Progress
by StringInRepair
Summary: "Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning."
1. Incognito

**I propose a challenge for anyone reading this that writes Fanfiction. I challenge you to post one of your older works (the one you consider to be the worst) and one of your most recent stories in the same document to showcase your growth as a writer. The point of this is to remind you of how far you've come, to inspire you, and to give you hope whenever you feel discouraged or stuck. I think its important to be okay with poking fun at ourselves and to also know our own strengths and weaknesses, so that we can improve.**

 **~ You don't have to include more than a chapter; there's no minimum or maximum amount of words; and you don't have to write a new story to showcase the improvement ~**

 **Without further ado...**

 **I hope you all enjoy my submission xD**

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 **Life Is But A Mystery (The Original Incognito) - 3 Chapters**

Hatsuharu glanced down at his rings as the Moon glinted off them blinding any passerbys. Meanwhile on the inside Haru was struggling trying to keep himself under control. He tried time and time again to win Rins heart back over but she still gave him the same tired answer over and over. "I'm tired of you." He still didn't understand, things were going great until Rin ended up hospitalized. So many questions swarming around in Haru's head. Blood rushing in his ears all he could think about was Rin, Rin, Rin.

Footsteps softly approached him. "Sir are you okay?" Hatsuharu looked up to see a beautiful girl that looked to be about his age. She had intriguing green eyes, auburn hair that was a couple inches past her shoulders falling in ringlets. She appeared sweet and tough as she was covered in lace, chains, and a choker with crescent moon pendant that hung from it.

"..." Haru looked back down at his rings without answering the girl. She sighed wondering why this man appeared so sad. Or is he a man, he could very well be the same age.

"I'm fine." Haru finally muttered a reply and stood up and started to head off into the woods. His sense of direction would be rendered even more useless now than ever. There was no telling where he would find himself since his thoughts were muddled. The girl stood there staring after his retreating form curiously.

Her name? Well her name was Mai Sohma. Who was that boy she wondered with the bicolored hair. He looked like someone out of a rave or something. Mai shrugged and decided to turn on her heels and complete the task she had been given before she had left. The Pharmacy.

Hatsuharu continued his trek through the woods and almost wished he had asked the strange girl for directions before leaving like that. Fortunately for him he managed to find Shigures before it got too late. He saw that the lights were still on so he knocked only to come face to face with Shigure himself.

"Well Hatsuharu, to what do I owe the visit? You're not black or anything are you?" Haru shook his head no and Shigure slapped on his goofy grin once again. Haru walked around Shigure and saw that Yuki and Tohru were on the couch watching Mogi and Kyo was fuming about something in the corner. When the door closed they all looked up just noticing Haru was even there.

"Oh Hatsuharu, this is a suprise! I didn't know you were coming. Do you want something to eat or something to drink or-"

Haru held his hand up to stop her, "Don't worry about it. I just came here because I needed to rest from my wandering in the woods."

"You mean to say ya got lost." Kyo snorted and Hatsuharu glared in his direction. He really hated when people treated him like an idiot. At least he wasn't black, or at least not yet.

"You can stay here for the night Haru. I'll call Hatori and let him know where you are." Shigure began to giggle like a schoolgirl when he mentioned Hatori. He walked off into the hallway his kimono dragging behind him.

Let's just say after you see what Mai is about to do, you'll come to find she's not a role model. The farthest thing from it. She quickened her pace and rushed into the pharmacy that was nearby. She darted behind a magazine rack and took out the camera that had a view of the front desk and the entrance out with a laser pointer.

She ran up to the counter to see a stocky boy in his early 20's with an oily acne covered face.

"Are you here to pick up a prescription?"

"Yeah- put the cough syrup and the sleeping pills in the bag. In fact give me your money too." She motioned for him to hand it over.

"Aww a little girl is trying to rob a store. For what- a lollipop? Very cute." He turned back around to resume shelving the medication when he heard a gun cock behind him.

Slowly turning back around he glanced down at Mai. He backed against the shelf managing to knock over several bottles spilling the contents across the floor.

"Now put it in the bag and be quick about it?" The pharmacist nodded and as he began to get the cash out he hit a red button under the counter.

Mai looked around making sure the coast was clear before snatching the bag from his clutches. She made a run for the door when she saw flashing lights. The cops. She spun around to head out the exit but found it was locked. So she kicked in the glass and ran out into a dark alley slumping against the brick wall. Mai was still trying to catch her breath and she made sure no one was nearby before running home. Her life depended on it.

She climbed in the window of her bedroom seeing how her foster parents hadn't known she had left to begin with. She shoved the bag of drugs and cash into her nightstand drawer and collapsed on her bed. It has been a heck of a night. But she had to do this...For him.

The next morning Mai was still feeling groggy and was recovering from last nights midnight raid. She slowly sat up rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. After about fifteen minutes she finally got out of her warm haven that was her bed and showered, brushed her hair, and changed into her school uniform.

Mai shoved her bag from the pharmacy into her bag and ran downstairs and sat down at the breakfast table. Her foster parents were immensely strict especially when it came to order as they are both military veterans.

Takumoto was shoving food up his nose once again but no one bothered to scold him. In fact everyone else looked downtrodden for some reason.

Mai's 'Mother' reached over and grabbed her 'Fathers' hand as if bracing each other for what Mai's reaction would be.

"Mai...We- You know how you're a Sohma and your parents gave you up because of your Zodiac form. Her Zodiac form was embarrassing to her to be quite honest. I mean sure a fox is supposed to be this great hunter and all, bug it didn't change matters.

Mai nodded wondering where this was going. "Well the head Akito Sohma has made living arrangements for you to live with your cousins Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure Sohma."

"What? The he-"

"Language Mai." Her foster dad berated and Mai just rolled her eyes. Really? That's the least of his worries after what they just told her.

"-See ya." And with that Mai slung her bag over her shoulder and left for school making sure to slam the door on her way out.

When Mai arrived she angrily spun the knob on her locker and missed the second number in her combination. She tried again to no avail. "Ugh!" She yelled punching the locker door managing to leave an imprint from where her fist had been.

"Having trouble?" Haruhi asked shaking her head. She could tell by how she punched her locker that her best friend was in her usual happy mood. Mai sighed and leaned back against her locker, "you have no idea how mad I am right now."

"So just like normal. Are you still helping Ryu? Y'know...Dealing drugs," Haruhi dropped her voice on the last part and Mai nodded. Haruhi frowned, she was worried that one day Mai would get hurt and that it would be all her fault. She wouldn't be able to live with herself it that we're to happen.

To get off the topic Haruhi nudged Mai with her elbow bubbling with excitement, "So you gonna ask the Prince Yuki to the writer formal?"

Mai scoffed, "I'm not about to spend a day dress shopping, getting my hair and nails done and going shoe shopping to break my neck for one night when we're in a hot gym. And you know how packed its gonna be and how bad it would be if I transformed. You're not even supposed to know. You're sworn to secrecy. Plus even if I were to ask someone...Purple head is just not my type, end of story."

Haruhi slowly processed this information before waggling her eyebrows, "Then what exactly is your type?" Before she could answer Ryu sauntered up to Mai and told Haruhi to beat it. Haruhi gave a final glance to Mai before running off.

"You got what I asked?" Ryu looked around making sure no one was watching before they made their little exchange. Drugs for cash. "You are one step closer." And with that Ryu was gone.

Mai finally managed to pry open her locker door and stuff the bag of cash inside and she slammed it shut. Why wouldn't Ryu hold up his end of the deal? She did everything he asked what more could he ask for. Mai had done all this in order for Ryu to not harm her boyfriend Katsumi. She still didn't remember how she ended up working for Ryu in the first place but she hated it. She had been ever since she was a second year in middle school.

Mai picked up her bag and dragged herself off to class not caring if she was late or not. When she was almost at the classroom door she decided to hell with it and went up to the roof instead. It would be a lot better for it would give her time to think. When she opened the heavy metal door she had no idea of what or in this case who was on the other side. It was the same black and white haired boy from the day before. Mai hesitantly walked over and sat down next to him and only then did he look at her.

"...You're the girl from yesterday?" Mai nodded and pulled her legs up to her chest resting her chin on her knees. Haru continued to stare up at the sky and this went on for about ten minutes before Haru spoke again. "I apologize if I came off rude yesterday...I was just in a bad mood." Mai nodded understandingly.

"So, you cut class often?" Mai laughed lightly trying to make conversation and Haru sighed. "Well now more often than before but I've had my share of times. Good place to get away from it all and to clear your head."

"Gosh you sound like my therapist." Mai 's laughter ringing like bells causing Haru to glance at her out of the corner of his eye curiously. "What would you need a therapist for." Hatsuharu asked boredly and Mai rolled her eyes for what seemed like the billionth time. "My parents- pardon. My _foster_ parents assume that I'm broken and need fixing since I never really talk back home. And when I do that I'm saying 'un-ladylike things'"

"Well so far from what I've seen you are complex." Mai grinned at that. They hardly knew eachother and yet he already had her personality down. "I don't think I quite caught your name cow boy." Haru sweatdropped. "Why do you say cow boy?" Mai shrugged and leaned back against the wall behind them. "First thing that popped into my head. Cause' of your hair I guess."

"Oh. I'm Hatsuharu Sohma." Now it was Mai's turn to be suprised. "Sohma? I'm Mai Sohma."

Hatsuharu and Mai both stared at each other in amazement. How often do you meet another family member that you e never heard of until now that you keep bumping into them? Very minimal.

"Oh." That's all Haru said. I mean what else could he say? " _Oh so you're a Sohma hmm? Are you a distant relative or a close cousin? Judging by your looks you're probably of the Junishi as well. That's good because I'm also the Ox." "Oh no way I'm the fox!" "No way!" "Way!" And the two link arms running off into the sunset together._ Yeah like that'll happen.

"So how come I've never heard of you?" Haru asked now completely facing her.  
Mai just shrugged once again. "I really don't associate with any Sohma since I live elsewhere. Wait actually today I have to move into some guys house. Starts with an S. Ugh it's gonna drive me crazy till I figure out the name. Now what was it-"  
"-Shigure." Haru supplied and Mai snapped her fingers. "Yeah him. Apparently Akito says I have to live there."

Haru looked down shaking with anger. Akito. Wasn't he the one that started all this shit between Rin and him. Akito pushed Rin out of the two story window killing their relationship.

"You okay?" Mai reached out to comfort him but Haru- correction. Black Haru gripped her wrist crushing it causing her to wince in pain.

"Are you okay? Are you okay? Is that all you know how to say. And just for the record I'm not okay!" Black Haru growled. I mean why the heck couldn't this just chick just leave him alone. Misery loves company? Yeah right.

Tears began to form in her eyes the tighter his grip became, "Haru you're hurting me."

"That's obviously the point." Haru let go of her wrist and picked her up slamming her into the wall causing her to hit her head. Haru still holding the collar of her shirt spoke venemously, "How dare you walk around without a care in the world while Rin is incapacitated and broken? You don't deserve to even breathe the same air she does you worthless filth." And with that Black Haru stormed off. The normal tough Mai that no one could ever touch broke down and cried.

She remembered being only five years old with her parents constantly abusing her treating her like a dog. Making her sleep outside even in the pouring rain, starving her, burning her, making her do all the chores, she was isolated from everyone and everything, and every night her parents made her recite how useless pathetic and worthless she truly was. Her Dad called her worse things than what her Mother did. One day they had enough of Mai and threw her out on the street. She was constantly scrambling for food, sleeping under bridges and behind alleys, going door to door waiting for her prayers to be answered. And just when she had given up hope Ryu supplied her food and water if she would do as he requested. Finally a police officer found her and asked her where her parents were and where she lived.

"I have no parents." Was the sad reply and so a social worker stopped by and searched until she found a foster home for Mai and they took her in with open arms. That's how she came to be the rough around the edges chick she was today. She knew how to fight hence the battle scars, she's gone through hardship, and she still manages to survive.

The final bell rang signaling the end of school. Mai hurriedly dried her tears and swooped off the roof landing in the bushes. Of course she had several scrapes, bumps and bruises. And since it was a second story building she broke her ankle but she didn't care. She deserved the pain, or so she thought. Mai continued to limp until she ended up in an unfamiliar forest. Where was Shigures house? Should she just swallow her pride and ask for directions? Nah that was for sissies. She continued to limp until she collapsed in exhaustion and before she could help it her eyes slowly drifted closed.

When she came to she was surrounded by a brunette, a silver haired boy she recognized as the prince, a blonde, an orange haired guy, a black haired man, and...Hatsuharu. Mai shot up only to hiss in pain. She must have fallen harder than she thought.

"Please Mai you must rest." The brunette reminded her determinedly.

"And just who are you people? And how do you know my name?" Mai looked from person to person with growing suscpicion.

"Oh I'm Tohru Honda and I live here with the Sohmas Shigure, Kyo, and Yuki." Tohru plastered a big smile on her face and Mai nodded in understanding. Haru must have told them her name.

"We called the family doctor Hatori to come look things over. So Akito said you need to stay here huh? I wonder what he's up to this time around," Shigure said with a faraway look in his eyes. If you ask Mai he came off as quite creepy.

"Thanks but I'm fine...Really." Mai pulled the covers back and saw that her ankle was wrapped in an ace wrap bandage courtesy of this Tohru girl.

"I think your ankle says different." Haru retorted picking at the black nail polish on his thumb nail.

Mai twitched, "Why are you talking to me? I thought I was filth?" Haru looked up in puzzlement. "Can I speak to Mai...Alone." Everyone else left murmuring in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me. You know what you said! And just for the record I'm not filth!...I'm not." Mai's voice dropped to a whisper and a tear escaped her eye which she quickly wiped away.

"Oh I might not have remembered because I was probably black. I wonder what provoked me..."

"Thats easy. The same person to blame for everything wrong with the world, me." Mai turned away to face the wall but Haru decided she needed to be comforted. Mai may have sounded mature, tough, and like she could handle herself. But right now she looked like a frail child that had been scarred far too many times. Mai shoved Haru off her and he tried once again. Eventually after another try she gave in and hugged him back.

Before they realized it they sat like this for half an hour and it would have gone on longer if they hadnt been interrupted by a feminine giggle that emitted from Shigure.

"Oh don't stop you two are just so cute together. Hatori come look, Haru found a new sex buddy!"

How many times did he have to hit his head to come up with such a name as sex buddy?

Haru and Mai immediately pulled away. Haru still didn't show emotion but he did allow a low growl to escape in Shigures direction warning him to quit while he's ahead. Mai on the other hand turned pale. Shigure ran off crying out for Ayame and his laughter could be heard throughout the house.

Haru chuckled to himself wondering how his first love was taking it. He wondered what threat Yuki decided on this time. Hatori crossed over and introduced himself to Mai before rummaging through his black doctor bag.

"Do you have all your stuff together?"

"Well Hatori I was hoping I would be able to stay a couple of nights." Haru looked up with the same emotionless face. Mai wondered if he ever showed emotion other than anger or his neutral one.

"Don't you have your own place I could drop you off at?" Hatori fished out his stethoscope and stuck the plugs in his ears and Haru responded, "We have school tomorrow so it would be easier to stay here to avoid getting lost. Besides my parents are out of town for two months on their 'second honeymoon' as they put it."

Hatori shook his head, "I'm often tempted to just buy you a GPS." Hatori examined all of Tohrus first aid handy work and made a few minor adjustments. He checked for a concussion, ligament tears, and any lacerations he might have missed.

"Make sure to keep your left foot elevated above your heart, drink plenty of fluids and eat three meals a day. You're slightly malnourished, any questions?" Mai shook her head managing to catch the doctors orders. There was something comforting she found in this cousin of hers. She had also felt a sense of familiarity and warmth at the same time tension and a cold heart.

Hatori got up and Haru followed him out into the hallway closing the door behind him.

"Can I stay here a few days outside of school to take care of her?" Hatori eyed him suspiciously out of the good eye not covered by a tuft of hair.

"Why the sudden interest? I hope you're not using her to get over Rin. Because you feel like your conscience won't be clear until you help this girl to compensate for what little you could do for Rin."

Hatsuharu glared at the zodiac's 'seahorse'. What makes him think he can just speak that way? Who died and made him the king of judgement?

And with that Hatori went down stairs taking steps two at a time and told Ayame to come and because of his great admiration for Harori he followed. Haru went downstairs himself to get Mai a glass of milk and a plate of cookies that Tohru had baked. He saw Yuki and Kyo duking it out and Yuki was angrier now more so than usual because of his flamboyant brothers surprise visit. Tohru was trying to make peace and Shigure was there with a bowl of popcorn putting his money on Yuki winning the fight in under ten seconds.

Haru climbed the stairs and opened the door to see Mai looking out the window with longing at the setting sun.

"I brought you milk and cookies." Haru grunted. "I'm lactose intolerant and I despise oatmeal cookies." In order to cover up her embarrassment from What Shigure referred to them as, she resorted to the next best thing. Being difficult.

Haru sat the tray down on the nightstand twitching. "I was trying to be nice." Haru explained through clenched teeth and Mai rolled her eyes.

"Yeah well maybe I'm allergic to cookies too. Are you trying to kill me?!"

"Oh is that a request? I could always choke you to sleep." Haru growled yet he was still white for the time being.

"Aww you're not gonna sing me a lullaby too?" Mai slumped against the pillows and the both exchanged death glares with eachother.

They continued this for what seemed like ages to them but in reality was only five minutes before Yuki stepped in between them.

"Mai you have a visitor." Yuki stepped aside and Katsumi stepped out from behind the prince.

"Katsumi!" Mai squealed her eyes shining with tears of joy to see him unharmed. The deal with Ryu was that he'd take care of her as long as she did what he asked. And since she find foster care she no longer required his services, but he required hers. So he blackmailed her with what was most important to her. Katsumi.

"Who is this?" Haru asked curiously and strangely enraged. This guy wasn't bad looking, far from it. Did Haru feel a sliver of jealousy that this guy knew Mai and that this guy could bring that cute smile to her face. Why was he thinking things like this, wasn't Mai his newfound archenemy or something?

"My boyfriend." That did it. It was just enough to unleash Black Haru still clueless about his budding feelings for Mai Sohma.

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 **Embarrassing. But not as bad as I thought xD (I think I edited the first chapter a bit ago, but its still bleh)**

 **Now...onto a recent piece! ^_^**

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I stand outside his dormitory. Water pelts me like bullets, grazing the skin of my arms and legs. But I just remain in place, soaked to the bone as if the water nurtured me. As if it helped me to right myself and breathe normally again. I'm drenched in the yellow, ethereal glow that emanates from the streetlight that towers above me, as my clothes cling to me like they're an extension of me by the time I hear approaching footsteps. But I refuse to turn around. I know its not just an ordinary person, passing me by on the sidewalk. He has a different feel; a different atmosphere that follows him, latching onto his coattails and demanding that you give him your undivided attention. It beckons you to involve yourself in the mystery that is Haru, enticing you to give your secrets in exchange for his own.

"Mai, I need to talk to you." His speech is smooth and seamless, rather than the stilted staccato I'd anticipated. We were both coming from two separate paths, to meet at the neutral crossroads of this sidewalk, just outside of his dorm. The air was thick and suffocating, even though the downpour only came down harder.

I meet his request with silence, grasping both of my arms in a weak attempt to trap whatever heat remained.

It rained down with a vengeance as his arms wind around my waist, and his mouth rests below my ear. The moment his lips pressed against my neck, I should have swung on him. Hit him...did _something_ to get far, far away. But I'm an idiot...my hand moved to the back of his head, to pull him closer. And my eyes fall shut as I fight my desire to escape, though I wish I didn't feel the unction to stay here.

He groans against my skin, a whoosh of warmth setting off goosebumps as he surrounds me. I feel so miserable because I know it wasn't his fault that Rin kissed him, no matter what she said. I know he didn't reciprocate it. And I hate that. It would have made it so much easier to leave him if he'd decided to cheat on me back then. He was faithful to me...even when I was a royal pain; a virus, to him.

His thumbs find the belt loops of my jeans, drawing me to him in a movement I barely register as he lays kisses all over me. We're bathed in rain and fog, but it doesn't seem to deter either of us from giving in to what we'd been starved of the past few months. One hand moves from my hip to my stomach, as he nips my earlobe. I didn't even know that my ears were sensitive or that they could be considered erogenous until I'd gotten entangled with him. But...

"Haru," I gasp out, biting my lip to keep from crying out at the onslaught of emotion. He was like a heady, intoxicating cocktail that I finally allowed myself to indulge in again.

He shivers at the way I say his name, and his palm flexes against my stomach.

"Can we go to your room?"

He pauses at my request, leaning back just enough that my heart rate climbs down a step or two. When it hits me that it sounds like I'm implying that I want to become a new notch in his headboard, I stumble over my words trying to clarify.

"I mean..um, to..talk. Because I- er, we need to?"

His answer is to grab my hand and run out of the rain and into the shelter of his dorm. The hallways lack light except for the little lanterns that hang overhead. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. It had to have been well past lights out by now.

The plan was for us to come back and discuss everything. But when I got a look at his movie collection, I changed direction in hopes of putting it off for as long as possible. If the wrong things were said, it could be the end. Even though I tried to cut him loose myself, I did it because I was afraid...and especially terrified of him maybe rejecting me. But I realize now that never being with him again is the scary part.

I blindly picked out a movie and popped it into the DVD tray, taking my seat next to Haru on the floor in front of his bed. The screen illuminates and casts its glow across the room as it picks up where he or Yuki left off the last time. In the scene, a woman presses her hand against the glass of the shower, and it fogs up with condensation as a man lurks into the bathroom, creeping on her as she showers.

What the heck?

It transitions to him making his way down the hallway, into the kitchen towards what I assume to be her kitchen sink. His gaze drops to where the wine glass is deposited, bringing it up to examine the lip print that stained it. He draws it towards his mouth, matching his lips up with hers and drinking the last remnants of red wine.

Okay...I apparently suck at selecting movies at random. Good to know.

Haru's hand drops to mine, his fingers weaving through the spaces between. Its the familiarity of his ring on my finger, colliding with his that snaps me out of the film and into reality. My hearing is tunneled, narrowed. Its as if every other sound is muted except ours; of breaths and heartbeats. Mine is thudding and clamoring like I could hear it through the floorboards, taunting me into submission. Like it was beckoning me to bend to its will and relieve it of its wounds by baring them to him. All because he reached out to me to be my anchor.

"I...was raped, Haru." I try to inhale, but there's a knot in my chest. Even though I know I've stated the obvious.

"And, I don't know what to do anymore. I thought I had everything under control and that nothing could throw me. I've seen too much. Heard too much... _done_ too much, to be affected as badly as I was. But I-" I falter in my confession as my voice catches on that one syllable. I choose to stare down at my legs, covered by the pair of shorts he let me borrow from being out in the rain.

"I feel like there's no hope. For real, this time. I'd always thought like that, it was my mentality to not have faith or put my hope in anything...or anyone. But I really can't get over this." I grit my teeth, feeling the dam softening and my defenses beginning to fold. "I just _can't_ stop thinking about it. Or feeling it. Its like every time I breathe, I can feel him inside of me and its a nightmare."

The oxygen in the room feels paper thin. I heave, desperately trying to stop the panic attack from taking me. Because I don't want to fall apart. Not in front of him!

His hold on my hand tightens marginally, my pulse jumping in response to my sudden awareness of him again. I can feel the rage and sadness from the way his hand quivers, but it never releases mine. And I know right then, that's it for me. There was no chance I'd be leaving here emotionally unscathed. It was impossible. I turn towards him, tracing the line of his jaw with my thumb, feeling the stinging in my eyes and the inevitable that follows.

I start crying.

A wave of vertigo knocks the breath out of me as my chest caves in on itself. But he only holds me to him, tilting his head downwards so that his forehead meets mine. He doesn't ignore how badly I'm trembling and on the verge of convulsions because of how much fear and panic is gripping my soul. He doesn't mock how the rhythm of my heartbeat is rapidly spiraling off beat. Instead, his own tears fall upon my eyelashes and join mine, gliding down my cheeks to converge at my chin. I'm struck with the sudden overwhelming warmth and cold that stems from him crying for me. And crying with me. I can't help but bury my head into the point where his neck meets the collar of his worn band tee, though I apologize over and over about soaking his shirt with my weakness.

"Never apologize for crying in front of me, Mai," he whispers into my hair, kissing me on the top of my head, fearing how I'd react to intimacy. "Emotion isn't something we're supposed to hide."

I pull my lip between my teeth, laughing through my tears a little. "You really do have a poetic soul..."

He smiles in remembrance, drawing my hand up to the lips that alleviated my pain. He rains kisses down on my knuckles and fingertips, as he recalls how much time has gone by. "You learn something new about me everyday? Isn't that right?"

I watch his lips trail past the back of my hand to the inside of my wrist, entranced by his ministrations. "I've been learning about you since the day we met. Remember that game of 20 Questions? We never did finish, after all-" My breath hitches as he pulls me into his lap so that my legs are on either side of him, and we're eye to eye. But I try to hide his image and plunge myself back into darkness by squeezing my eyes shut. It was so familiar being this close to a man...and the last time...that ended in so...much...

"Open your eyes, Mai."

Its gentle but carried with great conviction. But I'm scared to open my eyes. I don't want to see that man staring back at me. I didn't want to see those blue eyes or those black loafers. I could still feel his nails on me. And smell the space barely and saltine crackers from then...I didn't want to see him.

"Please?" I feel his hand take my chin, caressing it with his thumb. "I would never hurt you."

I inhale. Then exhale.

When my eyes reopen and the blurry focus of black and white clears, I recognize who is here with me. And he would never hurt me. Not like that.

My heart leaps with gratitude and praise. Because I'd never known someone so kind and patient and understanding. Everyone always abandoned you when it wasn't _convenient_ for them anymore. But he's also pushed when he needed to, and left me to myself in the moments I couldn't breathe because of where I was and whom I was with. I feel indebted to him, but have no way of knowing how to repay him. What could I possibly give him?

"Haru?" I ask, opening and closing my hand as hesitance creeps in. "What do you want? How can I repay you for putting up with me?"

Silence sweeps the room and something like a draft follows my question. He doesn't give away what he's thinking or feeling even though I'm looking right into his eyes. Didn't they say the eyes are the window to the soul? Because his revealed nothing but the blankness I was once accustomed to. But instead of answering, he smirks, and his hand moves to the small of my back. He yanks me forward so that I'm flush against him from my seat on his lap, leaving no space between us emotionally or physically. His mouth lands on my cheek and he speaks against me, "You can give me your pain." His lips glide to outline mine before pausing just above them. "You can give me your wants and needs. Your heart and soul." I suck in a breath and this time, he shivers as he hovers over my bottom lip. "You can give me yourself. That's all I need."

I try to laugh to ease the tension, but it comes out breathy. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have some milk, Moo Man?"

His toxic eyes blaze like oil unifying with fire. As if my laughter was his kerosene. "I've missed you, Mai..." he murmurs, pressing his lips against mine and wrapping his arms securely around my waist. I moan out of pain just as much as I do pleasure, because it hits me how badly I've missed him. It hurt more to be apart than I'd ever imagined...I loved him. So much that I couldn't wrap my head around it. I take his cheeks in the palms of my hands, reciprocating his kiss with more passion and fury than I've ever managed to before. I was whirled up in an emotion that had my chest bursting with delight and regret all at once.

His tongue skims my lips like he was trying to get to the end before reading me from the beginning. When his tongue plunges past my lips and I taste vanilla, it lights me up in a way that I can't explain. He said that he hated vanilla...but there was the flavor of the malts I drank. Vibrations from his throat thump around like the bass to our favorite song as he runs his hands down my sides in a manner that makes my insides burn with his heat. I shift as warmth pools in my stomach and his hips roll towards mine, enticing a throaty sound to part my lips in a way that's embarrassing. I withdraw, mortified though Haru seems to be enjoying every minute of it. He closes the gap by taking my bottom lip between his teeth, sucking it, before diving towards my throat and kissing his way down. And my back arches against the onslaught of intensity. It kindles more of that heat that floods the pit of my stomach as the desire for what was my biggest fear is stirred. Sex. Sex. Sex. That's all I wanted...but its wrong. All of it. Even though that last bit of innocence had already been stolen from me, I still wanted my time with Haru to be special and kept within marriage. For him to show me that sex didn't have to be ugly or selfish. If he would have me one day, that is.

Remembering this, I have to rip myself apart from him to hold onto the wits I had left. Even though he was a tempting alternative. "We need to stop..." Unfortunately, my whimper didn't sound too convincing.

"Yeah," he rasps, his hands clasping behind my back and halting their movements. "You're right. I'm sorry. I got carried away."

I nod, feeling just as guilty as he sounded. "I know. I did too. And..."

"And?" He asks, encouragingly.

"It felt...um. Good?" I squeak out, my cheeks blaring like a red traffic light. It somehow darkens to a new shade when he chuckles, pecking me on the lips softly. "You sound unsure."

"Well, I'm sure. I really enjoyed it." I close my eyes, slapping my hand to my forehead. "I sound so stupid."

"No you don't," he insists, rising to his feet with my legs still wrapped around his midsection. "I find it unbelievably sexy how shy you are about it."

I huff, flinging my arms around his neck so I won't fall. "Yeah right."

"I mean it."

Choosing to ignore his statement and the blush it brings, I decide to ask him the question that had been nagging me for the past few minutes as he seats us on the bed. "Did you happen to have ice cream today? Like, vanilla?"

He gives me such a wicked grin that my heart is devoured by anticipation. "Why do you ask?"

"Just answer the question, Hatsuharu," I demand, impatience swelling up in my chest like a balloon full of hot air. "Or I'll have to kill you."

Haru starts with a laugh, surprise and satisfaction burning brightly in his eyes. "You're still just as feisty as before. Have I told you that I missed you?"

I duck my head to hide my smile, but can't help but wonder if he's trying to distract me again. "Yes, you did. But that still doesn't answer me." I amble off his lap and make my way up the bed, sitting so that my back rests against the headboard. I go so far as to fold my arms and glare at him until he decides to give me a straight answer.

He holds his hands up in surrender, shrugging with that stupid (sexy) smirk of his. "I did have a malt, Queen Mai. I apologize if it offended your highness."

I growl and snatch up one of his pillows, bopping him on the head before tossing it behind me. "Smart alec. I thought you hated malts."

"I do," he quips, twisting around so that he faces me full on and looks about ready to pounce on me. "But its like I've said. I missed you...malts remind me of you."

He always knows what to say to get me feeling sappy. How?! "Well dumplings probably do, too. But I don't see you eating that crap."

Such a simple statement seems to engulf him in appreciation and contentment, having long forgotten my pillow assault, he decides to join me at the head of the bed. He slips under the covers and gestures for me to move for a second so that he can pull back the covers on my side of the bed. I like the sound of that... _my_ side of his bed. It spoke of commitment as if he wanted to keep me at his side. He doesn't have to tell me twice for me to bury myself beneath his heavy, toasty blanket before he turns off his bedside lamp and darkness clothes the room.

Terror causes me to frantically look around, wishing my eyes were already adjusted to the dark. I didn't have my sleep aid or nightlight. It was always so hard to sleep when it was pitch black now.

The familiar panic bears down on me so heavily that it feels strangling, seconds before I'm against a warm, inviting body and wrapped up in an embrace that quiets the fear that ran rampant in my mind. His breath comes out in short, warm puffs against my hair as he cradles the back of my head and my leg entangles with his again. I allow the serenity I only knew around him to settle over me like the darkness that almost paralyzed me just a moment before.

I didn't know what just happened tonight. I wondered if I was even sober because all the decisions I made under the secrecy of twilight were not the same ones I'd make once the dawn rose. But I'd felt lonely for so long. And right now, I don't. I don't care about anything else right now. I could deal with it in the morning. But all I wanted to do was lie here with him and pretend that things were just as before; when the mission hadn't happened yet.

Now if only my heart could convince my brain of that come tomorrow morning. Right now, my celebrated memory and brain were just a big pile of mush.

"Goodnight Mai..."

Yup. Mush.

I nuzzle his neck and close my eyes, reveling in how comforting it was to be so close to him.

"Goodnight Haru."

* * *

 **2009 - 2016**

 **A lot can change in between ;)**


	2. Mirror, Mirror

**Because I need consolation after wrangling with a chapter for a story, I figured I should give myself a laugh and post the comparisons of the original Mirror, Mirror alongside the final one. It was all over the place and there were too many plots. Its almost like I blended all my OCs together to create this version of Kurumi XD My gosh. I couldn't even post this without cracking up haha**

 **Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any nausea, burning corneas, or nightmares.**

 **Rainbow of the Past & Rain of the Future (Original Mirror, Mirror) - 2-3 Chapters**

A girl with short blue hair (shoulder length) and rainbow color eyes walked down the hallway without a care in the world. She yawned slinging her bag over her shoulder. The piercings on her ears, nose, and navel glinted. Her uniform had her own personal "style" to it, she showed off her piercings and tattoo on her rib cage. The words read Kachou Fuugetsu which meant **Experience the beauties of nature, and in doing so learn about yourself.** Of course she ignored all the guys' whistling and all the girls angry glares making comments like, "Whore," "Slut," "What a bitch!" No one understood why she dressed the way she did except Kurumi herself. When she stepped into the classroom and found her way to an empty desk next to some random punk with bi-colored black and white hair. He has balls to dye his hair that color Kurumi thought to herself. Then he had the audacity to look her up and down like a perv.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," she mumbled boredly as she still felt his burning gaze.

"How did they even allow that-" before he could finish she leaned in eyes flashing, "Not one word about my hair, the outfit, tattoos, or piercings cow boy," she sat back and began to stare at the back of the boy's head in front of her. Her gaze was so intense Haru was afraid she'd burn a hole in the back of his head. Haru had piercings too, he even had a tattoo but that still didn't mean he wouldn't make a comment about her, at least thats whay Kurumi thought.

When class began Sensei Takahashi had assigned partners for a project. Then he called, "Kurumi Fujioka and Hatsuharu Sohma." The bell rang and they all filed out. When Kurumi got to her locker she slammed it shut only to face her new partner. She rolled her eyes, "What the hell do you want?"

"If we have the same lunch we could meet up and discuss the project," she sighed and followed him outside after begrudgingly agreeing to his suggestion. When they walked towards a big tree you saw a group of random people. Wait! She recognized Prince Yuki and he was a Sohma like Haru. All the Sohmas are known as the good looking boys in school earning them fan clubs. In fact although she wasn't a Sohma, Kurumi had a fan club of her own which only sickened her.

She got the usual glares people gave her due to her uniform, blue hair, and rainbow colored eyes. Her appearance in general.

"Hello Miss Fujioka," Yuki's face twisted into a grimace. I really despised him, when I locked eyes with him I saw his past, present and future. Its a gift and a curse that I have. Not to mention I know what that bastard thinks of me, not that I cared or anything..

I sat down tucking my legs underneath me. The brunette Tohru Honda looked at me and I felt sad. She lost her mother to an accident and her Father to an illness. I was glad the Sohmas took her in she was so selfless no matter how often she got hurt.

"Are you hungry Kurumi-San?" Ugh I hated San. "Kurumi, and I don't eat." Just thinking about eating still made me sick, I got sent to a rehabilitation center by my parents who acted like they cared for the public when at home I would suffer. I was sent to Rehab due to my eating disorder and my cutting.

"its not healthy to not eat Miss Fujioka," Yuki stated matter-of-factly. He said my name like it was a disease.

"No Shit Sherlock. Look don't worry about it. You don't even know me," but I know you.

"Ya damn rat its none of your business," Kyo yelled and Yuki retaliated just as angrily, "Shut up Stupid Cat!"

I glanced down at my arms. Although I go to counseling twice a week I still haven't been able to stop cutting myself. Its a long story as to why I started. I had fresh cuts from last night that I didn't care to use anistheptic and i just let the cuts breathe. The ached so bad. She slid on her black jacket afraid they'd see but Haru saw and stopped her.

"Kurumi...Did you cut yourself?" She yanked her arm away and zipped her jacket up.

"Don't adress me so casually and why don't you shut the hell up and mind your own damn business?!" she had a similar temperment to that of Kyo except maybe worse. She stormed away before he could attempt to talk her into getting help. She didn't need help. She was stubborn that way. She was so enraged, furious, no- pissed off beyond belief. Everyone was so presumptious about her they didn't know her story. The whole thing was nauseating. She decided to work on part of the project in the library when he caught up with her.

"What are you a stalker?" She asked amused as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "We do have a project to work on..."

And with that they grabbed books from the shelves for research materials, They settled at an empty table and sat across from eachother. As Kurumi began to record the information when Haru looked up and gazed at her as if thinking for a long time. "What does your tattoo say?" he couldn't get a good enough look at it. She glared at him until their eyes met, images flashed through her mind. He had a similar past to hers...

Kurumi gave him a gentle smile, "Its just an old Japanese saying...Experience the beauties of nature, and in doing so learn about yourself. Its stupid," she blushed and Haru's face broke into a smile. He never thought that she would be one to blush.

"I don't think its stupid," he pulled up his own jacket sleeve to reveal a tattoo. But when he realized that it was the name of his ex-girlfriend Isuzu Sohma (Rin) he quickly covered it back up. "Lunch is over...we should head back to class," Haru stood up looking away from her.

"Nah, I'm gonna skip. School is too...suckish for me to deal with another three hours. Bye," she waved him away when he followed her. She didn't even notice his presence till she was about to hop on a motorcycle.

"Now I know you're stalking me," she sighed once again. He was a real pain at times...he made her feel so _odd_ inside. There was several emotions swirling up inside of her like a column of..she didn't know what. "If you're leaving I am to," he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Jeez sometimes I swear you're five," she whisked out her red and black screwdriver and used it to open a compartment on the motorcycle. She then began to connect the red and blue wires together. "You're stealing this bike aren't you?" "No Haru, I'm hotwiring this just for kicks. Hell ya, I don't have a ride," finally she got the bike to startup and she smirked in satisfaction. She climbed on the bike. "You coming or are you gonna sit there like a pansy?" her eyes glinted with mischeif and he got on behind her. They both took of leaving a cloud of dust in their wake.

"Have you ever rode on a bike before?" He yelled over the wind.

"No! Call this a learning experience..." and with that she sped up until they came up to a big mansion that had a golden signed laced engraved with words that read, "Sohma Estate."

"I passed this place a few times, since you're Sohma I figured you live here," Haru saw Akito staring at him through the window. Haru didn't have time to think so he acted on instinct. When Kurumi was off the bike so Haru pulled her back behind him and took off towards Shigure's.

"You know how to- what was that for-" "I'll explain later," he stopped her and when they arrived the got off and walked in liked they lived there.

"Shigure must be out getting coffee or hiding from his editor. We can stay here until he gets back," Haru explained as they walked in. When they got inside the kitchen Haru got out a bottle of Ramune (A/N: I love it so I include this drink in my stories a lot). Kurumi rummaged through her bag pulling out knives, screw drivers, a pack of gum and unsatisfied she dumped the rest of the contents out until she found tiny wine. She always had some on her, she felt it was an escape from reality just like her cutting was.

"What are you Mary Poppins?" Haru laughed. (A/N: I kinda had to include that...)

She rolled her eyes and put the tiny bottle to her lips and had a sip before Haru took it away from her his eyes became dark, tiny, black orbs and he gave his weird Black Haru laugh. "Normally I'd allow you to drink because it would...make things easier. But I think I'd rather have you paying attention sweetheart."

"Who said I would ever do anything with you freak?!" she kicked him in the groin and retrieved her bottle of tiny wine. What she'd give to have a shot of whiskey right now, anything to help stop her from having the flashbacks she was to have. Flashbacks of her Father who raped her.

 _It wasn't too long ago when he last did. He used to only do it when her Mother went off on business trips in Tokyo but then he started to not care. He would threaten to murder her mom if she tried to stop him. Everytime I would be doing homework he would walk into my room and lock the door, everytime I had friends over he would say that I forget to do my chores again or that it was getting late. He would always come up with excuses for us to be alone. I don't understand why I have to be the one thats sexually abused. My friends began to stop hanging around me because my Father told their parents that I was caught sleeping around and that I would be a bad influence on their daughters. I was cut off from the outside world and left alone in the dark with him. He began to make dress "better" which meant more revealing for his own sick enjoyment and pleasure._

Finally the flashbacks stopped when I saw White Haru waving his hand in my face. "Are you okay?" he asked staring deeply into my eyes. "Yeah- yeah I'm fine," I really need a drink right about now...

Haru and Kurumi sat down to begin their homework and for them to do school work on their own something was suspicious. When Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru arrived Tohru freaked out immediatley.

"OH HATSUHARU-SAN, KURUMI WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! ARE YOU SICK?! OH NO ITS MY FAULT FOR NOT MAKING YOU STAY HOME TODAY! I WILL GO MAKE YOU BOTH LEEK SOUP-"

"Hey!" Kyo yelled.

"OH SORRY KYO-" Tohru was bowing so much I was afraid she'd break something.

"Tohru chill, we didn't stay home. We skipped," Kurumi shrugged. Wow she answered so nonchalantly...

"You skipped?" Kyo asked shaking with anger. "Why the hell didn't you take me?! Like I want to stay at that school with that damn rat!" While he was going off in another one of his...rants, Yuki decided to leave the room and Tohru followed to start on dinner and their own homework.

"Kyo calm down. If you want I can take you with me next time. Hell I may not even go to school in the first damn place," Kurumi started packing her bag and she zipped up her shiny black boots with laces and she began to leave as Kyo caught up with her. "Hey...Can I walk you home?" Kyo looked away blushing as she stared at him with a blank expression. Finally she shrugged and they left.

They were walking the first five minutes in silence when Kurumi spoke up, "Why is your hair the color carrot-top?" she smiled. She was smiling a lot more around the Sohmas. Well at least Kyo, Haru, and Tohru.

"I could ask you the same question," Kyo asked poking her head smiling?

"I asked first," she teased him grinning. He sighed and told her it would be a story for another day so she told him the same thing. When they arrived at Kurumi's house she sighed bracing herself for her Father who was off work for the week. She turned to Kyo who was still standing there, "Uh, thanks for dropping me off...See you around," Kyo nodded and turned back around towards Shigure's and Kurumi stepped into her house. She went up to her room and set her bag down and when her Father called her she walked into his bedroom and locked the door behind her.

 **The Next Day (School)**

Her Father was going to make her stay home but her Mother told him she needs to go to school in order to avoid any suspicion. She knew the real reason was her Mom wanted to protect her and she escaped to what was now her safe haven, school. Kurumi had a black eye from the struggle with her Father. She also had new cuts that decorated her arms from last night. She rushed off into the classroom and put her head on her desk for a few moments of solitude before Haru tapped her on the shoulder.

"You okay?" he asked with an emotionless expression and she looked away quickly before he saw her eye. "Yeah..I'm fine."

"Kurumi Fujioka to the front office!" the intercom boomed and she had no choice but to sling her bag over her shoulder and trudge to the office. When she arrived she saw the idiot president Makoto sitting the office with his arms crossed and the Kōchō (Principal) looked over her glasses at the blue haired girl.

"Miss Fujioka you should know our uniform policy by now. You know that an exposure of the midriff is inexcusable. Not only that you should also be well aware that we will not tolerate the blue hair either," she looked her over and snapped her fingers. Her assistant handed Kurumi a uniform that would cover her appropriatley and she mumbled she'd deal with the hair coloration later and waved her away to change and head to class. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She was grateful they didn't ask about her eye. She locked the stall behind her and changed into the uniform they provided, she sprayed her edgy perfume that smelled sweet and strong. She decided to stop by the Nurse's office and put a bandage over her left eye and walked to class. By the time she arrived she was late and earned herself detention. She just sank down in her seat and stared out the window until the excrutiating lesson was over and it was time for lunch.

 **At Lunch**

She found a spot on the grass in between Haru and Kyo and everyone else but her began to devour their lunch. She just stared at the ground.

"Blue, What happened to your eye anyway?" Arisa prodded pointing her chopsticks in Kurumi's direction.

"I- got into a fight," she made up on the spot and of course Uotani looked impressed and Yuki had a look of disgust on his face. He probably thought she was a thug.

"Miss Fujioka if you continue to get into fights one day you could wind up seriously hurt." Like he cared. Kurumi shot Yuki a death glare. He pissed her off so much. She was about to slap the stupid look off his face when a group of brunettes walked over and crowded around Yuki.

"Hello Prince Yuki," she guessed the leader said as she motioned for the rest of the girls to come over. This must be his fan club.

"I'm gonna go to the library again," and before anyone could bother to argue she left with Kyo and Haru behind her. At the library Kyo found an empty chair and rested his head on the table to take a nap. Why was he so tired? Haru on the other hand took the books out of his bag that Kurumi and Haru had found yesterday. They settled down across from eachother once again. Haru studied her and then decided to say what he had been thinking, "Did you really get into a fight?"

She looked up startled that he had been thinking about it. She stupidly turned beet red and looked down at the table. Well she kinda did get into a fight...with her Dad.

"Y-Yeah. Why do you care?" she asked suddenly angry taking Haru aback at her change of emotions.

"Because you're my friend," her responded cooly and she snorted, "Friend? We're just partners...Besides you still didn't explain to me why we had to run out of the estate yesterday and how you know how to ride a motorcycle," she folded her arms across her chest.

Haru smirked and leaned in to her face and kissed her full-on the lips. This of course suprised her as to why he did that all of a sudden. She tried to pull away but he cupped her face in his hands stopping her from doing so and she forgot what they had been talking about. When he pulled away Kurumi finally managed to compose herself enough to ask what he did that for. But before he could answer she noticed Kyo had awoken from his slumber and was shooting death glares at Haru.

"Why did you kiss her you asshole?!" he shouted his face turning redded by the second.

Haru's face returned back to normal and he shrugged. He started to walk out of the library and Kurumi tackled him twisting one arm behind his back.

"You're not getting off that easily! Why the hell did you kiss me?!" she demanded more agressivley and Haru asked her to let go of his arm first. After making sure he wouldn't run she let him go and he sat against a bookshelf.

"I don't know what came over me. Honestly I just felt I should have done that," he stared at her blankly. Kurumi without saying a word walked back over to the table, scooped up her things, and left the school. She needed some time to herself.

 **Mirror, Mirror**

 **Chapter Fourteen: Hangman**

In the twilight, Yuki and I lie cocooned under his thick comforter, his leg lightly grazing mine, and his fingertips resting against my hip. His fingertips move on their own accord, drawing lazy circles, and professing quiet passion. The sensation of it all was feathery and not seductive by any means; instead a constant reminder that he was here with me and that I wasn't alone.

Ever since I decided to stay with Yuki two weeks ago, I hadn't slept with anyone. I liked to believe I wasn't addicted, but my body cried out for it every now and then. I considered Yuki several times and then talked myself out of it. There was that one night when we came close. When I'd been too drunk to think straight. But it didn't seem right. When it happened, I wanted to be fully aware of every movement and every sensation. I didn't want the empty hookups I was renowned for, I wanted the real deal. But with the truth of what went down with Akito, it was a far off topic, not even worth mentioning. The threat of her once again stealing him from me loomed above me like a grey cloud, ready to rain at any given moment.

Yuki dips his head down, and pecks me on my forehead, and presses himself against me. His heartbeat drums against my back in its tantalizing rhythm.

We hadn't spoken since we climbed into his enticingly warm bed together, and I wasn't sure if I should be the one to break the silence first. Fortunately he heard my silent plea. With another adoring butterfly kiss, he spoke. "Kurumi, I was thinking about where we stand with each other. We never really discussed it."

I shifted slightly and nodded in unspoken agreement. I wondered if he was a mind reader and he just didn't know it. Or maybe he _did_.

"What do you want us to be? I'm not exactly girlfriend material," I inquire as he kisses the shell of my ear, his lips treading playfully and teasingly.

He shakes his head and exhales softly. "You still have no idea Kurumi. You're bright and beautiful. But you're blind to your own capabilities and worth. You always sell yourself short and speak so lowly of yourself...why?"

The conversation was dipping into unwarranted territory. Something I wasn't ready to discuss. It was bordering on the real reason behind my purging and insecurities. It was a dagger coming dangerously close to my heart, catching me off guard, and without a shield. I was ashamed of the things I did in the dark and never disclosed it to Haru or Yuki. Being open was not my thing and I didn't want to start now.

Instead of responding with words, I replied with a kiss of my own in hopes of deterring him; capturing his lips with mine. Goosebumps break out on my arms as I relax into him and breathe him in.

I inhaled; ecstasy passing from his lungs into mine. As if he was giving me a piece of his soul, his life, and I was giving mine in return. In the throes of this bliss, my heart still aches as if its undeserved. My guilt like steel bars, keeping me from fully letting go and enjoying this. Enjoying him. He breaks the kiss with a gasp for air and he stares at me in shock and disappointment. Disappointment, an expression that looked ugly on just about everyone, even Yuki.

"Kurumi," his voice comes out a pained whisper, barely audible over the sounds of night. Somewhere a nightingale serenades us, its song shattering the dark and waking the nocturnal. Awakening me.

I look away, unable to face the disappointment written all over his face. When it came to describing Yuki, guarded and cordial always came to mind. He always had this practiced facade and way about him that piqued your curiosity. It left you thirsting for his secrets and hungering for what lie beneath that forced smile. But with me, that was hardly the case. His facade melted away and dissipated whenever I was around. His thoughts were an open book to me whenever his violet eyes met mine. That's why I couldn't look at him now...his grief was painfully clear to me. I didn't want to see how his concern marred his features. I didn't want to think about how I made him frown with my confessions. I couldn't do take it.

Tonight we were in a battlefield. Certain topics were minefields and he was just stepping all over them. How was he so oblivious to how painful the aftermath would be?

"I've thought of something...I think its best that we both agree to it," his voice cuts through my thoughts as the nightingale continues its crooning. I almost wish the bird would get closer if to drown out Yuki and the inevitable.

"We should be honest with each-other. Completely. No more secrets on both ends. I have to share with you and vice-versa." He nuzzles my shoulder softly, the ticklish feeling freeing me from some of my darker thoughts. "If we never tell each other anything, we'll never know one another's boundaries. We'll never be as close as I want us to be...I'll tell you everything, you have my word."

I sigh and lace his hand with my own, pondering his suggestion. If I tell him, he'll never see me the same way. Once people know things about you, there's no going back. It's the point of no return. What if he pulled away? What if he kicked me out and broke things off? What if we never spoke again and I never got to experience him. Learning of his flaws and imperfections. Of his likes and dislikes. Knowing him like my parents once seemed to know one another. I wanted that. And maybe I'd regret it in the morning, but I can't fight my desire of wanting to try with him.

A few minutes passed before I broke the silence. Before our dynamic shifted.

"I purge..."

Silence. Once again, deafening and unbearable silence floods the room. Even the bird shuts up. The only indication I had of him hearing me was his heart. How it sped up, like a metronome's tempo shifting from Andante to Vivace. I feel my sanity slipping away as second by second passes us by. It's been so long since he responded. He was the one that decided to start this.

"You, what?" His voice wobbles as fear weaves itself in and out of each syllable. It touched me that he cared enough to be concerned, but that wasn't enough to chase away the ever present guilt.

"I'm fat so...I...well, I don't like the way I look. So I came up with a solution to my problem," I explained, feigning nonchalance. I expected him to ask about it and wonder why I began such a thing. Or worse, tell me that I was beautiful and didn't need to do such a thing. Even coming from him I might not believe it. But instead, he delivered a confession of his own.

"I tried to kill myself the first time Akito forced herself on me..."

I suck in a harsh breath and the room begins to spin. Did I hear him correctly? He admitted to almost leaving the Earth prematurely because of _her_. The world seems to shift on its axis just because of those thirteen words. How different my life would be without Yuki and his solace. Being robbed of his love, his touches, his kisses. And worst of all, his very heart. The same heart that lulled me to sleep and separated me from my insomnia. Not feeling him against me and hearing him call me his Tanzanite. That was almost ripped away from me, just because Akito's selfish and lustful desires.

To shake off those thirteen words, I reach for his other hand, and hold it to my heart. My erratic heartbeat harmonizes with his pulse and trembles along with me. Tears spill out of my eyes before I can stop them, the embodiment and manifestation of my agony. They trail down my cheeks and splash against our joined hands, shattering the rhythm of our pulses.

No human should suffer this much. There's only so much a heart can take before it collapses and gives out. The body tries to heal and repair. It attempts to keep the life force going and acts as its protective barrier. But with enough heartbreak and loss, the pain penetrates the shield, and ravages you from the inside.

The rest of the night carries on without another sound from either of us. The suffocating weight of our utterances dispels the warmth and is replaced with a bitter cold. Our relationship is once again turned on its head, and we're both thrown for a loop once more. Both of us left to wade through the sorrow we're too young to know exists.

XxX

"Chick flicks?"

"Check."

"Popcorn?"

"Check."

"With extra butter and salt?"

"Duh. What do you take me for? What's a sleepover without a heart attack?"

Tohru and I are at the market shopping for our sleepover at Shigure's. Hana and Uo are also planning to stay over and will be there around six. To put me more at ease, Tohru made Hana promise to not use her waves - whatever that means - and for Uo to not carry any weapons. I met them the day I skipped gym, and yet, they seem more scary than the last time.

After we get back, I help Tohru fix up the room for the occasion.

A month ago, Shigure popped for a TV solely for Tohru. Of course she went on her usual modesty tirade about it being unnecessary and junk. But eventually she accepted it and it came in handy for tonight's chick flick fest. I hated sappy movies like cheesy rom-coms and things of the like. But I put up with it for Tohru's sake. Plus, it wasn't the only thing we'd be doing. We had board games and I had something in mind for the guys in the house...something devious.

I help Tohru move the bed further against the wall so there's more floor-space for sleeping bags. She sets down two large bowls of popcorn and four bottles of Ramune. As I look at the kernels I'm reminded of two instances. The night Mom announced she would be staying with Grandma and I shared a bowl with Haru. It was burnt, but it was the thought that counts. At least, that's his excuse.

The other was with my Father. He used to be hopelessly confused about the Japanese culture. Mom would tell me that he once tried eating popcorn with chopsticks. He figured that chopsticks were the only utensil in Asia. He's one-hundred percent French and learned Japanese from his friend. He met Mom when he ventured into Italy and she was on a high school field trip. He was in his 20's and she was 18. The age difference didn't matter at the time and he wound up moving to Japan _just_ because of his infatuation with my Mom. Hearing tales like that sparked romanticism in me but it only fluctuated in the sobering truth of its nonexistence. That was once upon a time. That was back home, and right now I'm at Shigure's, at a sleepover. Now isn't the time to think about such things.

"They're here! Oh, I hope they have a great time," Tohru skirted around the room, fluffing pillows, and straightening her covers. "Its just that they do so much for me and I wanted to do something in return. I just hope its enough."

I take a few steps forward and take her cheeks in the palm of hand, squishing her cheeks to the point she resembles a fish. "Listen to me boo...the best thing that you can offer us is your friendship. Don't think that isn't reward enough. Relax and go let them in..."

XxX

During a pivotal scene in the movie, crumpled tissues and popcorn kernels litter the floor, as Tohru and Hana both cry at the injustice on screen. The leading man has just received a Dear John letter, and he breaks down as his eyes scan the page. He just found out that his girlfriend was pregnant with his baby and she wanted him out of the picture. Apparently, she was seeing someone on the side, and no longer wanted him around.

I could understand Tohru crying at it, but Hana?

Uo pretends to gag and we exchange amused glances. She was actually a pretty cool chick. Intimidating, but fun to be around. She's someone you want on your side.

"So, what's this master plan of yours Ras?"

My eyebrow lifts in reflex to the weird sobriquet. "Ras?"

She bobs her head and begins rummaging through her bag for her pajamas. "Yeah, short for raspberry. Your hair color's blue. It's either that or Ringpop. Take your pick."

"Why not just call me Kurumi?"

She rolls her eyes and sets her oversized t-shirt down in front of her. "Where's the fun in that?"

Well, can't argue with that logic. Finally remembering what she asked, I search for my own sleepwear as I relay my idea. "I figured we could mess with the guys. Y'know, prank em'."

For a moment, Uo is still, not moving a single bit. Then, an almost infinitesimal smile plays along her lips as she considers all the possibilities. She draws a fist to her mouth and her eyes dance with excitement. "We _have_ to get orange-top! It has to happen. I call dibs!"

I shrugged as if to say 'have at it' and took a sip from my soda. "Okay. Then I call Haru. Hana, you want to prank Shigure?"

She tears her haunting eyes from the screen long enough to steel me with her gaze. "Absolutely. It would be an honor. He seems to be afraid of me already. Where would the harm be in it?" I laugh at this and set my Ramune down, turning towards the bubbly brunette. "Tohru? Are you willing to get Yuki? You can go easy on him. Actually, I'd prefer that you did."

Uo snorts, "Well isn't that sweet? You're looking out for him because he's your _boyfriend._ Mwah, mwah, mwah," she makes kissy faces before scooping up her clothes and heading to the bathroom to change.

"Real mature yankee...doodle?" I retort weakly before slumping against Tohru's bed. I really needed a nickname for her. "So, what'll it be? You gonna prank Yuki?"

Tohru wrings her hands - the nervous habit reached her now - and looks everywhere but at me. "I-I couldn't..."

"You can do a harmless one. One of the more mild pranks like...pouring shaving cream into his hand and tickling his nose with a feather. That's not so bad." It would actually be hilarious to see how Yuki reacts.

Tohru shakes her head frantically before reverting her attention back to the screen. I simply shrug my shoulders and remove my shirt. "Suit yourself."

Unfortunately, or not unfortunately, all my sleepwear was skimpy and risque. Good for sex, bad for staying at a pervert's house. On the bright side...Yuki would see me in it. Yup, I feel better now.

As soon as I've changed into my black silk nightgown and kitten knee highs, Uo is in her Pajamas and scampering downstairs to work on her "gift" for Kyo. Hana and Tohru are both fixated on the movie so I set to work on my own prank.

What would be a good one for Haru...?

I could misplace his rings? Nah, he'd just shrug it off and buy some more.

I could prank call him, pretending to be Rin. But that's so cruel...

Hmm...

Wait a sec, I've got it!

XxX

A little bit after the guys eat dinner that Tohru prepared beforehand, Kyo volunteers to do the dishes. Not because he's some sort of domestic homemaker - although its always possible - but because he wanted to impress sweet little Tohru. Little did he know, he would be getting more than he bargained for.

Tohru was upstairs and starting a K-Drama while the three of us were lying in wait. We're poised around the corner, out of Kyo's line of sight, as he finishes with the dishes. Apparently, Kyo craves milk like my Mom craves gum. So, he's essentially a crackhead. So Uo devised a plan that would make him regret his predictable ways.

Just as expected, Kyo slings the dishtowel over his shoulder, and retrieves a glass from the drying rack. With an agitated sigh, he trudges to the fridge, and yanks it open in search of his soon-to-be worst nightmare.

He glances down at the glass, then thinks better of it, and pops the carton open; tilting his head back. Uo can barely contain her laughter as he guzzles what he thinks is milk. It's mere seconds before he pauses and his face contorts and twists. He spits the liquid out of his mouth and scrubs as his tongue with his free hand. "Ugh! What kind of psycho put mac and cheese mix in the milk carton? Where'd they even get that crap?!"

Uo and I burst out laughing, shamelessly forfeiting our hiding place. Even Hana smiles at the successful execution and Kyo's flushed, angry face. He tosses the carton into the sink and storms off, smacking Uo and I on the head on his way out. "Stupid chicks...there's too many of them in this house..." he mutters under his breath as the back door shuts behind him.

Right now we'd revel in a job well done. Then we'll get back at him for hitting us. It was bound to happen.

* * *

 **Peace out!**

 **No Strings Attached Chapter 18 And 19 Coming Soon!**


	3. Below Zero

**Hello my children.**

 **Because apparently, I adopted you.**

 **I'm very sad to say that I'm planning to rest up from writing everything somewhere between two weeks to a month and a half. It really hurts that I can't do it at this moment. Kind of like a singer that can't perform because they wore out their voice. Because I'm craving it right now, and want so badly to share all the stories I have planned for you all.**

 **But because of the fact I never took a proper rest after writing 35k+ words for No Strings Attached, The Nutcracker with a week in between (while sick), starting Stockholm approximately two weeks after and other projects I have yet to disclose...I've gotten burnt out. And its pretty awful.**

 **The point of posting this is not for sympathy or to just whine about what's been going on this week and the last. But to explain to you all that I am still very much alive, and I have not left this site. The story below is something that I wrote years ago - when I was still TohruKyoYuki - and took down because of the quality and the language. I used to have the mouth of a sailor, ya'll don't even know. But I figured it can be something we laugh at together, and its means of you guys getting writing from me in the meantime as I'm getting refreshed and can give you my all for the upcoming projects.**

 **I might post other things I've been working on in secret if something else comes up and I'm still unable to create new chapters/stories. Its entirely up to you all.**

 **None the less, I hope you all enjoy this 'blast from the past.'**

 **(Why did I say that? The heck? xD)**

 **And I'm still available to PM, review, and be there if ya need me.**

 **I miss creating for you guys already, but I'm excited to hopefully give you a murder mystery, the final chapter of Incognito, the upcoming chapters of Stockholm Syndrome, a Fruits Basket adaptation, a Kyo one-shot, and some Naruto fanfics that I've been wanting to post for the longest.**

 **I love you all, and I hope to be back better than ever. ^_^**

* * *

 **Below Zero**

 **Chapter One: Big Pill to Swallow**

Hatori threw his doctor coat over the back of his chair and collapsed.

He couldn't even begin to say how thankful he was for a break. These days, he seemed to be working nonstop.

If it wasn't Akito, it was always a fleet of people that didn't listen to doctor's orders and wound up with a cold

Now he was about to see his last patient of the day; he agreed to it for Tohru's sake. She was a friend of his, after all.

A girl stepped into his office, a dark purple cloak draped around herself. Her ghastly pale skin tone and mystic, dark, purple eyes were striking. She was an unconventional beauty, cloaked in mystery.

He couldn't help but wonder what he had gotten himself into.

"I apologize for making a last minute appointment. My doctor was unable to see me today. Tohru told me you had an opening," She droned, emotionless eyes pinpointing him with a stare.

"Yes, right this way."

She climbed up and onto the patient bed, and waited patiently as Hatori searched his drawers for his instruments.

"Are you here for a checkup or something else in particular?" Hatori pulled out his stethoscope and placed it to her chest, moving it as he listened to her slow beating heart.

"A regular checkup, my parents insisted." The girl reported, her eyelashes fluttering almost imperceptibly.

The man was good looking, like any of the other Sohmas; a black tuft of hair covered one of his emerald green eyes, dark against his stoic gaze. He sounded calculating...cold.

She felt waves of exhaustion and sadness come off him, but something else she hadn't felt before.

 _'Interesting, I must investigate this further'..._

"Everything seems to be in order. Do not worry about payment. I explained to Tohru that the visit is on me."

Saki stood before him, staring deeply into his eyes. Hatori searched the purple depths of hers trying to find some source of emotion, but finding the effort to prove in vain, for he came up empty.

"You must be very kind. Thank you for the visit...I might have to come back again some time." And with that, the girl was gone.

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Just What the Doctor Ordered**

It was a friday night and Tohru had invited both Arisa and Saki over for yet another sleepover.

Saki ran her hand along the chestnut wood of her armoire. Opening it she was greeted with a soft creak and searched for an outfitt.

If others saw her wardrobe they would know black was the only color she owned. She didn't feel comfortable in any other color.

Slipping on a long black skirt, a black blouse with purple hues and a bow, and her dark purple cloak.

Saki decided to let her hair down out of her braid and looked herself over.

She couldn't help but think back to that doctor.

It had been two weeks since their meeting, but his waves seemed to plaque her mind. She desired to know more about this man and his waves.

* * *

Hatori leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. Throughout the whole day he couldn't keep his mind off of Kana. The past two weeks he had kept himself busy with Akito and other patients. But now that he had a free moment he mistakenly allowed his mind to wander.

"You know if you frown too often, your face will get stuck like that." Hatori glared at the source of the voice.

The dog stood before him. He was already having a wonderful day, why not make make it better with a visit from Shigure?

"What do you want?" Hatori gritted out harshly peering at the mutt.

"Oh nothing." He sang. "Just wanted to know if you wanted to stay the night, highschool girls are coming!" Shigure giggled resulting in Hatori flinging his pen at the perverted man.

"Ouch Ha'riiii!"

"I'm still mulling over the fact they haven't locked you up yet." Hatori said as his eyes began to droop.

"You look worn out and I figured you could use some fun! At least come for Yuki, he needs his check-up." Shigure pouted and since the dragon was too tired to protest he grabbed his coat and followed after Shigure. _He better not be up to his old antics_ Hatori thought sleepily.

* * *

"Hey Tohru." Arisa ruffled the brunette's hair as she and Saki both stepped in.

"Yes, hello Tohru."

"Hi Hana and Uo!" The girl beamed and rushed into the kitchen at the sound of the hissing tea pot.

The two girls sat down at the kotatsu and waited patiently for their "daughter" to bring them the warm beverage.

"Sorry it took so long." Tohru smiled softly pouring the drink into three cups.

"Don't sweat it. Hey where's orange-top? I was looking forward to beating him in another game of rich man poor man." Arisa glanced around the room and they all jumped at the shout.

"Yeah right in your dreams yankee!"

"Oh yeah, stop being a pussy and lets play right now."

"Shut up damn bitch!"

Arisa snatched him forward, "Want to say that again?"

Tohru waved her hands frantically at the fight brewing while Saki sipped her tea calmly.

She couldn't help but smile...The doctor was coming.

* * *

"Hello we're homeeeee! Ahh what has my lovely flower prepared for us this evening?" Shigure's voice rang throughout the house and Hatori restrained himself from choking his old friend.

"Hatori! I didn't know you were coming, I would have made more food." Tohru bowed several times following a string of apologies.

"Its quite alright Tohru, I ate a sandwhich from the vending machine. I'm here to give Yuki his checkup."

"Oh but thats no good! You need a proper meal, be right back!" She pumped her fist and disappeared into the kitchen once again.

Hatori made his way into the living room and observed the scene.

Kyo was being strangled by Arisa, Yuki was boredly waiting on the food, Shigure was read a smut novel, and the strange girl was looking up at him.

Their eyes locked and he felt a chill run down his spine, as if his thoughts were being invaded. The girl smiled slightly before turning back around.

 _Just as I thought_...Saki smiled to herself.

* * *

After dinner everyone was beginning to wind down. Turns out Tohru had prepared a feast and everyone was too tired to do much else.

Yuki had already gone to bed, Kyo left to the roof, Shigure disappeared into his study, Tohru and Arisa were both asleep on the floor in front of the table. Saki and Hatori were the only ones still awake. The two were washing dishes.

"How are you feeling?" Hatori placed a soapy dish into the sink and began to scrub the silverware.

"I'm doing well." Saki cooly responded.

They were silent for awhile until she finally broke the silence.

"Is it alright if you become my regular doctor? My parents do not trust the one I had before." She turned towards him.

"...I suppose. Its not my place but..."

"You wish to know why the sudden change." Saki finished and he nodded.

"Change is good every now and then. There are things I need to know more about...My other doctor was quite uninteresting, you on the other hand have the most delightful waves."

Hatori looked down at her in shock.

"We finished. I think it is time we both rested don't you?" Hatori shook his thoughts a way and grunted in response. And the two did just that.

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Getting to Know You**

Hatori continued to toss and turn on his futon. There was no point in sleeping, everytime he allowed himself to fall asleep he was jolted awake with a nightmare. He swiped the sweat from his brow and tried to ease his breathing.

Finally he stepped out into the hallway and made his way to the kitchen. He didn't think he would run into the strange girl again. She was sitting at the table reading one of Shigure's books and sipping tea.

"You are welcome to sit." Saki said without looking up and Hatori made his way over and did so.

She closed the novel and looked in his direction. "Penny for your thoughts?...Something is troubling you, I can tell."

He looked up at her and felt it again...That chill. "I see no reason to burden you with my problems."

"It is no trouble at all Doctor Sohma." She smiled slightly before lifting the cup to her lips. "Would you like some?"

He shook his head and gazed curiously at the girl in front of him. There was something about her he couldn't quite place. He felt a sense of familiarity, warmth...Yet she still appeared cold. Not as cynical as he, but she wasn't that content either.

"You need to let go."

Hatori cocked his head slightly, puzzled at her statement.

"You need to free yourself of the past. The only way you can do so is if you forgive yourself. It was not your fault." She had instinctively reached out and placed her hand over his before he yanked his own back.

What was she talking about?

"That is none of your concern...I do not know how you are able to know exactly what I am thinking. But I would ask that you stop." He said coldly.

She stared down at her hands holding the tea cup. She exhaled softly before saying, "I apologize..."

And with that statement she left closing the door behind herself.

Saki covered a lot of ground for having just left the house moments ago. She was already in town. It wasn't what he said to her that bothered her. It was what she discovered of him. He somehow erased a woman's memory. A woman he loved with all of his heart. She didn't know how and she didn't know why. But she knew when this...Kana left, she took his heart with her.

Not looking up, too distracted by the blood rushing in her ears for her to notice Saki found herself right outside the Sohma estate.

She had no idea how she ended up there but felt it was meant to be...Something lead her here. Whether it was the denpa, or maybe fate. She did not know the answer.

"Miss Hanajima." Saki turned to face Hatori who was behind her panting. He must have followed her the entire time. She couldn't find her words, for some reason she couldn't talk. She felt a presence nearby that appeared threatening. The lack of control this person caused was indescribable. She needed to leave. But where could she go this early in the morning?

"Would I be able to stay with you for the night?" He was taken aback at the sudden request. It was late...But bringing her here, the place Akito resided. The dark estate that seemed to draw unsuspecting victims into its depths, instilling fear in those that came across it. Should he bring her into this?

Sighing Hatori grabbed her by the hand and lead her inside and to his home. Pushing open the door and flicking on the lights Saki took in everything she could.

The room itself was very dull, no color in sight. Nothing personal lied around, it was professional much like his office. His office had one personal item and that was a picture of Kana on his desk. Other than that it was like no one lived here.

"You are more than welcome to take the bed, I will sleep on the couch. Let me know if you need anything." Hatori said as he brought out a few pillows and a blanket for himself. Saki found the immaculate bedroom and sat on the side of the bed. All she saw were the four white walls, the grey sheets, and two grey pillows.

She wasn't fond of color herself but had an inkling there was more to it than that. She slipped under the covers and made herself comfortable before drifting off into a restless sleep.

It wasn't long before she had the dream. It hadn't bothered her for almost a year, but here she was.

The dream was of herself when she was younger and the boy...The boy that seemed to be so full of hatred.

 _"You're a witch! You know that! All you do is wear black, and have that creepy look in your eyes. You know what witches eat?...Newts!" He exclaimed as he dangled once in her face howling with laughter. Saki shut her eyes, he never left her alone. He was always making fun of her and she hated it._

 _I Wish he would die! Then he would leave me alone! He should die! Saki's thoughts screamed just before the boy fell to the ground in agony. The pain in his voice that rang in her ears until he slipped into unconsciousness._

This was when she woke up. What she hadn't expected was for Hatori to be holding her, while keeping his distance.

Saki looked up at the man briefly before turning around and sobbing into his shirt. She hated how weak she appeared. She tried so hard to break away from this grip her past had on her. She sat there and cried into the doctor's shirt soaking it with her tears, all the while breathing in his masculine scent. A scent that was his, a scent that eventually lulled her into a peaceful sleep.

Hatori had no idea why he felt to console her. He hadn't been this close to anyone since Kana. He didn't even know Saki but he knew how it felt to have a nightmare. He knew what it felt like to be stricken with pain that the dream had caused. For he only had one a few hours ago, but he knew she needed this. Afterwards the girl would hopefully forget as would he. This moment will have never happened, he doesn't need to care for anyone else. They would strictly have a doctor patient relationship. Nothing more, nothing less. Anyone he cared for wound up hurt and he wouldn't allow it to happen again.

And even so the girl was seventeen, he was twenty-seven. The age difference between them would never be overlooked. There was also Akito to be worried about. There was no reason to even think this, he didn't have feelings for the psychic and she didn't for the doctor. Nothing to worry about...Right?

* * *

 **Chapter Four: I'll be Damned**

Saki's eyes fluttered open softly and she felt heat rise to her cheeks. She was confused as to why she felt flushed.

Pushing the thought away, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and rose to her feet. She was only able to stand for a mere five seconds before her legs buckled underneath her.

Falling to the ground, she heard footsteps padding over and looked up to see Hatori towering above her. He crouched down and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead.

"You have a fever." He grabbed her arm and helped her back to the bed and pulled the covers up over her. Switching into doctor mode Hatori rushed off to his office to retrieve his doctor's bag.

When she had left Shigure's the night before, they both wound up in the freezing rain. He was surprised neither of them had pneumonia, then again he had been wearing a coat as he followed Saki.

Returning he rummaged through the back bag and pulled out a stethoscope. He listened to her heartbeat, took her temperature, blood pressure, and gave her an injection.

"Would you like soup? I have miso." She nodded and he left to prepare it.

Entering the room, Hatori carried a tray with the bowl of soup, a glass of water, and a cool rag. He sat down on the bed in front of her and placed the rag over her forehead. Then he inquired if she had enough strength to feed herself.

He took the silence as a no and began to spoon-feed Saki. Afterwards he tilted her head back and made sure she finished the entire glass of water, and gave her the dose of cold medication.

"Let me know if you need anything more." He made it a few steps before the girl latched onto his wrist.

"Please...Stay." Saki croaked before a fit of coughs followed. Hatori complied and pulled up a chair in front of the bed. As soon as he did so, she found his hand once again.

"Your hands are cold..." She sighed softly. "They do not have to be." Shortly after that statement Saki drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Hatori stood and walked out shutting the door quietly before collapsing at his desk.

Why? Why did he care for this girl. Maybe because he cares for all of his patients? But not on this level. Possibly because of her relations to Tohru? But he doesn't feel the same about Arisa. What was it about this girl...Something that drew him to her, like a moth to a flame.

Hatori found himself comparing her to Kana. They were nothing alike. One was cheery whereas the other appeared stoic. One became frantic easily while the other remained passive. He ran his hand through his hair in annoyance. Why must he put himself through the torture of one-sided feelings? If anything she might grow to see him as a father, he was ten years older. Hatori certainly didn't feel love seeing how they met two weeks ago. But he was taken with the mysterious girl.

This would be a secret all to himself. He liked Saki Hanajima, no one else needed to know. He could keep this all to himself. This made him almost want to smile. No worries of rejection or Akito being involved. He would be the only one that knew of his own feelings. He'd be damned if Akito, or Ayame, or Shigure found out.

Hatori left his number on the nightstand next to Saki's sleeping form, and left to tend to Akito.

* * *

Saki woke up with a start. The dream she had was confirming her suspicions. It was a vivid dream, one that felt real. One that she wouldn't repeat.

She could barely believe it, but she sensed her feelings for the man back to where they first met. Maybe she was merely attracted to him at the time, but now they were becoming actual feelings of infatuation and admiration. If she really cared to admit, lust was mixed in with those feelings. Every Sohma was beautiful, Hatori was no exception.

Glancing over she squinted her eyes at the slip of paper. It had numbers scrawled on it in doctor's handwriting. Even still she was able to distinguish what was written. It must have been in case she needed something.

Ignoring it, Saki once again tried to roll herself out of bed. This time she could stand. Question was whether she was able to walk or not.

Placing one foot in front of the other she slowly reached the bathroom and figured he wouldn't mind if she showered.

* * *

Hatori was glad to be home at last. Ayame had made a surprise visit after he took care of Akito.

"You must come to my shop! I have recently made new selections that would fit your personality. I can only hope my designs can hold a candle to your dazzling looks." Ayame practically yelled to which Hatori covered his ears.

He managed to drag him off for two hours before finally escaping when Shigure entered the shameful place.

All Hatori wanted to do now was go to bed, that is until he remembered his house guest.

"I need a shower first." He mumbled tiredly and pushed open the bathroom door. How he wished she hadn't been so sick she forgot to lock it.

He quickly shut the door his face actually flaming red. This only proved what he was afraid of. Normally a doctor would have no problem looking at someone's body. After all it was just an anatomical structure, it was required to run diagnostics on the person. However he never had a patient he liked beyond a professional level.

Hatori escaped to his office and shut the door, rubbing his temples. "Damn it."

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Drunken Nights Lead to Deadly Confessions**

Tohru was running around the room in a panic. "Where's Hana-chan? She disappeared! Hatori-san too! Oh no!"

Shigure covered his mouth with the sleeve of his kimono as he stifled a giggle.

"What are you laughin at?" Kyo bit into his riceball angrily.

"Find somethin funny about our best friend, and your cousin being missing?" Arisa swung the lead pipe in her hand threateningly. Shigure sweatdropped and backed away until he reached his study. Lifting up the black phone he dialed Ayame's number.

"I was thinking she would look much better in a gothic-lolita styled maid's outfit." Mine pushed her glasses up with her forefinger and awaited Ayame's opinion until a phone interrupted them. "I will be just a moment, would you mind going into the closet and bringing out black and white cotton and silk materials. That was a lovely idea. Helloooo!" Ayame sang as he picked up the phone.

"Oh Aya, your voice is like music to my ears." Shigure giggled and Ayame pressed his hand to his heart.

"Oh Gure' its you. It breaks my heart when you don't call me so often." Shigure feigned despair, "It hurts me deeply when you do not visit me... But I need to tell you something. Hatori seems to have found a new woman in his life... Or girl rather."

Ayame froze as he words sunk in before smiling brightly. "I'm so glad he has found strength to move on. I know he loved her and most likely still does, but I just have no sympathy for a someone who puts Tori' through the heartache and suffering he has endured. So, who is the lucky maiden?" He placed his hand on his hip and Shigure chuckled on the other end.

"I would say his tastes have changed drastically, he has the hots for a highschool girl. Go Tori' and to think I'm the dog."

"Oh my! Who is this girl, I simply have to meet the one who has been able to thaw Hatori's frozen heart." Ayame gestured for Mine to bring him the new order that just came in.

"Saki Hanajima, a friend of Tohru's. She a psychic according to Kyo. She is rather strange but you know what I say. Que sera, sera." Shigure twirled his finger.

"Of course! I must be going now, Mine is begging for my attention. Don't hesitate to call, I will always be available for you _Gure'_." Ayame said huskily.

"Anything for you _Aya_." Was Shigure's sultry reply.

* * *

Saki knocked on Hatori's office door. She wished to know why a doctor would be embarassed by a human's naked body. She felt a wave of self consciousness crash over her. Did she not meet his standards? Did he not like the way she looked.

Hatori pried the door open and came face to face with the "object of his desires." He allowed his eyes to travel down and he sighed with relief to see her fully clothed. But it took a few moments to register she was wearing _his_ white button up shirt, and a pair of _his_ slacks.

"I hope you do not mind, but I had to borrow a change of clothes in order to prevent pneumonia." Hatori just nodded and tried to maintain his ordinary composure. His mind was drifting off into fantasies. He liked the fact she was wearing his clothes. He found it very sexy and wanted to be the one to remove them.

He quickly ripped tissue out of its holder and pressed it to his nose before blood was able to spurt out. 'I've been around Shigure far too long.'

"Aren't you supposed to tilt your head back?" Saki quirked an eyebrow and Hatori shook his head.

"If you do so, blood runs down your throat and you end up choking. If it is enough you wind up regurgitating." Saki nodded and cocked her head curiously at the doctor.

She couldn't help the sideways smile that found its way on her face, she knew he had been imagining her. It made her feel lighter knowing he returned her feelings.

A thought came to his mind. "Aren't you supposed to sick...and in bed?"

"Do you desire to join me?" Saki smiled smugly and Hatori rushed to get more tissues. Did she really say that?

Saki decided why not have fun with this. "I actually am feeling significantly better."

"Very well. If you gather your things I will take you home." Hatori tossed the tissues into the trash before sterilizing his hands.

"I have an idea that might appeal to us both." Hatori followed Saki out of curiosity into his kitchen.

"While you were in your office I had time to explore. I found this." Saki opened his cabinet where he kept wine, champagne, and _sake_. She grabbed the sake and found the glasses.

"...You are underage. I wouldn't expect a sick person to be drinking anytime soon." Hatori walked over and watched as she poured the glasses for the two of them.

"Correction I am beginning to feel better." She lifted up her glass and waited for him to do the same. Saki clinked hers to his and downed it in one gulp. Hatori had to give it to her, she could hold her liquor. He wondered how often she did drink. He followed suit, it was a Saturday and it was after hours.

"Ok thats enough-" His words died on his lips as Saki poured another set. He was beginning to think she had him wrapper around her finger.

* * *

"H-Hanajima." Hatori sputtered. "We had enoughhh." His voice was slurring now, he wasn't as intoxicated as she.

"Say my name." She whispered and sat on his lap, even in his drunken stupor he ensured the kept their distance.

"That'd be innapropriate. I cannot condone that." Saki rolled her eyes before planting a kiss on his jawbone.

"Hatori. It izzz easy. Please." She pecked his nose and captured his lips with her own.

"Sa-Saki." He moaned and she smiled triumphantly.

He dove down and placed light kisses up and down her neck before applying more pressure. He bit her neck softly and she elicited another moan.

She got to work unbuttoning his maroon vest and slipped it off along with his doctor's coat. He froze, in the back of her mind she feared he was beginning to enter sobriety.

"Don't stop now...I like you. A lot, I never get to see this side of you." Before he could say anything more, before he allowed himself to decline her request. His hands seemed to move on their own and he unbuttoned the shirt she was wearing. He kissed her now bare shoulders and she laughed and was amazed at how it felt.

They tossed the remainder of their clothing to the floor before they were left only in their underwear. It wasn't enough to satisfy her, she pulled him against her chest and with a poof and a puff of smoke Hatori seemed to disappear.

Saki looked around until she heard a squeak from the floor. The doctor was now replaced with a seahorse.

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Cherish You**

Saki cupped her hands and lifted Hatori up so she was looking him in the eyes.

"H-Hatori?" All that could be heard was the buzzing of the lights, if he were in human form his face would have seemed like it aged ten years. They were both slowly growing sober but didn't even realize the dull headache coming on. Hatori looked down ashamedly.

"..." Before he could say anything he transformed back. He quickly changed and Saki looked elsewhere.

"You can look now." They both stared into eachother's eyes, telling the other person to say something.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that..."

"I did't mind but I sense that I was never supposed to find out." Hatori's face contorted with worry before shaking it clear.

"I will need to discuss this with Akito, the head of my family...You reacted differently than I anticipated." Saki smiled slightly.

"You didn't know? I am quite fond of sea animals." Hatori snorted at this.

"Its...Humiliating...I am supposed to transform into dragon." Saki peered at him knowingly.

"But something happened, that is why it is a smaller creature appearance wise."

"My family the twelve members of the chinese zodiac and the cat. Whenever we come in close contact with the opposite sex we transform as you witnessed tonight...Yuki is the rat, Shigure the dog, Kyo is the cat. Shigure believes that since I only transform into a measly seahorse it is a sign of the curse weakening" Saki was silent for a few moments before smiling, a genuine smile.

"I think other than the fact you cannot be physically close to someone, it is not as bad as you percieve it to be. It is something that sets you apart from the rest. Just as I am a psychic, once you have a person to show you the good in yourself...You would be surprised at how differently one sees themself."

Hatori gazed at her seeing her in a different light.

Saki was serious most of the time, yes. She hardly smiled around others. If you were graced with this side of her you were lucky. Hatori felt a sense of pride now knowing he was one of them.

He made the mistake of glancing up and saw the picture of Kana sitting on his desk.

Everything came crashing down. The high he felt was diminished. How could he forget? He was now bringing Saki into this. He loved Kana deeply, he could never forget. She saw him in his zodiac form, she was more worried about the type of water to put him in rather than the fact he was a seahorse.

The two had been happy together, she had shone light into the dark recesses of his heart. The pain he felt by his family never wanting to bring anyone close to them around Hatori, afraid he would steal their memories.

They were both fine until they announced their engagement to Akito. He smashed a vase against Hatori's left eye, every day since he would blame Kana. He said that it was her fault, she believed it from the moment the words left his lips. As the days went on she would always apologize until she was physically ill. One day Hatori put her out of her misery and made her forget. He was left to suffer alone, devoured by his own despair.

Kana was betrothed, he declined the invitation. He was afraid him making an appearance would bring the memories back tenfold. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he allowed that to happen.

He couldn't do the same to Saki.

Hatori disappeared into his room and came back with Saki's clothes from the night before.

"Change and I will take you home. I will inform everyone you were under my care and ensure them you are alright. When you get there make sure you take pain killers to help relieve some of the pain from being hungover."

Saki followed him out the door in silence. He wouldn't meet her eyes, she knew why.

The car ride was silent other than her giving him directions.

She watched as he drove off into the night and swore to herself right then.

I promise to cherish you Hatori. I promise to make you the kind, lovely, gentle man I know you to be. I prove to us both that there is more to life than we both believe.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Upside-Down Perspective**

No matter how hard she tried, Saki couldn't pay attention to the lesson.

Her thoughts were drifting back to the man she was taken with, as if she were a normal highschool girl daydreaming about her crush. She knew she should focus because she failed her last exam but today it was nearly impossible.

She felt someone nudge her shoulder breaking her thoughts.

"Hey Saki you alright?" Arisa asked. Tohru was standing there, hands clasped together her eyebrows knitted together in concern.

She nodded before they followed her to their usual grassy area for lunch. While everyone else were conversing, she allowed herself to zone out before the yankee waved her hand in front of the dazed purple eyes.

"...I think I need to rest." And with that statement Saki left for the nurses's office. On her way she ran into Hatori but thankfully she wasn't close enough for him to transform.

"Miss Hanajima." He glanced around looking to see if anyone saw the two of them together.

"Would you like to go somewhere private?" Hatori appeared to be debating with himself, after five minutes of the internal struggle he took her up on the offer.

They both left to the parking lot and sat in his car silently for a few moments before he spoke.

"I came to drop Hatsuharu off at school...He was wandering around the woods late at night and overslept..." Saki nodded and stared out the window, Hatori looked over at her taking in her appearance.

Saki began to wear her hair down more often, and it fell in soft waves. Something he found particularly interesting was the black nail polish for a reason unknown to him.

"My nails are black because they represent the sins I have comitted." He jumped, and he slowly remembered she was psychic.

She turned back to look at him with what looked like a slightly hurt expression. "And here to think, I felt you were here because you wished to see me."

His adam's apple jerked up and down he looked down warily. "We...We are not together..."

"...But you are my doctor." A small smile lit up her face briefly and he as well.

"I...I had hoped I would see you." He rephrased sheepishly and Saki smiled wider this time.

"I missed your company."

"And I, yours. But-"

"We can't be together, I realize...But may I ask you something personal?"

He nodded and gulped nervously.

"If she had not entered your life, would you have not cared who saw us together? Or is it this...Akito that will always keep us apart?"

Hatori sat still for a few minutes before the hoarse reply, "Yes...But I would still be protective of you...You should head to class, the bell rang."

Saki blinked before a sly smile appeared, "I feel under the weather, I suppose I didn't fully recover after all. Could you fit in another appointment today?" He shook his head exasperatedly before turning the key in the ignition.

"...Buckle up..." He said gruffly and she did as asked before he drove off. In the back of his mind he knew there would be hell to pay, but he decided to abandon all reason and go with it. Little by little she was affecting him in more ways than she realized. She was significantly different from Kana. For some reason he couldn't stay away from Saki.

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: Forget Me Not**

Once we reached Hatori's house I immediately smiled. Taking in the sights that I had missed, longed and yearned for even though it was only yesterday since I saw it last. I actually began to love the monochromatic colors his house was ridden with, it reflected the stoic persona that was Hatori when he was all business. However I felt something missing.

"What would you say if I add something?" Hatori quirked a brow in puzzlement at my sudden question. I pondered for a moment before it came to me. I unclasped the necklace I had always adorned. The one no one else knew about. The gem itself that of an amethyst, it wasn't too grand but it was something I had always loved. I asked Hatori to lean forward and I added the necklace and concealed it underneath his shirt.

"Now you Hatori will exude the personality that is truly yours. Serious yet beautifully loving. Do not worry, you don't have to wear it if you do not wish." Hatori gazed at me in surprise for a few moments before slowly approaching me until I was backed into a wall. He leaned forward boxing me in with both of his hands and I stared back into his emerald green eye. He captured my own lips in a simple, chaste kiss before smiling softly.

"...I will wear it. But only if you promise me one thing." I smiled up at him challengingly.

"Yes."

"...You must promise me once you leave here today...You will not feel sad if you do not speak to me. And that you will forget me. I don't want Akito to hurt you." Before I could protest he stopped my words with another peck.

"Please...Miss Hanajima." I shook my head, words beginning to fail me. He still did not understand. I was aware of the consequences but it wasn't me he was protecting. At least not entirely. He was also protecting himself. He didn't believe that I would keep thinking about him. So sure of himself I would wind up meeting another man outside of school. It wasn't fair to me and it was not fair to him.

"What if I were to not agree. What if I don't promise?" He sighed and stood back. I closed the distance once more.

"We will go through this together. It surely won't be easy but I'm not willing to give up on something that is only beginning and yet it is already making me better. It is physically impossible for me to forget you on my own and I know you wouldn't erase my memory...Right?"

He looked away ashamedly and I cupped his cheek. "Because...I want to be with you Hatori."

* * *

Later in the afternoon Hatori and Saki both stood in the kitchen preparing to cook a dinner for the two. The two worked dilligently but without words. Hatori was processing the words exchanged between the two earlier and Saki was doing the opposite, focusing on everything but what they discussed. In doing so she accidentally grazed her finger with a knife while chopping scallops.

She hissed in pain and Hatori rushed over to her side in a panic. Once realizing the situation he mentally slapped himself feeling silly for worrying so much. He lead her into his bathroom where he kept the first aid kit. After rinsing out the wound he applied antestheptic and wrapped her cut with a bandage. He held her hand to his chest and seemingly stared at his feet. Saki was curious as to why he exuded with sorrow and worry until he looked her in the eyes for the first time since their talk.

"I might be making the biggest mistake I have made but...I do want to be with you, Miss Hana- Saki. I'll figure something out." Saki shook her head, her heart fluttering as he placed a kiss on her knuckles.

"No. We shall figure it out together."

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: Do You Still Want Me?**

Saki entered the house later that evening. She used her collar to hide the bite marks that now adorned her neck. Hatori could be quite aggressive when he wanted to be. Saki found her brother sitting on her bed with a dead serious look in his eyes, the hairs on the nape of her neck stood on end.

"Megumi, why do you look so...Sullen?" The boy simply turned to face the window, that same dead look in his eyes as the sun went down. The shadows now looming over his face only catered to his already ominous expression.

Slowly he turned to face his sister. "Expect a visitor later today. There is no point in running, he'll find you where you are." And with that cryptic statement, Megumi left to his own sanctuary.

Saki was perplexed over the statement, and she knew that Megumi had to have been right. She trusted her brother more than anyone. He was usually known for cursing people, but an ability no one else knew about was his ability to predict events.

She lied down on her bed as the moon gently rose, the night quickly taking over. She turned and pulled the covers up to her nose. _Should she call Hatori? No, that would only make the situation worse if it was who she thought._

A sudden rapping on the front door shook her out of her nervous train of thought. The knocking seemed urgent, it must be her visitor. There was silent conversation until footfalls sounded just outside her door. The door flung open and a man towered in the doorway.

The waves coming off of him were nearly unbearable, the ones she felt outside the Sohma residence not long ago. They sent a chill up her spine although she tried to not show it. _This must be the one that hurt...Hatori...? Thats right. He did hurt him, didn't he?_ Now anger replacing her initial apprehension, Saki flung the covers off and approached the man only to be knocked to the floor.

She flinched at the sudden pain, before she had time to react, Akito snatched a fistful of hair in his fist. Saki cried out in pain only to be silence with a blow to the stomach. She lurched forward as misery set in, Akito didn't relent.

"Who do you think you are girl?! Interfering with one of my most reliable! And you know of the curse! Like I'd let you stay that way!" Akito howled as he threw her against the bookshelf, sending books crashing to the floor.

Megumi jumped on Akito's back and attempted to pit him in a Half-Nelson only to be thrown off himself. Megumi's head hit the door and passed out. At this, Saki's newfound strength caused her to drag her nails down his face.

Akito grabbed her arms in one hand and held them behind her back, with the other he delivered blow after blow until her face was nearly unrecognizable, and her nose broken. When he finished he left the house slamming the door shut. He had the perfect plan. Hatori would erase her memories. Just like he did Kana, he would learn this time!

* * *

The next day, Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, and Arisa arrived at school and noticed Saki's strange absence.

"Hey where's Hana?" Arisa trained an uncovered eye on Kyo. He looked as if he'd been slapped.

"Like I'd know ya yankee!" Arisa yanked him forward by his shirtfront.

"Wanna say that again, orangetop?"

"Please not now Miss Uotoni, its quite discerning that Miss Hanajima is absent. And she was acting differently yesterday," Yuki cut in.

"I hope she's all right!" Tohru clasped her hands together, tears shining in her eyes.

* * *

"Urgh." Saki groaned, her body ached. Everywhere. A familiar scent filled her nose. Peering through one of her very swollen eyes, she realized it was Hatori.

"Are you alright Saki?" She tried sitting up only to feel as if her ribs were constricting and twisting in knots. "I, I can't see very well or seem to sit up. Could you-" Saki bit her lip at the memory from last night. Akito knew. If asked for Hatori's help, he'd be in danger.

It took all she could to contort her face in an angry snarl, her voice came out low and rough,"I'm fine. I don't you need to help me. Leave me alone!" Hatori's expression stung. More emotions showed on his face than they did in years. Confusion...Anguish...Fear... _Remembrance_.

"Saki, I need to look you over-"

"And don't call me that! You have no right. And I will find a new doctor. Now leave!"

"Sa- Miss Hanajima. Who- Did Akito-sama do this to you? I-"

"OUT!" Saki yelled, her voice hoarse. Hatori reached for his bag still in a daze, he turned on his heel on and left.

Saki looked over to see Megumi coming to slowly, rubbing his head. Saki crawled over and pulled him to her tightly, not caring for the pain. And in that moment, Saki did something she hadn't in a long time...

She cried.

* * *

 **Chapter Ten: Breaking Point**

Hatori stepped into Akito's chambers for his regular checkup. This time, the air seemed to be heavier and more suffocating than usual. The room carried an ominous, leery atmosphere that would have unerved anyone had it not been someone like Hatori. Or Kureno.

Oh but this time, Hatori was angry although he tried to not show it. Hatori approached the head and bowed in greeting as per usual.

"Akito-sama." Hatori muttered through clenched teeth. He hadn't felt this angry since Kana. No. He felt enraged. Saki was just a girl! She didn't deserve to be dragged into this miserable place Hatori barely endured. He had been selfish and now Saki was paying the price. He should have paid his dues. Then maybe, Saki wouldn't be hurt. Maybe her brother wouldn't be collateral damage.

"Hatori...I am a man of patience. And my patience, has about run out. My favor only goes so far, even for you Dragon." Akito stood, and swept his kimono over his feet. He was even more ghostly pale than usual. "I was sure you learned your place. After what happened with _that woman_."

Hatori gripped his trousers to the point of his knuckles turning white. "Kana." Hatori corrected lowly.

Akito spun on him, he narrowed his eyes daringly. "What?"

This was the moment. Hatori had to speak up, or back down.

Hatori felt like he would finally do what he wanted this time. He had been mentally preparing since he left Saki's house. He go in on Akito, and go off on a tangent about the unfair treatment he has dished out to everyone since the day they were born. The way Akito made everyone wish they hadn't been born. The way no one was allowed to love anyone but him.

So ready to say these things, Akito said one sentence that changed his mind completely. "I will allow the girl her memory, as long as you don't so much as acknowledge her existence any further." Hatori backed down. He cast his only good eye to the floor, he smoothed the wrinkles out from his pants with evident frustration. He always wanted to protect her. Now he could. She would never be hurt again...

But then, he would never be happy. Does it matter what Hatori wants? Why can't he have something? Why couldn't he keep someone?...Why couldn't he keep _her_?

"Yes Akito-sama." The words left a bad taste in his mouth, and the satisfied smirk only made his stomach churn.

"You may leave then. I feel fine, I plan to rest anyway." Akito headed to bed and Hatori left without bowing or anything. He escaped as soon as he could.

Upon entering his house, he realized it seemed colder than ever before. Checking the thermostat it read 74, so then why did it feel arctic?

The doctor kicked off his shoes rather than leaving them by the door, and got into bed without bothering to change. The smell hit his nose the instant he lied there. Her scent...

Saki smelled of rain, and roses. So odd for a girl like her. But it was amazing to him. He marvelled at the fact his cologne mixed in with the scent of his now former love. Saki...He missed her.

With a stabbing pain in his heart, Hatori shut his eyes and gripped the blanket tighter. He desperately seeked warmth.

But that night...He wasn't just colder than snow.

He felt colder than ever.

He felt as if the place had to have been below zero.

He managed to fall into a restful, disturbed sleep. Images of Saki being tortured by Akito flashed through his mind.

And being alone in that house, for the first time since Kana...A tear slid from his eye. Trapped. Even in his sleep, he had no escape.

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven: Passing Ships In The Night**

Hatori and Saki were apart for days...weeks...even _months._ There were as if passing ships in the night - traveling on separate path's never once intertwining. The venings dragged for both of them, they no longer had one another to keep company during the cold utmost chilly nights. They didn't see each other in the revealing light of day, they could risk it.

Saki had to protect Megumi and Hatori - in that order, Hatori had to keep Saki safe. Both so intent on keeping the other out of harm's way, they had to completely lay aside their own feelings...for the betterment of the other.

It was summer time - the first day of break.

Tohru and Arisa attempted to lure Saki out on countless occasions. How they longed for their friend to join them - she would instead make up excuses.

They didn't understand why she was this way. It bothered them that Saki wasn't letting them in on something about her, this never happened before.

Shigure, Ayame, and even the other Sohmas were puzzled by Hatori. One day out of the blue he'd begun smiling - the time he first began seeing Saki - and now a frown was permanently in place. Shigure and Ayame had their suspicions that the couple had broken up - but they carried on without mentioning it.

Every night tears slid down Saki's face - she would drape her dark purple cloak around her, craving a sense of normalcy and familiarity.

It did nothing for her, it certainly didn't compare to the comfort provided with the good doctor holding her.

The cloak felt heavy upon her shoulders, with each step she would take it felt more and more weighty than ever before.

Her feet dragged as she trudged around the house.

Megumi took notice of her emotional pain, he wanted to help her but didn't know how.

It was the second week of summer and Saki had already become stir crazy, her hair an unkempt mess - she no longer caring enough to keep up her appearance.

One day on the first day of July, there was a knock on the door.

Saki simply rolled over in her bed and pulled the covers up over her head.

There was the sound of footsteps sifting about and then her door creaked open.

"Go away Megumi." Her voice ragged. She didn't resent her brother, but she was so incredibly frustrated she didn't know what to do with herself anymore.

The bed sank down beside her.

 _He can tell the future but he can't take a hint?_

"I said-"

The covers were yanked back. Saki peered through her narrowed eyes - bright light flooding her vision.

And before her, a man - not a hallucination was smiling down at her.

It was Hatori.

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve: Meet Me In The Middle**

Saki's eyes flew open at what she still thought to be a mirage. Somehow and someway he wasn't really here right now. They weren't here together. It was impossible. But here he was, smiling as if he'd won the lottery and was gazing upon his earnings.

Hatori extends his palm in hopes of her taking it. He desperately wants to prove to her that he is really there, in the flesh. And that he wasn't there.

 _Take my hand._ He beckoned with a quirk of the eyebrow.

Saki shuts her eyes and reaches for him. They are together. He is here. He is _real_. There is no more denying it.

"What are you doing here?" The whispered inquisition passes her lips moments before he cuts it off with a kiss. He'd wanted to do that for so long. It had been so long since he last tasted her trust and reliance. The longest since he'd last caught her scent of rain and flowers. Forever ago since they'd last been intertwined.

He reluctantly pulls away and glances over his shoulder. He then turns back and leans in towards her - brushes his lips over her ear. A blissful sigh escapes her lips. It had been so long.

"I've decided to stop letting people make up my mind for me...I choose you Saki. For once in my life I am choosing my own happiness. I choose you over whatever Akito decides to do to me...I'm not usually this open...or informal. But I care for you a lot. And I'm done denying myself of that."

Saki shivers under the breath of his tantalizing words. They are alien to her. She is chosen over the familair...and the daunting. She was afraid to take this jump. She wanted to protect Megumi from somehow winding up in the cross-hairs. But in all this, she'd forgotten herself. Her own happiness. And for what?

To remain alive and keep her memories...but stay miserable all the time.

And suffer with the unquenchable desire of being near Hatori. Her doctor...friend...and love.

"What would he do to me?"

Hatori sighs and sinks down next to her. He wraps an arm around Saki's waist, keeping her close but not too close to transform. He places a kiss at the top of her forehead, once again drinking in her scent.

"Nothing...we're leaving here."

Saki also sighs, reality settling in. The dream of staying like this shattered. The moment dissipated.

"That won't work. You and I both know that."

Hatori chuckled softly, "Funny you should say that. I've booked us two one-way tickets to Europe. It would take some getting used to...but I think we'd be able to manage."

Saki nearly fell over in shock. Was he serious?

"Hatori...what about Megumi? Tohru? Arisa? How would we make it?"

"There are many miserable things that come with being a Sohma. But the upside is the fact we're loaded. Money wouldn't be an issue. As for your brother, why not bring him along with us? Or he can remain here with your parents."

Saki mulls this over for a few moments.

"Okay, but what if he tortures them looking for you?"

"Would you be willing to take that risk? To be selfish and go away for awhile...or would you rather stay here? Besides, i booked the tickets under a different name. Let's make a new name for ourselves in France...or Italy. He won't know what happened to you or me. As for your friends, its up to you to tell them or not tell them."

Saki jumps up and cracks the door open. She can just see her brother - sitting on the floor and silently playing solitare.

Saki turns back towards Hatori, torn between her two choices.

Happiness...or loneliness.

She sighs and glances into her closet, shoveling clothes into a suitcase as rapidly as possible.

"When do we leave?"


	4. The Arranged Marriage

**Here is an entry that might be...a bit more familiar to you guys. Its essentially the original Stockholm Syndrome, but different.**

 **Don't mind me, I'm just posting some old works. There shouldn't be more than two at a time so as to not spam you all.**

 **Reviews are _never_ required, but are always appreciated. This is all for you guys to get something from me - good or bad - until I'm completely back.**

 **Without further ado...**

* * *

 **The Arranged Marriage**

 **Chapter One: How It Began**

My name is Mi-Cha. I am a South Korean Model at the age of sixteen. I was first scouted back when I was only fourteen. My Mom and I would be constantly commuting for my work in Tokyo, Japan. Finally, at age fifteen, we decided to pack our bags and ship off to Tokyo. Permanently. I began attending Kaibara High school as a second year and am now beginning my third year at the school.

I met Tohru Honda last year and we've been tight ever since. I noticed she spent a lot of time around the Sohma boys, but I understood. Guys mean less drama.

Little did I know...

This afternoon Tohru and I were sleeping over at her friend's house - Arisa Uotoni. Saki was also in attendance. They both gave me the third degree when I first began hanging out with Honda. Long since then they warmed up to me and welcomed me into their circle. That sounds more creepy than I intended.

Anyways, Tohru discovered something about The Sohmas - they all transform into members of the Zodiac when hugged by the opposite sex. I know what you're thinking. Mi, what are you on? But I promise you its true.

But our current dilemma was the head of the family. Akito. He ruled the family with an iron fist. He despised anyone outside his family...even those within it - like Kyo.

Word got out that Tohru could not keep her memory unless she did him a favor. To marry the d-bag or forget all the Sohmas.

That is where I step in...this is how it began.

* * *

My phone buzzed, shaking my nightstand. I craned my head to see who could possibly be calling me _this_ early in the morning. It was 3am on a Saturday.

I glanced at my phone screen and caught sight of the picture of a smiling Tohru with cake frosting in her hair. I will never forget that birthday.

But that's beside the point. Why would she be calling? I hope she wasn't hurt!

I yanked the charger out of the phone and swiped my thumb across the screen to answer. I pressed the phone to my ear, my heart thudding and hammering in my chest.

"...Tohru?"

She didn't say anything. She sobbed into the other end.

"Tohru," I tried again. But she didn't respond. She just cried more.

"...I'm coming over."

And I did just that. The only one I would do this for would be my best friend.

I grabbed the keys to my Mom's car from her dresser and sped off towards Shigure's - pajamas and all.

After cutting the engine, I rushed up the porch and pounded on the front door.

"Tohru! Tohruuu!"

The door slammed open, a tired and red eyed Kyo glaring back at me.

Oh wait...his eyes were always that color.

"What are you doing here? If you're looking for that girly rat he's asleep. Haru's not here. Go flirt with someone else will ya-" he began closing the door until I managed to wedge my shoe between the door and forced it back open.

"Really Kyo? Why would I drag my butt out here at-" I glanced at my watch. "3:25 am just to jump someone's bones? Move."

Kyo crossed his arms smugly. "Well don't you _people_ operate at these hours?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed him aside. I'd beat him up later.

"Tohruuu," I hollered up the stairs.

I glanced back over at Kyo, "Do you know why Tohru would be crying? She called me this morning acting like someone died or something."

Kyo ducked his head, a shadow crossing his face. Kyo not speaking? Something _had_ to be wrong.

"...she found out something. You should just go home, leave her alone. She'll be fine soon."

I snorted and flipped my hair over my shoulder, "Please Kyo. Get out of here with that. I'm going to find out what's wrong with Tohru. Leave her alone my butt."

I shoved past him once more and finally made my way upstairs. I could hear Tohru's sobs from down the hallway. I wrenched the light pink door open and glanced inside the incredibly dark room. It was odd seeing such a bright and sunny room covered in darkness.

My eyes hadn't adjusted so I couldn't see where Tohru was. Eventually they did adjust and I could just make our her hunched over form on the floor. I knelt down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Tohru...you okay?"

She looked shocked to see me, a tear sliding out of her eye and dripping to the floor. I'd never seen her so sad before. Even after her Mom's death she hardly appeared sad.

"M-Mi...what are you-" her voice broke. And my heart broke with it. My dear sweet Tohru was like a sister to me. I felt so protective of her all the time and seeing her like this shattered my heart to pieces.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

Tohru cast her gaze to the floor, her eyes sullen and her face pale. "...I found out something that I'm not supposed to know."

"Yeah bonehead told me that downstairs."

She looked taken aback, as if I completely knew what she was talking about. "Then you know...about the curse."

"What?"

Realization flooded her eyes and her cheeks twinged pink. "Uh...you...you didn't know?"

I shook my head and she sighed, hunching down further.

"I called you to...be comforted...? I don't know. I just feel really lonely. I didn't want to tell you. I don't want your memories to be erased too!"

What the heck?

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Tohru, slow down. Curse...? Memories erasing? I mean - erasing memories?"

A grim look etched into her features, she bowed her head...and began.

Tohru spent the next ten minutes filling me in on the Sohma family burden.

"So this Akito claims you need to marry him in order to keep your memories. What kind of crap is that? Why would he- isn't it just better to forget it all?"

Tohru looked at me, dead serious. "No. I would be forgetting The Sohmas...maybe my parents...you. Arisa and Saki. I couldn't."

Oh right. I didn't think about that.

"Okay, why does he ask for your hand in marriage?"

Torhu pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin atop them, "He wants someone to...give him what only a wife can give. No one else chose to be with him so now-"

"He saw opportunity and took it. That is disgusting." What a sicko.

Tohru simply sighed as if this was the end for her.

"Yeah..."

I jumped to my feet, frustrated that she seemed so easily defeated. "So that's it? You're just gonna quit and accept this...? Well, I won't." I grabbed for my coat and fast-walked to the door.

"Wait - Mi, what are you doing?"

I glanced over at her, my features softening. "Saving you from this moron."

* * *

Snow covered the steps leading up to Akito's house within the Main Estate. The dark blue sky daunting and foreboding as if foreshadowing what would be my soon-to-be screwed up life.

I didn't even know him, but he probably liked loose women...don't most guys?

I ran a hand through my long black hair, swallowing any fear attempting to rise to the surface.

I rapped on the door and waited for what seemed like decades before the old geezer opened the door.

He looked like a total pedo. His eyes were this hideous soul raiding black; his skin so paper white it barely resembled something humane; he smelled of death and the metallic scent of blood covered him and wrapped around him like a vise. He just stared at me, probably wondering who the heck was at his door.

"Are you lost?"

I shuffled my feet and unbuttoned the top half of my coat. "I know about the curse...Akito. And in Tohru's stead I offer myself. If I marry you, she gets to keep her memories."

Akito didn't even seem to be all that surprised. It was like he knew. That was even worse.

He swayed the door back and forth, teetering between opening it and closing it...taunting me. A smirk found its way onto his stupid face as he pulled me towards him.

He placed his lips near my ear, "I accept."

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Gee Thanks**

"You look pretty stupid," Kyo quipped, as I spun around in front of the full length mirror. It had been a week since I'd officially agreed to marry Akito and we were announcing our engagement to the rest of the family tonight. I now donned the hideous wedding dress he sent over. It was more rags than dress; it was sleeveless, it barely reached my knees, and the train was something I found myself tripping over, constantly. I had to agree with the idiot that I did look incredibly ridiculous, but what could I do? I had to comply all the way down to the way I say 'I do.'

"Gee thanks Kyo, you're _real_ encouraging," I retored as I removed the veil.

Kyo snorted and crossed his legs at the ankles from where he stood, folding his arms across his chest.

"How do you plan to tell everyone?"

I heaved a sigh as I tossed the tattered veil aside. "I dunno...how's this? 'Hey Sohma family, I know we just met each other not too long ago, but I am about to marry the biggest jerk in existence, Akito. He and I are just so incredibly happy together so I hope you all accept our engagement,'" I concluded my mock speech bowing deeply at the waist, as if I were pleading for support.

Kyo merely rolled his eyes. "Yeah, _that'll_ work. How'd you get sucked into this mess anyway? You should have just walked away."

I turned toward the bristling cat, placing my hands on my hips, "And leave Tohru to fend for herself with that... _pervert?_ Heck no, she is far more important to me than my own freedom."

Kyo looked to be a cross between surprised, irritated, and impressed. "Doesn't your Mom care? Your Dad...? You never really talk about him."

Pain shot through me immediately at the mention of my Father. My shoulders tensed and I turned away to hide any telltale expression, "Of course I haven't brought him up. There's nothing really to tell."

The cat didn't take the hint and back off, he pressed on, "Seems like he bothers you by your reaction."

I shivered slightly and fiddled with the hem of my dress, "My Mom had me at fifteen and he ran for the hills as soon as he heard the news...like I said, nothing left to say." Before Kyo could look upon me with pity, I left and headed for Tohru's room to change out of the atrocious dress Akito forced upon me.

There was really no sense in talking about my Dad...I was doing just fine.

* * *

We were all gathered together in the dining room of the Sohma estate. The finest china and champagne was out on display; black roses befittingly swept the matching table cloth; the chairs were all hard and uncomfortable. Apparently he wanted to torture us early.

I sat at the table in between Tohru and Kyo. The other Sohmas were already seated around the table, all wondering why they were here. The only people that knew were Kyo and Tohru. I wasn't able to bring myself to tell Yuki I was to be bound to his worst nightmare.

Finally, the man of the hour entered. Malicious didn't even begin to describe the look permanently etched into place; his black hair shielded his deadly eyes, his pale skin glowing and bright, his clothes black and the air about him as eerie and ominous as to be expected from Akito.

Kisa averted her eyes, not being able to withstand his penetrating gaze. Akito took his place at the table, standing in front of his seat. He lifts the clear and polished champagne glass and a knife, tapping the side of the glass to signal the toast of doom.

He casts a sidelong glance my way, my cue to stand beside him.

"You all must be very curious as to why I've invited you here on such short notice...I have an announcement to make to all of you. "Mi-Cha is about to become a member of our family. She will be taking her place as my bride the following Monday."

The reaction of the Sohmas were a mixture. Rin, Haru, and Hiro looked betrayed, Yuki and Kisa looked horrified, Ayame and Shigure were shocked, Kyo looked on disinterestedly and Ritsu, Hatori, and Tohru were silent. Kureno tosses a slight smile Akito's way before my husband to be continues.

"Attendance is mandatory, even you cat," Akito directs at Kyo, a devious smile sliding into place.

"I will see you all then."

* * *

The wedding went on without a hitch. Wonderful for me. Not.

I read off the vow Akito wrote, "I will submit myself to you Akito. For I am nothing without you. It is only at your side that I have meaning in my mundane and mediocre existence. You are everything I am not and I give my heart to you..." Nausea set in before I even walked up the aisle, "I have longed to be with you and I will do as you say for you own me...no one is more important to me than you, please accept me."

Akito looked like he could barely stand himself after I gave "my" vow.

At the end of it, he rushed me off to his chambers for the part I dreaded most...the honeymoon.

Akito shut the door behind me and began removing his wedding garment. His garment matched the black depths of his heart, and was just as cold.

He turns towards me with an expectant grin. "Do not think I will be gentle with you...oh and did I not tell you? You will be bearing my child. I've always wanted someone like me running about...it's the least _you_ can do."

All the color drained from my face in that moment. I hadn't once thought of the possibility of that. And now here I was, behind locked doors and alone with...my husband.

Oh crap.

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Bitter Truths**

I sit, cross legged on the scarlet red comforter...I laugh at the irony of it all. The shower water starts up as I mull over the last few moments...the pain...the screaming. What would be a regular occurrence until it worked. He was going to keep doing me until it worked...I wonder if I should make an escape. If I should just flee now and drag Tohru along with me. Fear was an ever present burden I couldn't shake. I was usually so brave and strong. But I was terrified of having a child. I was scared of what my life would be like, bound to Akito until the end of time. But...I had no choice.

I run my hands along my stomach, my eyes burning with hot tears. _No, you will not cry. You will not let him know how he is affecting you...you need to have the upper hand._ Suddenly, my phone buzzes beside me, jolting me out of my reverie. I rub my tired eyes and glance at the screen. Great...it's my agent. With a sigh, I accept the call and place it to my ear.

"Yes Mimi?"

"Where are you?" The frazzled woman screeches into my ear. I roll my eyes, irritation welling up inside of me. Mimi had always been a nag when it came to getting modeling gigs for me. The ways she tried to sell me. There were times I had been forced into wearing 19th century, itchy, sweltering gowns for certain shoots...other times I bared it all for the world to see. I never once declined; I wanted to support my Mom. She deserved everything I had to give her after Dad left because of me. If I hadn't been born...Mom wouldn't be lonely right now. She wouldn't be sad when she thought I wasn't looking.

"I'm...away in Cancun..." The words rolled off my tongue before I could stop them. Lying was my new life, a miserable pit I would never climb out of once I plunged into it. "You know that my Mom has been stressing lately, so I figured she would need time to unwind." It was already spinning out of control, and I had no way to cover my tracks.

"...you should have informed me before you even so much as booked a flight! I _am_ your manager and you withheld this from me?! I'm not paid to be kept in the dark. _Mi-Cha._ "

In all honesty, it was half true. Mom was in Cancun...on a two week vacation.

"I'm going to go. Mom wants to head to the pool. Bye." I hung up before she could stop me, and flopped backward onto the bed. I stare up at the ceiling, my heart hammering at the thought of Akito coming out at any moment...the lies I've told...how I would break the news to my Mom...my life was out of my hands, I had no control over it. I was losing my grip on everything.

* * *

An hour later, the bathroom door opens, steam pouring into the room.

He crosses over and places his hands on my cheeks. I attempt to curb the desire to make my escape. For her sake.

"You know Mi...you don't look all that bad...to be honest, I never really wanted that ugly girl. But you on the other hand...I've seen you somewhere."

I bite back the insults I wanted to throw back at him.

"Ah! I've seen you sprawled across the cover of a Victoria's Secret ad...who would have known I would have you in my sights...free of charge."

He released me and began gathering together a coat and loafers. "But know this...if you are unable to conceive, the deal is off. You and Tohru will both lose your memories. Glad to see we understand each other." Then, with a whoosh of the door opening, he was gone.

I snatched his pillow up, gripping it in my hands before hurling it across the room. An expensive vase clatters to the floor, ceramic pieces shattering against the dark wood. What have I done?

…

Thankfully Akito had been away for the past two hours. I can promise you I didn't miss him.

I lie out on the scarlet comforter, staring up at the ceiling, pretending that I am away from here. That this isn't happening. This is all a hallucinatory dream. Kind of like that time I snuck off set to get high with a couple of guys I met on the shoot. Mom was so incredibly mad at me, she made me promise I'd never so much as say "Marijuana" again...but unfortunately, it was reality.

A knock sounds from the door. Who could that be? Akito wouldn't knock...maybe it's one of the maidservants.

"Hello?" A calm voice cuts through the sound of my erratic heartbeat.

That voice...how familiar.

"Haru?" My voice comes out tentative, timid. Not really wanting to know if I were wrong and simply imagining him.

But, much to my relief Haru stepped into the room.

"Mi, what are you doing marrying Akito? I thought...I thought you cared about us..."

His question took me aback. What was he accusing me of? Did he actually think I wanted this?

"Haru, I don't-"

"You know that we've been friends and that I've told you about my situation with Rin. You know that Akito hurt her and you decided to marry him?" Haru's eyes darkened with each syllable uttered. Every last one, like hits landed on a punching bag.

"Listen to me! I only married him because-"

The door creaked open and Akito appeared right behind Haru, his eyes trained on the back of his head. Eyes a sharp and deadly black.

"Mi, I thought I told you to keep it between us...the reason behind your choosing me."

I cast my gaze at my feet, remembering very clearly his instructions. Kyo and Tohru were the only ones that knew. He told me not to tell anyone else...

"Haru, I do think that you ought to leave now. Mi and I have business to take care of. But if you do happen to stop by Shigure's, be sure to let Yuki know his visit with me is long overdue..."

Haru glanced at me once more before storming off.

Akito tossed his trench coat to the floor before creeping over to me. His eyes fixated on me, his hands reaching for my waist, pulling me against him.

He leaned in close and rubbed his nose along my collarbone, breathing in the scent of my body wash. I felt like hurling at his close proximity. His breath on me making my skin crawl.

"Shame that I'll have to teach you a lesson now that you've disobeyed me."

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Pregnancy Blues**

The white tube clattered to the black bathroom tile. My hands frozen mid-air, the test slipping through my fingers...like quicksand. It happened. This was really happening. I was pregnant...with Akito's child.

The shock of it all stole my breath away, the room feeling oxygen deprived and dry. My eyes burned, the stupid tears tempted to spill over. Really? I'm already this hormonal and its only just begun!

The cursed pregnancy test lies on the floor, face up. The blue plus...taunting me. I feel as if my world has just come crashing down, reality slamming into me...it was actually going to happen.

* * *

Akito was beside himself with excitement of the news. He was ecstatic to know a mini Akito would be hollering his head off in no time. I felt like I was already feeling a bout of morning sickness coming on...oh wait, it must be Akito's face that induces my nausea.

As soon as he found out, he declared that we would be heading to a baby store immediately. Baby clothes, cradles, bibs, rattles, the works. It was odd, seeing him this happy. I'd never seen him act that way. He usually looked murderous or a twisted, wicked smile was etched into place...but in this moment, he actually seemed - call me crazy - genuinely happy. Weird.

We stepped inside and were greeted with a whoosh as the automatic doors closed behind us. A perky saleswoman with her brown hair fixed into an up-do, her cheeks dusted with too much pink blush, and a corduroy blazer, blouse, and pencil skirt that were all too short - met us at the entrance.

"Well hello there! What a lovely couple you are!" She squealed.

Lovely? Couple...? Heck no.

"So, how long's it been? When is the baby, going to be...on board?" She guffawed at her own joke as if knowing no one would laugh at it.

Akito rolled his eyes and combed through the racks of onesies leaving me with perky. "...just found out this morning. My uh, _husband_ is a bit eager..."

Akito tossed aside the clothes he despised. "What flimsy trash is this?" He grumbled as he sorted through a new rack.

Perky's smile faltered slightly. Ha, she probably had to clean that up.

"I...see that. Anyway, we have a lovely selection here. So, feel free to browse and peruse until you find whatever feels comfortable for the both of you." The woman bowed before stalking off, thankfully. I was practically choking on all the perfume she seemed to bathe herself in.

Akito beckoned me over with a nod of the head. I sighed and dragged myself over to the display, variations of bibs and bottles lining the shelves.

"What do you think the child ought to be named?" He turned to me, his eyes actually a less intense black...but still creepy as they trained on me.

I raised an eyebrow skeptically. Was he seriously asking my opinion? He didn't ask me if I even wanted the child in the first place. Why start now?

"I don't know...if its a girl, I guess I'd name her...Himari..."

Akito lifted a lime green bib from the plexi-glass shelf that read, "Like Father, Like Son."

"And if it is a boy...perhaps, Akito Jr?"

Yeah, and while we're at it, why don't you kill me too?

"That's...lovely?"

He snorted before sifting through the rest of the clothes.

* * *

After ninety years of shopping, we arrived back at the estates. A room had already been set aside for the future nursery. I kid you not; the walls are being painted as we speak. Akito digs through the white plastic bags until he lifts a mobile out of its confines. The mobile has red plastic hearts dangling from a silver ring, a Tchaikovsky piece gently sounding from it as it rotates.

The piece is almost soothing, reminiscent of one I once had...but looking back on those times always brought on mixed emotions. Pain and Nostalgia. Sadness and Joy. Fear and Hope. I never knew my Dad outside of the stories Mom had recounted for me.

She originally planned to keep him from me. But, when I was six I got curious. I started burning with questions about him. I'd seen girls with their dads. I received word of Daddy-Daughter Dances and Galas. I'd heard of this, witnessed it on cheesy sitcoms...but never experienced the real thing.

My Father was a total tech nerd. He worked hard for the straight A's, for the acceptance to the most prestige school in the world, for all the perks and benefits of being a golden boy. But he made one single mistake...just one. One night, a couple of his friends made fun of him for never having been laid or going to a party. It was his senior year, a month before graduation. What could one party hurt? Well, that _one party_ changed everything.

He got wasted and couldn't tell his left from his right. Before either of them knew it, they found themselves waking up in bed together at a neighbor's frat house. Long story short, Mom told him she was pregnant with his baby. Well, genius boy couldn't have _me_ as a blemish on his spot-free record now could he? Oh no...he demanded that she get an abortion. He offered to pay her heaps of money to get rid of the "problem." She turned him down each time saying she wanted to keep me. My dad got out of dodge and booked it as far away from her as possible. She didn't bother with child support. She decided that if he had wanted to kill me before I'd even entered the world, imagine what he'd do once I was born.

So she dropped out of high school, and moved in with her Aunt, taking care of me...

So like I said, I had mixed feelings about those times...

* * *

 **Chapter Five: All That I Have**

Fifties music blasted out of the speakers as I shoveled spoonfuls of the mint Mochi ice cream at breakneck speed. Arisa stared at me with wide eyes and Tohru giggled at my binge fest.

"Uh, won't you get brain freeze?" Arisa raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.

I swallowed and shook my head. "As long as it doesn't touch the roof of your mouth, you won't." Arisa shook her head and took a sip from her vanilla malt.

"With how you were going at it, I'd think that would be impossible."

I beamed. "Not for me. I'm a pro!"

Arisa plucked the cherry off and tossed it aside carelessly. Just as she was about to take another sip, her face lit up. Oh no...I knew that look.

"Say? Since you claim to be so great, I challenge you to a brain freeze contest. I'll order us a round of milkshakes and whoever gets brain freeze first, loses!"

I smirked, pushing my empty bowl of ice cream aside. "Alright. You're on blondie."

Tohru wrapped her arms around her torso nervously. "Are you sure this is such a good idea?"

Saki - whom I'd forgotten was there - simply leaned over and patted Tohru on the hand. "It'll be fine Tohru. The outcome is quite scintillating; you'll want to see it."

Today was the first day in a month since Akito let me out of the house. Because apparently I'm a dog. He allows me to go out once a week with people he approves of, I can't disclose anything about the curse or the fact he was the one that knocked me up. I could only tell them that I was pregnant and nothing more. That could lead to questions of whether I'm cheating on him. The girls seemed to be a mixture of distraught and shocked. Tohru promised to throw me a baby shower - not that I wanted one - as if she owed me a favor...I'd told her dozens of times I was willing to do this for her sake. I could deal...I hope.

"Ready? Annnd go!" Arisa and I began downing the milkshakes as fast as humanly possible. I knew that I had to eat right for the baby's sake. Thankfully, it was still early on enough that I could do this kind of thing.

By the third one, my chest felt tight and the familiar and painful sensation made my head hurt like crap.

"Owww," I hissed, clutching my chest. The worst part of a brain freeze was when you could feel it in your chest. That always sucked.

Arisa grinned and shoved her fourth glass aside, "I won! In yo face woman!" She whooped as she swiped at the liquid dribbling down her chin. "Looks like I'm the true pro."

I rolled my eyes as the blasted pain finally subsided. "Whatever. I only stopped because of the baby's sake..."

She knows it was bull, but she didn't say anything.

Tohru glanced between us in worry. "Are you two okay? Do you need anything? I knew I should have stopped it-"

"Tohru, its fine. I suppose it's only fair since I kicked her booty in poker two months ago." I smirked as Arisa recalled the memory of the time I beat her with a flush. She clenched her fists and glared back at me. "Oh yeah? I'm gonna find something else I can destroy you at. You can count on it."

I chuckled and tossed a tip on the table. "Sure Arisa...maybe the day Tohru beats you in a fight will be the day you beat me at something again."

* * *

When I got back to The Sohma Estates, I found Akito to still be MIA. I trudged upstairs, my hand finding the railing on automatic. When I got to his chambers, I rummaged through the armoire he ordered for me and retrieved my cell phone.

I hit speed dial and placed the phone to my ear, flopping down on the bed.

After two rings, she picked up. "Mi, hey sweetie. How's the apartment?"

I told Mom that I decided to financially emancipate myself and to take a break from modeling to focus on school instead...it was half true. I even informed her that I had a place to stay and everything. I couldn't bring myself to tell her anything else...not yet.

"Its...great Mom. There's a lot of space, you know how I love having my friends over."

Mom laughed on the other line. "Of course. I remember the headaches of having all of you here. Loud as can be...Mi, I was wondering if I could stop by this evening and see the place for myself. I just want to check that you dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's."

Oh no.

"Uh...Ma, can't you stop by next weekend? The place is a mess and I don't want you to have a heart attack when you see it." Wow, I couldn't have done better than that? Someone should slap me...where was Akito when you needed him?

Mom sighed. "That's ridiculous. I've seen your bedroom at its worst...fine, I'll respect your privacy. I will see you next weekend. I love you Mi-Mi, take care."

I felt stupid tears welling up in my eyes. I've cried more in these past two months than I had in years. "Love you too eomma," I echoed back before hanging up.

The phone slipped out of my hand and my eyes slid shut in aggravation. Life is so complicated...I ran my hand across my abdomen woefully. "I'm sorry..." I whispered as if the embryo could somehow understand me... "I'm sorry you have such screwed up parents...enjoy the eight months you have. As soon as you enter this wicked world, you'll regret it."

* * *

 **Chapter Six: How Akito Met My Mother**

The week only seemed to drag from the day I lost the brain freeze contest to blondie. But before I knew it, I looked up and it was Saturday afternoon. Something nagged at me...wasn't there something special about today?

...

Oh no. Today Mom's coming over.

First issue; she'll learn I live a filthy rich estate.

Second issue; Akito is a total creep and she'll be scarred for life.

Third issue; I may or may not look a little bit chub in the face...I was not looking forward to the weight gain...but I was more terrified of the birth itself.

Anyway, I had no idea what I was going to do. I could prolong it...but I did that once already.

Just as I was about to pack my bags and exile to an uncharted island and become a total hobo, Akito entered the room with a small smile. It wasn't the smile from the baby store venture, but the smile he wore when he was plotting something malicious and devious all in the same instance. With Akito, that was a deadly combo.

"So I hear your Mother is stopping by this evening for dinner."

What? How the heck did he know?

His smile broadened as he took a few steps forward, slipping out of the shadows, and inching his way towards me.

"She called here letting one of my maidservants know that she would be here a little bit after seven. I really do not know how you believed you'd get away with lying about your whereabouts to such a...nosy broad."

Anger burned and coiled in the pit of my stomach at the derogatory name. Akito bowed at the waist so that we were face to face. His eyes trailed from my chocolate orbs to my lips, biting his own in thought.

"Tell you what. Since you've been a good little wife, I will play along and act as if I am merely a boyfriend of yours..." I couldn't help the relief that flooded my features, my anger losing its sting. I thought it would have been a lot harder than that.

"On one condition." Dang it, I knew there was a catch.

"After I suffer her...you must promise to work on the nursery with me." His devious smile softened ever so slightly as I looked upon him in shock. _That_ was his only request...? I didn't get him at all. First his weird obsession with having a child, the way he acted at the store, and now this...was he a bigger softie than I thought? Did he actually have a heart?

He began retreating to his dressing room to change. "Oh, and do wear something sexy. Not those rags you usually wear...it's the least you can do if I have to put up with this woman."

Annnd, I was wrong...I can't believe I actually thought Akito was human...I suppose being in this place for so long has affected the last shred of sanity I had.

* * *

We now sat at the dining table in the west wing of the estates. The maids laid out the same table cloth of our engagement announcement, champagne sat dead center along with a dark bottle of red wine. Mom's glass had been filled halfway with the wine, her bowl of miso sucked dry as she watched Akito in admiration. I seriously thought I would hurl at the looks she was giving him.

Apparently Mom found Akito beyond likeable. I had to admit, I barley recognized him. He acted like a gentleman; pulling out the chairs for us to sit, pouring our drinks, making decent conversation...he actually seemed...kinda normal.

He told Mom that we'd met a few days ago at the grocery store. He explained how I'd been "swept off my feet" by his charm and sophisticated demeanor. He also covered the living arrangement; Akito told her I decided to dine here so she could meet my new "boyfriend." With how much of a show he was putting on, I knew I would never hear the end of it.

"My, what a world traveler you are...seeing Paris, London, Australia - how fascinating."

Akito winked at her before tossing a coy smile my way.

Mom polished off the last bit of the tangy wine before turning towards me. "Mi! Have you been putting on weight? When you get back to modeling, you know your agent's going to throw tantrum."

Akito cast a sidelong glance at me, and attempted to stifle his snickering behind his hand. Nice...

Either way, I managed to survive the dinner and was now seated on the floor of the nursery as Akito attempted to assemble the sky blue crib. He'd carelessly tossed aside the instructions. Apparently he found the instructions useless for someone of his intellect. Right...even though he's been going at the crib for the past hour and already put the wrong pieces in place twice.

I was at work on the changing table when Akito thrust his calloused hand in my face. "Give me the blasted instructions. If these people weren't such morons I'd be able to put the thing together without them."

I rolled my eyes before reaching behind me and handing the medium sized booklet to him. His hand brushed mine slightly, a shiver trailing my arm at the contact...I don't think I'll ever get used to his cold hands being anywhere near me. A huge part of me wishes I never received that phone call from Tohru...that I'd never even moved to Tokyo and just stayed in Seoul.

As Akito's eyes scan the tan papers, his harsh features soften...that same look.

I look upon him with brimming curiosity. There's no doubt I find him to be an off putting, treacherous, creepy snake...but as I look at him while he puts together the crib...I can't help but wonder about this side of him...and wonder what is it about this child that actually softens his hardened heart.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Lifeboat**

Two weeks passed since dinner with Mom and Akito, and I'm happy to say that Akito has been coming and going more and more. I was within his estates more than he was. It was a winter afternoon - not that'd you'd know it with how dark it was - when I decided to escape his chambers and explore the house. I hadn't really wanted to before. Mainly because I thought Akito would jump out of a corner and kill me one day... I never knew what came next; my death or my heroic break.

Either way, I happened upon a library...when did I get so formal? The influence of the rich estates must be getting to me.

The nasty bookshelf was encased in rotting wood, the books were covered in dust, and the room smelled so pungent I thought my eyes might bleed.

But, I mean...it was better than his room I guess.

Looking through the shelves I half expected it to be filled with children's books since he seems so obsessed with them. But, the only books were scary stories and murder mysteries. I ran my hand along the worn binding of a dark red horror book when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"I was just going to tell you about his fascination with horror stories...I didn't think you'd jump out of your skin."

I placed my hand over my chest, my heart racing wildly upon realizing it was Kureno. Sheesh, does everyone have to scare the crap out of you around here?

"I'm just...I...you were saying something?"

A small smile ghosted his lips as he reached above me and lifted a book off the top shelf. He was close enough to me that I caught whiff of his pine cologne.

He took a seat on the sectional, with the book tucked beneath the crook of his arm. Kureno patted the spot beside him, as if expecting me to sit with a lunatic. Anyone that loyal to Akito had to be - well...maybe I'm just judging him. Just like how Haru judged me about why I married Akito...

With a defeated sigh, I dragged my feet and plopped down beside him.

He cracked open the book, causing cloud of dust to spill out of the pages as he thumbed through it.

"...he enjoys these stories because they inspire him."

Why am I not surprised?

"They pique his curiosity. Akito often tells me that the killers and rapists in these stories are misunderstood...he always looks forward to hearing the ending of the stories. He hopes that others will simply see the murderer or abuser as lost...lonely...abandoned. But they never do...for some reason, even though he knows the killers never win, he can't help but wonder if one of them will...if just one will be seen for what they really are, and given another chance."

I didn't have a clue what Kureno was talking about. I didn't get any of it...it made Akito seem like he had a shred of humanity. Like he felt misunderstood and wanted someone to relate to...but I knew that couldn't be it.

Kureno redirected his gaze towards me, his eyes trailing me. I noticed that he always found ways to look at me, always when Akito wasn't there or not paying attention. Like I said – lunatic.

"Mi-Cha, you seem troubled these days. Is something bothering you?"

My mouth dropped open at his question. Was he seriously asking why _I_ seemed upset?

I huffed, folding my arms across my chest. "What do you care? You're Akito's right hand man, his dog. If he says 'jump', you say 'how high?' What difference does it make to you about how I feel? Shouldn't you be trailing Akito around and doing his bidding like a pathetic, spineless, servant?"

Kureno flinched at my words. He turned away from me, as if I somehow hurt him...

He closed the book shut and rose to his feet. After returning the storybook to its rightful place, he began making his way for the door. Before he left, he turned to me once more, his eyes dancing with an emotion I couldn't quite figure out.

"Like those people in the stories...I too am misunderstood Mi-Cha. If you want to talk to me about your worries one day, you know where to find me." And with those parting words, he was gone.

* * *

A few days passed as I'd been mulling over Kureno's words. Tomorrow I would be allowed to go out of the estates and visit Tohru and the other Sohmas...but for right now, I was seriously considering talking to the rooster. So much of this weighed on me, and I had no one to dump my burdens on.

I didn't want to upset Tohru, Kyo was...meh, and no one else knew the story. That left me with one option...Kureno.

It was midnight when I decided to stop by Kureno's room. Akito was conked out and hadn't even noticed I'd left.

I glanced down at myself to see if I looked okay. My nightgown was short but not _too_ short. I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and rapped on the door softly.

Maybe this isn't a good idea...maybe I should run. He'd never even know it was me. Yeah, this was a stupid-

"Mi-Cha...is something wrong?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes sleepily. His own shirt lie discarded on the wooden floor, his sweatpants hanging loosely off of him, his hair disheveled and sticking out in different directions.

"I...uh...I didn't mean to wake you..."

He simply shook his head before reaching behind him to flick his light switch on. "Come in, I don't mind."

I knew I shouldn't have...but I did.

I ducked into the room and he closed the door behind us. His room honestly wasn't as extravagant as I'd pictured. I thought Akito's most esteemed servant would live like a king...but it was pretty bare aside from a full sized bed, a dresser, and a mirror that hung from the ceiling...

Kureno perched himself on his bed, just like a rooster. I would find it hilarious if I wasn't so tense.

"Did you have something...you might want to tell me, perhaps?"

I placed a hand over my small bump - a habit I formed - and avoided his gaze.

"I'm sorry for what I said...y'know, about how you always cater to Akito's every whim...I was just upset about other things."

He quirked his eyebrow at this, "Oh? What might those things be?"

I rolled my eyes at his question. "Really? I'm pregnant with a psycho's child...what am I not upset about?"

Kureno shook his head, as if I was the stupid one. "No, that's not it...you've begun to grow accustomed to the arrangement. Not comfortable, but used to it...so what is really on your mind?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Why should I tell you? How do I know that you won't blab it off to Akito?"

Kureno jumped to his feet and crossed over so that he stood directly in front of me. He looped an arm around me and pulled me to his waist, our hips connecting. I was so stunned by his actions I didn't move. He looked me directly in the eyes, "Because I want you to myself...I can promise you, I won't say a word to him..."

What. The. Heck?

Apparently my brain began working again as I realized what was happening. I shoved him away from me and reached for the door handle.

"I...why? I don't understand. I think I changed my mind... bye." I moved to open the door when he pushed it closed again. He grabbed me by the shoulders and drew me to him once more.

"If you knew how long I've waited to touch you...I always thought you were attractive. I've struggled with whether I would be willing to betray my master...but I can't help myself." He dipped his head down and ran his lips along the flesh of my cheek. He held me close to him, and not transforming...I thought he was a zodiac...? But that was the least of my problems.

Kureno smiled at me before opening the door for me, "I look forward to being with you Mi-Cha...I've never allowed myself to want for anything before. I've always obeyed my master...but this time, thing are going to be different...goodnight." And with that, I was pushed into the hall - the door closing behind me.

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: Speechless**

 _I turn on my side in hopes of finally getting shut eye...nope. I roll over on my back, and try succumbing to the sleep I craved...I still can't get comfortable. Out of frustration I snatch my fluffy lavender pillow up and scream into it...maybe it would tire me out enough, or I could pass out at the very least. I give up and decide to head to the kitchen for a warm glass of milk. I slip into my bunny slippers and patter down the hallway, passing my Mom's room along the way..._

 _I was eight...I was eight years old that night I had a strong case of insomnia. I was eight when I passed by my Mother's door...I was eight when I heard my Mother's cries...they were muffled as if she was attempting to conceal them, I would hear a sniffle every other moment as her body racked with sobs. I peered through the cracked door and find Mom curled up in a fetal position, tears spilling down her cheeks. A bottle of her favorite chateau lies on the floor, shattered against the brown wood. I'd never seen my Mom so upset. She'd always appeared strong, as if nothing could ever get her down. I'd always admired that quality about her. Independent, strong, tough as nails...she was both Mom and Dad to me, driving me all across town for ballet recitals, holding down a job as a waitress at the nearby parlor with long hours, and taking college courses all at the same time. That woman had never broken down...that's what I desperately believed._

 _I push the door open further, timidly approaching her curled up form. Fear ebbed at my heart, darkness filling my mind...I'd no idea what to do. I'd never been in this situation before. I didn't know what I should do. Acting solely on instinct, I drop to my knees and crawl over to her. She's trembling, unrecognizable sounds emitting from her as the clock ticks from the hallway. An owl sounds from the outside, oblivious to my Mom's evident pain. The world carrying on, as we are frozen in time. I nervously reach for Mom's shoulder, I latch onto her and try jarring her out of her state...her eyes unseeing, clouded and blurred by the endless tears._

 _"Mama...eomma...what's wrong?" She didn't respond, she simply reached for me, yanking me downward. She strokes the back of my head as I'm pressed to her, as if I were her teddy bear...means of comfort...I hear the dull thuds of her heartbeat...I remember being surprised about hearing it. In her stupor, I thought her heartbeat would barely be audible, as if she were dying...fading into nothingness. But I heard a persistent hammering. She was alive, and determined to keep on going. Now would only be a moment, soon to be forgotten...that's what she wanted. She wanted me to forget I'd ever seen her weak and at a loss. She would hate to know that I'd remembered. She would feel so guilty...I reach for the blanket lying at my feet and pull it up so that I can wrap it around both of us. Mom's breathing eventually slows and evens out, eventually giving into the tendrils of sleep as I lie here with her...I'd always thought the Mom had to be strong, that she could never break down. I always thought the Mama had to protect the child...it never once crossed my mind, until that night...that Moms need protecting too._

* * *

Today was the day...the day I would find out whether Akito's child would be a boy or girl. I could never call him or her my own. How could I call something mine that really wasn't?

I slipped on my navy and black button trench coat, and carelessly throw on a black skirt. I had to up my entire wardrobe even though I'm only three months in. I dunno, I kind of thought I would have more time before I looked like I swallowed a watermelon. I thought I looked _too_ big for beginning my second trimester.

I've spent most of my energy avoiding Kureno and making sure we were never alone together...that would be a nightmare.

The double doors slam open, and Akito enters with his boasting grin. He is wearing fancy dark garb as if this baby was some sort of VIP. He crosses over and stands in front of me, his dark eyes roaming me.

"Well, well, well...I think its time we find out whether it will be an Akito Jr...or an Akira Jr, hmm?"

I'd already surpassed my morning sickness phase, but as long as Akito keeps running his mouth - I'm not so sure that makes much difference.

I promised I'd tell Tohru, Arisa, and Saki the results as soon as I knew...freaked out as I am to know.

The radiology, gynecologist, x-ray center was a pristine office. The room smelled like windex, snotty, whiny children screeched like apes as they hung onto their Moms, an old woman sat in the corner of the room as she held her presumably aching wrist, a teenage girl slouched in the brown wooden chair and sighed every few seconds.

Akito could barely sit still as we sat in the waiting room. He crossed his left leg over his right - like a girl - and drummed his fingers on the empty chair beside him.

I rolled my eyes and sunk down. Only a little bit longer Mi...then you'll be home and it'll be over...honestly I was only kidding myself.

"Mr and Mrs Sohma, Dr Tatsuya is ready for you." At first I hadn't realized she was calling me. I think I wanted to block out the fact I was married to Akito...pity, it didn't work.

I scooped my bag up and onto my shoulder. I was about to get up when Akito extended his hand my way, a gesture that made me wonder if I were dreaming. I stared at his hand for a few seconds before begrudgingly accepting.

We were lead to a darker room, machines and screens surrounding the room with a table front and center. Akito once again helped me out and grabbed for my waist, hoisting me up on the table...what was with him today? Was he really that giddy about this? Dang, if this changes the way he acts...maybe I've figured it out. Being sexually frustrated must make him sadistic...nah, I just think he's crazy.

Anyway, I was forced to down so much water beforehand I thought my bladder would explode. I couldn't wait for this mess to be over and done with...

It wasn't long before Dr Tatsuya entered the room and I now lied out on the table. My shirt had been rolled up so that my stomach lie exposed. He squeezes out this weird clear gel and slaps it on me. It. Was. So. Cold! Was he trying to torment me? Akito must have been behind that...its the only explanation.

After applying it, he reached for a wand and began moving it - his eyes focused on the black and white screen behind him. It was hard to make out the images, but I could see two distinct blobs...

Akito jumped up and stood beside me, he too watched the monitor.

A few moments later, warbling sounds from the monitor as the image clears up more. "That sound...is the heartbeat. Or, heartbeats rather..."

What?

"...yup. Just as I expected. Congratulations Mr and Mrs Sohma. You're having twins! A boy _and_ a girl."


	5. Mood Swings

**Mood Swings**

 **Chapter One: Get That Girl A Mood Ring**

We were together in the back of his car. In between the hot touches, the moans, and the kisses- my mind was elsewhere. This was actually quite normal for me. No I'm not a prostitute or anything, but I do date around. Why? Just for the heck of it. Its only harmless fun, I get with the guy once and then we never speak again. No strings attatched is just how I like it.

No one gets hurt when the other leaves. No one is left with a stabbing pain in their heart. An inflicted wound that never heals. Nope. Just harmless fun.

The next morning my Mom banged on the door to which I groaned in response. I was suffering an extreme hangover and the incessant banging didn't help matters. I smothered my head with the pillow as if it would block out the noise. It barely muffled it.

"Kai get up for school! I have to leave early for a meeting!" I was thankful to hear the footfalls fade off as she left the house. I flung the pillow to the floor and rolled up into a sitting position. How lovely, I also have a crick in my neck.

I got up to get dressed in my uniform and headed into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror I saw how terrible I truly looked. My hair was disheveled, my eyes were red and puffy from crying myself into a restless night, and hickeys adorned my neck from the "date" last night. I looked horrible. Its no wonder he left, why would he want a daughter like me.

I combed my medium length black hair and let it hang loosely over my shoulders. Still feeling bad I decided to just grab some asprin and skip the makeup for today, before trudging off to school. As the school came closer and closer into view, the more my heart sank. I urged myself forward no matter how badly I wanted to be in bed right now.

I placed my shoes into the foot locker before heading off to class. Walking up the aisle to my seat, a guy smacked me on the ass and I had to will myself to not glare at him. No, that would only make my headache worse. Instead I rested my head on the desk and was grateful for the feeling of coolness pressed to my cheek. I felt slightly okay. That is until an annoying, shrill voice interrupted any moment of solitude I might have had.

"Hi! I'm Tohru- uh I was told to give you this note." Sighing I sat up and snatched it from her. As I unfolded it I wondered why she was still standing there, and why she was smiling like a psycho. Then again...

I squinted my eyes to make out the writing, _"What do ya say you and me get together after school? I bet I can show you a good time."_ I rolled my eyes with a snort at the cliche' note. Looking up I realized it was the guy I passed by before. Right. I would go with him...For a laugh.

* * *

At lunch, I was not feeling so great and decided on simply grabbing a soda from the vending machine instead of eating. I made my way across the grassy area and found a spot by the great Cherry Blossom Tree. I pressed the back of my head against the bark and allowed my eyes to close as the wind whipped my hair around. I sipped from the pepsi and relaxed my shoulders. Finally, I was alone.

"Hi!" I cracked an eye open to see it was the chick from before. What the heck was she doing here?

"...What do you want?" My voice came out low and harsher than I intended. But if it got her to leave me alone sooner, I was all for it.

She actually did the opposite and plopped down next to me. "You looked lonely so I thought I could cheer you up. If you want me to."

"I don't. Did it occur to you I like to be alone?" I quirked a brow and took another sip. The girl turned suddenly towards me and bowed her head.

"Please, I would like to be your friend. No one should be alone."

"I do! Don't you get that? I don't want to be your friend! Stay away from me!" I couldn't help but snap. Even though she noticeably flinched, it only made me feel better about yelling at her. It was nice for once for someone else to be insulted other than me. I didn't like this girl- no...I hated her. Who could be so happy all the time anyway? Happiness is such a useless, futile emotion. It fades faster than any other, something horrible always follows.

I rose to my feet and stalked away before she could say anything more to me. Whatever it was, I didn't want to hear it.

* * *

After school, I got to my part time job as a waitress. At the cafe' I worked, we were required to wear maids outfits and wait on men. Men with beer belly's, alcohol on their breath, promiscuous husbands, and guys who were just dumped were our regulars. It was a job I accepted as my future. It would be as far as I would ever get in life. Of my academic stature, at best I could go to community college...Maybe. I wasn't even remotely beautiful, the only reason I made money is simple. Sex sells.

Thats all thats left for me. I honestly don't mind. Much.

* * *

After getting off my shift, exiting the cafe' I bumped into a boy with blazing orange hair, and ruby red eyes. His eyes narrowed in fury as the coffee he had been carrying spilled all over him.

"Watch where you're goin dumb bimbo! Next time Shigure can get his own freakin coffee." Recognition set in as I realized it was one of the Sohma boys at school.

"Me?! You were the one that bumped into me!"

"I think I'd know what happened, I was right here!" I slapped my forehead at his stupid statement. Not caring to hear anymore I walked off. Well screw him, I didn't need him to tell me something else was my fault. I've heard that a thousand times.

I didn't need to hear it another time.

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Friends Aren't So Bad**

The next morning on my way to school, I already knew the day would be miserable. Having rained the night before, it was mucky and gross outside. A car sped over a puddle and water, correction- _Muddy_ Water splashed all over me.

Not only was I suffering another one of my hangovers, but makeup dripped down my face and pooled at my neck in a sticky mess, my hair looked bedraggled and fell into my eyes in damp waves, and my uniform clung to me like a second skin! I was quite the spectacle to behold.

Rushing off too the girl's locker room, I attempted to do some damage control. I managed to scrub the dirty remains off me in the shower, the makeup and mud now swirled down the drain in a nasty mess. No longer my problem.

My problem was, I had no change of clothes. Great. What kinda crap is this?!

I sank to my haunches and tried to rub warmth back into my arms, the air conditioner taunting me the entire hour as I shivered endlessly.

Betta believe I was thankful when footsteps sounded outside the shower curtain, and a...Girl's uniform slid under the door?

"Heard about what happened and thought we could help," a gruff female voice explained.

I quickly changed to discover the source of the disembodied voice and ask why they would even help me.

Sliding the curtain back, I came face to face with blondie, creepy, and perky from yesterday. Ugh...Well, I guess I should be thankful or some crap.

I bowed several times before offering up a forced 'thank you.'

"No problem." Blondie smiled and patted perky's head.

"You have Tohru to thank for that. She told us what happened when you rushed in earlier."

My heart began to swell with some...Weird emotion. I felt myself smiling? Gross. I had to get outta here before I...Before I...Hug someone!

Just as I was about to make a break for it, creepy placed a hand on my arm to still my movements. Almost as if she... _Knew?_ She really lived up to the nickname.

"Join us, I believe it will be quite the scintillating experience for all of us." My skin crawled at her chilling tone, I swallowed the ever forming lump in my throat apprehensively. Um...No thanks.

"Sorry but I don't do friends. Or socializing...Or Relationships for that matter."

"I apologize but you're not my type," Creepy patted my arm as if to reassure me.

Perky in turn kneeled down and clasped her hands together, "Please, I really want to help you," she pleaded. I sighed and agreed to sit with them at lunch later today. least I could do to show _some_ gratitude for my saving grace.

* * *

Upon arrival I found freak from last night (Kyo), The Prince, a blonde little boy, and a sexy cow haired boy. Well, his hair was black and white anyway. They were the school famous, heck- the regionally famous Sohmas. Rich, Hot, So within reach but not. None of them ever dated, they were all rumored to be gay, have committment issues, or some nasty STD.

Anyways, Blonde Boy bounced up and tugged ahold of my hands. "How exciting! Another cute girl is sitting with us!" Cow boy grunted in greeting and I nervously shook free of Blonde Boy's grip.

"Yeah...Heh."

"How are you enjoying your day Miss-"

"Natsuyo," I supplied for princey. Then, ah lo and behold...His charming smile appeared. The one that made girls swoon left and right, the reason behind his fan club (well one of them), and what made him so prince-like. His never ending chivalry.

"What are you even doing here? Try not to spill somethin else." Freak cut in, to which I cast an intense glare on him.

"Okay sweetie. Oh, but try to not blind someone with that trashy hair color of yours." I smiled snidely. It filled me with great satisfaction to get him riled up. He deserved it with how he treated me. It was an effin accident. Besides, it was his fault anyway.

Princey snickered and blondie burst out laughing.

"Hah, she nailed you orange-top. Couldn't have said it better myself!" She extended a hand for me to hi-five. I smirked and took this as encouragement.

"Oh by the way, you have the wrong uniform. You're supposed to wear the girl's uniform ne?" Freak glared and rose preparing to beat me to a pulp before Princey intervened.

"Better quit while you're ahead baka neko before you reveal yourself to the whole school." A low voice grumbled from Princey that was, well...Very un-prince like. It was kinda a turn on, actually.

Freak growled and pulled his fist back ready to hit The Prince before something Prince said set in. He sat back down in a huff, and blatantly ignoring me the rest of lunch.

After the bell rang, blonde boy turned towards me and asked if I wanted to go with them after school to a horror film festival. Not being able to pass that up I joined them. For the first time my mind hadn't been on my Dad. For the first time I felt hope flutter in my chest. And for the first time, I realized...Friends aren't so bad.

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Haunting Heartbeats**

Crowds of people gathered to be scared outta their wits. For the heck of it I supposed. There was an plethora of people we were amongst, horror enthusiasts, hopeful psychos, and nervous wimps.

We were ushered into a Vincent Prince film, there were several levels of movies rated on their "intense scary factor." We planned to see them all. Mwahaha.

Tohru and Blonde Boy latched onto each other, leaving a gap of space between the two of them. Odd...Then again, ahem...Sohmas.

Prince and Cow were talking to each other as if they were old flames, I on the other hand had been stuck with Freak. Blondie and Creepy sat a few rows up front with Tohru and Blonde Boy.

The Dramatic sting hit a crescendo during the film's climax during a level 8 movie. Let's just say things got real.

Tohru and Bunny Boy had left around level 2, Prince and Cow were bored at level 5, Creepy left two levels back. All that left was Blondie, Freak, and Me.

At the worst part of the movie, I screamed and clung to the freak. _But_ , in my defense I usually did this with boys I went out with. Er, not that Kyo- Freak was my date or anything. Not even if he looked as beautiful as Prince or hot as Cow, I wouldn't give him the time of day.

Well Freak got pissy when I jumped in his lap and he flung me to the ground. She must be on her period.

"Dude what was that?!" I screeched, my face flaming red. I jumped to my feet and kicked 'her' in the shin. 'She' yowled, and this drew Blondie's attention.

"Keep it down would ya Orange-Top? I'm watchin a movie here." Freak and I stomped out of the theatre in opposite directions, we both had a bad temper but what can ya say?

I sought off in the search of the others and stumbled across The Prince. He plastered that smile on and turned to face me, "Miss Natsuyo, I thought you three had two more levels to go through." It dawned on me in that moment...This was his facade. I doubted he was really this kind, no man ever was what they seemed. I even had my doubts about Cow and Blonde Boy.

I simply huffed, "Not with that idiot. Hey, what happened to everyone else?" Yuki's smile faltered ever so slightly. Probably wondering when he could drop his act and leave the conversation.

"Haru (Cow) is in the bathroom with the assumption he found it, Momiji (Blonde Boy) and Miss Honda are with my cousin (Shigure) at the house...Maybe I should check on Haru," and with that Prince was practically in the wind in the blink of an eye, as if detesting any more seconds wasted talking to me.

Well whatever...His loss...

I turned on my heel only to bump into the Freak, a canon sounded and an orange cat now sat perched upon Freak's clothes. Wait a minute. Where'd 'She' go? And why does the cat have orange fur? Kinda like...Freak! I crouched down to 'her' level and 'her'- okay fine... _His_ eyes met mine. He said the single most romantic thing a girl could hear. Didn't know Freak had it in him.

"The hell you lookin at?" I could hear girl's sighing happily already. Hah. He glared with those crimson orbs of his. Yup, no doubt in my mind it was him.

"You...But, how-"

He growled and turned away in disgust. "Don't worry, I'm sure Hatori will have no problem takin your memories."

My memories? Hatori? Why did that name sound familiar? I chose to focus on his statement first and deal with the rest later. Anger rose in my chest, and it burned deeply.

"No way am I losing my memory. You tell this Hatori Dick I don't wanna. Care to explain to me why you turn into a cat?"

"No. Now go away." Glancing down at himself, the idiot realized his situation.

"Actually, first take me to the bathroom with my clothes before I-" But it was too late.

A naked Kyo stood before me in his tanned glory. Then that same naked Kyo whizzed by at breakneck speed...

Maybe it would be better to lose my memories.

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Breakdown**

So I stood there like a moron for half an hour before Prince who I know dub Jerk, and Haru eventually found me. I actually find Haru a cuter name than Cow. Jerk fixed his face to that of a concerned expression, but heck yeah I was wise to his act now.

"Miss Natsuyo, are you alright? You look like you've just seen a ghost?" I fought the nearly overwhelming urge to roll my eyes at his false concern. It was disgusting.

"I'm uh, I'm fine. I just..." Guess it'd be best to not say anything to them. "...Kyo tried to trip me. No worries, I fixed him up!" To emphasize my point I punched the air, with a an awkward smile. Jerk looked at me condescendingly and Haru chuckled. Sigh. That boy is even more _fine_ when he laughs. Jerk nodded as if to say, 'Okay psycho, you've made your point...Can I go now?'

"Uh, I think I'm gonna head home. He's in the bathroom...Probably crying cause I did a number on him. I think I'l head home. I have work tomorrow." Jerk simply nodded and Haru stepped forward.

Haru bowed and offered to escort me home. The heck? Why...He was acting like such a gentleman. Huh, must be the same as jerk-face over there. I warily agreed to his offfer much to Jerk's reluctance. What'd he think? I'd get lost?

Not even an hour later we were at my porch, the lights were out signifying my Mom sleeping inside. It was later than i thought. Glancing at my watch I realized it was nearly 1am.

"Uh. are you sure you can get back home on your own?" Haru cocked his head as if seriously considering my question.

"Good point. Mind if I stay here? I don't want to impose on you or anything." Looking into those grey, doe eyes of his...How could I say no?

I scavenged through the lining closet, and laid a blanket out over the couch. I placed two pillows from my room down to which Haru smiled in thanks. I couldn't help but smile back, that strange feeling from earlier was making its way back. What was it called? Indigestion? Maybe.

Before I could go anywhere, Haru grabbed onto my wrist. I peered at him curiously before he said..."Can I have some milk?" I think it would have been funnier had he said 'Got Milk?' With his cow like hair and all.

* * *

The next morning, Haru left before sunrise. The only sign of his being here was the folded up blanket and note placed on the couch.

 _Thanks for the milk._

 _-Haru_

Yeah, he was very weird. But, I like em' that way.

I quickly changed for work and left without bothering to utter a word to my Mom. She probably had an important case she'd been up late working on anyway. I was going about my regular shift. And in the last moment, five minutes before I clocked out...He showed up. My Dad, appeared out of nowhere. He sat in a booth and was waiting expectantly for someone to cater to him.

I rushed off to the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. My chest began to rise and fall heavily, I sucked in air harshly as my heart hammered in my chest.

What?...Why? Why was he here? Why now? He left us over a year ago and now what did he want?

The air in the bathroom had begun to grow more shallow with every sharp inhale. Instead of facing him, I unlocked the door and ran out of the place like it was on fire. I couldn't deal with this. Not today. Not now. I wasn't ready to see him. I wasn't ready to know why he left. Not yet. Not now.

I ran to my room and flopped on my bed, tears fell in steady streams as I cried into my pillow.

Why did he leave us to fend for ourselves? Did he find some bimbo to be with that would make him happy? Or...Did he just not want me?

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Jerk Face's Redemption**

Throughout the first half of school I spent it in the bathroom, on the roof, or in the library. I just didn't feel up to classes today. My Mom of course forced me to go. I think it should be a crime to force your daughter to go to school, if she don wanna.

And in case you are wondering, she doesn't know about the close run-in with Daddy Dearest yesterday. I was still broken up about it. My eyes were swollen and red from crying throughout the night and the beginning half of school.

I wore a hoodie over my uniform and pulled the drawstrings so my face was concealed. The former class president Mokoto will probably knock me for it..Pfft! Like I care.

Not wanting to sit with everyone at lunch, I chose to grab a soda from the vending machine, and dine with the four walls of the vacant hallway near the gym. Much like before I sipped from my Pepsi and leaned my head back to rest on the wall. My eyes slid shut once more, this time a lump in my throat had begun to form.

Great. Tears were already beginning to well up again. I don't know why this hurts so much. People lose their parents all the time.

As if my day hadn't already been miserable enough, guess who walked by?

Jerk-Face.

He stood before me, his head cocked in confusion.

"Miss Natsuyo? What are you doing here?" I rolled my eyes (even though he couldn't see because of my hoodie) and I turned away.

"None of your business." I said quietly.

Not taking the hint to leave me alone, the douche decided to sit next to me instead. The Nerve! He was silent for what seemed like ages before he started.

"Are you okay?" I flipped the hood off and turned to him sharply.

"You don't even care! Why do you keep bothering me?" His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What? I do care for you Miss Natsuyo...Why are you crying?" I was taken aback at this, not even realizing the wetness of my cheeks. How my eyes stung with fresh, hot tears, rolling down my cheeks and dripping to the floor.

"I...I..." My voice unsure, and broken. I couldn't even form a coherent sentence. My voice was thick, and my heart heavy. Yuki. Yes- Yuki, looked at me with compassion and sympathy. He reached over and swiped my tears with the pad of his thumb and drew me to my chest, he ensured there was some distance between us.

He must transform like Kyo...

He placed his chin atop my head and stroked my hair softly, as if were close friends. "Its alright," he said gently. And that was all it took before I broke down once more.

So...Jerk-Face...Isn't a jerk after all.

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Kiss, Kiss**

Yuki consoled me for the remainder of lunch before we parted ways. He had business to attend to for the school festival this afternoon and I, now felt okay enough to go to class. I don't know why Yuki helped me but...Can't say its not unwelcome now.

It felt so weird...That feeling I had with Haru, I felt with Yuki. Guess I can't blame indigestion. Hmm. Wonder if its heart burn.

Upon entering class I saw Creepy (still gotta learn that girl's name), Blondie (her as well), and Tohru playing Rich Man Poor Man by the window. Curiosity got the better of me and I walked over.

"Hey Kai, wanna join?" Blondie smiled and I nodded before taking a seat.

"Great! This is so fun!" Tohru cheered.

"Yes. What a lovely idea Arisa," Creepy concurred. Ah, so that was Blondie's name.

"Hey, lets up the stakes! We're all chicks here, no harm no foul if we play a little dirty."

"Um...What do you mean?" Tohru asked, caution creeping into her tone.

"I heard Orange-Top's workin the Kissing Booth. Whoever loses has to kiss him at the festival this afternoon. And! We all have to see." Arisa smiled deviously. I cringed at this idea, Tohru turned about fifty shades of red, Creepy simply smiled.

No way was I kissing Freak! Uh-uh! Over my dead body...Eww.

Who even roped him into doing that? Probably lost a bet too.

"Okay. But I'm gonna win so theres nothing to worry about," I said as I shuffled the deck.

* * *

Later that afternoon, the fair was in full swing and excited chatter filled the air.

We all gathered before the kissing booth to witness whom lost the bet, hold up their end.

Kyo, not knowing about what was happening, stood angrily with his arms crossed, face contorted in a snarl. He was probably thinking if he looked hateful enough, no one would want a kiss from him.

No worries, your face takes care of that Kyo.

Momiji sat atop Haru's shoulders for a better view, Tohru nervously stood between a smirking Arisa, and a very inrigued looking Saki. (Finally found out her name!)

I approached the booth and slapped down 200 yen. Kyo's eyes flashed angrily at me.

"The heck are you doing? I ain't kissin you!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah if I had a choice I'd pay you a penny...Maybe. So shut up and pucker up so I can get this crap over with." He narrowed his eyes in disgust before snatching up the cash.

He yanked me forward, and I swear the crowd drew in a breath. His eyes roamed over my lips as if this was his first kiss. Wait...Was it?

Slowly, and awkwardly our lips met in a kiss. The crowd erupted in a cheer as Kyo and I kissed. Never thought I'd say that.

His eyes snapped open realizing what he was doing and roughly pushed me off. "There. Now go away." He turned away, the same blush staining his cheeks as my own.

"Yeah... I'll do that." I walked off in a daze. Well, that is until Arisa waved a photo of us kissing in my face.

No way was I playing with her again.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Music Heals**

It was a rainy afternoon, and I spent most of the time holed up in the house reading a book. I had tried to distract myself from the kiss last week, nothing worked. Believe me I tried everything. Banging my head against the wall, scrubbing my lips with scalding hot water. Nothing. Worked.

Kyo and I avoided one another like the plague since it happened, we still hadn't talked about why he turned into a Cat. But I wasn't going near that...That...Weirdo.

I can't deny that the kiss was weird, being with the Freak and all. But, I kind of. Bleh. I liked it, a little. I think I can attribute that to temporary insanity, and oxygen deprivation. I liked the kiss...Not him.

Then why was I still thinking about it?! Argh!

I threw my hands up in the air out of frustration and decided to talk a walk and clear my head.

The rain had finally let up and the sun peeked through the clouds. On my walk I nearly bumped into Momiji, to which he giggled and bounced on his heels.

"Kai-Kai! Aren't you supposed to be on a date with Kyo?" My eye twitched at the boy's statement, and just as I was about to go in the other direction he tugged on the back of my coat.

"Wait! Do you wanna come with me? I'm practicing for a recital." Momiji spoke around the lollipop jutting out of his mouth, his amber eyes shining with mirth. I sighed and followed after him. Is it my fault I have a soft spot for boys? I blame it on Daddy Issues.

We approached a large estate with a golden plague engraved in the gate, "Sohma Residence" Wait. Ow. My head was now throbbing slightly, what the heck? Why does this seem familiar. Huh, probably walked by it before. But it doesn't make sense for my head to be hurting.

Momiji lead me to his house within the many others of the estate. Inside there was a small room holding a violin, music stand, and nothing else but a window and old chandeleir hanging above us.

Momiji bounded over and picked up the beautifully carved instrument. It had sexy curves, and engraved on the side were the initials M.S. Momiji lifted his bow and tightened it before applying rosin. He finger plucked the strings and turned the knobs to tune it to his satisfaction.

Then without introduction, he placed his chin on chin rest and drew his bow across the strings. Haunting notes sounded and he closed his eyes. And he played. I stood there entranced by the melancholy pieces he played. He played music contrasting to the sunny personality he had always shown.

I didn't see him as a boy. I saw him in his real age, of 15. He didn't seem like a little boy in this moment. He seemed hurt, and wounded.

Finishing, he looked to me with tears brimming his eyes.

"It...That was beautiful." I said, tears of my own starting to form. He nodded before setting the instrument down in its place.

"You played something sad though. It just seemed..."

"-Unlikely," Momiji finished for me, hugging his sides. I nodded and he sat down beside the violin. I promptly joined him.

"I planned to play that for my Mom one day. She...She doesn't want me...So I don't see her much." My heart panged out of empathy.

"My Dad left too." I said softly. He looked up surprised at my words.

"You seem so tough... Guess we both have something in common huh?" Momiji smiled slightly.

"Yes...Yes we do."

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: Its Time You Knew**

That evening I headed out to work with the hope of not running into my Dad. I think it was probably just a one time thing...

Oh how I hate to be wrong.

There he was, sitting in that same raggedy booth, one of our servers draped over him. Didn't look like 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' applied to him. No longer being able to restrain my rage and new onset of tears, I stomped over and stood before him. I looked to be the epitome of pissed. Teeth bared, hand on hip, and eyebrows furrowed. The only issue was the fact I was about to cry so I looked either _really_ constipated or like I was on my period...Kinda like Freak always seemed to be.

He looked up and his eyes widened in shock. This in turn caused Ginger (the server with the stripper name) to look up and jump back as if my Dad were something nasty. Well...Can't really argue with that heh.

"Uh...K-Kai, what are you doing here?" His eyes trailed down my outfit in bewilderment.

"Kai Kaname Natsuyo! What are you wearing?!" He screeched attracting attention from the other drunkards scattered throughout the cafe'.

Oh. Now you're concerned? Really. And was he _really_ that stupid?

"I work here. Better question is why you walked out on us and thought it would be okay? Is that what you thought. DAD. THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE HUNKY-DORY. CAUSE ITS NOT!" My voice rose with each syllable and my fists clenched.

He looked around and shushed me. He shushed me! As if he were the victim in this!

"Kai, can we talk about this somewhere a little more...Secluded?" I angrily tossed my apron on the counter and stomped out, my Dad following behind me in a run.

He followed me to an abandoned park when I finally turned to face him. "Well?" I tapped a foot impatiently and he shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably.

"I was hoping I could avoid this conversation. Your Mother and I agreed to do this." My Mom. Was he seriously putting his crap on my Mom? Like its her fault he wanted to be a dead beat Dad and go bang some strippers elsewhere. At least that's what I heard.

"Excuse me?" I asked trying to keep my tone level. He looked down and explained.

"You...Your memory was erased. You don't know-"

Wait. Memory erased? Kinda like what Kyo told me about? Did Hatori do it? Is that why my head hurt near that...Sohma estate?! Is that where it happened?!

"Wait, wait. Slow down. What are you saying?"

"Sweet- Er, Kai. After it happened, you were tormented every time you saw me or any man. Your Mother and I agreed to end your suffering and take you to get your memory erased."

"What happened to me?!" I inquired quietly. I don't know if I want to know anymore.

"You were-"

Just then a car rolled up next to us. The window rolled down and I saw him...I saw that face. My head throbbed painfully. Looking upon Akito's sinister smile. It hurt.

As he drove off I fell to the ground in a heap. My Dad called out to me in the distance but I couldn't respond.

The memory resurfaced. I don't know where Akito came from? I don't know why he looked at me that way. But, it made me remember...What happened a year ago.

 _After having left a concert, I was feeling a euphoric high. My two best friends Nao, and Hyeoseon and I parted ways. That was the best time ever, i had been looking forward to seeing the band for months. And then to find out my Dad secured tickets and backstage passes for my birthday tonight! It was just perfect. Perhaps I was too wrapped up in my own happiness to notice what went on around me._

 _I didn't expect what happened that night, to ever happen to me. I thought before it happened, it was just a statistic. It happened to other people and not to me._

 _I couldn't have been more wrong. And I hate that._

 _A hand clamped over my mouth and yanked me into an alley._

 _"Shhh." A voice whispered in my ear as I was slammed into a brick wall._

 _"Your Father should have held up his end of the deal. Now that he didn't follow through, he will pay. I made a promise to him...And I always. Keep. My. Promises. Nothing personal...Although you are beautiful." The man hissed as drew me to him, biting down on my neck. My eyes lolled to the back of my head as pain intensified._

 _He drew back for only a moment before he 'followed through.' He stole it from me. That night on my 15th birthday. He stole my virginity. I didn't know a thing but a face and a name. Overhearing one of my Father's conversations I knew him to be Akito._

 _I never would give it up to a man I loved. A man I liked...A man I knew._

 _No. My virginity became the closure to a business deal. My last piece of innocence had been my Father's saving grace._

 _Saving grace..._

 _Saving grace..._

 _My Father...I don't know what he did. Or what he didn't do...But it ruined me. And now...I remembered._

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: Another Statistic**

Returning back from my Memory Resurfacing Mishap, my Father was looking at me petrified of how I'd react. I backed away and looked at him warily. My Father sighed and walked away. He walked. Away. Didn't console me further. Didn't press it. Didn't offer to help me home. He left me there. Alone.

I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin atop them. I didn't cry that time. I didn't feel I was able to.

But what could I do? It happened...No wonder I slept with so many guys I didn't even know.

It happened before so what difference would it make at this point.

To say I felt empty was an understatement. I felt nothingness. A gaping void. I didn't know what would satisfy it.

Wait, yes I did. I would cope like I had after my Dad left. Guys always took my mind of things. In those moments I was too distracted by the fun to really think about much else. But...Would that work now? That Akito douche took it from me.

I guess prostitution really was my calling. I had to do something. The pain was too unbearable.

I reached into the pocket of my dress for my phone. I scrolled through my contacts to find someone. I went down the list to come up empty. Everyone was asleep or at a party or doing homework.

A panic attack was coming on and I knew it. I had to feel something. I can't...I can't feel like this. I don't like this. This emptiness...Loneliness. I needed someone.

For a moment The Sohmas flashed through my mind. But I can't. They're cursed from what I know and they don't seem like they'd like that kind of thing.

No longer having any options...I cried. My coping method when I needed it most...I couldn't have it.

So I lied there. On the grass as the moon loomed ahead. I eventually fell asleep, and even in my sleep I suffered of nightmares of that birthday.

Having been violated in every way. That was all I could think about.

Around ten in the morning I headed back home and flopped on my bed. My Mom was at work and everyone else at school. They probably noticed my absence but I didn't really care.

I was disgusting and covered in grime from the night before. But I didn't feel right to take a shower. I felt even if I took one, I would still feel awful. I was living a lie for over a year.

Miserable throughout the entire experience. Until...I met _them._

That band of weirdos. Freak, Prince, Cow, Blonde Boy, Perky, Creepy, and Blondie...

They were so kind to me. But would they treat me the same if they knew?

...

Did they know already?

Is that why they took pity on me?

Is that why Kyo hated me?

Why Haru stayed with me? So I wouldn't be alone?

Why Yuki consoled me?

Why Arisa and Saki helped me?

Why Tohru desperately tried to be my friend?

Why Momiji indulged that bit of his past to me?!

Did they know?...

Did they know I was another statistic?

* * *

 **Chapter Ten: Isolation Is The Name, Piss Off Is My Game**

The next day I trudged to school. Didn't bother saying a thing to my Mom. Just forced myself to go.

Why?

Because I had to know if they knew. I had to know something! I can't stand this devouring ignorance any longer.

Just as long as I was in full control of who touched me, and who didn't.

I'd be fine. Just...As long as no one touches me without permission. I'm fine.

Arriving at school I avoided them until lunchtime. I was mentally preparing for how the conversation would go. I imagined several scenarios in my head.

 _Me: Hey guys. Know I wasn't here yesterday and everything but uh...Do you guys know that I was effin raped? Is that why you even bother to talk to me?!_

So, I basically came up dry on how I would bring it up. Or maybe I shouldn't. Maybe its better off I play stupid before some other crap goes down.

At lunch, who I now dub 'Band of Weirdoes' flocked over to me. Tohru, Arisa, and Momiji with a barage of questions. Kyo stood off to the side pissed as usual, Haru was silent yet curious, Yuki simply looked slightly intrigued but more so mannerly.

"I'm uh. I was. Uh..." I couldn't think of what to say.

"I was...Working? Yeah! I was working late the night before so I ended up just skipping yesterday."

They all nodded in understanding although Yuki did try to lecture me on skipping like the old lady he acts like. I managed to silence him with a look though.

I found my place in front of the bark of the tree and the rest sat close by but not too close.

"So what plans do you guys have this weekend?" Arisa asked turning to Tohru and Saki.

"I'm not working this weekend." Tohru said cheerily and Saki nodded as if to say she wasn't doing anything either.

Momiji giggled before yanking myself and Kyo forward, and we banged heads.

"Ow." We chorused as Momiji cocked his head nervously.

"Oops. I just meant to bring the lovebirds closer together! Valentine's is this weekend after all!" Kyo suddenly turned ashen.

The eff was up with him? Not like he has to deal with girls liking him. He is too ug-lay!

"Its...Its Valentines?" He asked jumping to his feet.

"I gotta...I gotta go home! No, she'd find me there too! I...Oh hell! I'm going back to the Mountains!" He was about to dash off when Haru yanked him backward.

"What are you doing ya stupid cow? I gotta go before-"

"Kyooooo! Oh KYOOOO MY LOVE. I BROUGHT YOU AN EARLY VALENTINES LUNCH WITH CHOCOLATE!" A voice screeched in the distance.

Kyo backed away, fear written all over his face. I craned my neck to see some...Broad barreling towards Kyo at like, 95 miles per hour before she tackled him.

But...He didn't transform? What?

"Get off me! Kagura!" Kagura? Was she a Sohma?

"Oh Kyo!" Tohru jumped to her feet, clasping her hands together afraid of someone getting hurt.

Momiji giggled at the display and Haru walked off. I was torn between finding out what was up with him and finding out why he didn't transform.

Haru won out and I trailed after him. He stopped by the main office before finally noticing my presence.

He turned to face me but...His eyes were like nothing I'd seen before. They were this, haunting grey. They were dark and dauntingly sinister. Like Akito's.

I backstepped only to fall on my back. He lunged at me, only to stop right before touching me.

 **"Well, well. _Kai_. Isn't it weird? _She_ leaves and I come to find you. Didn't know I'd miss you so much after only a day."**

"She? Who's um." I gulped and tried to back up further. "Who's she?" Please tell me he wasn't about to take me? And on school grounds! Please don't tell me he's like Akito!

 **"Do you know how badly I want you. I know about your reputation. We all do. When were you gonna give me a chance hmm? When am I gonna get my turn at you?"**

 **"** Get. Get away Haru." I scrambled back on all fours before finally escaping in a run. I ran even though his tone shifted to a softer one. Even though he followed after me, a string of apologies tumbling out. I couldn't be around him

He reminded me of him...I don't know if I want to live that lifestyle anymore. What had been the norm for me, was now a terrifying nightmare.

I don't want to be around anyone. No one will touch me that way. No one will hurt me again.

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven: Thanks, I Think**

I was exhausted by the time I got home. My lungs burned ferociously, my legs felt like jelly and I could barely breathe. So yeah, things were pretty great!

I lost Haru ten minutes back, he seems to be prone to getting lost. Worked to my advantage this time.

Before _it_ happened, I was never really touchy-feely. Now I'm not so sure I want to be touched ever again. The mere thought of hugging makes me uncomfortable.

I glanced over at the calendar, the 14th of February blaring at me in red print. Momiji did mention that earlier didn't he?...Probably won't do anything tomorrow though. I don't feel up to dating. Bumming around the house is sounding better and better.

* * *

Valentine's Day (Saturday)

The sun was out and shining bright (much to my dismay), I intended to spend the day lying in bed, moping. My Mom on the other hand had other ideas.

Apparently my Dad explained the situation to her, so she no longer dances around my feelings. Now she is the optimistic, perky, up-beat, Tohru-y person.

Every chance she got she tried to get me to 'See the bright side of things.'

She ran upstairs and practically tackled me. "Kaiii! Come on girly! Don't you want to go out, do something?"

I rolled my eyes and tried to snatch the covers back, and cover my face once more. "No. Mother...I want to sleep, stare at the wall, and stuff my face until I explode. Kay thanks bye." She sighed and pulled the covers back and tossed them out of reach.

I shivered slightly due to the sudden lack of warmth. "Mom!"

"Look sweetie, I get what happened to you was traumatic and all. But, you should confront your fears, that's what my therapist says." Yeah Mom, okay. Why don't you fix your empathy issues and leave me be?

"I want you out of the house by noon. Call up those people you hangout with. Ta-ta." And with a bounce in her step, she made her exit.

Hah, if you only knew they were the Sohmas. Then you'd probably keep me on lock-down.

Begrudgingly, I took care of my hygeine crap, applied dark makeup, threw on a black leather jacket, black graphic tee, and black skinny jeans. After finding the pair of ankle boots shoved under my bed, I stepped out and headed into town.

* * *

I arrived at this funky cafe', with a serene atmosphere. The walls were draped in black wallpaper, the tables covered in velvet table-cloth, an accordionist lamented in the background in between routines, and there was a stool that took center stage for poets. Where poets could vent their feelings to strangers that wouldn't judge them.

I actually found it to be pretty cool. I found a seat in the far back and didn't expect for-

"What are you doing here?" Freak inquired, irritation imminent in his voice.

"Better question is why you're here?" His eyes widened and he fiddled with the multicolored beads on his wrist.

"T-Tohru's in the bathroom. She asked me to take her."

"Funny, I don't think she's in there." I retorted slyly.

"Like I gotta explain anything to you!" He banged his fist on the table and turned away from me.

"I was just wondering...Sheesh." We sat in silence for a few moments before he started again.

"Look...I'm. Well, I mean- I. Argh, I didn't mean nothin by it." Kyo explained as his venomous tone faded. I sighed and stood, offering a hand.

"Want to go somewhere? Theres this place I thought about going to, but figured it would be weird to go by myself." He stared at my hand as it would bite him.

"Its just a hand Kyo." His eyes darted to his beads and then back up to me, then to my hand again before taking it. Reluctantly, Kyo followed me out of the cafe' and we walked along the nearby pier, overlooking the ocean.

It was about five minutes before Kyo and I realized, we were still holding hands. I awkwardly jumped away from him, and kept a sensible distance between us. However, I didn't miss the pained look in his eyes. As if I rejected him..

"Its not you. I guess. I just, I'm dealing with something. Okay?" Kyo shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"You don't gotta tell me. I don't want to hold hands with you." There it was. That familiar pain, burrowed in my chest. That burdensome feeling that seemed to never leave.

Feeling tears welling up, I decided to shift the sadness to anger. Anger felt more comfortable than being sad ever did.

"Good, cause I don't want to either. I _hate_ cats anyway." Kyo stopped in his tracks and turned sharply towards me.

Ok, maybe that was a bit much.

"You're not the first, and you're not the last. I couldn't care less about how a _slut_ feels about me." The words hit me like bricks, they stung much more than what he said before.

"What kind of a person bangs everything that moves? A whore." I shoved him as the tears spilled over my cheeks.

"Shut up! Shut up...You, you jerk." My knees gave out and I fell to the ground, shaking with tears. I couldn't stop crying. It hurt too much, it was too soon. It was too much.

I drew the attention of others but I didn't care. My vision was too blurred with my tears to see anyway.

I heard a voice, it sounded like the moron's but I wasn't sure. I was too distracted by the overwhelming and unbearable shame. I couldn't-

"Stop crying." His voice broke into my thoughts.

I glanced up at him through teary and puffy eyes.

"Stop crying...I hate it when girl's cry... I didn't mean what I said." He kneeled so that he was facing me directly.

I sniffed and wiped my tears away before punching him in the arm. "Idiot."

He smiled slightly, out of relief or something else I wasn't sure. But he ruffled my hair before helping me up.

"Thanks...I think."

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve: Stay**

For the remainder of the evening, I spent it with Freak. Er, I mean Kyo...

Nah, I think I'll stick with Moron.

Anyways, after grabbing some food we decided to chill on the beach for the rest of the time. The sun was setting, and it reflected over the water in hues of pinks, oranges, and blues. It was quite the view actually.

Kyo looked over at me, I looked at him. He reached for my hands and we gazed lovingly into one another's eyes. And then, our lips met. It was a better kiss than the one at the fair. This time it had meaning, it was an intimate moment that forever closed the rift between us. We loved each-other and no one could thwart our love. Not even Kagura!

...

Did I seriously just joke about that?

Moron and I actually spent most of the time arguing. But, no longer able to contain my curiosity I pressed the question once more.

"So, why do you turn into a cat? You never told me..." He sighed and dug his heel into the sand uncomfortably.

"Why should I tell you? Do you seriously want your memory erased."

"Yes." I replied. He raised an eyebrow at this.

Yes, actually I would love to forget. I would love to forget what happened to me. I don't want to remember what that bastard did to me. Maybe its for the best.

"Why? I mean, wait-" He looked to be debating with himself.

"I don't blame you. We're freaks, I know." Kyo muttered sadly before turning back to face the water. I've noticed something about him today. He looks like he almost...Expects to be rejected or something. He seems so lonely. I thought he was just some kinda idiot but, there was more to him than I realized. Looking at his orange hair blazing, as the moon rose...It seemed different to me now. The way his black shirt was slightly unbuttoned, and fitted his form...I felt what I thought to be heartburn...Maybe I. Maybe I like Haru and Yuki. Ew. That would mean I like...I like...K-Kyo. Why me?! Yeah I was one confused chick.

Guys won't fix my problems, I know...I just, can't help it.

"Yes...You are." Kyo flinched and I failed to stop myself from smiling. "- _But_...You're my freaks." He looked at me like I grew three heads or something. Hesitantly, he crossed over so that he was standing before me.

He was closer than I was really okay with so, I couldn't help but take a step back.

"Then why do you want to forget? And why don't you want us near you?"

"You didn't answer my question!" I cut in to divert him.

He rolled his eyes before launching into the Sohma Zodiac transformation explanation. Now everything made more sense. That would explain Haru's Cow-like hair. Heh.

"Your turn," Kyo reminded me with a sly grin. That...That baka!

"Because there's something I remember that I don't want to anymore. Okay?" He looked at me like I just told him I killed someone.

"...You know?" What?

"What do you mean Kyo?" He stared at his feet before meeting my eyes once more. "You remember what he did to you?"

So they did know! Or at least he did...But if he did, then the rest of them know what Akito did to me.

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen: After All This Time**

Kyo's eyebrows knitted together out of what seemed like genuine concern. Kyo was probably worried about the rammifications of his thoughtless explanation. So was I. Now I didn't know what to do. Not only did people as sweet and innocent as Tohru know I was tainted. But the fact that the boys I sorta kinda liked knew of my weakest moment...Oh that was just the icing on the cake!

I sighed and sank back to the ground- or sand rather, and attempted to stop the flow of questions that just wouldn't stop.

"I...I shouldn't have said anything. Are you okay?" I peered up at Kyo, skepticism written all over my face. And yet, I didn't feel angry. I actually felt relieved. It was like I had been the butt of a joke and had just now been let in on it.

Standing once more, I lead Kyo away from the beach haven in silence. Even though I felt awkward about everything from start to finish, I wasn't upset with anyone. Or at least not them. Akito I was seriously furious and disgusted with.

Although I still reeked of shame, I still felt better than when I had originally left the house.

Noticing Kyo's still sullen expression, an idea popped into my head.

"Hey, last one to my place is Yuki's lovah!" And then took off in a run. Lame, I know. But I couldn't help it.

My statement got Kyo to run as if he were on fire. I was well aware of the on-going feud. The tension was so thick whenever they were both in the same room. It was actually pretty hilarious to see Kyo run like that.

Maybe someone should tell the moron he runs like a girl.

* * *

It was now Saturday and my Mom was still snoring in the room adjacent from mine. I sneaked past and thankfully didn't wake her up. I didn't wanted to be bombarded with a bunch of her cliche' positive quotes for that day.

My personal favorite though..."You can't fix yourself by breaking someone else." That always cheered me right up!

I decided to stop by my favorite general store on the corner of the street. I grabbed a bottle of Ramune, two boxes of Strawberry Pocky, and a tiny book I knew Kyo would just _love_.

 _"Oh Rats!"_ A book all about his favorite rodent. I think he'll squeal with happiness.

I didn't expect to see Yuki browsing the mini book selection though. I bounded over and cleared my throat before speaking in a manly voice, "Excuse me sir, but you looking _fin_ e!" Yuki turned to face me, cheeks flaming and eyes wide. I gotta admit, I felt pretty comical today.

"Miss- Miss Natsuyo?...What are you doing here?" I glanced down at my Japanese treats before meeting his gaze.

"...To indulge! I'm tempted to shove my face in a tub of ice cream but, I can settle." Yuki laughed lightly before ushering me to the checkout line. He paid for both of our purchases like the gentlemanly old lady he was.

"Uh, you didn't have to...But I'll take it!" I snatched the bag from the irritated checkout lady and dashed off before Yuki could change his mind. He simply chuckled and followed behind me, a book tucked into the crook of his elbow.

We walked in comfortable silence for a time before he turned to me, and we both came to a halt.

"Miss Natsuyo, I believe the stupid cat- Uh, Kyo told you about our knowledge of..." I held up a hand before he could finish.

"Yeah. But uh, I'm not comfortable talking about that so-"

"Oh! Yes, of course! I apologize for coming off intrusive, I had no intention of making you uncomfortable." I laughed and placed a hand on his forearm gently.

"Its cool. I didn't expect to see the Prince at such a commoner's store though," I said with a giggle. Wait, why am I giggling?

"I'll take that as a compliment...I suppose. Although the nickname is very unbecoming. It makes me seem like some sort of arrogant, rich, snob." I waved a hand as if to say that were nonsense.

"Yuki please, you're like the sweetest boy in school. Well...Besides Momiji. Most other guys are womanizers so, you are far better by comparison. And I hardly dish out compliments for free." Yuki chuckled once more and held up his hands in surrender, book delicately balanced under his arm.

"Alright. And to explain, I had picked up a book on what crops grow best this time of year. It is Spring next month but I still want something for my secret base to stay lively." I couldn't help but gape.

"You have a secret base? For real? Dude thats awesome!" Why was I so perky this morning? Tohru must have rubbed off on me...Or Mother.

"Actually its a garden. You're welcome to look if you like," His eyes twinkled with amusement as a result of my girlish antics. I gestured as if to say, "Lead the way."

We spent the entire afternoon laying down fertilizer, pulling weeds, watering the crops, harvesting the ones that were ready and planting some more buckwheat.

"That should do it. Thank you for assisting me Miss Natsuyo."

Just as I was about to offer up a 'You're Welcome' I noticed his dirt streaked face and couldn't help but burble with laughter.

"What?" Yuki raised an eyebrow curiously.

In answer I leaned over and pecked his cheek.

"Nothing...Nothing at all."

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen: It's Alright, Its Ok**

Yuki was bewildered, confused, and...Creeped out? I dunno. All I know is he looked like I slapped his Mama.

"Uh...Dude, are you alright?" Pink tinted his cheeks and he cast his gaze on the soil of the newly planted buckwheat. Buckwheat must have been pretty interesting to stare at for five minutes.

"Yu-Yuki?" Great, concern was edging into my voice. Now he might die of a heart attack. No, wait. That would be Tohru.

"I'm uh...That was. I, sorry. Miss Natsuyo. I understand that you might have _budding_ feelings for me-" Um. Ew. Who uses words like budding? I haven't heard that word since learning about being a _budding_ woman, going through puberty when I was twelve. And why was he assuming crap? Sure I liked him...Maybe. But he didn't have to know that!

"Yuki? Calm your tits. I think of you of as a friend. Really. Chill." He breathed a sigh of relief. Relief! Was I that horrible? I mean, I was attractive?...Or maybe guys just liked to get off, maybe it was about that and not about how I looked. I wasn't smart...I barely pulled a C in any of my classes...That was depressing. What really was there to me? I wasn't kind like Tohru, tough like Arisa, mysterious like Saki, energetic like Momiji, or assertive like Kagura. I was just a normal chick.

"Are you alright?" I absently noticed the pale hand waving in front of my face to grab my attention. But after my revelation, my heart dropped to my stomach. What was different about me? I was plain really.

And in that moment, I walked away. Yuki called after me but I ignored it. Tears had begun to flow and I wasn't about to break down in front of him again. Why did it just now hit me? I mean, I knew prostitution had been my original plan because my lack of intellect sucked. But now, I realize there is nothing about me that sets me apart from the rest.

Nothing...

* * *

Yuki called. Kyo called. And I ignored them. I had temporarily mulled over the fact Kyo and I didn't hate each other now since he knew what happened. But...I just wanted to be alone. Why did they even pursue me? They could chase after any girl. And once people got past Kyo's face, and his angry attitude, he was pretty great.

But me...There was honestly no hope.

A knock sounded from the door, I smothered my head with pillows like I had that morning not too long from now.

"Please go Mom."

"Um...Kai, its me," The nervous voice squeaked. Out of surprise I sat up.

Was I imagining things?...Or did that sound like Tohru. I made my way to the door and slid it open.

It was...And she held something behind her back. I let her in and after glancing around for any sign of my Mother, I closed the door behind us.

"I heard you were upset so, I thought I would bake you some cookies and bring some comedies. Oh! And romantic movies. We could watch them together. If you'd like?" Tohru bowed her head and extended the offerings as if I were about to strike her.

I crossed over and patted her head before excepting. "Thank you...Sweet Tohru. You can join me y'know." I gestured from where I sat on my bed. Perking up, Tohru bounced over and joined me.

We watched three cheesy, horribly written rom-coms when she finally spoke.

"Kai? Are you okay?" That seemed to be the million dollar question nowadays. I didn't even know the answer to that. Did I really deserve to feel bad about anything? A Plain, Slutty, Jane was all I was.

"I'm..." Then came the waterworks. Gosh, I might as well have been pregnant with how much I cried these days.

Tohru rubbed my back soothingly as I cried until there was nothing left. "I just feel horrible. Like, I really don't have much."

"What do you mean?" She cocked her head in that cute way Momiji did.

"There's nothing special about me. No one wants to be around some regular Jane Snuffy when they could have someone as kind and cute as you." Tohru waved her hands frantically in protest.

"Kai! I'm really not cute. Really!"

I scoffed, "You do realize modesty makes you come off as even more adorable. Tohru, I wish I could be like you..."

Her stared at me, eyes bugged out as if this were the most ridiculous notion in the world.

"Kai! You're so beautiful, and funny. I couldn't make a joke if I tried. You look...Um.. _Sexy_. I don't have a body like yours." Tohru blushed and I couldn't help but pull her into a hug. Dang, cute, chick. She was like a baby sister to me.

"You don't have to flatter me love."

"But I'm not! The way guys look at you, how you can make anyone laugh, you always get dates and you're so confident. You're an amazing person."

I thought her words over for a few silent moments.

And for the first time that day, I actually smiled.

* * *

Around lunchtime the next day, I was feeling pretty good. Tohru was great at making people feel better about themselves. The girl was practically a godsend yesterday. After feeling low for so long, I decided to at least try looking at myself in a different light. It will be hard but I'll give it a shot.

On my way to our usual eating spot, I spotted Haru leaning against the school building. He looked to be in a daze, his hair ruffled, eyes a disheartening and unerving grey, and his hand...Was dripping blood?!

I rushed over, deciding to push the thought of our last time together away, and inspected his hand.

I turned it over and finally we met eyes. "Haru. What the heck happened? We need to treat your hand before it gets infected!" He appeared to be taken aback that I was even speaking to him. That quickly faded though, and was replaced with a guilt ridden expression.

"No...This is how it ought to be."

"What?" I said barely above a whisper.

"Nothing..." Haru muttered turning away from me. I felt my stomach twist in knots realizing...He really _didn't_ care. He believed the nonsense he had been spewing.

I yanked him along without warning and into the boy's bathroom. I checked under each stall before rushing back to Haru. I rummaged inside my bag before pulling out my first aid kit.

"You carry that around?"

I rubbed my neck sheepishly, "Yeah, heh. I'm kinda klutzy." I dug out the gauze, antiseptic, and set to work. I figured it wasn't bad enough for him to need stitches so I figured it would be okay. As I began wrapping the gauze he spoke, "You're not mad at me?...For what I did to you?" I looked up at him, that feeling returned.

"Kyo told me about that. I understand that you didn't have control and you wouldn't have done that under normal circumstances. Plus I'm used to it."

"Why?" Haru asked as if it were simple.

I decided to ignore his question and avoided his gaze, "There. All better. Now, mind telling me what happened in the first place?" Now it was Haru's turn to feel awkward.

"It was my fault I nearly hurt you. It was my fault for hurting my hand going black this morning. And it was my fault for...Driving my girlfriend away." I looked back up at him, curiosity nearly overwhelming me.

He had a girlfriend? Who was she? What was she like? Was she pretty? Why do I care?...

Before I could say anything more, the door handle began to turn. Someone was coming! Without thinking I pushed Haru into a stall and rushed in after him, locking it.

Hopefully the kid would use the urinals and not even think to look our way.

Haru and I were in close proximity, nearly chest to chest in the tiny stall. I could feel his warm breath on my neck, it was almost intoxicating. I hadn't been this close to a guy since...I didn't even remember when. And instead of feeling afraid, it felt...Really nice.

Haru glanced down at me with his cloudy grey eyes, and I stared back with my crystal blues. After hearing the bathroom door shut, signifying the boy's departure, I broke away and unlatched the stall.

"We should probably go...The others are waiting." And because the longer I'm around you, the more tempted I might be.

Haru nodded, and in silent agreement we walked side by side to our usual lunch spot.

And I knew then...Things had forever changed between Kyo, Yuki, Tohru, Haru, and I.

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother**

A week later, Tohru invited me to The Sohma household for a sleepover. Saki, Arisa, and Tohru decided to drag me along to and apparently we were going to give each other makeovers. It was very uh...Cliche'. But I guess it would be pretty fun to dress up Tohru in something outrageously sexy and edgy. Oh! And it would be pretty funny to see Saki wearing bright colors. And Arisa in a dress, what a sight that would be.

Tohru brought us to some shop, allegedly owned by Yuki's brother. Funny, I didn't even know he had one.

The shop was filled with Cosplay Costumes ranging from Nurse to Teacher. To me it looked like some kinda role-playing shop.

A tall, brunette, woman scurried over to us and whipped out measuring tape. The light glinted off of her glasses, and she began taking our measurements before we could even get a word in edgewise.

She had an I-mean-business air about her so I didn't bother saying anything. "Very well. Ayame! They're all perfect for your new spring collection!" The lady hollered to someone in the dressing room.

"AHAHAHAHA! How wonderful Mine! Just delightful!" An overly cheery voice screeched as the dressing room door slammed open. The voice matched the flamboyant man's stature. He was wearing a cream colored wedding dress, a veil was draped over his face, and he held a bocquet of roses in his hands.

So Yuki's brother...Was a cross-dresser?

The strange man shuffled over to us and looked us up and down before clapping excitedly. "What brings all of you beautiful princesses here? To my shop of all places. Not that I blame you."

This guy was the complete opposite of Yuki. Hah, can't wait to nag him about it.

"Well, we were hoping to give each other makeovers and crap." Arisa summed it up, peering at Ayame warily. Mine twirled her hair excitedly.

"Boss! This would be the perfect chance to hone my transformation skills! I would love the make them look completely different."

Ayame tapped his chin thoughtfully before placing a hand on his hip, "Are you sure you're up to the challenge?" With a hurried nod from Mine, Ayame's lips stretched into a wide smile.

"Very well. You all are in good hands. I would help but I have to finish some alterations. Ta-ta!" And with that, the flamboyant brother of the Prince was gone.

Mine turned towards Tohru first and dragged her off to a gothic lolita clothing section. "Come Miss Tohru. We will make you a Dark Queen!"

* * *

Around five, we were all completely made up and made over. Tohru held a black parasol in one hand, a large black bow sat atop her head, she wore a black knee-length cotton and silk dress, a matching petticoat had been draped over her shoulders, fingerless gloves covered her hands, black stockings, and pair of black platform heels completed the outfit. Eyeliner had been painted over her eyes, a wing swung away from her eyelashes, her lips were now a deep purple, and she had pink blush lightly brushed over her cheeks.

She looked...Gorgeous! I don't know how, but the girl still looked extremely adorable.

Arisa had on a frilly pink dress, pink parasol, and white stockings, she adorned white silk gloves, and white Mary Janes.

She shot me a look as laughter began to burble out. I barely managed to stifle the oncoming bout of laughter.

Saki on the other hand had her hair pulled back by a light blue headband, she had a white crop top, dark blue high-waisted jeans, and light colored wedges. Saki didn;t say anything, although we all knew she was internally suffering wearing so many pastels and light colors. It was as nightmarish for her as it was for Arisa.

Tohru kindly took her look in stride, I on the other hand...Looked kind of...Beautiful. But stupid nonetheless.

Mine had dressed me in this red strapless, sweetheart topped dress, it barely reached my knees, and she paired it with light pink eye-shadow, a deep scarlet lipstick, and light pink blush.

We all looked...Like idiots. But, it wasn't like anyone would really see it...Right?

* * *

Well, I was wrong once again. For some reason, Momiji thought it would be cute to come over. Of course, Haru wasn't far behind. Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo all just so happened to stay home that day.

Unsuspectingly we all arrived at Shigure's. They all looked up as we entered. Of all days dangit! I swear all of their mouth's dropped. I wasn't sure if was due to Tohru's dark look, the fact Arisa looked like a pansy, Saki looked sorta normal, or the fact I wasn't dressed like a slob. Maybe it was all of the above.

But I learned my lesson that day.

Never, ever, _ever_ go to Ayame's shop again. Nope.

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen: Quiet As A Mouse**

Arisa snapped her fingers as an attempt to grab their attention.

This however didn't stop Shigure from practically undressing us with his eyes. Sick.

Thankfully, the boys all managed to stop looking at us like we were freaks long enough to eat dinner.

We have Tohru to thank for that.

But Shigure just couldn't resist making comments.

"Wow. So many highschool girls at one table. I think I must be the richest man in the world!" The pervert fanned himself only to have two fists slammed into his head. Kyo and Yuki were both shooting him cold glares, Haru simply continued to eat in silence, and Momiji broke out into a fit of giggles.

"Shut it mutt." Kyo's stabbed a fork into his steak angrily.

Weird he's eating that around Haru. But then, he was eating steak himself...

"Ladies! Are you going to let these mean, mean boys rough me up like this?" Shigure whimpered from the floor. Saki shrugged, Arisa snorted and continued eating, Tohru looked overly concerned as usual.

"Stop it, you're getting Miss Honda worked up for nothing," Yuki scolded harshly.

I sighed exasperatedly and forced myself to get through the tiresome meal.

* * *

After eating, Kyo decided to go up to the roof, the girls rushed upstairs with Momiji in tow, Shigure left to his study, and Haru decided to chill on the couch. Not wanting to get a headache I decided to plop down next to Haru. It had been a week since we last spoke.

"Hey...Kai." Haru began. "Would it be alright if my cousin stayed with you? She's been too upset to go home." Cousin? Wait...His girlfriend?! No. How could I house his ex-girlfriend when I didn't know how I felt towards him myself? I was jumping to conclusions though, he had like two other cousins.

"Uh...What's her name?"

"Kisa." Haru stretched his legs out in front of him.

Oh. Well I feel dumb. I heard about Kisa. She was the Tiger of the zodiac. She was only a first year in middle school. Yuki told me that she had been bullied and stopped speaking, Tohru somehow managed to give her an encouraging enough pep talk to find her voice once more.

Dramatic but true. To be honest I felt sorry for the girl. I knew full well what its like to be teased. Too well...

"Oh. So um...If you don't mind my asking, why me?"

Haru shook his bangs out of his eyes and said, "Well I thought of you first. If you want she can stay with Tohru. I just thought you could meet her since she's so important to me and all..."

"No! Its fine! I'll do it. I was just surprised you picked me. That's all." My face was heating up, I hoped it went unnoticed.

Haru simply gave me a half-smile before walking off.

* * *

The next day the doorbell rang around ten that morning. I was hanging out of the bed, my hair plastered to my face, pajamas wrinkled, and I had a serious case of morning breath.

"Kaiii! You have a gentleman friend here! And a sweet girl of his." My eyes shot open at the news. Crap. I completely forgot about Kisa.

As quickly as I could, I finger-combed my hair, threw on a sweatshirt over my tank-top, gargled some mouthwash and stumbled downstairs.

"You rang?" I asked, hunched over desperately trying to catch my breath.

Haru chuckled slightly before throwing an arm around Kisa. She had golden short locks, amber colored eyes with gold flecks, and she was such a beautiful little girl. Are all Sohma's that gorgeous?! Well...Kyo's the exception I suppose.

"Kisa, this is Kai. You'll be staying with her until you feel better okay? If you need anything else just call me or Tohru." Haru ruffled her hair before heading out.

Kisa tentatively raised her hand in a timid wave, I smiled unable to contain myself.

"Hey sweetie. Is there anything you want to do? Oh, well we have to unpack first of course!" Kisa perked up slightly, I guess I reminded her of Tohru. I wonder how close they are.

Just as we were about to head upstairs, my Mother peeked out from around the corner with a devious grin, "That boy seemed so nice." And with an evil cackle she stalked off. I had no idea what she had in mind but...I'm scared. I hope she didn't think Haru and I were seeing eachother. Cause' we're not...

* * *

Kisa seemed to be mesmerized by my bedroom for whatever reason. My room was really suckish although I tried to make it Kai-ish.

I painted this purple backdrop with a black city skyline for a mural. I tacked pictures of My Mother and I along the walls and some of the ribbons I won from art competitions. Otherwise my room was blah with some perfume bottles scattered on my bookshelf, and empty candy wrappers throughout my room.

"Did...Did you paint this?" Kisa squeaked as she pointed to the wall. I nodded and her lips stretched into a genuine smile.

"I like it." Kisa nervously sat down on the bed we would be sharing, and she crossed her legs.

I decided to sit down next to her and wait for her to say something. Catching sight of her twiddling with her hands I decided to speak up.

"Y'know Kisa. I don't really know you but...Whatever those jerks teased you for is a load of bull. You have beautiful hair, and I'd love to have eyes like yours. Your voice is sweet and it sounds like music to me. There is nothing. Wrong. With you. Okay?" Kisa still looked slightly unconvinced.

She would be a tough nut to crack. I wasn't trying to emulate Tohru but I did want to help the girl.

After decades of silence, she said softly, "Haru was right about you. You are very kind." Haru told her about me?...That makes sense, he probably had to explain she wasn't going to be staying with some off the rails, murderous, psycho...At least I hope I'm not.

I nodded and she must have realized I looked skeptical. "He talks about you a lot. That you're funny and beautiful. Plus you're the only girl besides sissy he cares to be around anymore." I was actually really touched. Haru really talked me up. But why?

Kisa simply smiled and nervously and very awkwardly embraced me. I gradually returned the hug and patted her head.

"I'm glad I get to stay with you Kai-Nēchan" Tears sprung to my eyes for the millionth time that month. Dang band of weirdos...Ugh, I'm such a softie.

* * *

Kisa and I spent the week together talking about Haru, Kyo, Yuki and even Sohmas I had yet to meet.

I found out that Yuki actually hates his bro, like...Despises him. They are complete opposites in demeanor so I can't say its that surprising.

Ritsu, Hiro, Kureno, and Rin were the only main Sohmas I had yet to meet. Although judging by how Rin treated Haru I'm not so sure I want to..

I was heartbroken to say the least when Kisa left. That girl had grown on me, and I promised her she could visit anytime she wanted. But if Hiro didn't start taking care of her, I promised to kick his butt.

I've always wanted a sibling, so its quite nice.

I do feel really lonely without a Dad around and a Mom thats constantly working. So, its really awesome to have the band of weirdos in my life. Instead of having to sleep around for closeness, I can just have friends and be fine.

But there was still a few problems that remained.

One of them being...My feelings for the Sohma boys.

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen: The Beast Strikes Back**

Its now Spring Break and upon arriving home, I realized...I have no plans whatsoever. I don't know why I'm that amazed, this had been the norm for me. I flopped on my bed and hung upside down. Maybe I should just wait until the blood rushes to my head, at least then I wouldn't be bored outta my skull.

Rapping sounded from my bedroom door. My Mother doesn't knock?...

Springing up, I flung open the door to see Tohru and Kagura!

"Hi Kai." Tohru bowed graciously. Kagura on the other hand barged in like she owned the place, she perched on my bed and tossed her cat backpack off to the corner of my room.

"...Come in..."

"Thanks." Kagura smiled triumphantly. Tohru shortly joined her and I closed the door behind us.

I hadn't really interacted with Kagura. Other than seeing her ambush Kyo, I'd never even heard her speak.

I reached underneath my bed for my candy stash. I was a sugar and caffeine addict, I always had a box full of junk foods, energy drinks, and sugar cubes.

I extended the box to the two girls, Kagura reached for a Vault (Probably a huge mistake for the crazed boar), and Tohru grabbed a stick of red licorice. I grabbed a few gummy worms before getting down to business.

"Do you guys need something or-"

"We're all staying at the hot springs for two days then going to our Summer Home. Shigure told us to ask if you could come. Something about highschool girls and swimsuits," Kagura explained around a mouthful of a snicker bar I didn't even see her take. The theif.

"Well, I have to check my very busy schedule. But, I'm sure I could take some time out." I stated nonchalantly. Kagura glanced at my restrained eager posture before focusing her attention on grabbing more candy.

"Thats wonderful Kai! Kagura and I wanted to take you bathing suit shopping...If you want our help, that is." Tohru clapped excitedly. I twitched my nose, thinking the idea over.

"Fine. Just so long as its not Ayame's shop."

* * *

Our bathing suit shopping venture was proving quite fruitless for the first hour. We spent one hour in the same botique to come up empty-handed. They were either too pink, too loose, too tight, too tacky, or too flimsy.

After another half hour, I finally spotted the perfect bikini for myself.

It was a halter top, blazing red with silver accents. It didn't look too cheap, and the material seemed to be good enough to withstand water. Unlike the first three we found..

Tohru grabbed a white and pink one piece combo. Kagura picked out a more daring two piece that fitted her form perfectly. I couldn't help but notice it was as bright orange as the moron's hair.

We grabbed shades, sunscreen, and beach towels before calling it a night. Kagura was too hocked up on the energy drink and candy from earlier so we all decided to bother Kyo, Yuki, and Shigure before crashing at my place.

* * *

Today was the day of our Spring Break Getaway!

I picked out an over-size t-shirt to wear over my bikini. Apparently they decided to go to the beach house and then end off the trip at the hot springs.

Tohru, The Sohmas, and I all boarded the bus to the Sohma Summer Home. Hatori had been dragged along and let's just say I avoided Akito's crony throughout the entire trip over. No way was I even getting within an inch of him again.

It was three in the afternoon by the time the long trip came to an end.

Kagura latched onto Kyo, Momiji dragged Tohru and I down to the beach, Hatori and Shigure headed to the porch for their mid afternoon smoke, Haru and Yuki trailed behind us at a snail's pace, Hiro and Kisa walked alongside them.

Momiji splashed about the water and squealed, "Tohruuuuu, Kai-Kai! Come on! Let's swim ja!" I shrugged and took Tohru's hand and lead her to were Momiji was screeching like a banshee.

I honestly don't understand the appeal of beaches since I've never been. But I guess its kinda okay.

Tohru and Momiji engaged in a splash brawl (Momiji began it of course). Kyo tried to intervene but Kagura was latched firmly onto his waist.

"Get off me woman!" Kyo yelled, getting red in the face. He spun on his heel and grabbed onto Kagura's arms trying to fling her off.

"Hey Kyo! Nice ballet!" I hollered in his direction.

He glared at me before giving up and flopping down on the sand. Kagura stamped her foot and her eyes twinkled dementedly.

"GET UP KYO! I'M YOUR WIFE! LISTEN TO ME!"

"I'M NOT MARRIED TO YOU! I ONLY SAID YES BECAUSE YOU THREATENED ME!" Kyo scrambled to get out of Kagura's sight.

"THATS TOUGH LOVE. YOU WERE BEING STUBBORN THAT DAY IDIOT! KYOOOO COME HERE! LET ME LOVE YOU!" The boar was hot on his heels as he tried to escape.

"NO!" And the two disappeared off to the direction of The Sohma hosue.

I rolled my eyes and directed my attention to Hiro and Kisa playing in the sand. I crossed over to them and lifted up an empty pail lying by Hiro's foot.

"Mind if I help you guys build a sand castle? I've never done it before." Hiro's face contorted to an angry, glare. He looked up and the look of disgust faded away.

His staring had begun to make me uncomfortable after a few minutes.

"...What? Something wrong with my face?" Hiro brushed the sand from his knees and stood. He circled me, glancing up and down.

"Huh, you actually don't look like a twelve year old. You're kinda hot. I approve." He clucked his tongue and sat back down to join Kisa.

My face turned ten shades of red. "Excuse me?"

Hiro rolled his eyes as if it were obvious. "I said you look hot. You can watch us if you like." He said with a smirk I wanted to slap off. I swear if he calls me toots I'm high-tailing it outta there.

He probably gets that crap from Shigure.

"Um, dude you have a girlfriend...Your own age." Hiro glanced at the now blushing Kisa before casting an angry look on me.

"Thats none of your- She's not my girlfriend. Butt out!"

I scoffed at his ironic statement before deciding to just leave it alone. Besides, Yuki and Haru were probably better to hang out with than the little brat anyway.

Yuki was lying on his stomach, propped up on one elbow, reading a book. Typical. Haru on the other hand, stretched out beside him, taking in the sun's rays.

I lied a towel down next to them and stretched out on my stomach. "Hey Haru. Yuki." Haru grunted in acknowledgement before staring at the sky once more.

Yuki smiled at me before going back to his book.

"I was just telling Yuki he should race Kyo. It would be a way to avenge me for the unfair fight I had with him." Haru sulked and I couldn't help but laugh.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea. It would be even greater if you threw in a wager of some sort." I waggled my eyebrows mischeviously.

Haru tapped his chin in thought. "Hmm...But what?"

Yuki sighed and tried to hide himself behind his Gardening 101 book.

"I got it!" Haru snapped his fingers. "Whoever loses has to dress up like a girl."

"Wow Haru, you're more of a mastermind than I am." Haru and I fist bumped triumphantly.

Oh this would be great. Mwahaha

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen: This Is It**

Yuki and Kyo lined up on the edge of the coast and knelt down to starting positions. Haru blew a whistle to start the race. (Where'd he even find that?!)

The cat and rat bolted down the beach at hurtling speeds. Yuki was incredibly fast but Kyo seemed to have an edge on him.

Just as Kyo was finally about to beat Yuki, he was tackled to the ground.

Kyo scrambled to break free of Kagura's grip but she didn't let up.

"What are you doing?! Now he's gonna-"

"Yuki wins!" Momiji whopped from the sidelines. Kyo slammed his fist into the sand angrily, and his bangs shadowed the furious expression threatening to take up his entire face.

Without a care, Kyo flung the boar off sucessfully and stormed off to the house.

"He didn't stand a chance. I don't know why that baka neko just doesn't give up." The prince arrogantly dusted himself off before returning to his book.

"Wait a minute! What about the deal? Kyo has to wear a dress doesn't he?" Haru cracked his knuckles, black Haru beginning to show himself.

Without responding I decided to find out what bothered orangy this time. Probably because Yuki beat him again...

I scanned the dark house for a familiar sight of orange hair and didn't see the idiot. I searched from room to room and finally find Kyo, his head hung low, his kneels sat up against the bed, and his back to the wall. Kyo appeared to be trembling, the sound of his beads clinking against one another with each tremor.

Closing the door softly behind me I sat down next to the oddly silent cat.

"Kyo?" I reached a hand out to comfort him, and he shrank back.

"Get out." A low unrecognizable voice tumbled out.

"...No..." Kyo finally turned to look up at me, his red eyes flashing angrily, as a weak attempt to distract from his tear streaked face. I found myself confound and yet annoyed, pitying and irritated, empathetic and...I didn't know what would win out.

Kyo looked away and focused his attention on the far off wall near the door. I nervously twiddled with the string of my swimsuit, and squirmed with indecision. Should I comfort him? How would I? Does he want me to? What would be the most effective? I'm so confused...I'm not used to comforting people. Not even with Kisa last week, I sucked at it.

I bit my lip still struggling with what to do. My mind was made up when Kyo made an attempt to leave. I yanked him back. He was dumbfounded and overwraught with anger. But I didn't stop. I didn't know how else to help him, not being good with words and unable to hug him.

I cupped his cheeks in my hands, "What are you doing?" I pressed my lips to his and my eyes slid shut. I poured out the deep sorrow, and everything I didn't know how to express with words into the kiss. He was as stiff as a board for a short while. He was tense but I pressed forward. And eventually he returned the gesture, as lost as I was.

I shoved him away after running out of breath and pressed my hands to my now deeply red cheeks. I just thought it to be the best course of action. With guys I had always expressed myself physically, not verbally.

But why did this bother me?...It was weird...Too weird.

Kyo appeared to be battling with himself as I was. We both sat in silence, inches away from one another. There was barely any sunlight left, and the others had begun entering the house.

Finally after ten minutes Kyo said something. "Kai...I, we- You can't be with me. I mean, we can't be together. Believe me, you don't want to." A sad note hung from every word. He was subconciously rolling his beads over his wrist and avoiding my eyes.

I didn't understand what he meant. I liked him but...I don't know!

"What do you mean?" Kyo sighed and decided to make eye contact.

"You know about the zodiac curse and everything. But I'm a lot worse than you think." I rolled my eyes and shoved him playfully.

"Moron, I already think you suck. What could possibly be worse?" I was trying to bring some of our playful banter back, and make some sort of normal conversation in the heavy impending atmosphere. He didn't take the bait.

"Yeah...I do suck. You recognized what everyone else already knows. Congratulations." The stabbing pain returned and guilt ebbed at my heart.

"I was joking dude. I care about you, I just like messing with you..." Kyo raised an eyebrow, still in disbelief.

"Is that why you kissed me? Or were you so horny, you just wanted to screw me like everyone else?" Without thinking about it I slapped Kyo across the face. Hard.

Silence filled the room as I shook with white hot rage. There was a red stinging hand print on Kyo's cheek where I had hit him, but I didn't feel the least bit sorry.

"What is wrong with you idiot?! Don't you get that I'm trying to freaking help you? You and I are alike, you know that? Maybe you don't screw girls all the time just to feel something other than emptiness. But we both don't know how to be with people. We both don't know how to talk to people or treat them. You are just as messed up as I am. So stop throwing that bull in my face!" Before I could storm out, Kyo pulled me to him as close as he dared and returned the kiss from earlier.

I beat on his chest to release me but he didn't. He only kissed me with more pressure and force. Tears were freely falling down my face, and his. The taste of salt nearly felt numbing as we became one another's distraction. Whatever we had going on in our lives was eventually forgotten during that moment.

We gradually broke apart and Kyo smiled slightly, the indignation fading from his face, and my own rage faltered.

"...I'm sorry...Kai."

"I...Its okay...Kyo."

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen: Old Habits Die Hard**

Black Haru shoved his way inside the house and scoured for Kyo. Like he was going to let him get out of the deal. Yeah right! Before he could get very far, he was yanked into the supply closet where the maid's equipment lied.

He was enclosed in darkness and shoved against the supply shelf. A warm familiar figure pressed against him, and a her tongue darted into his mouth. His ivory hands autonomously tangled in her long black tresses and he kissed back with the same precision.

He flipped her around, a broom clattered to the floor as she wrapped a leg around his thigh.

Breaking the kiss, Haru placed kisses along her jaw and collar bone and she finally spoke. "Don't think this means I want you back Haru. I just need this..." Rin said with a moan and Haru growled in return.

He didn't bother saying different, instead they continued.

An hour later, Rin flattened her skirt, and Haru straightened his shirt. Their hair was still a mess. "Rin..." Haru, now white again.

"Don't." Rin cut in harshly. She was about to run off before Haru pulled her back into a hug.

"You don't...You don't need me anymore. I heard about you and that...Skank." Haru buried his nose into her shoulder and kissed it softly.

"She's not a skank Rin. But I'm not seeing her...I still only love you." Rin scoffed and Haru only tightened his hold on her.

"I can't let you go. Don't run from me again."

* * *

Kai began to shiver as the cool air hit her, the night still dragging.

Kyo noticed this and snatched the blanket from the bed, he placed it over both of their shoulders and rubbed his hands together for warmth.

"That dang mutt. Hasn't heard of a heater?" Despite myself, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Its probably Haru trying to freeze you out. He's pretty pissed about not seeing you in a dress. I gotta admit I'm a little disappointed myself. You'd look pretty sexy in a ball gown." Kyo punched me in the arm before kissing me on the cheek.

"Shut up...Kai-Kai," he teased, amusement in his eyes.

"Ugh. Its already bad enough Momiji calls me that...Orange-top." I hummed content with getting the upper hand.

"Okay, okay...Kai?" His tone shifted to a business-like one. "What are we?"

"Friend with benefits?" Kyo narrowed his eyes and I held up my hands. "I'm kidding...We're uh...Let's not label it. Who cares about what we call it? We just...We just are. Okay?" Kyo pondered this silently before nodding.

Kyo nuzzled my neck. "Not the brightest are ya?"

I smacked him on the arm and captured his lips in a kiss. "You're worse than me."

Kyo pulled me slightly closer as the thought came to mind. "We can't tell anyone about this. If... _Akito_ finds out, we wouldn't be able to be together." Why did he have to say his name. My face paled and I myself trembled struggling to maintain my cool disposition.

"You okay?" One concerned look from Kyo made me slap a smile on my face. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Especially not him.

"I'm fine. I uh, I agree. We should keep this between us. No one would believe us anyway."

I rested my head on his shoulder, and my eyes drifted closed. Kyo and I had a weird relationship. But, it was okay for us. It worked.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty: Date Night, Double K Version**

I happened to catch a glimpse of Rin leaving that night, and she stowed away before Hatori caught her. Smart girl.

After three full days spent at the Summer Home, we all boarded the bus once more for our four day Hot Springs Excursion.

Upon arrival, a woman with hair hanging in her face, a ruffled kimono, and a distressed expression was there to greet us.

"Hello, and welcome to the Hot Springs young masters and mistresses. I suppose it is only right to provide you with your room arrangements."

She pushed her hair back and declared, "Yuki will room with Haru, Momiji Hiro and Kyo will be placed together-"

"WHAT? I AIN'T STAYIN WITH THAT PESKY RABBIT AND THE OTHER BRAT!" Kyo screeched.

"HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?! DO YOU THINK I WILL PLACE YOU IN THE SAME ROOM WITH A YOUNG WOMAN. THAT IS MOST IMPROPER AND I WON'T ALLOW IT!" The woan screeched back, eyes wide, and jaw slack.

"At least its better than staying with Kagura," I whispered to Kyo.

"I heard that!" Kagura growled from the other side of Kyo. If Kagura knew I was seeing Kyo, she'd probably try to kill me...Actually, I'm sure she would.

Tohru, Kagura and I shared a room. Tohru got the top bunk, I the bottom, and the demented boar got a bed all to herself. For all of our sake I think.

Tohru and Kagura left to eat lunch with the others while I decided to unpack. I was almost done when Kyo appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey Kai." He leaned against the door frame, arms folded, one leg placed over the other. I waved in greeting only to realize I still held a bra in my hand and quickly shoved it behind my back.

"Ever heard of knocking dummy?" My face heating up slightly, as I shoved it under the stack of clothes on the bed.

Before I had time to react, his arms wrapped around me and he held me as close as he could before kissing my neck softly, "Nope." I shivered slightly before stepping out of his embrace.

"Kagura could catch us, or someone like...Hatori. What are you doing here anyway? They run out of cat nip or something?"

Kyo scoffed, "Ha, very funny. Ritsu's mom said you could join the other girls in the hot springs. They're done eating."

I smirked, "So that's who she is...And you offered to invite me, personally?" I approached him slowly until his back hit the wall.

"Don't think anything of it. I was asked to," Kyo turned away, his cheeks pink. I cupped his cheeks and made him face me, before placing a kiss on his nose.

"Well I'm glad I got to see you." Kyo rolled his eyes.

"Don't start that sappy crap. Just cause we're together doesn't mean we have to do all that romantic crap."

I pouted and folded my arms across my chest, "But KyoKyo, what if I want to? Shouldn't you be nicer to your girlfriend?"

"You said not to label it. And no, it would be weird." Kyo finished simply.

"True...But I want you to take me out."

He peered at me nervously, "Why?"

I crossed the room and plopped on the bed, he shortly joined me.

" _Well_...I've never really been on a date, date. So please Kyo," I intertwined my arm with his, leaned on his shoulder, and gave him puppy dog eyes for good measure.

Kyo was struggling to say no but much to my surprise, he gave in. Mwahaha.

* * *

I wrapped a towel around my body, and I swept my hair under the other. The hot springs was rejuvinating and I hadn't really experienced anything like it. It was kinda like a hot bath.

I was heading to my room to change when I just so happened to trip and splatter down on my face.

"Ow..." I cried as my palms stung from the harsh impact.

As if it couldn't get worse, my towel wasn't covering me as it should and...Well, let's just say Yuki got a show.

Being the prude old woman that he was, he turned away covering his eyes. "Miss Natsuyo, I'm sorry. I didin't plan to look. I apolo-"

"Its fine Yuki. You're not the first to see me," I wrapped the towel back around me and managed to get to my feet, staggering slightly.

Yuki left without another word, face flaming crimson.

* * *

Later that evening, everyone decided to put away the food from the all you can eat buffet. Kyo and I steathily snuck out and headed to a seafood resteraunt down the road for dinner.

I changed into a a black bandeau top, black leather jacket, and mini skirt. Kyo wore a black dress shirt, and black jeans. He reminded me of Haru in that way. After arriving at the resteraunt, we found a booth far off from the others. Seclusion was how we liked it.

I lifted the laminated menu, and browsed the food selections.

"Sushi looks pretty good. What about you kitty? Do you like fish like other cats or-"

Kyo smacked me upside the head, a playful glimmer in his eyes.

"Yeah so?" His red eyes returned their focus to the menu, and his foot brushed my ankle. I shifted in my seat and pretended to still be scanning the list. What was wrong with me? I wasn't the type to get awkward...At least not with a guy.

After we ordered the great california roll and salmon platter, we snacked on bread sticks in the meantime.

"Kyo?...Is this your first date too?" Kyo bit into his food roughly.

"What if it is?...Yeah, I'm not that stupid rat."

"I thought you would be quite the lady killer."

"That's what you get for thinking." Kyo quipped.

"Real mature neko-chan." Kyo bristled at this.

"Don't call me that. Or kitty either."

"No worries, KyoKyo."

* * *

We got back home around midnight, and still feeling euphoric from the evening I decided to put a pot of tea on. Kyo collapsed on the couch, and extended his arms over the back of the couch. The retreat was luxurious, and they didn't hold back with their furnishing. That much I gathered.

The tea kettle hissed, I removed it and poured two cups for the both of us.

I sank into the seat next to him and lied my head on his shoulder before handing him a cup.

"Thanks." He said, taking a sip. My eyes slid shut, taking in the comforting warmth that always came with being so close to one another. It was a mixture of body heat, Kyo's cologne, and my own perfume that comforted us both.

The moon hung high, and the light shone throughout the room illuminating everything in its path.

Kyo pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head softly. "Thank you."

"Its no big deal, I just made tea." I smirked before downing the rest, lipstick now stained the cup.

"Not that...I mean thank you for being with me. Even though I-"

I cut his words off with a kiss, "Oh please. I should be thanking you for accepting me. People don't usually date whores." I didn't even feel bad about saying it. I had grown so accustomed to the title, it didn't even phase me to call myself one any longer.

Surprising me, Kyo took both of our tea cups and set them on the table in front of us. He grabbed ahold of my shoulders and forced me to look him in the eyes.

"Kai, you aren't a whore. You aren't a slut. I shouldn't have called you those things."

"Then what am I Kyo? What kind of person am I?" Kyo's eyes shone with pain.

"You're lost...Empty. But you aren't bad. I'm the one that transforms into a beast, not you."

His words baffled me, "What do you-" My eyes fell on his beads. And I met his gaze once again.

"What...Those beads, aren't they-"

"Yeah. The monster I am is only contained by the bracelet. I'm the unwanted beast. And after my high school graduation I will be put in my rightful prison." My heart ebbed painfully, I gripped the hem of his shirt desperately.

"I won't let that happen."

"Yeah right," Kyo retorted snidely.

"You can't do a thing about it, neither can I." Tears brimmed my eyes yet again.

"Kyo. Akito can't imprison you...Just as he won't lock me away. I won't let him torment me any more. I want you, and I won't let you leave."

Kyo's gaze dropped to the floor, and I tilted his chin up with a forced smile.

"Let me try." Our lips met in a kiss. And before I knew it, I lied on the couch and Kyo hovered over me. I gripped his hair, and he bit my lower lip. I wrapped my legs around his waist and tried to pull him as close as I was able. Kyo ran a hand along my thigh, goosebumps rising in response. For someone with no experience, he was doing it right.

But then...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY MAN?!"

Kyo and I broke apart, and looked upon the girl in fear.

Kagura stood there, pajamas hanging loosely over her body, hair matted, eyes crazed, gritting her teeth, fists clenched, and a murderous glint in her eyes.

"Kagura," I held up my hands and began backing away. Kyo stood in front of me to block me from her line of sight.

"I knew there was something with you. I'm surprised Akito would be willing to do a nasty thing like you." Kagura growled darkly.

Before I knew it, I was on top of Kagura, relentlessly delivering blow after blow to her face. Kyo pulled me off of the furious boar, and Haru rushed into the room to restrain Kagura. The others poured out of their rooms upon hearing us.

Blood dripped from Kagura's lip, her eye a dark purple, and her nose crooked.

"What is going on?" Hatori demanded from the corner of the room. I narrowed my eyes at him, growing even more angry with each passing second.

"Yes. That's what I would like to know." The malicious voice floated from the front door.

Akito stood there, his eyes looking nowhere else...But at me.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-One: Open Wounds**

My breath came out in shallow staccatos, looking upon the devious so-called man that was Akito. Akito's eyes darted to Kyo's arms wrapped around me, Kagura's beaten face, and then back to my own.

He stepped forward, though in the light shadows still loomed over him. The closer he got, the more I felt fear devour me. I was trembling, Kyo's concerned eyes didn't go unoticed. I practically felt Akito staring at me with those familiar intentions.

Akito pushed Kyo aside, and due to the Cat's allegiance he had to obey. He caressed my cheek and the memory came flooding back.

"How do you like that?" Akito spat in my face as he moved in and out forcefully. He had my throat in a tight grip, but allowed enough room for me to breathe. He shoved me into the wall in time with his thrusts, the feeling of him wouldn't go away. It wouldn't subside. The way I was defiled, I felt...Like I somehow deserved it. I didn't recall anything that would bring about this punishment, but...It felt justifiable at the time.

He slapped me across the face and ripped my blouse to shreds. He fondled my breasts and I cried out in pain as he continued...The man with no morals. I wonder if anything he had done kept him awake at night...But I don't think so. I think it's a dream of his to have his way with me against my will. I think it is his hope to ruin other's lives. Why I did not know.

I was brought back to reality by a whisper, "Your Father escaped town. You know what that means." He drew me to him and bit my earlobe incredibly hard. I trembled with pain and the dread that always accompanied Akito's presence.

Glancing around the room I took in the horrified looks of Hiro and Kisa. The tears falling from Tohru's eyes. The anger displayed on Yuki Kyo and Haru's faces. The disgust on Kagura's. And even the partial sympathy on Hatori's.

But just like my Father, not a single one of them did anything to intervene. Akito dragged me by my hair, and out the door. He shoved me into the car and drove for an hour. We were far into the deep recesses of the woods.

A cottage sat atop the hill, the moon still taunting us overhead.

And that night, Akito's wrath was even more prevalent and unrelenting that night. I don't know if I will ever recover.

* * *

Akito released me after two nights of torture. I forced myself forward, through the woods and back to town. My feet as heavy as lead, tears a permanent fixture, my hair a disheveled mess, and my clothes bedraggled strands barely covering me. I was just a shell, the emptiness was felt even more. I felt hollow, and hopeless.

I felt disgusting. Now what would I-I do? I can't go back. I don't want to. I don't want to be around anyone. Not, not like that again. I can...I can still feel him on me. The pain, the feel of his hands groping me anyway they could.

I can't deal with this...Its too much, I can't. Why does this keep happening to me? Why? Why?

No longer being able to hold myself up, my legs wobbled and gave out. I fell to the ground, my face slamming into the dirt.

I lied there, not even caring to cover myself. I stared up at the blue sky, and dug my fingernails into the dirt. I let out a great cry of anguish, it echoed off the surrounding trees. I felt stuck. Trapped, once more. Kyo was right...Kyo? He didn't come for me.

Kyo doesn't care for me. I thought I finally had a chance to be happy. I hoped for a future better than the present, and far greater than the past. But that was simply a pipe dream. And only that.

* * *

Kyo delivered rapid punches on the red punching bag, hanging from the ceiling of the dojo. Kyo's head filled with fleeting thoughts of correcting his form. He tried to think of anything else but...But her.

He was too weak to protect Kai when she most needed it. He didn't even know where she was. Kai might have been raped again and all he did was stand by.

That wasn't right. She said she would help free him...Now it was his time to help free her.

Kyo left in the direction of the forest. Oh how he hoped he was right about where she could be.

* * *

It was mid afternoon when he found her.

Kai lied out on the forest floor, hair cascading in messy waves, a bloody lip, her clothes mere strands of cloth.

Kyo hurried to her aid and knelt before her. She looked up at him in a way he hadn't expected. She looked...Tormented but...Something was even more off than that.

He reached a tentative hand out and she shrunk back.

"...Kai." She covered her ears and shut her eyes tightly.

Kyo crawled over and attempted to reach her once more.

Feeling his presence she backed away further.

"I want to help you."

Kai's eyes flew open, and she glared at Kyo.

"Where were you yesterday? Huh? Or the day after that? Why didn't you..." Her voice dropped. "...Why didn't you stop him? He did it to me again. Over. And Over. And Over. And Over. Where were you?" She cried, slamming her fist into the ground.

Kyo no longer being able to take it, pulled her into his arms.

She tried shoving at him but he remained. Kai wailed but he didn't released his hold on her. Kyo kissed her forehead and promised softly, "I won't you leave you again. I'm sorry I didn't help free you from your cage. I'm sorry..."

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Two: Sorrowful Dawn**

I spent most of the night at home. Kyo had brought me back to my room not long after my breakdown. I sat on my bed, rocking back and forth as if it would somehow help me get a grip on the thoughts racing in my mind.

Kyo asked to stay, several times. I just...I can't be around him...Or anyone for that matter. Not now.

My Mom heard about what happened, she looked at me with such a look of guilt I couldn't bear it. She begged me to eat something...To shower but I didn't bother.

What was the point? Aki- He would just wind up raping me again. What did it matter now? Like showering would wash his touch away. Like it would somehow erase the memory of Akito becoming a part of me...I would always be known like this.

Why would the Sohmas want to be near me? I was screwed by the one they hated most. I was covered in him. I _reeked_ of him.

Spring Break had ended by the time I finally crawled out of bed. In fact it was Wednesday, four days after it happened. Kyo, Haru, Yuki, Tohru, Momiji, Arisa, Saki, Kisa, and even Hiro stopped by to visit.

Each time My Mom would turn them away, knowing full well I didn't want to face them. I was shameful, filthy, and destroyed. I don't want anyone to see me, and I don't want to see them.

I wouldn't know if one of them would eventually do to me what..He did.

Instead I drew the comforter over my face, and smothered my face with the pillow that lied beside me. Nothing would release the inescapable and unrelenting frustration building up with each passing hour. I would rather die than suffer like this. Maybe then I wouldn't have any memory of this...Maybe then I wouldn't be constantly looking over my shoulder to see if he would attack me. Maybe...I'd feel safe.

* * *

It was Friday by the time I finally decided to shower. My Mother insisted upon a rape kit before I did so, and she was now "awaiting the results." We both knew, so there was no point in it. Its not like he would somehow, end up locked up. And even if it he were, once he got out he would just come after me again.

After stepping out of the shower, the fog cleared from the mirror and I was forced to look at myself in my reflection. There were dark circles around my eyes and my hair was partially uneven. I had resorted to pulling at my hair...I craved a release and always came up empty.

I thought about dying more than anything. I either thought about what happened in excruciating detail, or planned ways I could take myself out. I wanted to be out of my misery. I wanted to be free of the burden...I can barely handle it any longer.

* * *

I made attempts to visit Kai, but each time I wasn't able to see her.

I hadn't fought with Yuki since it happened, although it must have been weird for him since he took on the role of instigating the fights. I never rose to the challenge, being too tormented with thoughts of how she was.

What was going through her mind, whether she would ever want me near her again, and what I could have done to prevent this.

It was my fault, I should have protected her. I cared for her, I liked her more than anyone else in my pathetic existence. And...I didn't do anything to stop Akito. I should have gone after her, stood up to him, and freed her.

And now, I'm not sure that she can be. It happened too many times, I don't know anymore...

But, I'm willing to try.

* * *

After another week, a fail of an attempt at therapy, I finally agreed to go back to school. I had been out for too many days, and wanted to work towards my graduation so I could get the eff outta dodge.

I wanted to get as far away from Akit- Him as I could.

...Had the school uniform always been this short? The skirt was incredibly short. Glancing around the room, my eyes landed on black stockings lying over my arm chair. I pulled them on frantically and double checked the full length mirror...The top was...Really low. I threw on a jacket and rushed out of the house before my Mom could say anything.

The plan I lied awake formulating was to avoid everyone, focus on getting my work done, hide out in the bathroom or nurse's office during lunch, and run as soon as the bell rang to get home...

Of course, the plan was in shambles as soon as I stepped foot into the school.

When I entered the main hall, Kyo and Tohru stood off to the side by a bank of lockers. Tohru glanced up at me, her eyes watery and hand clamped over her mouth of course alarmed Kyo.

Before I had a chance, Kyo turned to see who she had been looking at. Our eyes met for the first time in a week.

His mouth fell open, but he stepped forward. I took a step back. He wouldn't stop approaching...Why? Why is he getting closer?

Not wanting to find out, I bolted down the hall and into the girl's bathroom. I locked myself in the handicapped stall and sank to the floor. I buried my head in my knees and tried to will the fearful thoughts away.

Kyo wouldn't hurt me. He wouldn't hurt me. He wouldn't-

Then why am I so afraid? Why does being around him bother me?...

* * *

"Are you sure?" Yuki asked, eyes wide.

Kyo was hunched over, breathlessly having ran over to where Yuki, Haru, and Momiji stood.

"Yeah, have you seen her? Do you know where she went? Wait, you didn't even know she was here. I gotta find her!" Before Kyo could run off, Momiji tackled him to the floor.

Kyo scrambled in his hold angrily, "Get off me stupid rabbit!"

"She needs space Kyo. We have to let her be." Kyo broke free of his grip and straightened his shirt.

"I let her have space the first time around and she got hurt...I won't make that same mistake." And with that, Kyo set off in search of Kai.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Three: Let Me In**

Kyo frantically asked around school regarding Kai's whereabouts. A girl brown-noser from his homeroom reported sobbing from the girl's bathroom.

Kyo stood outside the girl's bathroom, tapping his foot impatiently. What would he say to her? How would he get her alone to talk? She'd probably kick him or pulverize him...Maybe both.

The door creaked, and the familiar raven-haired girl stepped out. Immediately, his instinct was to reach for her. Realizing she probably wouldn't react to it well, he called for instead.

She turned to him. Her horrified look forever etched into his mind. Kai backed away, but before she could get very far, Kyo pulled her along after him.

Of course she did follow...Kicking and screaming, but she followed nonetheless.

Onlookers whispered to one another in curiosity. Kai attempted to dig her heels into the ground and only managed to skid to a stop, before she was once again yanked forward.

Why was he so persistent? She didn't understand.

The two stood by the ladder leading up to the roof. He threw her over his shoulder and climbed the ladder with practiced ease.

He set her down, and found a place beside her atop the building. She scooted away from him, and warned him about keeping his distance.

"Why am I here? What do you want with me?" Kai growled, her eyes darkening. Kyo dreaded the conversation but knew it was the only way to help her and become close to her again.

He crawled towards her, and bowed his head on her lap. "Kai...I am sorry for not helping you when I should have. I am sorry for letting him do that to you. I will never let anything like that happen again. I wanted to let you know, I'm going after him when school is over. I will deal with him once and for all."

Kai gasped, tears ready to spill over. "...K-Kyo. Don't, I...I know you're sorry-"

"-No" Kyo butt in, lifting his head to meet her gaze. "I don't think you do. So, I'm going to prove it to you. I'll deal with him." Kai's pulse quickened at the thought of Kyo even trying to help.

"There's nothing you can do. Its over." Kyo stood, and dusted himself off.

"Change of plans, I'll go now. Goodbye Kai, I hope this helps you." And before she could stop him, Kyo scrambled down the ladder and broke off in a run.

* * *

Kyo entered the entangled depths that was The Main House. He wasn't allowed on the premises but...With what he was about to do, it wouldn't matter all that much.

He barged in without knocking and stormed into Akito's chambers. He was sitting in the middle of the floor, a derranged smile inching its way to his face. His eyes shone with malice, and he folded his hands in his lap.

"It took you long enough monster." Kyo gained on him and snatched him from the floor. A creak sounded from the floorboards as he slammed Akito into the wall. With a tight grip around Akito's shirtfront, he stared into the dead eyes of the Sohma head.

"Who do you think you are?" Kyo gritted out, his eyes furrowing in increasing fury.

"You hurt her. You screwed her up! She was doing better and you...You made her sick again! What is wrong with you?!" Akito simply stared back, with that egotistic, self-righteous smirk that only made his hatred burn deeply. That same smile he looked upon him with. Knowing he could never beat Yuki, he put a price on his head from the very beginning.

A bet that could never be won.

And now, he looked at him with that same grin. The one that clearly said, 'I Won.' But he didn't win...He can't win...He won't win.

"Do you feel like a man Kyo? Really. Now that you've looked Kai's...Love in the face, do you feel like a man? You're confronting the one whom holds power over this entire family. The one that can give her nightmares with a single look. The one whom can lock you up. And this seems to make you think it can define some distorted form of masculinity you think you have. But then, how could you? When you yourself are a beast. A hideous, destructive, putrid disgrace."

Kyo slammed him into the wall again. "Shut up!"

Akito's grin broadened. "Do you think she'll accept you? Because you think you can save her? Tohru didn't accept you at your worst. So then...Why would she feel any different? Let me tell you something. Listen carefully because I will only say this once. Kai. Is. Mine. She is my property, she is under my control and there isn't a thing you can do about it."

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Four: Nothing Matters**

Kyo released Akito and distanced himself by stepping back a few feet. Akito folded his arms with a look of pure contentment. Kyo glared at the scratched up chestnut floorboards, disdain filling his features.

"What do you want with her?"

Akito paced about the room, lacing his hands together behind his back.

"Her Father is in great debt to me. He didn't uphold his deal to keep a cure for the curse under wraps. So I screwed his daughter in that first instance. Then when I heard he ran off, imagine how hurt I felt. My traitorous subject took leave without my consent. Of course I initiated the execution. Wasn't too difficult to track him down. He left quite the paper trail, spending his evenings at strip clubs. His weakness for women was his own undoing."

Kyo's eyes danced with new found confusion.

"Then what do you want with her? And where do you get off calling her your love? You must be more twisted than I thought."

"After my first bout with her...I felt even more powerful than I had ever been. In those moments, I wasn't a man on his deathbed. I was a man taking full control of a vulnerable, weak, pathetic being. And, I liked it more than I expected. The feel of her skin...Like silk. Her hair, soft as a lamb. How her body burned when I touched her...I couldn't leave that alone. Especially since she enjoyed it so much."

Kyo advanced on him and decked him, sending Akito sprawling backward onto the floor.

"YOU THINK THAT IS LOVE?! THE WAY SHE WON'T LET ANYONE CLOSE TO HER. THE WAY SHE HASN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE YOUR FILTHY HANDS TOUCHED HER?! YOU THINK SHE ACTUALLY ENJOYED THAT?"

AKito rubbed his chin, and got to his feet. The smile slipped from his face, his eyes became deep black pools.

"I'm beginning to lose my patience. I don't care if you believe the truth or not. I will never forget the sounds of her delightful moans. The way her skin tingled when I touched her anyway I could. The sounds of her screams, like a symphony to me. Or how she shivered when I entered her. And you tell me that isn't love?"

Kyo shook his head in utter disbelief. "You are outta your mind. That, is fear. That is the farthest thing from it...I've experienced love only once. And that is for Kai. Love is...Well its some sappy crap but its more. Its caring so much for that person, you're willing to do anything for them. It isn't banging them until they can't feel anything. It isn't tormenting them day in and day out. It isn't making them hate themselves more than anyone else! And I won't let you hurt her any more. I don't care who you are."

Akito cackled, his head falling back as his ribs racked with laughter.

"You seem to forget your place. It is time I took care of the cat, once and for all."

Akito tackled Kyo to the floor, and straddled him. He delivered punch after punch to his face. Kyo's adrenaline kicked in, and he flipped Akito over and gripped his throat with one hand. He pulled his other fist back, and stared him in the eyes. Akito struggled beneath Kyo's hold but he didn't budge. The cat in him beckoned him to let his master go. To fall at his feet in remorse.

Kyo clenched his eyes shut and before he could punch him in the throat, the door slammed open.

Kureno rushed over and yanked Kyo off of him. The cat tried to break free of him, but he didn't loosen his hold.

Akito snarled, "Lock him away. In the cat's room."

And with that command, Kureno forced him out of Akito's chambers. End of discussion.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Five: Snap Out Of It**

Everyone else poured into classrooms. Time was wasting away - I was still sitting on the roof. I hadn't moved since Kyo left. I couldn't tell if the fear kept me in place or the shock of it all. But I just couldn't leave my spot on the roof tiles in the heat of the day.

I heard footsteps ascend the ladder hours later. My heart hammered in my chest as they sounded closer and closer.

"Kyo?" I could hardly stand the anticipation.

Much to my disappointment, Yuki's head popped up over the ladder.

I sighed and rested my head atop my knees and cast my gaze on my feet. He found a place next to me wordlessly and turned to face me.

"Miss Natsuyo...where is Kyo?" I must have been hearing things. Since when did Yuki ask about his arch-nemesis? He must have sensed my confusion because he went on to explain.

"He seemed to be...less of an ignoramus than usual. And he hasn't been anywhere on campus since this morning. Do you know where he might have gone?" I bit my lip mulling over the decision of what telling Yuki would do.

With an exasperated sigh I responded. "He went after Akito. Yuki I'm really worried about him-" Before I could say anything more, Yuki had been halfway down the ladder. He practically ran for the hills.

Having been immobile long enough - I struggled to stand, my legs wobbled as I took a step forward. One in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Maybe I was crazy. Maybe I had a death wish but I had to find him. I can't let Akito continue to destroy lives while I sit idly by. Especially not mine.

* * *

I stood directly outside Akito's door. I raised a shaky hand to rap on the door when it was flung open and Yuki flew out into the hallway. Akito stood in the center of the room, his fist dripped with blood, and he trembled with pure rage.

Yuki lied unconcious at my feet. Akito's eyes landed on me and a twisted grin ghosted over his lips.

"Its about time you showed up Kai. I knew you couldn't get away from me." My heart palpitated the closer he got to me. I took several steps back until I hit the wall. Akito was still advancing on me. What do I do? What was I thinking?

I glanced about for something I could use and came up empty. Having been too distracted, Akito latched onto my wrist and shoved me into his chambers. He locked the door behind him and forced me to the ground. He towered over me - one hand on his robe, ready to remove it.

"I've missed you _Kai_. I've missed touching you. Being _inside_ of you."

Before he could I shut my eyes and flailed about. He grabbed ahold of my wrists and pinned them to the floor.

The panic increased the more he touched me.

I managed to knee him in the groin and flip him over. I quickly ripped the belt out of his robe belt loop and snapped it. He struggled beneath my hold but I mustered all the strength I had to keep him down.

Just as he was about to regain control, I wrapped the belt around his neck and tightened it. He clawed at his throat as the life continued to seep out. I was beyond terrified and I didn't know what would happen after. I just had to do this. If not for anyone else - then for me.

He gasped to reclaim air pouring out of his lungs as I applied more pressure. Shortly after, his head hit the ground. His body went limp beneath me, the color drained from his face, and the life dissipating from my very eyes.

He was-

I leaped off of him and clamped my hand over my mouth. I stumbled backward and lost my footing. What had I done? What was I thinking? I killed...I shouldn't have done this!

I'd heard about people finding strength in stressful situations. I never knew that I could take him on. Not in a million years did I think I could face him without passing out.

I wrenched open the door and escaped to a closet on the end of the hallway. I sank to the floor and gripped my hair between my fingers. I rocked back and forth trying to get a grip on the sanity I lacked. Everything began to tilt and my vision swam. My head pounded and anguished cries filled the room. I hadn't even realized they were my own.

It seemed like I sucked up all the oxygen in the room. I couldn't...I couldn't breathe. I-

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Six: Freedom**

The sound of metal clanking against one another. Back and forth. Back and forth. In constant motion. I was submerged in the depths of my cage. I am the cat. I should be able to see in the dark...but this darkness is too heavy. I don't know how long I've been here. Could be days...weeks. For all I knew it was only moments ago. I lost track of time. Darkness can do that to you. You begin to forget basic things. Which way is up...which way is down. Left or right, black or white. I couldn't make out the ground. I couldn't distinguish between the floor and the ceiling. All I knew was the sound of clanking metal.

The irritable sound. The kind of sound that could drive someone mad. I should have known I wouldn't be able to escape this fate. But, I hoped. That's what got me in trouble this time. I hoped. I so badly wanted to believe I could taste freedom. I wanted to be guiltless, burden free, and...not alone. And I wasn't alone. For a bit of time. But that doesn't matter now. Cause I am. I am alone again. And I can't rescue Kai this time...

She'll hate me. But that's okay...because I hate me too.

I fall backward against what I assumed to be the floor. My shirt was now soaked with some unknown liquid. It felt warm...It could have been my blood for all I knew. Akito had beat me until he was short of breath. It could have been my blood. It probably was.

I closed my eyes - not that it mattered - and I pressed my full weight to the floor. I just lie there. Frustration ebbing and flowing. I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know what would matter. All I knew was that it was over. I-

The door creaked open and light flooded the room.

Was I...dead?

I squinted my eyes and looked in the direction of the light. It was...Kai!

No, I must have been hallucinating again.

I rubbed my eyes until blue and green spots danced before my vision. I blinked a few times and looked again.

She was...she was still there?

She took hesitant steps forward. One by one. She knelt before me.

This shouldn't be happening. I should be rescuing her. She shouldn't be the one saving me.

Kai cupped my cheeks in both of her hands, and her eyes swam with tears.

Tears...for me. Kai pressed our foreheads together and I allowed my eyes to slide shut.

I just want a moment. _This_ moment of peace. Akito could come at any second but-

Before I knew it...I was being embraced. My eyes widened in shock. I was being hugged but...there was no poof, no cannon, no cat form. Just...

"Kyo." Kai whispered as she ran her lips over my cheek. It was so beautiful. The way she said my name was so beautiful. _She_ is so beautiful. My heart ached.

What if this was a dream?

"It's not a dream silly." Kai laughed lightly and hugged me once more. Had I said that out loud?

It didn't matter. But it did. How was I not transforming? How did she sneak past Akito? Did he-

She nodded somberly as if hearing my thoughts. Kai said nothing more, she just held me.

And for that time...it was okay.

* * *

Epilogue

It was a week after I killed Akito. His wake had been yesterday. I didn't go.

I couldn't go.

I still remember explaining to the officers it was done in self-defense. Telling the news to the Sohmas...I remember doing it.

Seeing life seep out of him, right before me.

His skin was so pale, he was empty. He became nothing.

He was there one instant and gone in the next.

Hearing about his killing my Father made it mean more. It meant vengence. Vengence I shouldn't have taken but...I didn't feel as bad about it. The Sohmas were free. That's all that mattered. The curse had been weakening over time. Akito's premature death completely cured them of the curse...forevermore.

For a month I grieved my Father. The Father whom was never there in my darkest hour. The Father that didn't care for me as Fathers should. My Mother and I spent most of the time visiting his grave and simply catching up with one another.

* * *

Kyo drew the tape gun over the last box. That was it, I packed my life away in these boxes. The life I once had...one of torment, shame, and destruction. The boxes contained pictures of Dad, my exes - things that no longer mattered as much.

It was gone just like that.

Kyo reached for my hand and I followed him to Shigure's.

They were all waiting. It was the celebration they never knew they'd have.

A celebration of love, life - freedom. They could know relax knowing they could be close to whomever the wanted.

Haru and Rin stood together - his arms wrapped around her waist, Kagura's glare had lessened and was replaced with a mixture of jealousy and gratitude, Momiji chased his sister Momo around the room, Shigure was teasing his editor - Mii, Mine sat on Ayame's lap, Hatori and Mayu glanced at one another frequently, Yuki and Tohru exchanged looks of obvious infatuation and awkwardness. Yuki was slightly injured but he was better.

The picture was better than I'd imagined it to be.

We all shared cake, we danced, and we dined on Tohru's finest cooking.

As the night began to crawl along - Kyo lead me up to the roof of Shigure's.

I didn't know what he intended to do. I had no idea until he grabbed his bracelet. He yanked it free and the beads scattered about the roof. He and I shared a knwoing and peaceful smile.

He approached me and pulled me against him.

"I love you Kai."

"I love you too...moron."

Things weren't perfect - they never were. But, they were okay.

That's more than I would have expected out of my life.

 _You did it Kyo...you freed me from my cage._

 _Thank You._

The End


	6. The Tortured Artist

The Tortured Artist

 **Chapter One: Misfits & Rejects**

Prologue

I draw the tape over the last cardboard box and collapse against it in exhaustion. I should have been used to this sort of thing by now. In my seventeen years of life I've lived in over thirty cities and two different countries. To some people, my life would seem glamorous and fun. But in reality, never making friends, never settling in one place, and never getting comfortable wasn't anything to envy.

I hated boxes almost as much as the transition itself. Cardboard boxes symbolized the results of my parents' mistakes and my status as a minor. The fact that I had no choice but to be dragged into another one of their harebrained schemes. Because every time they were recognized in public due to the price on their head, I was taping up another cardboard box, and moving to another temporary home.

I walk through the house to double check that I packed everything. I notice a dog bowl seated just beneath the fridge and kneel down. It was a black and red bowl, covered in cobwebs, and the interior housed a couple of dead flies. I blow on it and swipe the remnants of dust to reveal the name of my old dog; Sugar. I had given up my dog six months ago because I was no longer able to keep her fed. It was difficult enough making sure I had clothes on my back and food in my stomach as it was, let alone caring for a pet. But Sugar was the best friend that I'd ever had. Since I moved constantly I became anti-social and just ignored everyone that tried to be friends with me. I didn't bother after being ripped away from my best friend the first time I had to move, and didn't plan to try again. Sugar was always there until she wasn't. She was the last one to ever make me smile and she wasn't even a person.

After packing Sugar's dish into my suitcase, I pick up the cardboard box, and set it on the front stoop. After locking the door behind me for the final time, I carry the box next door, and place it in front of my neighbor's house. I had to sell most of my things for yen and she was the fortunate receiver of my pathetic hand-me-downs. I no longer had a place to keep them, because I no longer had parents to keep the place up and running to hold such things.

My Mom was a prostitute and my Dad was a conman. Having such a background has lead to some... _interesting_ childhood memories. Like, getting a septum piercing for my sixteenth birthday. Normal parents would have a conniption if their child even made such a request. My Mom on the other hand practically forced me to get one. She said it was a rite of passage and a form of self-expression. Therefore, I must have one. She herself was a human pincushion. Her body was covered in piercings; Monroe, Corset, Dermal...you name it, she had it.

It wasn't until my Mom ran into trouble with the law that her opinion no longer mattered. After all, its kind of hard to be a parent from behind bars. Not that she was ever that great to begin with. I know what you're thinking. I'm harsh. I guess being taught how to hot-wire a bike instead of morals corrupted me. But who needed that stuff anyway? The real money was in the business of crime and punishment; both of which my Dad was never in short supply of.

My Dad was an artist. One minute he's smiling and flattering you, and the next you're down by 500 yen. He was a master of trickery and deceit. _That_ is what lead to his own arrest and my orphan status. I was living out of our condo for a month and a half before my part-time job at the movies could no longer cover the bills. Without electricity, water, and gas, I found a way to survive. Spending my paychecks on canned foods and water was the only way I lasted another six months.

A few days before Senior Year, I bumped into Tohru. From the moment she appeared, I knew we were polar opposites. Her sparkling blue eyes held life and hope; two things I'd given up the one night I made a mistake of my own. My uneven inky tresses mimicked the abyss I'd fallen in the year before. After that night I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw reflected back. How my eyes displayed my emotions like words on a billboard and allowed him to see all of me. My fear. My pain. My soul. Now my dark hair shielded my dull green eyes to keep anyone from seeing me; a warning for people to stay away. If they ever saw past my despondent gaze and tone, that would be a miracle and a mistake all at once. Unfortunately, Tohru was too oblivious to heed my warning and invited me to stay with her anyway.

After _much_ convincing, a bout of insanity, and a lapse in my judgement, I agreed to stay with her and three other guys.

 _That_ is where the story begins. I could say my screwed up background lead to my unorthodox future. But either way I looked at it, I was at the point of no return.

XxX

Chapter One

"Alright, who had the last of the milk?!" Kyo screeched, slamming the empty milk carton to the floor.

I roll my eyes and continue eating my Rainbow Rolls in silence. Kyo always blamed someone else for running out of milk. But in reality, he was the only one to drink that stuff. The smell of milk alone made me sick to my stomach. Of course, that still didn't appease him, and he whined until someone bought another.

"Shut up you stupid cat. You'll wake the neighborhood," Yuki broke in, slipping his shoes on, and putting his textbooks into his bag.

Yuki was to Kyo like I was to Tohru. Sunshine didn't fight with me, but we were as alike as those two. Kyo was walking TNT, ready to explode at any given second. He wasn't good at hiding his emotions and lacked a filter of any kind. Yuki on the other hand, was more guarded, and calm. Something I was jealous of. The only time his irritation stirred was the moment Kyo's fuse was lit and he had to clean up the mess.

Kyo clenches his fists and glares at him. "I'll yell if I want to rat boy! Wanna take this outside?"

Yuki straightens his uniform before giving his cold retort, "A filthy creature like you _belongs_ outside."

The day I arrived, the two were arguing. The moment my suitcase hit the floor at the front door, the two were going at in in the living room. Tohru tried to intervene and make peace between them. But the owner of the house did nothing to stop it. Actually, he made popcorn, pulled up a chair, and watched them as if it was a _Rocky_ movie. His only protests were the "my poor house" comments every time Kyo was knocked into last week.

Yuki pivots and faces me, shifting to a kinder disposition. "Would you like me to walk you to school Miss Wakahisa?" I've tried to tell him to call me by my first name (Mika) but apparently its too improper for him. I really wish he would because I can't stand my last name.

I shake my head before spearing the salmon. "No, you can go ahead. Princess over here needs some more milk. I was planning to buy some things anyway."

Yuki forces a smile and opens the door. "Perhaps you should take him with you. If it isn't too much of a bother, will you buy a package of Red Bull? When my girlfriend doesn't get her daily energy drink, she gets upset."

I still had yet to meet this girlfriend of his, but she was an interesting one. I heard the stories from some of the others; a riceball eating contest, skinny dipping in a freezing lake for turning down a dare. She had so many nicknames I wasn't sure what her name really was.

But I agree to it and he smiles out of gratitude, sliding his backpack onto his shoulders.

"Like I'd go with her," Kyo growls his delayed response. But by the time the words leave his mouth, Yuki's long gone.

I toss the plastic container in the trash and rinse off my metallic chopsticks. "What's the matter? Afraid to go _Tampon_ shopping?"

He pales and starts backing towards the stairs. "You can forget it! Take that mutt with you to buy that crap. And don't forget to get the milk." Before I can say anything more, Kyo's up the stairs, and the door slams behind him. I never understood what was with them and the animal names. But I guess every family had its quirks. I had no right to question _that_ sort of thing.

If I had a car of my own, I'd do the shopping myself. With the progress I've been making, I might not have a car until I'm twenty-five. If Tohru hadn't gone in to school early, I would have asked for her help with grocery shopping. I don't even know how she does it. I'm one tardy away from detention and its only the third day of school.

I take my sweet time making my way to Shigure's study. I usually avoided being alone with him any more than I had to. I was well aware of what a pervert he was. And even though my Mom did have her moments, her dirty mind was nothing compared to his.

I bring a tentative hand up to knock and run through my mental grocery list. Ok, I need: Tampons, Sushi, White Rice, Orange Juice, Red Bull, Bread, and Milk...maybe I should buy soy just to mess with Kyo. It _is_ pretty tempting...

The door to his study swings open and he steps out. "Mika! You're actually visiting me! I don't deserve such a treat."

"Save it. Look, I need to get some things from the store. Do you want to come?"

He smirks and folds his arms, leaning against the door frame. "Of course I would love to _come_. But I'm honored that you would choose me over Kyo and Yuki. Tohru even."

"Don't get a big head, you're my last resort. So?" I really wish he'd just say 'yes' already so I could get it over with.

He bobs his head and taps his chin in thought. "Very well. But on one condition."

"No."

He looks up in shock. "But you didn't even hear-"

"No."

"Not even a favor?"

"Nope."

With a resigned sigh, he pulls the door shut behind him, and follows me down the hallway. "You drive a hard bargain...alright, let's go. What are we getting exactly?"

XxX

I never thought it to be possible for the old pedo to be embarrassed by anything. But send him to the feminine care aisle and he'll blush like Tohru. His mouth practically hit the floor when I sent him off to buy a box. "So...many...sizes and brands and colors. How do I even know which one to pick?"

I clap him on the shoulder and adjust my handcart. "Well, consider it research for a book. I'm sure you'll find a way to throw it in somewhere."

For the first time in six months, I feel my lips lift slightly. But before I can smile, I suppress it, and continue towards the cold section. Every time I felt a sliver of happiness, my heart would ache as if I got punched in the chest, and I would remember why I never smiled. After that night, I didn't deserve to.

It took me a few seconds to snag the pack of energy drinks. But the moment I find the orange juice and pop the door open, someone slams into my back.

"Ow! Watch it-"

"Oops! Sorry," a guy says as we fall to the floor in a tangled heap.

When I get a clear look at him, I feel it. The familiar dread associated with the hammering of my heart. The racing of my pulse that screamed trouble and more months of frowns and cardboard boxes. Whenever I find myself attracted to a guy, I wind up attached to another temporary place, and I'm left un-tethered to float around endlessly without any hope of stability and security.

But then, I realize that won't happen anymore. My parents could no longer force me to pack up and leave behind a potential life with potential friends. But that also meant staying nearby him. That meant opportunity to be dumped and rejected again...that meant reliving that night. A pressing pain in my side snaps me out of my thoughts and back into the present.

"Its fine. But could you get up? Your shin is digging into my ribs."

He jumps up with a start, murmuring a string of apologies, as he helps me to my feet. "Sorry about that. I'm not usually clumsy. But then, I don't usually spot a beautiful girl either." I fight the urge to roll my eyes at his words, and fully take him in; ignoring the way my heart jump started.

He wasn't bad looking if I were honest. The foreign script that marred his arms, and excessive jewelry give off an air of delinquency. His voluminous black hair looked to have been dipped in blue sky, and clashed against his deep brown orbs. A ring dangled from his lip and glinted under the cheap fluorescent lights. He was just the kind of guy to bring home to Mama. Well, my Mom if she weren't locked away and all.

I dust off my too-short-to-be-a-uniform and extend a hand. "The name's Mika."

He shakes my hand with both of his and smiles warmly. "Drew. My parents thought it would be creative to give me an american name...they're weird."

I decided to leave that one alone.

"So you go to Kaibara?" He starts, reaching into the fridge and passing me the Orange Juice. "What year are you?"

"Yeah, I'm a 4th year. What about-"

"Mikaaaaaaa!" Shigure calls as he charges towards me, stopping just seconds before colliding with me. He thrusts the box in my face, grinning like he won the lottery. "I found it! I found the tampons!"

Drew stares at his feet awkwardly and shoves his hands into his pockets. Great. Now Drew knows I'm about to start my period before he even learns my last name. My life is just hilarious.

Through gritted teeth I say, "Okay, I'll meet you in the checkout line...I just need to get Kyo's milk."

But he doesn't move. Instead he turns to Drew. "Hello there. Are you interested in Mika-chan? Word of advice, even though she _is_ a high-school girl, she is far from innocent. Quite the wildflower, this one."

Feeling one-hundred percent mortified, I say goodbye to Drew, and drag Shigure to the checkout. I didn't get the milk, but honestly, I don't feel too bad about it.

We set the items onto the conveyor belt and I try to remind myself that this is a good thing. If my conversation with Drew carried on any longer, he might have asked me out. Then I'd be back in that vicious cycle all over again.

XxX

"Ugh! Why do I even have to learn French anyway? When will that be useful in Japan? Ever." I've been slaving over my French study cards for two hours straight with no progress. Let's face it, my memory's shot.

It was times like this I wish my Mom was around. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But life with them has always been handcuffs, wine bottles, and being uprooted for seventeen years. Two of her highest paying customers had a fetish for sexy, seasoned, bilingual women. So she took a few classes on French. Sadly, she was a little too busy picking up trash on the highway or smashing rocks with a pickax to tutor me.

Just as I was about to give up and take a nap, my door slams open.

"I know the language of love my dear Mika! I'm quite the expert," Shigure declares in a sing-song voice.

I eye him skeptically as he takes a seat in my desk chair, sitting backwards. "Really?"

"Yes really! Why are you so surprised? I'd like to say I honeymooned with Aya in the City of Lights. But alas, it was for a rather boring reason."

I could kick myself for feeling interested. "What reason was that?"

He waggles his eyebrows before answering in a husky voice, "An international writer's workshop. The good news is that I experienced the Champs-Élysées in the flesh."

I can't help but cringe at the hidden implication. "I hope you don't mean that you were walking the streets in the nude."

He clucks his tongue. "Such a dirty mind. Do you really believe I would go around in the buff?"

"Yes."

"But I-"

"No."

"You didn't let me finish again. Is this a regular occurrence with you?"

I shrug noncommittally and search for my ballpoint pen, "Maybe. Will you help me? Yuki doesn't know French."

The pervert giggles and rolls the sleeves of his kimono. "I know something Yuki doesn't. That's never happened. What exactly do you need help with Mon Chéri?"

Searching through my flash cards, I find one of the words I was struggling with remembering. "I have the memory of a bird so I need help with definitions. What does...billet-doux mean?"

His eyebrow lifts in question, "They're teaching you that in French 1? Where was this class when I was among all of those beautiful, beautiful high-school girls?"

I roll my eyes and sigh, "Well?"

He smirks and plucks the card from my hand. "Sweet note; it means love letter. Like the kind I would write to someone as beautiful as you. You have lovely penmanship by the way." The way he made that last comment, you'd think he said something seductive. He searches through the rest of my cards and his eyes scan them thoughtfully. Even though I've been living with him for about a week now, I've never really looked at him. He wasn't my kind of attractive, but he wasn't bad looking. I guess. If you can get past his creepiness, then you might have something. I didn't quite get his traditional clothing thing but its like I say; do you boo.

"How about we start off with descriptions. Unless you have the basics down?"

I rub at my eyes in frustration. "No, of course not. It hasn't even been a full week of school and I already have to learn this. I don't even know how to describe myself."

His hands still as he lifts his eyes. He looks me up and down and a smile plays along his lips. "Well, you have dark hair...the color of night. Its one you're probably familiar with. Its brunette."

Brunette? Was this man serious? "That's a french word...? Okay, that one is easy. What about my eye color?"

He sets the cards down and his eyes bore into mine. The room suddenly feels a whole lot smaller and he seems a whole lot closer. I scoot back slightly to alleviate the discomfort of being so close. I press my lips together to keep from blurting out something stupid, and will myself to not wither under the intensity of his stare.

"Your eyes are as breathtaking as an emerald. For you it would be, yeux verts."

I knew enough about men from my Mom to know how they feel about you. I could teach a class on Men 101 if I wanted to. Its too bad I didn't put that information into practice sooner. But you can tell what men are thinking by their tone, their eyes, their body language, and their habits.

Lesson #1: If a guy looks at you, pay attention to where they're looking. If they're staring at your feet, they're nervous or hiding something. If they're eyeing your boobs, they want to sleep with you. But if they look you in the eyes, it can mean three things. Either they're intrigued and want to know more about you, they feel comfortable around you, or they're interested. That's the type you have to watch out for. If you're not careful, it won't be long until they invade your soul with their piercing and prying eyes. They'll know everything about you from your strengths...to your weaknesses. And eventually, there will be nowhere to run.

That was what darkened my mood. That was what reminded me of why I should return to my solitude. That is what lead to my guard going back up.

I tear my eyes away to break the unnerving contact and take my cards back. "Thanks for the help. But I think I can take it from here."

He cocks his head to the side. "Are you sure? Just a minute ago-"

"I said I'm fine," I cut in, refocusing my attention on my study cards. Even though I'm acting like I'm studying, I don't even notice what's on the cards. I'm listening to any signs of him taking the hint and leaving. Much to my relief, I hear him rise from the seat, and open the door.

"I hope you do well on your test Mika. If you ever need any more help, I'll be around."

For once there is no playfulness to his tone, but a sincerity I've never heard from him. The shock of it makes me look up. But by the time I do, he's gone.

XxX

Shigure rushes to his study and shuts the door behind him. After locking it and closing the blinds, he retrieves something he took from the sleeve of his kimono. When Mika was distracted and looking through her index cards, something tucked between the pages of her French textbook caught his eye. Being too curious for his own good, he stole it when she wasn't looking, and escaped the room the second he saw an opening.

No longer being able to take the anticipation, Shigure squints at the black and white photograph in his hand. After studying it for a few quiet seconds, his eyes widen in realization.

It was an ultrasound.

 **Chapter Two: One Man's Trash...Is Another Man's Treasure**

June 5th was the source of my insomnia. But it never stopped there. The fifth of every month forced me to lie awake at night and remember what it meant. Over and over and over again the fifth was the worst night for me. It made sleeping and smiling and happiness luxuries I couldn't afford. For the first two months I tried different methods to fix it. Sleeping pills chased down by my Mother's alcohol. I went to sleep, but I nearly died trying. Then it was Melatonin. It worked on every day but the fifth of the month. It was as if the onslaught of guilt was a force nothing could overcome or win against. Sleeping was a lost cause.

I was a lost cause.

I shake the can of magenta spray paint and its rattling echoes off the walls.

Tonight I can't sleep. Its September fifth and that meant no rest for awhile. When you deal with an issue long enough, and you can't find any solutions, you learn ways to cope. My way to cope...was my art.

I cover my nose with my shirtfront to shield myself from the fumes, and pop the plastic top off.

The only way I can sleep is when I paint her name on these mundane brick walls. It brings life and heart to it that I've lacked. It makes me feel like I've done something honorable to compensate for the wrong. So I do what I always do on the fifth of the month.

I paint her name.

Haruka is proclaimed in bubbly letters of magenta, outlined with asphalt black. They were my favorite colors and bridged the distance, even slightly. Her name spelled out the gap and rift between here and there. Her name was why I haven't seen her in person since June 5th and why I can't sleep. Distance. But when I painted _her_ name in _my_ colors, we felt closer together. Like we weren't separated by failures and regrets.

My Haruka.

XxX

I was on my way to the Cinema for my shift. I worked Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 6pm-12am at the concession counter. It wouldn't be so bad if people weren't so impatient, my boss wasn't a nag, and the pay wasn't less than minimum wage. But at least we had Altoids...

...

When I bustle down the stairs in my work uniform, everyone else is already at the table, devouring the food Tohru prepared. Hope of there being a place for me attempted to make its futile appearance. But it was stupid of me to expect it. Tohru was just hospitable and generous. Her kindness could stop at her invitation for me to stay here. She never had to do anything more than that.

Not wanting to have my doubts confirmed, I slip my shoes on, and start for the door. Before I step out into the dark, Shigure's voice stops me.

"Mikaaaa," his voice is muffled by his food. I turn to see him swallow his bite and he reaches across the table for a napkin. "Your food will get cold if you don't eat up. Do you have to go to work so soon?"

My pulse kicks up as I brave a look at the place set for me. She actually...thought of me? When was the last time someone set a place for me?

I let the door swing closed behind me and take my seat at the table. "No, I don't have to go just yet..." I actually had a reason to be tardy this time.

I take a bite of the chicken fried rice and I kid you not...it was like the rice was harvested from the finest stalk and soaked in gold that rained down from the heavens and onto my plate. If I listened closely enough, I could probably hear an Angelic Chorus' song of approval. Tohru looks over her glass of water with nervous eyes cast in my direction. After taking a dainty sip, she sets the glass down, and asks, "Does the food taste okay? I know it probably isn't that good..."

I bob my head adamantly and shovel forkfuls of it until my plate is nothing but a blank canvas. Kyo looks at me through narrow slits - like I challenged him - before eating at a faster speed than I did. Was he trying to compete with me?

After he finishes, he slams his plate onto the table, and swipes his mouth with triumph. "Ha! See rat boy. You'll look just like that when I beat you in a fight."

Yuki rolls his eyes before rising from his seat to wash his dishes. "If Kurumi were here, she would have won, and I wouldn't have to do anything."

Ah, so that's his girlfriend's name.

Kyo scoffs and changes the subject. "How did you even get Akito to allow _her_ to stay anyway?" He asks, pointing an accusing finger in Shigure's direction. Shigure smiles slyly as he polishes off his glass of red wine. "I have my ways Kyo. A writer never reveals his secrets."

I can't help but glance in his direction. I never would have guessed he was a writer. He seemed more likely to be in my Mom's line of work. He must write erotica of some kind. If I had to guess, I'd say he was that author, Kritani Noa. He wrote smut like _Summer-Colored Sigh_. The fact that I had every volume was a secret I would be taking to the grave.

The redhead folds his arms, "Whatever. It won't be long before she knows about us too."

I hadn't the slightest clue what that cryptic statement meant, but I didn't have time to find out. I was almost twenty minutes late to work. I quickly rinse off my plate and set it down on the counter next to my fork. "I have to go, but thanks for the meal Tohru," I call as I rush out the door. By the time I'm halfway to the cinema, I dumbly realize that I forgot something...my name tag.

I fall to my knees and shake my fists. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And in the midst of my drama, I notice the strange looks passerby's throw my way. Haven't _they_ ever done the same thing?

Probably not...

XxX

Tokyo's Junkyard was a quiet gold mine. Wind and silence carried through this place as if it were a ghost town, but I didn't mind that.

I step over a pile of old car parts and stumble across a lead pipe. I slip my worn garden gloves on and swipe the dirt and grime off the pipe. I'm sure it'll find its way into a sculpture of mine one day. They always did. I toss it into my pack and come across several more rusty pieces. Carburetors that people had given up on and broken oars that might have ruined someone's boat trip.

There were two things I loved about my visits to the Junkyard. The stories each item held and the chance to make something out of what someone deemed worthless. When I made something beautiful - or what I hoped was - out of parts and pieces no one wanted, it felt like I gave it worth somehow. I liked to think that I had a hand in restoring its beauty and repaid the injustice of it being cast to the side.

I swipe the sweat from my brow as the sun threatens to burn me to ashes. Like I said, my life was funny that way.

After I get back home with my haul, I dump everything onto the floor, and start brainstorming. After rearranging and considering what might form something that I could identify with, I get started.

XxX

Shigure exits his study and attempts to massage the crick out of his neck. Mitchan was breathing down his neck about finishing the manuscript. But he always liked to wait until the last minute. If he was punctual when it came to his deadlines, it would take the fun out of it. Right now, he was about to go visit with the head of the family to finalize the deal of having Mika stay. He was intrigued by the girl, and wanted to know more about the picture he found. In order to have that time, he had to make a deal with Akito. On the bright side, it wasn't really torture for him.

On his way out the door, his ears pick up on music. He follows the sound of hard hitting drums and guitar solos all the way to Mika's room. The door is cracked slightly, giving him just enough of a view to satisfy his curiosity. She was creating something out of old tires and glass from a broken windshield. She paints the glass with careful strokes of her fine paintbrush. He can't help but watch as she makes shattered glass into stained glass. The fact that she's using her left hand surprises him. Wasn't she right handed the other day? He decides on her being ambidextrous.

Her peaceful expression fascinates him as much as her precision and focus does. Its as if nothing else in the world matters to her but what she is working on. He admires the way her hair spills over her shoulders like a waterfall in uneven waves. Her clothes looked like they'd seen better days. But they somehow made her that much more attractive. They somehow humbled her and made her approachable.

Before she can notice him, he decides to take his leave, and start for the Main House. He supposed he'd ask her about the picture another day. And maybe, one day, she'd tell him what she was making.

XxX

I turn the knob until the music shuts off and I plop down out of exhaustion. Even though I was tired, it was a good tired. It meant I did something worthwhile. I managed to hot glue the glass along the inner rim of the tire. After attaching it, I painted it blends of purple, black, and gold along the edges. I wasn't sure what to make of the piece yet. Maybe it wasn't complete. Maybe it would become part of a bigger piece someday. Or maybe it would never be finished, and I would just keep adding to it.

Someone knocks on the door, and out of reflex, I yank my sheet off the bed, and throw it over the art piece. I never let anyone I knew see my art. Only strangers when I anonymously entered art competitions and auctions. It was safer with strangers because they didn't know the thoughts and feelings behind it. They didn't know who crafted it.

"Mika," Tohru calls, in between knocks. "Can I come in? I need to ask you something."

After double checking that everything was in order, I turn the knob, and I see that Tohru isn't alone. A blonde and dark-haired girl stand just behind her, watching me through wary eyes.

"You said you wanted to...ask me something?"

Tohru nods and clasps her hands together. "Yes! I wanted to know if you would like to play a game of Rich Man Poor Man at Uo's house. I know you two don't really know eachother and all...but, I just wanted to see if you would like to join anyway." She waves her hands frantically. "Of course you don't have to or anything!"

The blonde - Uo I presume - was looking at me like she was daring me to decline. The brunette beside her was watching me through deep purple eyes. By the way she eyed me, it was as if she sensed my hesitation or something.

I was about to tell her 'no thank you' when the dark girl spoke up. "You do not have to fear us. We will not hurt you."

How did she know...?

I'm not gonna cave...I'm not gonna cave. No matter what they throw at me, I won't go. I have to stand my ground or I'll end up getting in a mess again. Just when I think I have it in the bag, Tohru looks up at me with Puppy Dog eyes. Eyes that reminded me of Sugar's. Ugh, this girl and her mind games.

"Okay, I'll go. Just let me get ready."

"That's wonderful." Tohru cheers, clapping her hands together.

I close the door behind me and rest against it.

What have I gotten myself into?

XxX

"I fold," Uo declares, slapping her cards onto the table. "I pass."

I flip the card over and set it down beside hers. "Its a 2...I win."

The blonde's mouth drops open and she looks up at me. "You! What are you, some kind of...card genie?!"

Hana shakes her head and takes a sip of her tea. The bitterness doesn't make her flinch, not even once. "Mika has won every game so far. And we've played three games."

Tohru's blues glisten and she takes one of my hands in her own. "You're so good at it! You must practice a lot."

I shrug and try to hide the contentment in my expression. I feel the desire to smile rising up again, but I smother it before it can surface. Even though I didn't show it, I felt...warmth. Something I hadn't experienced in months. "I don't really play _this_ game. I used to play Solitaire all the time when I was growing up." Because I never had anyone else to play with.

And just like that, any happiness I felt in the moment vanished into thin air.

Uo shakes her head and brings her arms over her head in a stretch. "Well you could have fooled me. You gotta help me beat Orange-top sometime. He's always griping whenever we play. He's such a wuss."

I don't respond because I don't know if there will be a next time. I'm not even sure why I came out here today. But even though I was sure I'd regret it, I had fun today.

Whoa.

XxX

When Shigure returns from the Main House, he comes to the realization that Mika is still out with Tohru. Finally, he has a chance to sneak the picture back into her room. He tip-toes down the hallway for good measure and pushes the door open. After finding her French textbook and sticking it in between a random set of pages, his gaze falls to her sculpture. It enthralls him and demands that he steps closer. He runs his hands along the smooth curves and the tire she painted eggshell white. The grooves of the tire itself don't compare to the stained glass that she crafted. Judging by the flawless execution, she's probably been painting for a long time.

He never paid mind to the room itself when he was tutoring her. But he couldn't help but notice how glimpses of Mika's personality were everywhere he looked. Violet and ebony dominated the room and showed itself in almost everything; from her cheap lantern to her bedding. Paintings hung from the walls, none of which he understood, but he couldn't help but feel mesmerized by.

Another photograph jutting out from her pillow got his attention. He debated on whether or not to give in to his nosy side. Of course, his busybody nature won out, and he crossed the room to see what it was. The photograph registers in his mind of who it could be. Putting two and two together, he knew who she was. It was a picture of Mika's daughter. He knew because her daughter was a spitting image. Her beautiful raven hair fell upon long eyelashes that caressed round cheeks and accentuated eyes of jade. Her one dimple matched her Mother's and only the nose was different.

"What else are you hiding, I wonder..." Shigure mumbles, flipping the photograph over to reveal a time stamp. In fading taupe, June 5th is recorded along with a name. Haruka.

XxX

By the time Tohru and I arrive back home, she sets off to shower, and I head to the kitchen. I break out the chopping board, a banana, and a knife and begin slicing away. Late at night there was one thing I _always_ craved. Peanut butter and banana sandwiches. It was something I picked up when I lived in New Jersey for three months before leaving for Japan.

After sliding the peanut butter top back on, I hear approaching footfalls, and I suck in a breath.

"Mika, can I see you in my study for a minute?"

But I really wanted to eat...

With a sigh, I follow Shigure to his lair. He takes a seat at his desk and slides his glasses off. He gestures for me to take a seat in front of him, and by judging the seriousness in his eyes, my heart rate spikes instantly. He sticks a pencil behind his ear and his gaze meets mine. Oh goodness, what did he find out? Maybe he heard about that incident in Okinawa. Man, you wreck one stolen car...

"Mika..." Spit it out already! "Will you help me with this? I'm having trouble with this story I'm writing."

I seriously considered slugging him for scaring me like that. But, helping with writing didn't sound too bad.

He starts clacking at his keyboard and glancing at the computer screen periodically. "There's a female character I'm writing for. Usually I'm well acquainted with the way a woman thinks. But sadly, there are parts of the female mind that are still a mystery to me."

I bite back a smirk. "You want to know how women respond to pervy men?"

Shigure blinks at me and his lips lift into a grin. "Not exactly, although if I do need help with that, I know who to ask now. I want to know how a woman would respond if she finds out a man was having an affair with her Mother. If, say, the man had something to gain from the act."

My mind spirals with that question. What kind of person does that?

"The woman should slap him. No, wait...she should stomp him into the ground. Even if the man had ulterior motives, its still just as sick. Actually, its even worse...how much time do you have to work on this, anyway?"

Shigure pulls out a spiral notebook and starts flipping through the pages. "I was supposed to be done two weeks ago. I had to receive an extension from my poor, poor editor. Is it my fault that it takes time for inspiration to strike?"

That's one thing we had in common. I was late everywhere I went, and he barely made his deadlines.

I remove my leather jacket and sling it over the chair. "I'll help you," I say, as if I'm being put upon. "But I want my sandwich. Its on the kitchen counter."

He gives me a thumbs up and winks. "Wonderful."

While he's gone, the warmth comes over me once more. I've always wanted to write and this is pretty close. If only life worked like writing, and you could create your own endings.

 **Chapter Three: Repair The Broken**

I'm running. My heart is racing, daring to keep up with my pace. High-strung and on the brink of destruction, I run to her. Its a constant push and pull, trying to retrieve oxygen I lacked. I inhale, but I can't exhale. My chest is too tight and I can't...I can't breathe. I can't help but wonder, why I am running. Am I being chased? Am I going after someone?

I suppose I am.

Haruka...if only I could reach you. I'm sorry...I'm sorry I failed as your Mother the moment you were conceived.

I'm sorry...

Just as I reach that place, someone steps in my path. And its him.

Her Father.

I try to run past him, but he grabs my arm, and throws me to the ground. Now he's...he's laughing at me.

He's laughing at my stumble.

He's laughing at my failure.

He's laughing at his victory. And...I hate it. But I can't do anything about it because I'm sinking. The thick brown dirt is swirling and entangling my legs, dragging me beneath the surface

And he's laughing.

He's laughing at me.

He's laughing at my failure.

He's enjoying this.

I dig my nails into the dirt. Chunks of it cake my nails and crumble beneath my fingertips. But it doesn't quit and its getting darker and darker. His laughter is getting louder and louder...I'm scared...the light is growing dim.

I'm submerged beneath the earth and shrouded in pitch black darkness while I drown in filth. It doesn't take long for the dirt to smother and muffle my cries for Haruka...for him to have mercy or an inkling of sympathy. To save me. But he won't and he doesn't. I inhale but I can't exhale because the clumps of dirt are filling my lungs and drowning out my screams.

The bitterness of the ground I ran on runs down my throat and chokes the last bit of oxygen out of me.

I can't help but think...if only...if only this were more than a nightmare.

If only it were real.

XxX

Coming out of a nightmare is like waking up to a hangover. My head was pounding, my mouth was dry, and I felt groggy. I'd never experienced one, but I understood why people didn't quit once they started. The pain was so unbearable that the only way to avoid it was to drink again.

Now I understood.

To take my mind off it, I freshen up, and start on the laundry.

I had the unfortunate task of washing the guys' boxers. Man! Now I'm gonna have flashbacks for weeks after this.

I uncap the bottle of detergent and carelessly pour it into the water as the washer fills up. I can't remember the last time I've actually done this sort of thing. After six months of my neighbor making trips to the laundromat for me, I don't really remember how.

Do I pour a capful of the detergent...or a capful of the fabric softener?

This crap was complicated.

I step out into the hallway to find Tohru or look it up on Shigure's computer when I almost run someone over. I stumble backwards, but just before my head can hit the wall, the almost-victim latches onto my arms and steadies me. First Drew and now this guy. I was quickly becoming a klutz.

"Sorry...um-"

"-Mika," I supply, as he releases me. I find myself staring directly at him, clothed in a black turtleneck and pants, draped in a white coat. If the rings and chains weren't scary enough, his dark grey eyes and black and white hair were. At least he had one thing going for him...the same thing I dreaded but couldn't avoid. The way he made my pulse race and my heart beat out of my chest, just from his looks.

Not to mention his voice...that wasn't all that bad either.

He scratches the back of his head, searching the hallway for something. "Do you know where the phone is? I can't seem to find it. My bike needs a new stator and I need a ride."

He was so open. Whoa.

Then something in my mind clicks. He needed his bike repaired.

"I can help you. I mean, if you want me to. It could just need a tightening. Can I take a look at it?"

He steps aside and gestures as if to say, 'be my guest' and I follow him outside the house.

His motorcycle was so beautiful I felt myself tearing up. And I don't cry...ever. The sleek razor black and red blazed under the afternoon sun. The chrome handles were spotless and shone like a magnifying glass, somehow not even as attractive as the set of wheels.

He steps in front of me and smirks. "Not bad, huh?"

I shake my head, too shocked to say anything.

"So what do you think? Does it need a new part or can it just be tuned up? I kind of suck with maintenance and usually have someone else do it."

After getting a full scope of the bike I almost smile with the realization.

I was right.

"She just needs a quick tune up. And- wait. I have the washer running. If you help me with that, I'll have your bike up and running by the time you get back."

He doesn't even hesitate before reaching for my hand and shaking it. "Okay. But will you show me where the laundry room is? I don't know if I can find it."

Why do I feel like he sucks with directions _too_?

XxX

"à la mode. This is an easy one, Mika."

I crush three Altoids between my teeth as I search my mind for the answer. It wasn't as easy as brunette, I can tell you that.

"Um...perfect? No, wait...in style?"

Shigure gives a tight smile and flips to the next card. "I guess I can give you that one. Its usually used when referring to ice cream. Here's one you might like...art déco."

One _I_ might like? I didn't like any of them.

"I'll just take a wild guess...art decoration?"

He nods and his lips relax into a kinder smile. "Decorative art, yes! That's one correct. See, you'll have it down cold in no time."

"Alright. The next-"

"-Something you said bothered me just now."

He swallows and hides the cards behind his back. "Oh? And why is that?"

"How did you know that I would like something relating to art? Did you...see me?"

He sighs and his shoulders slump. "Yes I saw you sculpting. I just don't get why you hide it...you're so closed off Mika."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snap, annoyed with how nosy he was being.

He sets the cards down and leans back into the desk chair. "I saw the pictures...of your daughter."

I can feel myself shut down the moment he says it. How did he see?

I flip open a new page in my notebook and pretend to write French vocabulary down. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"But Mika-"

"-Just leave it alone Shigure. There's no point in talking about it."

His eyebrows draw together in pity and he directs his gaze to a painting on my wall. Its a painting of what I wished I could have been to Haruka but couldn't be...a Mother.

"Is she safe at least?"

I blink up at him in surprise. "Why do you care Shigure?" I heave a sigh and recap my pen; sitting up with my back against the pillows. "Yeah she's fine. She's doing really well and she's better off where she's at."

I guess I shouldn't have said anything more because he takes it as me opening up and scoots closer. "Do you see her?"

"No. I have visitation rights because it was an open adoption...but that's all I'm telling you. Okay? I don't like talking about this."

I can tell he's wondering why I don't go see her, but thankfully, he doesn't press it. Instead he jumps up and extends a hand as a smile plays along his lips. "Where do you like to go to take your mind off things?"

XxX

I take Shigure where I always went for inspiration and distraction. The Art Museum. The white marble tiles mirrored and reflected the age old paintings hanging from the walls. The smiles and tears each picture brought made me want my own on display for the world to see. I didn't want them to know it was me that made them...but I wanted to share my heart with the world. Maybe that was one of my many flaws. I always put my heart out for the world to gawk at and reject like I'm different from them and inhuman.

It was too scary for me to try.

Shigure follows me to a painting of the animals of the Chinese Zodiac. All the animals are done in watercolors over an acrylic background; black as an oil spill. The twelve are encircling one another with the dog in the center of them. I'd heard something about the dog being the Father of the zodiacs, but I knew it was as much of a myth as the story itself. A dog being in charge of great animals like the tiger and cow was laughable.

"Which is your favorite?" Shigure asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. For some reason I can tell that he's smiling. But its not a lecherous grin like the one he usually wore. But it seems heartfelt somehow...must be my imagination.

I roll his question over in my mind as I look at each and every one. After a few more moments I decide. "I don't have a favorite. To say that I did would make one seem less important than the other...kind of like how the cat is treated."

I feel him step closer and his dark eyes land on the animal in the center. "What do you think of the dog, then?"

I just shrug and dig through my pockets for my container of Altoids. "I've never really liked them." Of course that wasn't true, but I liked messing with him.

He looks at me like I just fessed up to killing someone. "Such painful words...what's wrong with the dog?"

I turn towards him, keeping my expression blank and serious. "I'm allergic. How can I like something I'm allergic to?"

Shigure looks away and starts towards another painting, mumbling something.

What's with him?

"What exactly do you like about this?"

I take a step forward so that I'm face to face with my favorite painting. It was a painting from centuries ago and was created by a man shortly after his betrothal. The way he painted his fiancee' was so beautifully admirable, it hurt to see it, knowing I didn't have what he did. But the way he captured the fire in her eyes and the light and life the she exuded with made me want to hope for something half as wonderful.

The golden hues in her raven hair, catches and gleams under a single spotlight. Even though every painting had spotlights of their own, I felt this painting didn't need one. It was already flooded with life and light that I'd only dreamed of. It was bright enough.

I shrug, wrapping my arms around myself. "I don't know...I guess the way things are immortalized on canvas that normally fade into nothing. Life on Earth is so temporary and we're just vapor in the wind, here and gone tomorrow. But paintings and sculptures give us a legacy and provide people with an idea of what life was like...what _we_ were like." I take a seat on one of the benches and take in every detail of the painting, even though it was already imprinted in my mind. "When I make things, it seems too personal to share with people that I know. Its so revealing and...scary. Its like I'm giving someone access to my thoughts and my past, and the very idea of pain like that...it terrifies me."

His gaze meets mine and for a moment, I catch a flash of something like understanding, before it fades. He mutters something again, but this time I catch it. "That's why I write what I do."

When he looks at me again, his somber expression has been replaced with that perverted grin. "I'm actually having a lovely time. Mika, I was wondering..."

He sure does ask a lot of questions.

"...if you would teach me how to sculpt someday."

"Whoa, seriously?"

"Because it would be great material for a steamy romance I'm writing. Its a story between an art teacher and her student."

I should have known.

I roll my eyes and follow him upstairs to the next exhibit. "Fine. But only in exchange for French tutoring."

He smiles warmly at me for the second time and says, "Deal."

XxX

Ayame and Shigure are seated at the Kotatsu, enjoying a reunion for the first time in a few weeks. Everyone else was at work, training, or tending the secret base so it just left the two of them.

They were sipping on Jasmine Tea that Tohru had prepared before stepping out and were catching up with one another.

Shigure loops his index finger through the handle of his teacup and brings it to his lips. The brew coats his tongue as he smiles over the lips of the cup. Ayame tilts his head in curiosity and can't help but wonder what brought on that look.

"What exactly are you thinking about 'Gure? Not another woman, I hope."

Shigure stills, like a deer in headlights, before downing the rest of the cup in silence. Now Ayame is even more curious seeing him react in such a way.

"A penny for your thoughts? If you do, I might even let you see a picture of my dear brother in a dress. I found a copy on Ha'ri's desk."

Shigure's head snaps up and he gapes at the snake. "What? This I have to see." His lip juts out in a pout and he folds his arms. "Why am I just now hearing about this? Oh, Hatori can be so cold..."

Ayame bobs his head and crosses his legs. "He loves us, he just doesn't show it. Now spill 'Gure and don't leave out a single detail. I want to know what woman has captured your heart."

The dog rises from his seat and retrieves an apple from the fruit bowl. "There is no woman Aya'."

Ayame frowns and takes a large gulp of his tea. "But what about Akito...if you ask me, I wouldn't put it past him pretending to be a man. I mean look at his form. If anybody can spot a female form, I can."

"Ah yes, but what about Yuki? He's not exactly masculine from what I've seen either."

Ayame sighs and nods. "True, true. Its unfortunate that he didn't inherit my beautiful, manly, strong body. But what can I say?"

Ayame doesn't bring up the 'woman' again but he had a pretty good idea that there was one. By the dreamy, faraway look in his Gure's eyes, he'd say it was a pretty safe bet that the feelings went beyond platonic. He decided to ignore the look of infatuation for the time being and investigate on his own time. If it was the last thing he did, he'd find out who won Shigure's heart, and play matchmaker.

How could he refuse?

XxX

Shigure and I have decided on weekly trips to the grocery store. Everyone but Kyo would write what they needed on the list and Sunday we would get all the items.

Shigure's searching for wine bottles while I buy my packs of instant Ramen. Even though Tohru assured me that she didn't mind making dinner, I still felt bad about it, and made my cheap "dinner" on the sly. I would wait till she went off to work and everyone was off doing other things. Then, I would sneak downstairs and boil two packs of Shrimp Flavored Ramen. No one's caught me yet.

After setting my handcart down and dropping a few packs into it, heavy and sloppy footsteps approach. The sound of them makes my blood run cold because I recognize those footsteps. The last time I heard them was in the dead of night as I was about to leave and he stopped me with a kiss I didn't want. We hadn't seen eachother since, and instead communicated by phone. At least, for awhile. He would beg me to come over and let him do it again, but I never did.

His arms snake around my waist like they're meant to be there. But the odd thing is, nothing about it feels alien or unfamiliar. It was surreal but it felt like it could have been yesterday instead of a year ago. The last time I felt something like this...

And just like before, that familiar smell of whiskey and smoke surrounds me like a cloak that I can't shrug off. He nuzzles my neck slightly and I let him. I don't know why, but I feel so powerless against him. I feel like...he owns me, just because of Haruka. I feel like I can't walk away from him, or that I shouldn't.

"Hey babe. Miss me?" His words are soaked in exhaustion and alcohol, making them slur and run together. His hands are moving lower and lower, even though we're in the middle of a grocery aisle, he doesn't care. My arms drop to my sides and he presses himself against me, inhaling and exhaling that nauseating smell of whiskey. "Now that you left behind the dead weight, what do you say you and me go some place? You know how I make you sound. I want to hear it..." Yoshi smirks against the nape of my neck as fury builds inside of me. The fact that he referred to _my_ daughter as dead weight made me want to punch him until I couldn't stop. I hated him. Now I remember who he was. I remember...I can't stand him.

But before I can escape his hold, he's yanked back, and he slams into a shelf sending packages of Maruchan crashing to the floor. If I didn't know any better...I'd think it was Shigure that just helped me. I think it was...

"I think you should leave now," Shigure says calmly with a tone dripping in venom. How he managed to convey both, I couldn't tell you.

Yoshi's lips slip into a smug grin and his head cocks slightly. "Oh yeah? And who's gonna make me?"

For a moment I thought Shigure would clock him. But instead, Shigure releases him, and takes a few steps towards me. He plasters on a smile and reaches for my hand, picking up the handcart with the other. He leans in slightly and I can practically feel Yoshi seething as his lips brush my earlobe. Goosebumps rise on my skin as he whispers something. Something that takes me a minute to register. "Who is that?"

Instead of answering him, I loop his fingers through my own, and pull him along to the checkout counter. I silently promise to explain later but urge him to take me away from here. I didn't want to be around Yoshi...I just wanted to leave.

Thankfully, we did.

 **Chapter Four: Painting My Heart And Soul**

After Shigure and I got back home with the groceries, I planned on just going to bed. I wanted to leave the night behind and succumb to whatever nightmare would rear its ugly head. But Shigure? He had other ideas.

We walk for what seems like a couple of years.

I kept my eyes on the full moon that followed, in awe of its luminosity. I thought about painting the moon in the past, but I never liked to be out at night...or at least, alone. Unless it was the fifth of the month and I had no choice.

Being alone all the time never allowed a moment to paint the moon.

As my feet start to ache, a tall building towers in the shadows, and the water that surrounds it glistens. I couldn't quite make out what it is - even squinting my eyes - as Shigure leads me over a reddish-brown bridge, never letting go of my hand.

"Welcome to Byodin Temple," Shigure declares, gesturing with his free hand. "We are about to enter Phoenix Hall."

Why would he take me to a temple? The last time I'd been to one was for New Year's Eve when I visited my Grandma. That was a decade ago. But I hardly got to see her with my Parents on the lam. I haven't really experienced a real holiday since that day. But it was weird. I didn't feel sad about it like I thought I should.

The full moon's light causes the shadows to shift and uncover the tall building. I can see it now. Its more wide than tall, but it practically boasted with how intricate and finely crafted it was.

"Why are we here?"

Shigure smiles and he relaxes his hold. "There are two places I always like to go for comfort and inspiration. This temple and a Japanese play. That's where I want to take you next."

"But I don't understand..."

His smile falters slightly and he stops walking. "I don't know who that was at the store, but I could tell that he bothered you. Was he..." Realization hits him like a freight train and he staggers back. "Is he-"

"Yes...he's her Father," I cut in, my voice barely above a whisper.

No one was around. It was already quiet before. But now? Now it was _too_ quiet. It was the kind of silence that followed confessions and heartbreak. The kind that stopped where betrayal began.

His face falls completely as the shadows of night mature him. It was my sobering words and chill of the air that brought the onslaught of solemn we now faced. And strangely, I felt bad. I felt bad for ruining his night, for barging into his life. I brought nothing but trouble with me everywhere I went, even with my parents locked up, trouble still followed.

He takes a few steps forward and he cocks his head to the side. His eyebrows draw together and he smirks. "Its odd. Tohru can hardly stop smiling but you-"

"-Never smile," I finish, kicking at a splintered beer bottle on the ground. This was a sacred place, but where winos were concerned, that never stopped them.

He stills. And I can't help but think about what's running through his mind. His jaded views of how people should act. He seemed like one of those people that expect normalcy from everyone they meet. Their kind of normal.

Yoshi expected one type of girl to want him and sleep with him. If they didn't have a tiny waist with big boobs, you could forget it. To him, you weren't worth his time, and you weren't considered the normal he liked. Unfortunately, I qualified for the latter, and things fell apart in the aftermath.

But with Shigure, his normal seemed to be different. I bet his normal meant a person that laughed or at least smiled once in a while. Someone with a sense of humor and a bubbly personality. He wanted another Tohru and I was nothing but a disappointment.

He folds his arms and shakes his head, his smile growing. "I didn't mean it as an insult. I can never tell what you're thinking by looking at you. It would become boring if you smiled all the time. It would ruin the mystery of you."

I blink at him in shock. "You don't mind?"

"Not at all," he says, reaching for my hand again. "But, if you did smile every once in awhile I wouldn't complain."

Chills break out on my arms as a shudder ripples through my body. It really is cold tonight. Its only September but its freezing outside. Its kind of funny, it seemed warmer just a second ago.

He perks up and starts back in the direction we came, dragging me along with him. "We should go. The play will start any minute."

"I guess its better than Hentai."

He looks back at me and sees me fighting my smile. "Nothing's better than Hentai Mika. Always remember that as lesson one from your Sensei."

I roll my eyes. "Since when did I say you were my Sensei?"

"Its like I said. Knowing the answers would ruin the mystery."

XxX

"Here you go Mika-chan," Tohru says, setting down a yellow ceramic bowl of soup. The only great thing about being sick was getting to try Tohru's incredible soup. Just from a spoonful, it tasted like an explosion of robust flavors. The broth was creamy and subtly sweet, topped with chicken and vegetables that brought tears to my eyes. Either that or my sneeze attacks. But it was so rich and frothy...her soup made me sound like a food critic on the cooking channel. It was that awesome.

"Thanks Tohru. Are you sure you don't mind covering my shift? Its so burdensome. You've done so much already."

She grins and slides my black cap onto her head. "Its no trouble at all. You're my friend and I don't mind."

The spoon almost slips out of my hand and into my soup.

I didn't mean to make friends. I even tried to stop it this time. But honestly, I don't know why I bother. She'd make friends with just about anyone. If someone broke in, she'd give them a hug, and say he worked hard and that he should never give up.

"Is it okay with your boss? I wouldn't want to get you in trouble or anything."

I wave that away. "As long as someone does the job, she could care less. You'll be fine. But she's a total psycho when it comes to order. You'll be working concession so make sure the butter and salt don't mix, that the straws are organized by color, and that the counter stays clean at all times. And I do mean _all times_. Other than that, its no problem."

Tohru brings her hand up in a salute and bobs her head. "Roger."

I snort a laugh. "That isn't necessary."

Her blue eyes grow wide and she clasps her hands together. "But it's a mission. I just hope I don't fail after you entrusted me with such a task."

"I'm sure you'll do fine. Now go. Be on time. It might give my boss a heart attack. Then I get more time off."

Her eyes bug out even more. "That's terrible!"

"I was kidding Tohru..."

"Oh. I almost forgot, Shigure said to let him know if you need anything."

What was that man up to? It seemed like he devoted most of his time to me lately...I was starting to wonder about that.

I nod and place my bowl on the night stand, pulling up the covers. "Okay, thanks."

XxX

My throat hurts. Actually, that's an understatement. It feels like my throat's been ripped out and sloppily put back in place. It feels like I swallowed a cup of rocks. It feels like...well...crap.

"Shigure," I croak, coughing from the pain just his name brought. How the heck was I supposed to call for him then?

In frustration, I sit up and fling the covers off. Dizziness hits me and sends me toppling to the floor. If I thought my throat hurt...that was nothing compared to my face. But my throat was too sore for me to even say as much.

Thankfully, smacking my face into the floor was loud enough to get his attention.

Footsteps sounded louder and louder and my door flung open. "Are you okay? What are you doing on the floor?"

"I'm a fan of wood flooring. I wanted to admire it close up," I say, my throat flaming.

"Really?"

"No."

"My, my...being sarcastic at a time like this. How do you do that?"

I peer up at him through narrow slits. "Could you help me up, then ask questions?"

XxX

"Even when you're this sick, you're still so good with cards. If I'd known a card shark was living under my roof, I would have never agreed to play," Shigure says, sighing as he places his cards face down. I recognized that move from all of my opponents. The fold of shame.

I shrug. "I could have hustled you. At least I didn't ask you to place a bet."

He rolls the sleeves of his kimono and clucks his tongue. "I guess strip poker is out of the question then. By the end of it, I'd be the only one without clothes."

"Stop being a perv Senesei."

His eyes twinkle and he grins. "You admitted I'm your Sensei?"

"You can't prove that."

"But you-"

"No."

"You cut me off again Mika. So that is a habit of yours after all."

The corner of my lips twitch and I bite my lower lip to keep from smiling. Today was actually...okay. He gave me a lozenge so my throat didn't even hurt anymore. Shigure's innuendos aside, my day wasn't bad at all.

He rests his chin in the palm of his hand, looking on wistfully. "You know Mika, I still don't know that much about you. What's your family like? Do you happen to have a twin?" He waggles his eyebrows in emphasis.

I pop open my container of Altoids and toss back a handful. Ignoring the burn of the cinnamon, I crush them between my teeth. "Don't you know the saying 'curiosity killed the cat'?"

He mutters something about Kyo but I can't make out what he says. "You truly are a mystery."

I wrap my blanket around my shoulders. "But I thought you said I'm better that way."

"Some mysteries should be solved."

"And some are better left _unsolved_. Besides, if I told you anything about my parents, you might get subpoenaed."

He bursts out laughing and clutches his sides as if I just made a joke. He had no idea how serious I really I was. It isn't until he notices my blank expression that he swipes at the tears in his eyes and sobers up. "You're not kidding?"

I shake my head and sit cross-legged. "Let's just say the only outfits in my parents' wardrobes are orange jumpsuits. I mean, now that I think about it...my life is actually kind of funny. Can you imagine what career day would have been like for me? Or worse. Take-Your-Kid-To-Work Day?" I actually laugh at the thought of it. "My Mom taking me to a dark alley and having me meet one of her clients. She would teach me all the ins and outs of prostitution. And Dad? He would teach me Conman 101 like how to shake down old ladies or something." Now I'm laughing even more and Shigure's just gaping at me. I probably seem insane now.

I clear my throat to recompose myself and pull the blanket tighter around myself. "I guess its funny to me because I haven't really laughed in a long time. I guess its kind of like bottled up feelings and when you cry, you cry a lot. For me, when I laugh, I laugh a lot because its so rare."

Shigure straightens and his dark eyes grow in intensity. "Why is that? Why is it that you never laugh?"

"I-"

Suddenly commotion starts from the kitchen and footsteps thunder through the house.

"Keep it down you stupid cat. Do you want to wake Miss Wakahisa?"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO YA GIRLY RAT."

"Why don't you just return to the mountains and fight bears? Maybe they'll let you win every once in a while."

"I TOLD YOU I WASN'T FIGHTING WITH BEARS. WHY DON'T YOU GO OFF AND STUDY TIL' YOUR EYES BLEED."

"What a clever comeback," Yuki chides, his tone coated in sarcasm.

They never knew when to stop. Thankfully, my conversation with Shigure dropped, and I went upstairs to get in more sleep. But as I lied there, my thoughts raced, and kept me awake for an hour more. I wondered what Shigure thought of what I said, and what would have been said had our conversation continued.

XxX

October 5th.

The fifth always smelled of paint and smoke. Around the corner was a hot spot for drug dealers and chain smokers.

The fifth was always an eerie quiet. Even with the activity around the corner, little sounds were made.

I face another brick wall, wondering where to begin, and what to paint.

Then under the veil of dusk I get an idea.

So I paint.

I paint everything from the hollows of her cheekbones to the dimple that matched my own. The streams of black hair and the beauty of her eyes. When I finish I take a step back and stare for the longest time. I just look at her smiling face and the contentment in her eyes and I feel pain in my heart. I could never make her smile like that. Her parents did. She was constantly smiling in the pictures they sent me. Always giggling and grinning.

But it was almost like I gave that to her.

She had the joy I hadn't felt.

She had the life that I lacked.

She had the heart that was once mine...

I gave them all to her and I had nothing left. Nothing worth anything.

I only felt guilt and pain and sorrow.

I felt dead in a living body.

I had a hardened heart...

I gave all the good to her. But...

I'd do it again.

"Mika," a voice calls, causing me to jump out of my skin.

I raise my hands up in the air and lower myself until I'm on my knees. I knew the drill. I'd seen my parents go through it enough times.

"Officer, if you're here to arrest me, you should know...I turn 18 December 31st so I can't be processed to the full extent of the law yet. Can you let me off with a slap of the wrist and consider it a warning?"

Suddenly the 'officer' chuckles and approaches me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Well, that's not protocol for an arrest. Although its enough to call for an arrest.

"Mika, I'm not a police officer."

I turn my head slightly and look up. Surely enough, Shigure's looking back down at me, clearly amused at the whole situation. I shrug his hand off and shove at him. "Then at least tell me who you are next time! How did you even know where I was? Are you a stalker on the side?"

He shakes his head and grips the back of his neck. "I heard the front door close and wondered if someone was breaking in. Kyo and Yuki already wreck my poor house on a daily basis. Of course I would be concerned."

I scoff. "Or nosy."

"That too," he says, shrugging. "What are you doing here anyway?" He finally looks at the wall and his mouth drops open as he steps forward. He reaches a hand out, tempted to touch it, when he realizes that the paint is still wet.

"You painted her?"

I nod and finish packing my art materials away, trying to hide the stupid redness in my cheeks. Why was I even blushing? I don't blush...ever.

"Beautiful."

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "Yeah, she is."

"Yes, but I was referring to the mural."

His words take me aback and my paintbrushes clatter to the concrete, rolling across the way. He hurries to help me collect them and I keep my head down to hide my face. Why? Why did his words make me so...I don't know...what is this feeling anyway?

Its unfamiliar and its _kinda_ creeping me out.

"There you are," Shigure proclaims, packing the rest of the paintbrushes away. "Mika, can I ask you another question?"

"That depends on the question."

I get to my feet and he clasps his hands behind his back. I could already tell it wasn't gonna be a good question.

"Why won't you see her? I'm sure she would love to see you. She clearly means a lot to you. I can tell by the way you dedicate so much of your art and time to her. The way you hold onto pictures of her shows how much you love her...so, why?"

I exhale and rock back and forth on my heels. I almost laughed at how ridiculous that was. "She doesn't think about me. She's only a year and four months old, she's not old enough to care."

"Maybe she's too young to differentiate. I won't fill you with false hope. But, what about when she's older? What about the times she'll ask who her Mom is? Do you want to take that away from her?"

Its better to go through life with no strings attached anyway. She's better off.

I shake my head and begin walking away, wishing he'd take the hint. But of course, he follows. "This isn't your place Shigure. You say you don't want to pry and yet, that's all you do."

"Because I care."

I clench my fists and spin around so quick that he nearly falls back. "That's a lie! You don't care about me. People that say that screw me over. People that say they care only say it for their own personal gain. There is no reason for you to care for me. What have I done for you? Live in your house and not pay rent? Eat up your food and waste water? Burden you with my miserable excuse for a life? There is nothing that I've done for you to care about me."

"Its not a lie Mika. I don't know why...but I do care about you. I'm not usually like this. Yes, I'm usually selfish. I don't know you that well and I don't know much about you. But I do know that I think about you. I do know that I want to help you and your daughter. I do know that I want you to be safe...and happy. If I don't care about you, then tell me what I feel to want these things."

Shocked into silence, he takes the opportunity to close the gap, and stand directly in front of me. "Its up to you to visit her of course. But I ask that you consider it. From what you told me, you don't spend time with your parents. You didn't have the life with them that you should have. I want you to ask yourself if that's what you want for your own daughter. Do you want her to go through life without knowing her real Mom?"

Without warning, my eyes burn, and blur with tears. And I never...I never cry.

Before I know it they fall like raindrops and slide down my cheeks, splashing to the ground between us. It feels like I don't have enough strength to breathe but I have no choice but to try. I hug my sides and shut my eyes as a weak attempt to hide from him. And I wish his words didn't make sense but they do.

I gnaw on my lower lip and force myself to open my eyes again. He's still watching me with patience and concern...something that normally made me feel weak. But this time it was almost empowering. If someone could actually care for me like this after just a month...maybe I have some sort of worth after all. Maybe I could be worth caring for if I worked at it. Maybe Haruka might care for me someday and ask about me.

"Alright," I say, pivoting and starting for his house. "I'll think about it. On one condition."

He fast walks until he falls into step beside me and he smiles. "Name it."

"I get to teach you how to paint."

His smile turns into a smirk and he bobs his head. "Okay. And when you go, I'll go with you. But only if you want me to."

I wipe my tears away with the sleeve of my hoodie and my heart clanks against my ribs. This man was nothing like any man I'd known. I thought he was like Yoshi and only concerned with looks and the superficial. Then I thought he was like Dad and that he only cared for what he wanted and not about others' feelings.

But he wasn't either of them.

He was a man of his own.

I catch myself off guard by the one word I say next.

"Okay."

XxX

Today was the day...

For a week I'd gone back and forth on my decision.

To go or not to go.

But now Shigure and I are standing outside of the house. Even though I was visiting my daughter, I dressed in one of my nicest outfits. But when it came to me, it was my nicest leather jacket and dress, paired with black vans.

Shigure steals a glance at me out of his peripherals before knocking on the door. I can't help but feel grateful that he did it, because I never would have.

A few moments later, the front door opens, and a tall blonde sticks her head out. I met her only once and that was June 5th, when the adoption process was finalized. The last time I saw her, her hair was crimson and her skin was pasty. Now it was an even tan and dotted with freckles. I didn't know much about her or her husband, Samui, except the fact they had one other daughter. Hika or Hiko, I couldn't really remember.

The woman flashes her perfectly straight teeth at me and bends over to pull me into a hug. She smells of flowers and honey and everything sweet.

"Stop it Ika. Don't smother the girl," an amused voice calls from behind her.

After Ika lets me go, I realize the man is Samui, a much shorter man with rosy cheeks and a pot belly. He honestly reminded me of how my Dad looked, except he had a legit job; accounting. Dull, but at least it was legal.

Shigure bows at the waist and offers a smile of his own. "Hello. I'm Mika's escort. She wanted to visit Haruka if that was okay."

Ika runs a hand through her blonde locks, revealing her darker roots, and giggles. "Of course honey. She's always been allowed to visit. Its about time you saw her, its been some time hasn't it?"

She leads me into the house and I can't help but look everywhere. The house was just like I imagined a parent's would be. There was a high chair, bibs, and bottles. Something was baking in the oven - bread I think - and there were tests and pictures pinned to the refrigerator. Even though I usually received high marks, my parents never paid mind to that stuff. Mom would always tell me that school was a waste of time and I could make a killing by following in her footsteps.

I follow Ika down a long hallway and into a bedroom. The walls are painted sunshine yellow, accented by white, and standing out against the beige carpeting. The room consists of a rocking chair, a changing table, a bookshelf, and a crib.

A crib...

Haruka.

Ika jogs to the crib, the beads around her neck jangling with each movement, as she reaches down to scoop her up. She walks back over to me with Haruka pressed firmly against her, cradling and supporting her neck.

And the closer Haruka gets, the longer I hold my breath. In this moment I realize that photographs don't do her justice. She was _so_ much more beautiful in person. How she looked now would be ingrained in my mind forever as I would paint her. I never wanted to forget what she looked like now.

Smiling...at me.

"Isn't she precious?" Ika looks up at me, beaming. "Would you like to hold her?"

I was miffed that she had to ask, but I knew why. She wasn't legally mine. I forfeited the right to be her Mom. I wasn't fit to be one anyway. Instead I shake my head and decided to just watch Ika be the Mother I couldn't.

"Did she start teething yet? I heard they start getting teeth pretty early on."

"She already did a few months ago. She wailed a lot then." She bounces Haruka. "Poor baby. It hurt you, didn't it?" As if Haruka understood, she gurgles and squints her eyes.

I take a step forward, unable to stop myself, I reach out and stroke her hand with my finger. She's so soft...and her hand is unblemished in comparison to my own. Mine was covered in calluses, scars, and paint. Hers were perfect and unmarred.

"Are you planning on enrolling her in a pre-school someday? Does she get along with her sister? And will you send me a video when she starts to walk and talk?"

Ika laughs as if my asking questions is 'cute' and shakes her head. "I still don't get why you don't want to be here sometimes...my husband and I requested the open adoption so she could still know her Mama. To answer your questions...would _you_ like her to be in pre-school?"

She was letting me decide?

"...yes, I think. I think she should."

Ika nods. "And she's taken a liking to Hiko. I'd just like to keep Haruka away from that boyfriend of Hiko's. He's bad news in my eyes."

I didn't want to be Shigure, but I had to ask since Haruka was involved. "Who is this boyfriend, if you don't mind my asking? I might know him and can put your mind at ease." And mine.

Ika frowns for the first time since I met her, and looks to the ceiling. "He has a goofy name. His parents named him after a character in one of those games you kids play. Mario? I think his name is Yoshi or something like that. Now that I think about it, he has the same name as Haruka's Father. He didn't show up at the hospital when she was born so I don't really know the boy."

Yoshi?

"Anyways, I will absolutely send you the home videos of Haruka. You don't even have to ask. Oh heck, I'll even invite you over when she starts crawling. Don't worry about a thing darlin'."

XxX

"Mika, are you okay? You've been quiet since we left."

I shrug and trudge forward, crushing gravel and rocks beneath the soles of my shoes. "What is there to say? She has parents there to care for her. She even has a sister..." I expel a breath, defeat weighing me down even more than before. "She's in the best hands possible."

"I don't believe that," Shigure says, patting me on the head. "I think being with her Mom would be the best for her."

I laugh, but its bitter. Its even painful for me to hear. "If that's the case, why would I give her up in the first place Shigure? Think about it. I was sixteen when I had Haruka. I was constantly moving around and relocating because of my parents...and judging by how good of a parent my Mom was, Haruka wouldn't make it."

He tries to cut me off but I don't let him. "My Mom? Yeah, she screwed up and got pregnant with one of her clients. Imagine trying to find who the Father of my sister was with all the men she slept with each week. Anyway, she was addicted to drugs and alcohol and couldn't bring herself to go to rehab for her issues. She continued popping pills and downing scotch even though she knew she was pregnant. And guess how that ended?"

Shigure casts his eyes to the ground and I can tell he knows the answer.

"She miscarried. She killed her own child because she didn't want to get control of her addiction. But she managed to find the strength to quit long enough to have me. Do you really think that I would do a good job with that kind of Mom as my guide? Do you really think Haruka is better off with me?"

Shigure glances up at me and grabs my cheek. I'm wondering what he's doing until he starts swiping away my tears with his thumb. I didn't even know I was crying this time...I just felt numb...I didn't even feel the tears trickling down my cheeks.

"My Mom always told me that I couldn't be one. At least, not a good one. She made me put Haruka up for adoption and I couldn't help but agree at the time. I thought, 'Yeah, maybe she's right about me,' and never gave it a second thought."

Before I realize it, we're back home. Just as I'm about to open the door, Shigure's grabs my hand and takes it in his own. He has a pained expression as if he wants to do more but can't. And for some reason I don't feel repulsed by holding hands with him... but, I actually needed it.


	7. Strangers In The Night

Oh gosh.

The cringe of this one is _so_ real.

* * *

Strangers In The Night

 **Chapter 1: Comatose Awakening**

The slow steady beeps of the monitor, how familiar they had become over the past...Who knows how long? I have no concept of time where I am. I had been trapped in my mind since the accident. I was truly in the dark about the whole thing. I had no idea if my parents were okay and oftentimes I was debating on whether I was actually dead.

* * *

Two weeks later there was a steady beep. A beep that seemed to go on for hours before the initial shock crumbled away. Panic set in and I called for the doctors and nurses. I couldn't even hear my own voice as time seemed to slow to a crawl. The only sound my ears trained on was the steady beep on her life monitor. After what seemed like a lifetime, her doctor rushed in and began chest compressions. A nurse ran up behind him with a defilibrator.

I simply stood there, helplessly watching the life seep out of her as she went into cardiac arrest. My own heart hammered in my chest and a gnawing sensation formed in my stomach as it contorted and twisted into knots all the while the doctor and nurse _attempted_ to save her life.

I thank God for the line that began moving once more on the monitor, and I fall to my knees in relief at the sight of her chest moving up and down as a sign of life returning. The doctor wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand before patting me on the back and the nurse trailed after him in the hallway.

I returned to my place by her bed and reached for her freezing cold hand. I patted her hand with a slight smile; relief continued to bubble inside of me and in the same instance, doubt crept into my head once more. Would she make it out of her coma? Or would her heart stop for good this time?

* * *

It was terrible really. Waking up for the first time in a month. My eyelids were heavy, like tons of weight. I slowly pried my eyes open and blinked a few times to clear my vision. Not long after I was aware of my aching throat, it didn't help the situation that it was raw and dry. My body was in excruciating pain...It was a pain like no other. I ached from my head to my feet. It felt as if my insides had been turned inside out and then back. My headache transistioned to a head splitting migraine. The quivering and wobbly sensation of my arms and legs made me realize how weak I was from lack of food.

I began shaking as the cold air from the air condition nipped at my skin. The blanket no longer seemed to be nearly warm enough. Wait...The one question that nagged at me most was the reasoning for being in the hospital in the first place?

Something bad happened, I know it. I just can't place my finger on what. Come to think of it, I don't even remember my name. I don't remember anything before now. A veil of fear swept over me and blackness swam across my vision as my mind threatened to force me into an unconscious wonderland. My eyes flitted around the room as my apprehension hit a new crescendo. My eyes fell upon the face of the person now entering the room.

I blinked to clear my vision and squinted as an attempt to make out the figure. His hair was black and white. _Well, at least I know my colors._ I couldn't help but think bitterly. He was tall, and covered from head to toe in black, his skin was milky white and his eyes were a haunting grey and filled with...Uh, what was that word...Fear, and...Relief? That seemed to fit his expression perfectly.

He hesitantly crossed over, the coffee cup in his left hand began to tremble and his eyebrows knitted together in amazement.

"Kotomi, you're awake." So that's my name? Probably not what I would have picked but...

"Who-" I managed to croak out before breaking out into a fit of coughs. The guy set his cup down before sitting behind me and lightly soothing me, rubbing circles into my back and he reached over to hand me the glass of water sitting there.

I was about to thank him before he shushed me. I guess it was pointless to talk anyway. But there were so many questions I was itching to have answered. I craned my head to peer suspiciously at this person before he smiled brightly at me. Who exactly was this guy anyway? And why did my I feel a fluttering sensation in my chest when he so much as looked at me? My frustration was getting the better of me and I was beginning to lose my cool before he handed me a tray of hospital food off of the food tray.

"I will answer any questions you have after you get your strength up first. Anything you need to know, you can write on this notepad."

* * *

That was how I spent the remainder of the night. I asked Hatsuharu (yes that was his name) questions and he willingly obliged. I found out my name was Kotomi Hakashi, I was apparently fifteen, a year younger than him, I loved jazz and played the saxophone in my free time, and my favorite flower was a lilac. There was so much more I wanted to know but he ordered me to rest. I tried to argue I had a month of rest and he chuckled before turning the lights off and heading out promising he'd come back in the morning. I didn't miss the flash of pain in his eyes before he left. I also didn't miss the forced laughs when I inquired about how I knew him. He didn't answer but simply redirected the conversation.

I do not know why he cared for me so, but I would be sure to find out.

I couldn't push back the fear that ebbed at my heart once more as the thought of him hiding something extremely important nearly overcame me. Something was very off, and I was afraid it had to do with what happened to me.

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Devastating Affirmation**

The next day Ha- Haru...Hatsuharu returned as promised but this time his grey eyes were now a lifeless back. That is until they fell on me, then they reverted back to the grey I recognized from yesterday. For some reason I felt uncomfortable seeing his eyes any other way, as if that look in his eyes brought about pain. I bit my lip nervously as he closed the distance and sat in the chair next to me. He slouched down and folded his arms behind his head before casting his inquiring gaze on me once more.

 _Funny, she used to do that all the time when she was apprehensive about something._

"Are you feeling better Ko?" I quirked a brow at the name before his eyes slid shut in remembrance.

 _That's right, 'Ko' doesn't exist anymore. It just...Kotomi now. She doesn't remember anything that's happened between us._

I didn't actually mind the sobriquet, it felt...Comforting, and familiar. I was amazed at how easily my vocabulary returned to me, it was just my personal life that was the problem. I nodded not even bothering to speak, afraid I wouldn't be able to.

"You don't have to be afraid to talk, you won't know if you don't try."

He seemed to read my thoughts, like he always did. Wait where'd that come from? I quickly shook my head to clear the thought before I opened my mouth. No sound came out, any words I thought to say died on my lips. I don't know why I was so on edge about the situation but I just couldn't.

I quickly reached for my notepad before dizziness hit me for a moment. I forgot the doctor told me to not move too much. I scribbled what had been bothering since he first walked in. " _Are you okay?"_ He smiled at my concern for him and nodded. "I wasn't in a good mood, but I am now." _Now that I get to see you doing better_ Haru mentally added and he stretched his legs out.

"So, what do you want to know?" I cocked my head as the thought suddenly hit me. How was he so confident in knowing the answer to anything I threw at him? Were we...That close? Guilt began to eat away at me at the realization. If that were the case it must have painful for me to not remember a thing about it.

Before I realized it being too caught up in my own thoughts, a tear slid from my eye. Without thinking about it, Hatsuharu quickly reached over and wiped it away with the pad of his thumb and caressed my cheek, I leaned into the touch without realizing it to which Haru's eyes widened in surprise. I was shocked at my own actions.

I didn't understand why I craved his touch so much, and felt at a loss when he didn't touch me. But it felt right, I even yearned to be closer to him and hug him.

Why did I think these things? I pulled away to sort my thoughts out and his face noticeably fell at my sudden resistance. Guilt once again hit me like a slap to the face. I hated seeing that expression on his face, I couldn't explain it but I loathed it. I reached for his hands and jerked him forward before pulling him into a hug. I buried my face into his neck. My heart raced as he reciprocated the gesture and the fluttering returned.

* * *

The doctor decided I could work on trying to stand. He stated it would be difficult for a month worth of lack of use, but I should keep trying for it will get better each time. Hatsuharu placed a hand on the small of my back, and the other on my left wrist in support to help me in case my legs failed me. I placed my right hand onto the bed, my arms wobbled as I attempted to push myself up before falling back on the bed.

Irritation began to stir in my chest as I made a second attempt...And a third. I gave up around the fifth try before returning to my original posistion of sitting in my bed, propped up with three pillows. Hatsuharu sank back in his seat and he patted my hand to offer comfort. It must have been something he did out of habit because that sense of familiarity returned.

However his expression became that of a crestfallen one as he didn't dare look me in the eye. After what seemed like years he finally faced me once more, he scooted up more and patted my hand once more bracing myself and urging him to come out with it.

"Ko- I mean, Kotomi. Do you remember anything about what happened to you?" I shook my head quickly before he sighed.

"Do you remember your parents." I rolled my eyes in response. No Hatsuharu I didn't remember a thing. Heck, I didn't even know why calling you by that full name irritated me, as if it were too formal for me to call him by it. It always left a bad taste in my mouth when I did as if there was something else I referred to him as.

"...How do I say this?...There was an accident a month ago. It was late at night, your parents had gone to bed early and you were up late studying." _I can't tell her she left the stove burning or she'd never forgive herself. Kotomi had always been that way._ "A fire broke out after someone in the same condo left the stove on. The flames quickly spread until they engulfed the house in its entirety. You had gotten out with minimal injuries, only that burn mark on your right leg as you barely escaped...Your parents-"

I held up a hand to stop him. I didn't need to hear anymore, I knew what he was going to say next and I didn't want the words to leave his mouth. Once words are spoken, it is so. I'd rather go on pretending that it didn't happen. And even though I don't know much about my parents, my vision swam with tears and despair crashed over me like a wave. Hatsuharu bowed his head in apology, and sympathy as tears spilled over onto my cheeks. They...They were...Gone?

* * *

After a few more days I was able to finally stand. Hatsuharu's face brightened at this, and this in turn caused that flutter to come back. I was happy to see him smiling.

After another two weeks I was able to walk to the bathroom, apparently my leg was a lot more damaged than Hatsuharu let on but I was doing much better.

After a week more I was finally discharged but would still use crutches until I was fully healed, I was to attend therapy at least twice a week to start getting better at walking. So after a month and three weeks I had finally been released to go home...But, where would home be?

* * *

Haru helped me to a black car and I climbed into the backseat, he followed and a tall man with black hair swept over one emerald eye started the engine. He closed the door behind him and pressed on the gas urging the car forward. He would glance at me from time to time but didn't say anything for awhile. After fifteen minutes into the drive the man spoke.

"Akito, the head of the family has worked out arrangements for you. You will stay at Shigure's for the time being and he expects to see you within two weeks." Hatsuharu noticeably tensed beside me, but he kept quiet. I reached for his hand, and he looked up at me surprised at my actions. A small smile appeared on his face as he turned to look back out the window. His shoulder's relaxed and I couldn't help but smile at this.

* * *

 **Chapter Three: If Home Is Where The Heart Is... (Then My Heart Is Where You Are)**

* * *

The idea of having a home seemed to be a foreign concept to me. When we arrived at this uh..."Shigure's house" I once again bit my lip as I nervously made the trip to the porch.

Hatsuharu assisted me by placing one hand on my waist, and the other held my right hand so I could walk without the crutches.

We stepped inside only to be greeted with a group of familiar yet unfamiliar faces. I later found out their names were Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, Shigure, Momiji, and the driver was Hatori.

Tohru beamed as she cried tears of happiness, Yuki bowed in acknowledgement, Shigure waggled his eyebrows, Momiji bounced on his heels, and Kyo managed a small smile. Their faces fell slightly at the sight of me limping and leaning on Haru for support. Tears threatening to spill over Tohru's cheeks, Yuki lead her out of the room silently. The rest remained but I couldn't help but feel an awful pang of guilt resonating in my chest at their expressions. Even not remembering them, I still couldn't help but feel at fault.

"You should go up and rest, you have to go to the doctor tomorrow." Shigure said with a forced laugh.

"Don't you mean shrink?" Kyo inquired bluntly before Haru turned a sharp gaze towards him as a warning. I simply nodded and reaching the foot of the stairs, I just remembered my dilemma. One, how was I supposed to get up there? Two, where was I to sleep? Three, what was I going to do with my life?

Fortunately Haru stepped in and much to my surprise lifted me up bridal style and carried me up the stairs. I leaned in and held onto his neck, as he readjusted himself. That sense of normalcy and familiarity resurfaced as he held me.

We reached a room at the end of the hallway, (presumably the guest room as it was barren with the exception of a bed and a chair) and he placed me gently on the bed before setting off to retrieve my crutches. I ran my fingers through my precariously long black and red hair deep in thought.

 _Was this okay? Was I taking advantage of these wonderful people by staying here? Would my memory every return?_ With a sigh I dropped my hand on my lap and glanced around the room. It was so lonely, kind of like how I feel now. I feel barren. _Vulnerable. Lost. Deserted. Empty...I_ loathed this feeling and willed it to go away. But it wouldn't. Amidst my thoughts I flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling as dread seeped in. I'm so selfish. I mean Haru probably feels ten times worse- Haru? That...That sounds right to me. I wonder how he'd react if I called him informally.

He chose that exact moment to walk in a close the door shut behind him, he leaned my crutches against the wall nearby. He pulled the chair up to the bed just as he did in the hospital. I could feel his gaze on me as I continued staring upward, not daring to look at him.

"You alright Kotomi?" I covered my eyes frustrated. I wanted him to call me Ko, like he had in the hospital. I wanted, no- craved something normal. I was desperate at this point, I felt so clueless.

"Haru..." I said softly.

Haru's eyes widened and he asked just as quietly, "What did you say?"

I finally mustered the courage up to look at him. "H-Haru." He gasped slightly and I felt a smile tug at my lips.

"That is what I called you...Wasn't it?" For a few moments he just looked at me before he spoke. "Yes. You said you hated formalities."

The smile finally adorned my face as relief settled in. I had remembered something on my own. I sat up and sat back against the wall, I reached for his hand and held it in both of mine. "Haru, could we...? Could we be friends again?"

Pain flitted across his face briefly, I had wondered if I had imagined it before he nodded stiffly. F _riends? I guess thats the most we will be again._ Haru thought bitterly as he forced a slight smile more for my comfort and reassurance than his own.

* * *

The next morning, Haru escorted me to the psychologist's office. I hadn't an idea in the slightest as to why I was even here but it was at Akito's request. I wondered if there was something he wanted me to remember? Nah, I'm reading too much into it. He probably just wants me to get help since he's the head of the family. Its obligatory isn't it?

A/N: Hah! Akito caring? Riiight.

After being called back, the doctor- or the 'shrink' as Kyo so eloquently put it; she directed Haru to wait in the waiting room. Sadness crashed over me once more as he turned on his heel, hands stuffed in his pocket. I followed the lady and she said I could sit on the couch, the chair, whatever felt comfortable. I set my crutches down beside me and plopped down on the couch.

Dr Hakiko clicked her pen and flipped a page up on her clipboard. She pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose and began jotting down information before I had even said anything.

"I've been made aware of your self-induced amnesia as a result of a tragedy. Is this correct?" I bit back a gasp at this statement. Self induced? Who forces themselves to forget? And if I really did have amnesia why would she ask me?

"I will take that as a yes. I also noticed you appear surprise that one can make themselves forget something. Think of it as a defense mechanism. Say someone has been abused, now if they are ridden with guilt, anxiety, or even harsh memories or pain, emotional and physical- wouldn't you force yourself to forget?"

I mulled this over and leaned back. But I wasn't abused?...Right? I suppose losing my parents would be tragic enough for anyone. But I felt even something about what Haru told me felt off. As if it were not the whole story.

"I am going to perform what is called an ink blot test. I will hold up images and you will tell me what you see. Yeah?" I nodded and she smiled.

"Good. Now what is this?" She held up a series of cards and the majority of them looked like nothing but an abstract, random splash of paint. But the last one sent chills up my spine. To me it resembled a sinister face as if that person felt so overcome with hate for me that...

"They would kill me." The therapist quickly recorded this. "Who darling?"

My eyebrows furrowed in exasperation and frustration. "I don't know. I can't remember. Someone..." She looked me over before turning back to her notes.

"I heard you had a boyfriend, I believe the fellow in the waiting room. Could it be him perhaps?" I shook my head without hesitation. Something in me told me that was impossible.

"Hmm, I believe this is enough for today. I would like to see you four to five times a week to find the source of your memory loss. You may go."

* * *

Haru lead into a restraunt so we could grab a bite to eat. But...I just didn't have the stomach for anything right now, I felt sick to my stomach.

We found a booth near the back which was convienent to set my crutches down next to me. After Haru ordered a burger for himself and a soda for me, he cocked his head questioningly at my silence.

"How did things go over...With the, uh-"

"Psychologist, and Haru you can be straightforward with me. Its not like you to be timid." I said this once again without even thinking about what I was saying. It was as if no matter what I was fighting to get my memory back of Haru...Heck thats what I wanted more than anything.

He laughed at this and nodded. "I guess you're right..."

"Hey, can I ask you something?" He quirked an eyebrow but gestured for me to proceed.

"Why is my hair this color? I thought I might have dyed it but it seems natural. My roots are even red and black." He rubbed the back of his neck as if contemplating on whether or not to tell me. He glanced around the practically empty restraunt before leaning in.

"Because you are a Sohma like the rest of us. Not Kotomi Hakashi and...You're the red panda."

* * *

 **Chapter Four: You Used To Be Mine**

What? I didn't understand? How could I be an animal? Before I had time to put more thought into the bewildering statement, my head began pulsating and a white flash overtook my vision. I held my head in my hands, and clawed away desperately trying to thwart the pain from continuing.

Bells jingled as a young girl with hair similar to mine, spun on her heel several times as she held her arms high. The girl looked about as if seeking approval from something, or... _Someone._ And just like that, I was back in reality and facing a bewildered and frightened Haru.

"You alright Kotomi?" I blinked back at him in response before leaning forward to rest my chin on the palm of my hand. I thought silently for a few moments before inquiring of the vision.

"You- you saw that?" He raised an eyebrow before balling up his hamburger wrapper. I nodded and he leaned back in his seat as if debating whether to explain.

"Its probably the New Year's Dance. Every year, all members of the Sohma family are required to attend a banquet on New Year's Eve. And each year there is a dance for the animals. The Red Panda is hardly mentioned in history but you are one of the more...Influential members. The Red Panda is known for being witty and tactful when it comes to the Junishi. That would be dangerous if you or anyone after you could figure out how to break the curse. Then the head of the family would have no authority." I pondered this and the headache from before returned the more I thought about it.

I did not understand why we were cursed, where it came from, or even exactly who Haru was to me. I felt overwhelmed and asked if Haru would take me back to...Shi-Shigure's? Yes. Back to Shigure's house to rest. I would need it.

* * *

The next morning, Shigure dropped the bomb on me that I would be returning to school this morning as I had been cleared to do so. Haru was allowed to assist me as I was still learning to walk. And after school I have my physical therapy and I have to see the Shrink. The name Kyo had given her stuck with me and lightened the burden of the situation.

My saxophone had been dropped off last night, I walked over to the desk it sat on and clicked the clasps on the case. I ran my hand along the smooth edges of the saxophone before lifting it out of its holding place. My heart fluttered and hammered in my chest, feeling the brass under my fingertips. I placed my lips to the mouthpiece and it was like coming home.

Pleasant notes tumbled out, and satisfaction burrowed itself in my gut as I tapped along to the familiar piece. Apparently it was something I played a thousand times for me to remember. For me it was muscle memory. This relaxed me a bit before it was time to prepare for school.

Tohru placed my uniform, freshly ironed on the bed to which I thanked her politely. I got dressed with no issues...Actually, I might have slipped a few times and fell backwards two times. But, who's counting?

Haru hadn't arrived yet so it was Yuki whom helped me down the stairs to the breakfast table. Tohru placed a steaming bowl of rice porridge in front of me. Though I was grateful, I was more thankful I had remembered their names.

After Haru arrived with the curly haired boy, Momiji was it? We headed out to school. I was scared to say the least. The one thought that hadn't occurred to me when I couldn't sleep last night was, how I was to do well when I might not remember my lessons. Sure I had the basics down but, I had no idea what was in store for me.

We all went separate ways to our classrooms. Apparently Hatori had explained the situation to my teacher and she had informed the students. I had been provided with weird looks, murmured comments, and confusion throughout my day.

I survived lunch with the help of the others and was now finishing up my physical therapy.

"Well Kotomi, I am glad to say you most likely won't need crutches within the next two weeks. You should be able to walk but not run yet. Hopefully you will be fully functioning within the next few months." The doctor's words gave me hope but at the same time felt disheartening. Words like 'should,' 'hopefully,' 'most likely.' I know they were supposed to be positive but I can't help but think about the fact there is a chance none of that will happen. And I might never be able to walk.

* * *

This evening after my second therapy session I felt winded. She prodded me only on the guy I felt would kill me, no matter how many times I tried to convince her I didn't know. When I got back home I didn't expect Haru to be waiting on the front porch for me. He couldn't escort me to the session because had detention for "going black on someone." Wouldn't his parents ground him?

"Hey Kotomi. I'm sorry I couldn't take you..." he cast his gaze to his feet and I sat down next to him.

I rested my head on his shoulder, I smiled when his shoulders relaxed. "Its okay Haru."

"How'd it go?" His voice took on a caring tone that involuntarily sent a chill up my spine, and goosebumps rose on my arms in response.

"It was okay, I feel more stressed than relieved afterwards though." He grunted at this and I looked up at him. I just loved to look at him. I'd even be satisfied if that would be all I did for the rest of my days. I still didn't understand why but...His bi colored locks...His light grey eyes. Allowing my eyes to roam over him I noticed he had a slightly muscular build.

I reached for his hand and interwove mine in his own, he sighed fully relaxing. It was odd, Haru relaxed me more than any person could.

"Haru?" He hummed for me to continue.

"Who am I to you? Why do I feel so comfortable being near you?" He peered down at me taken aback by my question. He responded barely above a whisper but I caught it.

"You are the only girl I love."

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Flashbacks & Backstories**

Black Haru had been the cause of an overly destructive...Rampage. Desks and chairs were being hurled left and right. Sounds of Haru's screams of anguish, glass shattering, chairs scraping across the floor, terrified cries of the classmates filled the room. When Haru first felt his black side begin to take over, he did nothing to stop it. What was the point? He already lost Rin, she wanted nothing to do with him. What did he have left?

His vision grew darker until he completely succumbed to his darker, and angrier side. Yuki rushed up with Kyo and Tohru in tow. The rat placed a tentative hand upon Haru's shoulder only to have been flung backwards.

" **Just stay the out of my way! I won't think twice about throwing you next!** " Haru hissed at the now bewildered and slightly annoyed prince of being manhandled.

"What are you doing ya dumb bovine?" Haru's eyes flashed dangerously as the narrowed into slits.

" **Shut up baka neko! You have no right to say anything to me. Hah, acting like the hero to impress Tohru. You're nothin but a phony.** "

"Thats enough." A soft yet commanding voice broke in. He craned his neck to see who the voice belonged to, it was a short girl. She seemed younger than him, her hair was the same color as Rin's only with red ends. The girl approached him, he could smell the apprehension on the girl and yet she still stepped forward.

"Stop fighting." She stated simply, anger boiled inside Haru at the girl's words. As if it were that simple to forget Rin's stinging words. As if he could regain control over the beast raging inside him day in and day out. Now he allowed it out of its cage, he wasn't about to reign it back in.

Haru carelessly rolled his eyes and the girl stared at him for a few moments.

"Whatever your problem is, getting into an altercation won't help you. I hate to burst your bubble but we all deal with problems. Sure I don't know what you could be dealing with but this is no way to cope. Instead of taking it out on others, why don't you fix your problem like the man you think you are. Unless, you really aren't a man." Her eyes landed on his lower region before flitting back up to meet his dead black eyes.

" **Who. Do you think you are?** " Hatsuharu began closing in on her with each step he took. " **You're right! You have no idea whats going on and you have no right to step in. You like getting into other people's business, how about if I break your legs then will you leave me alone? Or...Do I need to try, _other_ methods for you.**" Haru's eyes darted to her lips and back up for the implication of dealing with her one on one.

This resulted in a slap across his face sending a deafening silence throughout the room. "You're disgusting. If you so much as lay a hand on me or anyone else, I'll be sure to deal with you personally." Just for good measure she swept his legs out from beneath him with a kick. The girl stood and dusted herself off, as she was about to leave she looked to him once more.

"Oh and one more thing. If you want to fight me one day, my names Kotomi Sohma. I'm sure you'll know where to look." And she walked off leaving Kyo, Yuki, Tohru and Haru in shock. The anger seeped out of Haru as he was left wondering. Who this unknown Sohma was, and why she stood up to him even though she appeared afraid. His eyes didn't leave the doorway, even though he was now being lectured by Mayuko for destroying her classroom. His thoughts still remained on the mysterious girl. The girl that intimidated him, frustrated him, and turned him on all in the same instance. Who was Kotomi Sohma?

* * *

Around Christmas time the same year, everyone was buzzing with excitement for the upcoming holidays. Everyone but the Sohmas that is, for different reasons. It was the last day before winter break and two months since first seeing Kotomi. Haru sat in class lazily balancing a pencil on his nose as Momiji went on about some stuffed bunny he bought for Tohru's Christmas gift.

Haru had pursued information on Kotomi and it was always the same answers. "There is no record of Kotomi Sohma." "I don't know what you're talking about." But he knew there was something that didn't sit quite right with these responses. The bell rang signaling the beginning of the break. The class wasted no time rushing out whereas Haru took his time. He kicked his books under the desk and shoved his hands into his pockets, trudging out of school. Momiji had noticed Haru was lost in his thoughts more that before and inquired about it only to have Black Haru snap back at him.

That had been the end of the Rabbit's questions not wanting a repeat of his classroom tantrum two months ago. Sensing Haru's mood Momiji darted off to follow behind Tohru, Kyo, and Yuki. Haru simply glared at his feet as he walked ten feet behind them. Not paying attention he bumped into someone and they both fell to the floor in a tangled heap.

Just as he was about to go off he realized it was Kotomi. Finally after two months he was able to see her again. He didn't understand why he was so infatuated with her but she was a mystery to him.

"You could apolo- you. Its the jerk from before." Haru couldn't help but flinch at her statement. She scrambled to her feet and was about to leave when he latched onto her arm.

"Wait- could I talk to you?" She turned to him, her eyes blazing.

"Do I have to knock you off your feet again? Or do I need to kick you in other places." Her eyes gestured to his groin but he only tightened his grip.

"You think I want to talk to you? Argh! I'm just annoyed, for some reason I can't stop thinking about you. I don't l know why I would think about an annoying bimbo like you." Kotomi gaped at him before shoving him into the lockers.

"Then why the heck are you even talking to me, freakin psychopath." Haru's eyes narrowed once more but he couldn't help glancing down at her lips. Her lips were fixed in a pout he found kinda sexy, her beautiful ruby red eyes shone with anger, and her hair fell in gentle waves over her collarbone. Her lips were right there. Without thinking he roughly pressed his lips against hers. She fought him to let her go but he wouldn't budge. Haru flipped her around and she hit the lockers, he kissed her until she finally relaxed. It was short lived when she finally managed to shove him off.

"What was that?" Kotomi screeched, red flooding her cheeks. Haru stood there in a daze. He felt compelled to kiss her again, something about her made him want her. He wanted to be around her as if her presence alone was an antidote for the wounds Rin inflicted.

"I don't know..." Haru stuttered sheepishly before turning on his heel and walking off. Kotomi remained there, puzzled as to why this boy kissed her. A boy who agitated and angered her. And yet, as she traced her finger across her lips in shock...She found herself wishing he hadn't left.

* * *

On Christmas Eve, the Sohmas were at the mall doing last minute Christmas shopping. Kyo was there as Tohru begged him to, Yuki was taking Momiji, Hiro and Kisa. Haru decided to go as he had nothing else better to do. It had been a week since his encounter with Kotomi, she occupied his thoughts day and night much to his despair. Haru had been wandering throughout the mall until he finally looked around to see he had separated from the others.

Normally he would have gotten angry had it not been for Kotomi standing nearby, she was staring dreamily into a display case. Haru couldn't help himself, he stalked over and grabbed her by the arm and pulled her along. She attempted to dig in her heels out of resistance, but Haru persisted. He pulled her off into a stores dressing room before capturing her lips in a needy kiss. Kotomi once again tried to stop him before she reciprocated. Glad to finally notice her relenting he prodded her lips open with his tongue and she allowed him access. She pressed herself against him and he moaned, goosebumps rose upon her skin feeling a sense of freedom she had never experienced.

Reality of the situation hit her like a train and she pulled away. Kotomi pressed her back to the wall as the both panted, recovering from the temporary loss of oxygen.

"Why do we keep doing this? What- What am I? To you?" Kotomi folded her arms across her chest and Haru stepped forward.

"I don't know. I'm confused. The only thing I know is I like kissing you and you-"

"Make you feel better about yourself." Kotomi supplied bitterly.

"-Intrigue me. You interest and confuse me." He gripped his locks in frustration and her arms dropped to her sides. Sympathy crashed over her like a wave. She had felt that way since their first meeting. It only grew worse after their kiss a week before.

Kotomi gently extended her arms offering a hug. He quirked a brow curiously before welcoming the embrace.

"Do...Do you have plans for tonight?" Kotomi smiled a responded with a slight shake of the head.

"Do you want to spend time with me?"

* * *

 **Chapter Six: And So It Begins**

Later into Christmas Eve evening, Haru followed Kotomi home. She lead him to her room and shut the door behind them. Reaching behind her desk, the saxophone case lied there. Placing it on the bed, Kotomi clicked the latches and turned to Haru.

"I...Can I, play you something? I know I'm weird- er, it's weird." Haru held up a hand to stop her rambling and gestured for her to play.

With a nervous laugh, Kotomi lifted the Sax out of its case. Placing the mouthpiece to her lips, her eyes slid shut, and the apprehension slipped away. She focused solely on playing her beloved instrument. Fittingly, she chose to play Frank Sinatra's _"Stranger's In The Night"_

After having finished, Haru clapped shocked to say the least, "Wow Kotomi, I've never been serenaded before." She rolled her eyes in response before placing it back in its case. She felt sullen shortly from parting with it, but it quickly faded when seeing Haru's expression. His eyes held mirth, having hardly shown emotion, a grin seemed to be permanently etched into his face.

"You're really good. How long have you been playing?" Kotomi sheepishly stared down at her feet. "Since I was seven," came the muttered reply. Haru nodded approvingly before closing the distance between the two of them.

"Care to tell me about this mysterious Sohma? Uh, I think her name is Kotomi Sohma?"

Kotomi snorted, "Clever. Um, Akito probably erased record of me. He kinda hates me."

"Doesn't he hate everyone?" Haru's eyes darkened noticeably, but he still tried to keep his temper under control.

"Yeah but...He's had it out for me, for as long as I can remember. I'm the only chance he has of breaking the curse apparently. Whatevs, s'not like I care." This picqued Haru's interest and he grabbed ahold of Kotomi's shoulders.

"What do you mean by that?" Kotomi took in his nearly crazed expression, and backed away slightly.

"I dunno. Apparently it has something to do with my Zodiac. Do you think Akito would tell anyone?" Haru sighed and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah... He doesn''t deserve to control us the way he does."

"True. He's a real _dick_ - _tator_." Hardy har har. Haru chuckled slightly before his eyes landed on her saxophone once more.

"Can you play me something else?"

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Irreplaceable Heat**

After Haru finished, he looked down and our eyes locked. I had been hanging on to his every word. Each word held the meaning - meaning I've been striving for. It was an indescribable and impenetrable heat and chemistry between us. It was like a gravitational pull to him. In the murky depths of his eyes - it revealed all the emotions he hadn't shown otherwise. Wordless and yet so many words passed between us in that single instance.

He cupped my cheek. With an intent look in his eyes - he practically dared to me to look away. To break the contact. I couldn't. He was closing the distance between us. A hand placed on my hip, and the other tilted my chin up. Our lips met in that moment. Our lips moved together in this unstoppable harmony. It was as if no time passed between us, as if I hadn't forgotten our relationship.

Heat rushed to my cheeks, my stomach burned deeply, and twisted in knots. His tongue mingled with my own and he pulled me closer to him. It felt as if we were connected somehow, as if pressing our chests closely to each other made us closer than before. Somehow I felt incredibly comfortable with him.

We broke apart for air. But he still held me close. His forehead was pressed cooly against my own. I hesitantly looked into those grey eyes of his. They revealed him to me. He was naked and vulnerable before me. His eyes held depths of emotion. Care, comfort, and this deep love I could practically feel.

Our moment was interrupted by Shigure.

"Kotomi- Oh! My, my Haru. You dog, you." Haru's eyes slid shut in annoyance.

"What do you want sensei?" Shigure's face fell and he regained his original serious demeanor.

"Akito wishes to see Kotomi tonight. Apparently he doesn't want to wait any longer for her visit." Panic danced in his eyes. Rage written over his intense expression, his clenched fists, the feel of him trembling beside me.

"I'm coming with her. I won't leave her to be alone with him." Shigure sighed and whipped out his paper fan, and fanned himself dramatically.

"I'm afraid that alone time with her is precisely what Akito wants. Hatori is on his way to- oh, there he is now." The headlights glared into our eyes, and the engine of his car rumbled lowly. The man from before stepped out - a noticeably grim look on his face - and stood before the porch.

"I am to escort you to The Main Estates. Do you have everything you need?" I realized he was referring to the crutches seated beside me. I nodded and he aided me to my feet. I tucked the crutches beneath my arm and hobbled to the worse for wear car the doctor always seemed to drive. The car had become something different to me though.

It represented impending doom. An unavoidable appointment. It was a nightmare to see his car rolling up. It meant something terrible would happen.

As we drove away, I hadn't missed Haru's face. He looked lost and helpless. He looked worried. Worried...for me.


	8. Deadly Touch

**Something for you all until what I'm working on can get posted! This one is...okay, I guess. As for the one coming after this one, well...**

 **Sorry~**

 **Mwahahaha**

* * *

 **Deadly Touch**

 **Chapter One: Buried Alive**

Do you know what its like? To never hold someone's hand. To never be held until the looming darkness over you fades. To not kiss or make love to your significant other… I can't. I can never be close to anyone. I've always dreamt that one day my curse would be lifted and that I'd be set free. That one day my parents would be able to touch me without crying out in pain. That someday I wouldn't have to feel what they do… I wonder what that is like.

 **Narrator POV**

Sinking. Sinking deeper into the ground…She grasped her throat as the piles and piles of dirt continued to be shoveled on her. Her vision blurred by tears, as she tried to reclaim oxygen that was no longer within her reach. The one burying her, she never saw his face. The brown substance was slowly devouring her as she sank deeper and deeper into the ground. Gradually suffocating.

Yumi woke up in a cold sweat. Her chest moving up and down, heavily panting.

Grumbling under her breath the girl rushes to change into the school uniform. She checked herself over and noticed she had forgotten the gloves. She can't forget those. They are too important. Running into the kitchen she grabbed an apple and sprinted to the school in order to make it on time. Fortunately she got in just before the first bell rang.

Making her way to her seat she collapsed at her desk. It had already been a heck of a morning. She hoped the rest of the day didn't go this way.

That girl is Yumi Sohma of course. Yumi is only fourteen and a first year at Kaibara Highschool. She lives with both parents and a little sister, Yoko. They all had black hair but Yumi's was long and had beautiful dark purple hues. Possessing eyes the color of an Amethyst gem, a deep rich purple much like Yuki's. She wasn't part of the zodiac, not that it mattered seeing how she couldn't touch people anyway. The other Sohmas were in the dark about her, they had no idea she even existed. Well, everyone except for Akito.

Every few seconds she couldn't help but glance at the clock, wondering when the class would be over. Yumi thought of ditching today but she just finished serving her detention sentence from the last time she skipped.

After what seemed like ages the bell finally chimed and she ran out of the classroom. Not looking where she was going Yumi nearly collided with a boy with black and white hair. She managed to hold her gloved hands out and stop it at the last second.

"Excuse me." And with that Yumi left and decided to forget it never happened. Another close call. She almost touched a girl last week and now this guy too. Her parents have tried to convince her to be homeschooled but she begged them to attend regular school. To be normal for once, or to at least pretend for a little while.

By the time lunch rolled around Yumi watched as the Sohmas and Tohru Honda ate lunch together in the classroom. She sat in a desk farthest away from everyone eating her lunch in silence.

"Hey." Looking up she saw it was the boy from earlier.

"If you are looking for an apology about earlier-"

"No its not that. Its just…I wanted to know if you were okay." His eyes glinted with what she saw as pity.

"I am fine it wasn't like I got hurt."

"I mean you look lonely by yourself." He explained just before Momiji bounded over.

"Haru who's she? You're so pretty. Are you the new girl?"

"Uh…Yeah. I'm Yumi." She replied sheepishly and Momiji beamed.

"That's so exciting! You should come sit with us." Momiji nudged him and Haru nodded in agreement. Without hesitation she said, "I don't think that's such a good idea… I'm feeling a little sick I think I'm going to the nurse." And before they could offer to escort her, Yumi was already gone.

She escaped to the girl's restroom and locked the stall behind herself.

She can't get close to them. She can't have friends. She has to be alone.

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Ruthless Ox**

Yumi stayed in the bathroom the duration of the day, only escaping to her locker when the bell rang.

Fumbling with the lock she missed the combo a second time and frustrated, she banged on it until it opened.

She slammed her locker shut and came face to face with Haru.

"I don't mean to be rude but, what do you want with me?" Yumi turned to head home and he jogged up beside her falling in step with Yumi.

"I wanted to know if you were doing better. You said you were sick, and you never returned. We have the same classes." The ox held up his schedule and explained the teacher called attendance.

"Yeah well, I was more sick than I thought. Look it was nice and all talking to you but I must go now." She realized he was still following and she tried to contain her anger.

"What?" Yumi gritted out and Haru smiled.

"Would you like to come with me, I'm going to a cousin's house after school?"

"So you nearly run someone over, stalk them more than once I might add, and then invite them over for tea?!"

Haru just grunted as if to say 'of course.'

Yumi rolled her eyes and said, "Fine."

The Ox beamed and dragged her (Thankfully Yumi was still wearing gloves so there was no skin to skin contact) along with him towards what he thought was Shigure's house. Thankfully Yumi was still wearing gloves so there was no skin to skin contact.

 _An hour later..._

"How the hell did you manage to get us lost?!" Yumi yelled angrily and Haru faced her just as pissed off.

"Hmm gee I don't know. Maybe because I'm not as perfect as you. Why didn't you ask a person for fucking directions?"

"Because I thought you knew where you were going!" She had forgotten the stories about his sense of directions. He didn't have any, his bipolarity slipped her mind too.

Haru gripped his hair. This girl was driving him insane.

 **Haru POV**

 **What the fuck is this girl's problem?** Black Haru hissed.

Well we did bring her out here. White Haru argued.

 **Didn't mean she had to, its her own damn fault**.

We should have known that we would get lost.

Haru just wished that both voices would shut up, he didn't need more than one person yelling at him at a time.

 **Narrator POV**

The two trudged through the woods in search of a path at least to civilization.

"My parents are going to give me hell for being out this late, without telling them." Yumi mumbled and Haru glanced down at her cocking his head curiously.

She definitely wasn't like the Sohmas.

Most of them never had to worry about such a thing. Like in Haru's case, his parents were never around. Or in Momiji's, his Mother decided the lesser of two evils would be to forget her son rather than live with the fact she "gave birth to a monster." Or Kyo, who's mother killed herself allegedly because of him. Rin...Who's parents built an appearance like they loved her, and when it came crashing down they showed their true colors.

Did Yumi not know how fortunate she was to have someone who cared that much about her? To notice her absence, to hug her, to _love_ her?

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Stupid Cow**

Haru and Yumi were both stranded in the forest. Yumi had fallen asleep long before he did, Haru draped his white coat across her shoulders. Sitting on his haunches he watched the girl's sleeping form. He blankly glanced up and realized the sun was rising and light stretched above them. From the looks of things they would be here awhile, neither of them knew where to go.

Grunting he patted the dirt next to her and turned trying to get into a comfortable position. His expression softened as he realized how peaceful the girl looked now. The sun seemed to give her a soft glow and it made her appear almost angelic. Smirking he mused over what she would say if she knew what he was thinking.' Probably kill me.' Haru snorted to himself.

Flipping over on his stomach he closed his eyes hoping to fall asleep if he lied still long enough. He wondered what Yumi was like...He didn't know why he felt drawn to her, and felt a need to become friends. But he sensed that she was alone from the first day he met her. There was something about her that made it worthwhile to figure her out.

He was greatful both sides were silent for once. After awhile as the birds above began chirping at the sun rise, Haru finally dozed off.

* * *

Shigure set the phone down rubbing his ear as Yuki stepped out into the hallway.

"Hatori yelled at me." The dog whimpered and the rat shook his head in disgust.

"He probably doesn't want to deal with your perverted ourbursts. I don't blame him." Yuki walked away and tears streamed down the novelist's face.

"Yuki that hurt. 'Tori explained that Haru never returned last night...How are you so different from Aya? Your words are like daggers to my heart, daggers Aya would never wield if it meant wounding me. I should call for him! It has been awhile since we were together last!" Before he could even take another step two fists slammed into his head.

"If you do I will find the nearest lake and drown you both." Yuki and Kyo stood above the cowering mutt.

* * *

Eventually around noon Haru and Yumi both awakened and made their way through the forest. After an hour long silent trek they were greeted by the sound of honking horns, cursing from those stuck in a traffic jam, and the nauseating smell of bratwurst drifting over. Why were they selling that crap anyway? It was almost as bad as leeks.

Clamping a hand over his mouth and nose, Haru made futile attempts to block out the smell of beef coming from a nearby All you can eat buffet. What kind of sick bastard cooks a cow anyway? Would they like it, if it were them instead?

"Do you know where to go or do we need to find someone for directions?" Yumi asked blankly. Haru inwardly winced. She did nothing to discourage the fact he lacked intelligence. Dammit, it was always the stupid Ox.

"He always manages to lose himself."

"The old story proves to be true huh? "

"Foolish enough to let the rat ride on his back all the way to the banquet."

Haru held his head in his hands angrily before storming away. Not caring if Yumi found her way back. She acted like she knew everything she could figure it out herself.

A puzzled Yumi was left behind as the peculiar boy left.

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Lonely Existence**

Haru crashed through the crowds of people carelessly blinded with rage. Finally distancing himself as far as he could he was in solitude.

That is until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Whirling around, his eyes flashing angrily, teeth bared, his face contorted with fury at the dumbass that decided it would be a good idea to bother him.

It was Yumi. His eyes narrowed into slits at the girl that stood before him.

Haru's eyes traveled down her arm to where gloves sat on her hands.

" **Why the fuck do you wear gloves? You a germaphobe or something? Too girly to get your hands dirty. Hah. Pathetic.** " Before Haru could leave she slammed her head on the back of his neck.

"First of all that is none of your damn business! Second don't you have anything else better to do than bother me?!"

He stomped back over in disbelief.

"Yet you're the one that followed me." Yumi glared at him as her eyes stung. Why did she feel tears threatening to spill over? No she wouldn't allow it. Yumi ran off in the direction of her home, as the cow and she went their separate ways once again.

Damn you...Why did you have to bring up the gloves?

 _"Tag you're it!" The girl cheered as she bolted across the school yard. Yumi wasn't too far behind, after all she was the fastest runner in her class._

 _Catching up, Yumi latched onto her best friend's arm._

 _"Gotcha!" She cheered triumphantly._

 _"No fair-" Suddenly the girl began to tremble, gasping for air she collapsed to her knees._

 _"Sunny!" Yumi unknowingly pulled the girl closer to her. This is what her mom would do when she didn't feel better so it had to work, right?_

 _Wrong. The girl clawed at her throat, eyes widening as she felt life pour out of her._

 _A few moments later, Sunny slumped forward and fell limp in Yumi's arms._

 _"I...Killed-" Yumi gasped unable to finish, choking on her own sobs. She killed her best friend._

 _Memories swirled around her head. They were not her own, but Sunny's._

 _She saw everything through her eyes...Yumi shut her eyes tight as the hissing in her ears grew louder. Voices swarming her from the memories._

 _"Shut...Shut up!" Yumi screamed until she sucombed to darkness._

Before Yumi could make it halfway home, she dropped to the ground. Clenching the grass in her hands.

She would always be this way...Alone, but left with memories of those she could not touch.

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Its All Your Fault**

As soon as Yumi arrived home she expected to be bombarded with questions left and right. Much to her confusion she was greeted with silence.

"Helloooo." Her voice echoed off the walls of the seemingly empty house. She slowly crept up the stairs, the steps creaking whenever she moved. A chill shot up her spine and a draft coming in from an open window nipped at her skin causing goosebumps to appear. Curiously she investigated the open window and trailed her finger along the window sill, she bit back a gasp when the wet substance came in contact with her gloved finger.

She turned her hand over and upon inspection she realized it was blood. She stumbled backwards and lost her footing, smacking the back of her head on the table sitting precariously in the hallway, it was flipped over. A tell tale sign of a struggle that came about. Finally she rose to her feet and continued down the hallway that seemed to grow more eerie the farther she walked.

Yumi stopped right in front of her sister's door. She turned the knob and drew in a breath at the horrendous sight. The room had been ransacked and reeked of the blood that splattered the furniture. The bodies of her parents and sister all lied on the floor, lifeless. She glanced over at the wall and saw written in blood, whose she did not know. It read, "Its all your fault Yumi!" She collapsed to the floor unable to say a thing. She stopped breathing for a few moments and time seemed to still. But the clock from the bedroom chimed. With every chime, it wordlessly stated the new hour of dread she suffered through.

She did not move. Not when the doorbell rang, not even when she heard footsteps rapidly padding up the stairs. The last thing she saw was Hatori, Shigure, and Ayame standing above her. Hatori gripped her shoulders trying to encourage her to stay with them, to remain conscious until they could get her to a hospital. But it was too tempting. She allowed the darkness to pull her under.

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Capere Occasionem**

She shot up once again in a cold sweat, but rather than waking up from a nightmare it had only just begun.

Her eyes darted around the room in a panic, it was an unfamiliar room. It was decorated with cold colors and dark shades, the only light in the room came from the light flowing in from the hallway through the cracked door.

Yumi tried to get up but found herself strapped to the bed, she was hyperventilating now wondering what the hell was going on. The memories of seeing her family lying on the floor in the house began to fill her mind. The door creaked open and she began thrashing in the bed attempting to break free.

Hatori crossed over and held her wrists down to the bed waiting for the girl to calm down, tears trickling down her face.

"Now that you've calmed down...Slightly, I need to inform you of things...Miss Yumi Sohma." Her eyes widened, Hatori knew who she was? But Akito told her none of the Sohma knew she existed.

"I see you were not made aware of my knowledge of your existence." He stated as he pushed down on the needle and filled it up with the vial. "Akito gave me specific instructions on what to tell you. You will be kept in a house within the estate, your family is terminated so you no longer have them to be concernced about..."He paused seeing Yumi's face contort with guilt, remorse, and anguish.

"...You will resume your studies at Kaibara high school, do not tell anyone of what has happened to you no matter what it is. Nod if you understand." Yumi narrowed her eyes dangerously before complying.

"Very good." Hatori dipped a cotton ball into alcohol and rubbed her arm with said cotton ball before giving her the injection. Before he had time to react Yumi slammed her head into his face causing him to fall back, knocking the tray table to the floor. Yumi ripped the rope she was bound with, with her teeth and managed to run down the hall before a man with long black hair, and a scar over his eye captured her.

She struggled in his grasp but he wouldn't budge, she bit down on his hand enough to break skin and draw blood. "You fucking bitch!" He growled but still didn't let her go, he dragged her down the hall and threw her into a nearby door sealing it shut with a loud bang.

Yumi crawled into a corner and pulled her knees to her chest, shivering as a draft filled the room. Yes her nightmare had only just begun.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Guardian**

A loud thud reverberated throughout the room as Yumi continously rammed the door with her shoulder. She cried out in pain everytime she felt the impact, her muscles were screaming at her in protest but she kept trying. And to no avail, it would not budge.

Giving up she slid down to the dirty floor of the dank room. Every now and then she heard subtle squeaks of rats crawling around in the pitch black place.

She had to keep her cool, somehow they just seemed to know of her fear of confined spaces. It was quite small, about four inches all around and it felt to be closing in on her the longer she stayed there. Gradually losing her grip on sanity she shut her eyes, not that she would know the difference in a dark room.

Memories flooded her subconscious of the man that put her in here. She searched them for answers until she saw one of him talking to Akito about her. Apparently she was his special project.

 _"This girl is to be kept here with me. She has an ability that could prove useful with time. In a way she has the same as the Dragon's but she has no control over it." Akito smirked and the man scratched his head._

 _"Eh what do you want me to do with her boss?"_

 _"Leave her be, you need to check up each one of the Sohmas and Tohru Honda and ensure they have never heard of the girl." He snarled and the muscled man nodded before setting off to complete his task._

Special project? What did he mean by that?

Yumi perked her ears up to the sound of talking outside the door.

"...I think Tori' likes Sensei Mayu!" A cheerful voice sang. She recognized it as Momiji.

"How do you know this?" The flat statement came from Haru.

She banged on the door as hard as she could praying it wasn't a soundproof room. "Help me! Please!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. She was greeted with dead silence other than the sound of retreating footsteps.

She slumped to the floor, dread seeping in until she heard the creek of the door as someone wrenched it open. She came face to face with her savior, Haru.

Yumi had never been so happy to see that blank face in her life.

Relieved laughter burbled in her throat and without thinking she hugged him. They stood like this for a few moments before reality set in. He was still alive. He wasn't hurt or anything.

She stepped away and stared at her bare hands in awe. This had never happened before.

"Why are you even here in the first place?" Haru deadpanned before she nearly knocked the wind out of him hugging him and the two fell to the floor in a heap.

"Thank you..." Haru blinked confused as to why the girl that seemed impossible to get along with, was hugging him.

She pulled him to his feet and he dusted himself off. Yumi ducked down to avoid anyone seeing her leave the estate. He copied her movements curiously.

"Why are we sneaking around?"

"Shh." They continued until they were free and made a break for it. After ten minutes of running they found themselves at a lake and collapsed panting.

Once they calmed down he peered over at her curiously and she looked back. "Do you want to tell me now?"

She explained everything she found out and reluctantly told him of her curse.

"I don't know all of it. I'm still piecing it together myself. I don't know what Akito is using me for..." They were now sitting upright watching the sunset reflected over the water.

"...And I know that you are the Ox of the Zodiac." He snorted not even bothering to be surprised after everything she told him today.

He sighed before glancing back at Yumi. "I will stay out here with you as long as you need...I want to try being your friend." Yumi cocked her head inaudibly determining if he was being serious. She smiled softly before responding, "I'd like that."

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: A Beautiful Omen**

The soft hoo of an owl echoed off the trees that surrounded them.

Yumi and Haru were both lying down on the soft grass by the lake staring at the night sky, decorated with glittering stars.

"See that...Thats the Ursa Major. This is my favorite constellation." Haru glanced over to see her gleaming and practically bursting with excitement. He had honestly never seen her so happy...He had never taken interest in this kind of thing before, but he could listen to her talk about it for hours.

"...Sorry...I'm an astronomy geek I guess. I just love how stars all play such a role in one big picture...Its beautiful to me. It probably bores you huh?"

Haru shook his head and smiled slightly, "Nah...Whats that one called?"

Yumi's face broke out into a smile, "That one is in my favorite. Its also apart of the Big Dipper, the Mizar..."

Thats how they spent the next two hours, Yumi teaching Haru about the stars and the stories behind them. The moon illuminated the otherwise star-filled sky. The two were both wide awake, not wanting to go to sleep anytime soon for different reasons. Yumi was afraid of all the nightmares that might invade her subconscious and she was afraid of Akito coming after her. Haru wanted to remain on the lookout feeling the need to protect the two of them.

"Yumi...The reason you didn't like me was because you couldn't touch me?"

He took note of the way her eyebrows furrowed at the question. She covered her face with her hands and let out a long overdue sigh.

"I'm sorry about the way I acted...I told you about my curse but I never told you about...Who I've hurt because of it...I killed my best friend. She didn't deserve it. I wish it would have been me. No one would have to suffer."

Haru grabbed her by the shoulders to face him, "I can't begin to understand what its like to go through what you have...But don't even think you don't deserve to be alive...What happened to her happened for a reason whatever the hell it is." She she searched his grey eyes to see if he was being honest with her. She sighed and closed her eyes, a tears spilling over her cheeks. Haru glanced down realizing he was still had a hold on her shoulders so he released her, and lied back down.

"Have I told you of my two sides? How I have two personalities?" Yumi shook her head and turned to him expectantly.

"I have two personalities. My white side is basically the calm part of me, what is called the black side is the angry part...Its difficult for me to control myself when I'm black and I usually don't remember anything that happened while I was in that state. It feels like I'm unconscious during that time. I've hurt a lot of people when I am like that..." Yumi pulled her knees to her chest, and rested her cheek on them. Listening to Haru tell her about this...She had no idea what he had been struggling with.

He had more than one curse to haunt him day in and day out. She grabbed his hand in one of hers and gave it a light squeeze.

"We should go to sleep, ne? We need to figure out where we'll have to go tomorrow...Goodnight Haru." She lied down beside him and closed her eyes, not letting his hand go. He twisted himself so that he was lying on his side and facing Yumi.

"Goodnight...Yumi."

* * *

By the time they had woken up it was well past ten in the morning. At some point during the night, Yumi found herself in Haru's arms. She had glanced up at him to see if he had been alert but she had found him to still be asleep. So she allowed him to hold her, and had found herself drifting off to sleep quicker than she had since she was a young child.

Haru was the first to wake up and he felt a warm, oddly comfortable weight on his chest. He looked down only to realize he was embracing Yumi. Panic danced across his eyes wondering if she felt him or not.

He had no idea why he was hard in the first place. He had to wake her up before she noticed.

"Yumi." Haru's voice betrayed what would usually be an emotionless tone, it was replaced with husky whisper.

The girl only shifted in his arms and pressed their bodies closer together nuzzling his neck.

He hadn't realized Yumi was practically straddling him. He had to do the next best thing. He grabbed her arms from around his neck and flung her off of him. He cringed at the sound of her hitting the ground.

"Ow! What the hell Haru?!" Yumi snarled and Haru simply shrugged before removing his shirt and diving into the lake.

Yumi quirked a brow wondering what he was doing but rolled her eyes and decided to search for a stick she could use. After a few moments she found one she was satisfied with and tore of a strip of material from her shirt. She wrapped it around the stick, removed one of her earrings and stuck it into the material at the end of what she had fashioned into a fishing rod.

Haru stepped out of the lake and wrung his clothes out, peering curiously at Yumi approaching where he had been with some odd device.

"What are you doing?"

"Whats it look like? I'm going fishing." Came the sarcastic reply. Haru watched as she felt something tug the stick and she tried lifting up the seemingly heavy 'fishing rod.' He shrugged and latched onto her elbows helping her life a rainbow trout out of the water. She didn't have bait before but she did now, she also couldn't exactly reel it in so it would require a lot more strength to pull the fish out of the water so she was thankful for the Ox's help although she would never admit it.

She told Haru to fish and she would find wood for a fire so she could cook it. Fortunately she had a pocket knife on her so she could make food properly.

By noon they had eaten and had plenty left over. They were both lazily watching the sun glistening on the water when Yumi had an epiphany.

"Why don't we go for a swim?" Haru opened his mouth to protest before he was cut off by the look she had been giving him. It was truly a force to be reckoned with.

"Please." Yumi pleaded giving him the look that always got her what she wanted. Her lip jutted out, hands clasped to her heart, eyes rivaling those of a puppy's. He sighed before relenting to which she smiled slyly.

 _He never stood a chance._

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: On The Lam**

Haru and I broke out into an all out splash brawl, water was flying left and right, our laughter mingling as the afternoon edged in. I hadn't had such fun in quite some time, it was a change of pace to be able to actually act like a normal teenager for once.

Our time came to an abrupt end when a man not far off caught my eye. It was one of the men from the main estate. I nudged Haru, "We. Need to go...Now!" He looked at me like I was crazy before following my gaze.

Haru grabbed onto the back of my shirt and tossed me over his back, then Haru swam to shore as quickly as humanly possible. The man was gaining on us, and we knew it. He was about to pull us out of the water, but Haru was much faster.

He took off with me piggyback riding, all the way into the deeper parts of town. Water dripped along the sidewalks, and we both looked like a hot mess, but without much time to fix it we both escaped.

We arrived at a lodge and checked into a room with two single beds. Haru unloaded me onto the one by the closet, and he flopped onto his own in exhaustion.

"Haru. I think I know who they are now." He turned on his side, and faced me with a curious expression.

"...I think those people knew my Mom. She was part of this gang with Kyoko Honda, and some others. They've been hunting her down forever. I don't know what they want with me though."

Haru's eyes roamed over me silently before rolling back over onto his back.

"Hmm. So, what are we gonna do?"

I sat cross-legged on the bed, my chin resting on my palm. "We can't keep running. We will have to be careful but we need to go back to school. We can't keep this up. Haru, I'm truly sorry for dragging you into this. I'll face it myself."

"No." I cupped my ear as if to hear better.

"No Yumi. I told you I'll help you, regardless of what that entails. I got your back, I hate school anyways. Its boring as crap. Look, tomorrow morning we'll go to another town far from here and stay there until the problem is resolved somehow. Deal?"

"...Deal."


	9. The Mind Is A Beautiful Thing

**Note to all of you...**

 **Always research anything you write about that you don't _know_ about.**

 **Take this, for instance.**

 **I had no clue what narcissistic disorder was at the time. _Always_ fact check and tread carefully if you haven't lived out the story you're telling.**

 ** _Oh boy..._**

* * *

 **The Mind is a Beautiful Thing**

 **Chapter One: Have a strong mind and a soft Heart**

 **Haruka POV**

Haruka meaning distance, Suzuki meaning bell tree. Haruka Suzuki thats the name I was given. Great right? No. When I was 12 years of age I was diagnosed with a disorder known as Narcissistic personality disorder. What that basically means is that become easily hurt, I become jealous easily, and I lack empathy with others. Thats what my doctor tells me and thats not even the full list of "symptoms". I am now a first year in Kaibara Highschool after I just passed my entrance exam a few weeks back. My parents...I don't have any, they died in a car accident a few months after I was born so I live with my sofubo (Grandparents). How do I look? I have "Interesting" colored hair. The top half is red and the rest orange. My hair is halfway down my back almost to my waist, I'm 5 "2" and have red colored eyes. Oh and one more thing, I transform into the phoenix whenever I'm hugged by the opposite sex or under stress. And having the disorder I have I have to put up with a lot of that.

I ran downstairs to grab my lunch off the counter that my Parents prepared. I call them that because they basically are. I dashed off into the direction of the school. It was my first day of highschool (A/N Hatsuharu and Momiji are first years at the same time period as Haruka). When I got to the shoe locker and changed my shoes I reached into my bag to look at myself. Not a strand of hair out of place. Wait! I blew a strand of hair that fell into my eyes and double-checked my appearance once again. Perfect. I shoved the mirror back into a front pocket so I could access it easily. Then as I was on my way to my locker I launched into another one of my fantasies.

 _Its me running across the field to a man with Black and white hair. We're running to eachother grinning like idiots and before we come in contact I snap out of my dream and back into reality as I hear a boy's voice._

"Hey. Hey Miss!" The blonde boy with amber colored eyes tugged on my skirt.

"Um..Y-Yes?"

"Are you new here? You look very pretty? Why is your hair those cool colors? Haru come look! My name is Momiji by the way.." the little boy is too loud this early in the morning. The boy he called Haru walked up to him staring at me. Thats the boy from my fantasies! I smiled up at him hoping that I didn't look as horrible as I know I usually looked.

"Ohayo Haru-Kun," his eyes reflected brief puzzlement probably wondering how I knew his name before they cleared and he had a blank emotionless expression on his face.

"Yo," he stuffed his hands in his pockets and continued to stare at me. Oh gosh! I must look unpresentable. I unzipped my bag and checked my face, my teeth, and my hair. No...Then why is he staring at me? He is so cute and he's making me nervous.

"So are you a first year," Momiji asked breaking me out of my thoughts. I just nodded and Haru intensified his gaze. I was about to run off when he said,

"Your hair looks-" I braced myself expecting critisicm on it which I don't handle too well. "Pretty." I glanced back up without even realizing I had been staring at the ground before.

"Thanks?" I didn't mean for it to come out as a question but it just did. The bell rang signaling the start of class. I glanced down at my schedule and walked to my classroom.

A/N: As you may noticed she's obsessed with her looks. EXTREMELY self-concisious and this is part of her disorder. The reason I think is because she is afraid of being critisized about her appearance.

I found an empty desk and plopped down. During the whole lesson I was staring at the window caught in another one of my daydreams.

 _I was in an auditorium and walking across the stage with a cap and gown on. I had a diploma clutched in my hand as I switched my tassel over to the opposite side._

When the bell rang I was brought back to reality and when I was heading out the door I had noticed that Haru and Momiji were both in my class. Huh. I didn't even know they were my age.

When I got outside and was searching for a spot when I found one by an oak tree and was thankful for the shade. As soon as I settled down to eat Haru, Momiji, a girl with blonde hair, a boy with orange and the other one with purple hair, a girl with raven colored hair and the other brunette. They walked over to where I was sitting and I immediatley tensed. Its weird being around so many people.

"Hey can we join you," Momiji squealed. I nodded and they all settled down around me. I fought the urge to pull out my mirror and apply more makeup to my face.

"Hello Miss- I'm sorry but I don't believe I caught your name," the purple hair boy smiled at me.

"Haruka Suzuki..." I murmed but they apparently hear me.

"I'm Yuki Sohma, this is my cousin Kyo, my friends and other cousins Tohru Honda, Hatsuharu Sohma, Momiji Sohma, Uotoni Arisa, and Saki Hanajima," he introduced everyone.

I nodded and began to eat silently.

"So where are you from?" The blonde know I know is Arisa asked.

"Um..I'm from around here..This is my first year," I subconsciously smoothed my hair back.

"Are you a Sohma?" Tohru asked. What a stupid girl. Obviously not since I didn't know Yuki, Haru, Kyo, or Momiji before today. Plus that isn't my last name.

"No," I said trying to contain my anger.

"Your waves are similar to those of the Sohmas," Hanajima spoke up.

"Huh?"

"Why is your hair that color anyways" Kyo growled. I take it he's a very agressive, angry, soul. The weird thing is that I'm very perceptive when it comes to reading people. Although I don't like what people have to say about me I still can read them like an open book.

"B-Because...I. It runs in the family?" I didn't want to make it sound obvious I was lying and failed miserably.

"Would you like to join us after school?" Tohru asked grinning widely.

"I don't know..." This could help me achieve my goal of breaking the curse that causes me to transform. I really could care less that I have to take advantage of people to get what I want. People take me for granted so who cares?

"Sure," I smiled sweetly.

When we got to Shigure's house- whoever that is- we all settled down up in Tohru's room (The Sohmas, Tohru, and I).

"Did you know that I can draw really well? I also write a lot of poetry," here we go again. I unintentionally went into another one of my rambles.

"No," Kyo cut me off staring at me angrily. "Seeing how we've known you less than a day," this caused Yuki to smack him on the head.

"Don't be rude to Miss Suzuki Baka Neko!"

"You want to start something ya damn rat?" Kyo stood up with his fists clenched.

"Fine," they both went into the living room and I assumed they were fighting by all the crashing around and Shigure saying, "Don't break my house!"

"You write poetry?" Haru asked still with that same blank expression. But I know on the inside he's depressed and trying not to look it. I wonder what happened to him.

"Yes," I twirled my hair on my index finger.

"Could I read some?"

I reached into my back and handed him my journal after I flipped to a page with the title "Reflection of the girl I used to be."

 _This is a reflection of a girl I used to be. Loved, Lost, and Yet still so happy._

 _I smile as much as I can so no one can see my pain._

 _I'm walking outside without looking up when it starts to rain._

 _Down the rain pours cleansing my soul. All of my anger and regret, all the sorrow and heartbreak are washed away._

 _A rainbow appears as I see for the first time that I am understood._

 _What could I have done? What did I do to deserve so much good._

 _All my life I've been thrown under the bus. Waiting for the time I could get off._

 _Time is slowly ticking and fading away as I stay here on this deserted lonely island._

 _This is a reflection of a girl I used to be. Loved, Lost, and Yet still so happy._

Hatsuharu POV

I looked up at Haruka with wonder. This girl. This beautiful, shy, seemingly happy young woman is so tormented. This made me want to embrace her and to stop all the tears that could come and to erase all the ones that had already fallen. I knew I couldn't or I would transform. I don't want her memory to be erased. I would like to get to know her better. She seems very mysterious. Finally I spoke,

"This Poem is...Genuine and honest. I liked it."

She smiled brightly which made her look even more beautiful than before. Although I could tell in her eyes that she looked like she hadn't recieved such a compliment before so I had to say something to comfort her.

"Really?" Her smile grew wider.

"Yeah...Maybe I could see one of your drawings sometime." Her smile quickly faded and she scowled and stared down at her hands. Tohru rushed out of the room to attempt to break up Yuki and Kyo's fight.

"I..Don't draw very often anymore. I don't keep- I don't have any of my drawings," she looked on the verge of tears which she quickly blinked away. "Why did I bring that up? I'm so stupid sometimes! No wonder no one wants me," she gripped the hem of her skirt and tried to fight off more tears. I instictivley caressed her face. Maybe because I didn't want her to cry. Maybe because I wanted to see how she would react. Maybe it was because she reminded me so much of Rin. Rin had just broken up with me days before.

"I'm tired of you Haru. I don't need you anymore." Her words still stung and most of the time at the worse moments that would hit me like a ton of bricks.

I looked deeply into Haruka's eyes. "Don't say that. You do have people that want you. That care about you. We care about you."

She shook her head, "You don't even know me." How wrong she was. I did know her. Or someone like her.

"I want you to be happy. I do know that," I smiled.

Haruka POV

Why was he being so kind to me? I didn't understand. He grew even more attractive to me. I liked his edgy/punk/gothic style he displayed. Several earrings decorated his ears, he was dressed in the school's uniform but he was wearing homemade necklaces and bracelets, silver rings on his fingers, and black boots. I also thought his black and white hair looked beautiful.

"Your..Hair looks, nice..I like it," I squeezed my eyes shut expecting him to yell at me for giving him such a compliment. I should have given him one more suitable but he smiled at me once again, "Thank you. You're hair looks pretty," of course I blushed at his comment.

It does? I have never been told that before.

"Thank you," he pulled his hand away and just gazed at me while Momijii glanced back and forth between us.

"You two are in love aren't you," he stuck a lollipop in his mouth.

"What?!" We exclaimed at once.

* * *

 **Chapter Two: A mind is a terrible thing to waste**

 **Haruka POV**

My face flushed for the second time that day and Momiji beamed.

"Y' know you two like each other,"

"Stop saying such uncecessary things," Haru groaned holding his head as he was feeling headache coming on.

 **Narrator POV**

Haruka burst into tears causing Momiji to stare at her and Haru to let go of his head and looked at her concerned.

"Sorry Haruka I didn't mean that I don't like you.."

Haruka ran out of the house and off to her parents house. She felt pathetic that she cried like that which made her feel even more ashamed of herself.

 **Haruka POV**

I can't believe I cried in front of him! I know he probably didn't mean it that way either. Now. As soon as I got home obaa-chan asked me how was school but I just went directly to my room without saying a word hoping she didn't see my swollen red eyes and the tears still streaming down my face.

When I got to my room I flopped down on my bed and tried to suffocate myself with my pillow. I dropped it by my side and let out a shaky sigh. I wasn't always this way. Easily upset like this. I became this way...

Flashback

 _There once was a Phoenix that was part of the zodiac. Yes there was a 14th junishi. She was god's messenger bird. Each night her wings would blaze with fire and leave a message for everyone. It was the night before the banquet and she had left a message for everyone but neglected to let the cat know even though she knew the rat wouldn't out of his hatred for him. So when everyone else but the cat arrived the god was furious._

 _"Why is the cat not here?" "Where is he?"_

 _The phoenix was rejected because she failed to complete her task. Even so the phoenix lived on to have many mental and physcological disorders due to being abandoned and rejected._

End of Flashback

And that left Haruka. She was technically a Sohma but Akito had her go by the last name Suzuki before she was even born. She used to have a boyfriend. Once. His name was Makoto. And true to his name he was very sincere and very honest and truthful about everything. He was 15 while Haruka only 13 at the time. He knew about her mental disorder and the fact she was the phoenix. He knew everything there was to know about her and loved her deeply.

"I love you. I really do. Have I told you I love you?" he kissed her neck and she giggled.

"Yes Makoto," Haruka was happy that someone had finally accepted her even with all the flaws. She wrote most of her poetry about their relationship.

The beginning of their relationship

 _Awaken_

 _I've opened my eyes for the first time_

 _I have seen all the color, all the beauty around me that world has kept hidden from me._

 _Now that it is all clear to me I feel that the light has been restored and the city was no longer within the shroud of darkness._

 _I look out my window and see a man before me. Makoto is music to my ears._

 _The name makes my heart skip a beat._

 _Everytime I hear the scuffle of his feet across the floor._

 _When he beckons I answer. I go to him._

 _He is my life, my world, my everything._

What had happened to Makoto. Akito found about their relationship and killed him. Haruka shut everyone out and told herself to never be involved with someone again. It would be for the best to keep them safe.

A/N: Sound familiar kinda like oh I don't know...Rin?

 **Haruka POV**

Makoto...I'm sorry but I think I may love someone else. I think you would approve of him. He's been kind to me so far I just don't think he could be in a relationship with me since he appears so depressed. I wish you were here to hold me like you used to. To see all the drawings I've sketched of you old and new. Feeling exhausted I changed out of my school uniform, got dressed in my pajamas, and climbed into bed without dinner or saying goodnight to my parents.

 **The Next Day**

 **Narrator POV**

When Haruka arrived at school a group of brunettes approached her.

"What do you think you're doing hanging around the Prince?" one of them asked.

"I don't know who you're talking about," there was a collective gasp as Haruka said this.

"Don't play dumb so you can get sympathy from Prince Yuki Sister!"

Haruka ran around them to her locker. When she got there Haru was leaning against it. She stared at him trying to will him to move but he didn't budge he just stared back.

"You're blocking my locker..."

"Are you okay," he interrupted his eyes filled with concern.

Haruka nodded and tried to get to her locker but he grabbed onto her shoulder. She tried to pry his fingers off her to no avail. His eyes became deep black pools that she was afraid to get lost in. He smirked.

"Sexy why don't you come to my place after school? I think we could have some fun," he gazed deeply into her eyes his breath warm on her face. Hmm it seems like he is a completley different person.

"Um..N-no thanks," Haruka stuttered.

"I don't believe it was a question. It was more like an order," she gripped her shoulder tighter and suddenly he got whacked on the head by a bag with two dictionaries inside.

He let go and rubbed his head, "I feel tired,"

"You feel tired?" Kyo and Yuki asked annoyed that Black Haru made an appearance.

Naomi just stood there confused of what just happened still trying to process it. Naomi pulled out her mirror and checked her reflection. Suprisingly she looked fine after what just happened. Although she was enjoying the attention from the two Sohma boys.

"I apologize Miss Suzuki, whenever Haru is like this we call him "Black Haru..." Yuki launched into the explanation and she just nodded.

"Sorry Haruka," she just stared at him intently for a few moments before she responded, "Its um...Okay?" she was unsure if this was an acceptable apology or not but she had too little energy to care that much. For one thing it was early in the morning the other being that it was raining outside. Rain/Water and a Phoenix not a very good mix.

The bell rang and I trudged off to class. By the time it was lunch time it was pouring outside. Just as I was about to sit down on my seat Momiji grabbed my arm.

"Haruka! Do you want to eat lunch with us?"

"Um..Sure, ok" I followed him to a 2nd year class where Haru, Yuki, Kyo, Arisa, Hanajima, and Tohru were already sitting. Momiji sat next to Tohru so the only desk left was the one next to Haru.

"Hello Miss Suzuki," Yuki smiled beginning to eat his homemade bento.

"Hi," I squeaked.

"Are you hungry? You can have my food if you want?" Haru asked.

"No thats okay I'm not in the mood today..." Today is also the day Makoto died two years ago. I made the mistake of letting a tear drop onto the desk.

Narrator POV

"Haruka chan are you okay?" Tohru asked rushing off to get a box of tissues.

"..." Naomi couldn't manage to speak she just brushed the tears away.

"It appears that her electric waves are wavering a bit. She seems depressed about something," Hanajima observed.

Everyone stared at Haruka which caused her to freak out a little and she glanced down at her mirror and saw that her makeup was smudged so she rushed off to the bathroom to fix it. She couldn't let anyone see what she was hiding under the cakes and layers of makeup. She had a tattoo on her cheek of the phoenix which any Sohma would recognize if they saw it. She quickly powdered her face with foundation and finally covered it up completely and she walked back into the classroom trying to act as nothing just happened. But when she got back she noticed Haru wasn't there. When they finished eating their lunch they walked out into the hallway and were informed by a 1st year that Haru had trashed a classroom. When they got there Haru looked up at them.

"He has become very violent," Momiji explained.

"What are you doing Haru?" Yuki let out an exasperated sigh.

"I'm just acting violently can't you see? If you want to stop me you better make sure you're ready?" Haru challenged.

"Hatsuharu san..."Tohru's asked hesitantly.

"Its been a while since he last turned black," Yuki stated.

"Stop messing around Haru. You're a nuissance to us when you become violent," Kyo growled.

 **"Shut up Baka Neko! You're very presence is a nuissance to me, Baka Neko."** Haru countered.

"Aah Kora brat, you wanna say that one more time?" Kyo threatened.

"Haru I don't know your reasons but..you shouldn't act so violently in school," Yuki instructed.

"Are you worried Princess Yuki? You don't want me to be violent because I may change and you'd get in trouble too?" Haru held his head in his hands.

"No I'm not saying that. Its more like..."

 **"Its too stupid!"** Haru interrupted. **"Stupid! Too Stupid! Why don't you pull yourselves together! You're fearful that our secret will come out but its better if our secrets are exposed!** "

"Hatsu-" Tohru pleaded and Haru grabbed her arm.

"You think so too right?!" Kyo punched Haru in the face causing him to release her arm.

Haruka remained silent studying how different he was.

"I don't know what your problem is but... **Don't involve Tohru in them...** "

"Don't act just for apperances Baka Neko," Haru looked away touching his bruise.

"Not acting Tako."

"It is so. I know you want to make yourself look better in front of this woman. What now will you break my neck next?" Haru hissed.

"Alright you damn brat! You bastard **I'll break all your bones for ya!** " Kyo yelled.

"Kyo-Kun Hatsuharu-San," the teacher poured a bucket of freezing cold water on them. "Thats far enough you morons. So have you two cooled down?"

"Aah that was refreshing," Haru turned back to white Haru as he was drenched in water.

"Oh yeah? Well then come to the staff room," the sensei ordered.

When Haru left Momiji asked if he was in trouble.

"Hmm. My parents have been called. I have to wait for them to come. I'm sorry Honda-San for acting violently towards you. And Kyo, nice fight," Haru turned to face him.

"Aren't you going to apologize to me?" Kyo asked.

"My mother will take more than an hour to put her makeup on before she comes...Until then I'll kill time elsewhere."

Just then the bell rang meaning that school was over so everyone filed out except Haru who Yuki stopped in the hallway to discuss something with him. Naomi hid behind a bank of lockers to listen (A/N: No regard for other people's privacy...)

"Yuki...You should call her Tohru," Haru began.

"You're wrong! You shouldn't be thinking of me right now I don't matter right now. Right now you should concentrate on yourself Haru!"

"..."

"..."

"...Haru you're always like that. You're always worried about others. Haru's always thinking about others even if he doesn't have the strength left to think about himself. I- I can only think about myself. I put a lid on my feelings, I don't want to realize them. Its not good."

"Huh, you say you can only think of yourself...? Such a person wouldn't have worried about me and come after me...Thank you." Haru smiled.

"I've been dumped," Haru looked down his bangs casting a shadow across his face. "I...When I was rejected I didn't feel anything. But as the days went by I became irritated. I was very irritated today as well. Then I couldn't control myself..."

"So Akito..." Yuki trailed off.

"...Our dating was a secret between the two of us. Although Sensei may have known. That was the first I had ever talked about it. Because we're both Juunishi..." Haru sat down against the wall. "...Ever since she got hurt she's changed. When I'd go to visit her in the hospital she wouldn't be in her room. I didn't know what she was thinking about then..." _"I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you."_ "Why? Why...But even so..I still want to see her. I really can't give up easily on her. I feel I really need her," Haru looked down his eyes filled with pain.

"...What are you going to do?" Yuki asked.

"I'm going to be scolded for making a mess in the classroom."

"Thats not what I meant," Yuki sweatdropped.

"...Yeah, what should I do?"

Haruka rushed out of the building after she heard that. Thats why Haru was so depressed lately. With that she ran off into the direction of the cemetary to pay a visit to her former boyfriend.

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Out of Sight, Out of Mind**

 **Haruka POV**

When I arrived at the graveyard I found my way to Makoto's grave. It was already cleaned up most likely by his parents or his sister. His tombstone read...

 _To the greatest son there ever was, like the wind constantly changing, and the sun constantly shining_

1995-2010

The more I stared at his tombstone the more memories flooded my mind.

We were in the kitchen baking a cake and when I was mixing the strawberry shortcake batter (his favorite) some splattered on his cheek. I remember he smiled at me deviously and splashed some flour at me and it became a big food fight and it ended in laughter, kisses, and smiles.

I wrote a poem about that day too.

 _Recipe of the Heart_

 _Everyone needs a certain amount of love, loss, despair, and care._

 _1 Cup of Romance, a splash of desire, and more and more things we throw into the mix._

 _Trying to find our way to our significant other, constantly searching until our journey is over._

 _When you find that someone you have their back. You take care of one another._

 _This is him my sweet secret, whispering back and forth expressing our love._

 _This is him, I am me, one without the other is an incomplete recipe._

I wrote almost all of my poems about him because he truly was my everything. I loved our long talks, long walks to the park or along the beach at night, sitting on the top of his roof gazing at the stars. He called me his star and he even named one after me. Everytime we would go star gazing he would point to the sky and say, _"Thats you. There is my Haruka, my star!"_ Everytime I think about these moments between us my heart aches and I'm filled with a longing. A longing I wouldn't have if it weren't for Akito.

Because all the stress there was red smoke and I was transformed into a phoenix. I had an orange beak with red and orange wings that I ignited with fire as it was beginning to grow dark. I felt free flying in the sky. I loved to transform and show of my wings radiating with white heat and leaving a trail in my wake. I flew all the way home and by the time I arrived at my house I transformed so I opened the latch that lead to my secret passageway and brings me to my room.

I felt exhilarated after my flight. I threw on my pajamas and went downstairs to eat the dinner my grandparents had prepared. What I hadn't been expecting was to see a man that seemed familiar that she couldn't quite place, standing in the living room and my grandparents sitting at the counter.

"Excuse me Miss Haruka but I'm here to escort you to the Main House. Akito wishes to see you," I gulped. What he really means is that Akito told me he wants me to come. It was an order, not an option. I ran upstairs and changed into a red dress with a sweetheart top, my black leather jacket and some red heels. I have a very interesting fashion palette. I wear heels all the time and I also wear dresses or skirts as well.

I followed him through the forest and I was planning to go the whole way in silence when he spoke, "I'm Kureno Sohma by the way..."

I just nodded and we continued the rest of the walk without speaking a word to the other. When we got inside a man with jet black hair, bangs that completely covered his left eye, and a doctor's coat escorted me to Akito's room. I knelt down in front of Akito who wasn't facing me yet. He turned around and looked at me.

"Oh my messenger bird how have you been? I love my beautiful Phoenix. I know that you love me especially with that jerk Makoto out of the way," he reached out and caressed my face. I didn't pull away because the Phoenix is still bonded to the god. When I didn't answer he pulled me forward and demanded I respond and I greeted him softly. He let go and continued to look me up and down.

 **A/N: Akito is male in this fanfic too...**

There was also a part of me that loved Akito aside from my Zodiac form. Maybe because I feel accepted now after the Phoenix had been and its good to know someone cares about me after all I've been through.

"I've been informed you've met the rest of the Sohmas. Do they know that you're a Sohma?" Akito interrupted a daydream I was having that the Phoenix would be able to join the god once again. Wait...I'm a Sohma? So my grandparents were telling the truth.

"No Akito-sama."

"Good. Keep it that way or I will be sure to erase Tohru Honda's memory of all of the Sohmas including you. Remember if I find out you're in a relationship I will dispose of them understood?"

"Yes Akito-Sama," I responded in my normal unemotional way.

He reached out and caressed my face once again saying, "I love you my beautiful bird..."

 **Saturday**

I was invited to join the Sohmas at Shigure's house with Hatsuharu, Momiji, Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo. When I got there lets just say things got...interesting.

"Hello Haruka," Shigure greeted smiling that perverted smile of his. He's got a lot of problems...

"Hello Sensei- I mean Shigure," I bowed politely and followed suit as he lead me to the living room where everyone was. Almost everyone. Tohru was in the kitchen cooking, Momiji was helping her, Yuki was sitting in the corner of the room reading a book, Kyo was flipping through channels, and Haru was staring at the tv bored. But when I entered Haru glanced up and nodded to say hi. He patted a spot next to him and I joined him. I had brought my journal with me in case I had any inspiration for a new poem. When Kyo left to the kitchen I heard Momiji cry out, "Wahh Kyo hit me!" And Kyo growling, "I swear everytime you open your mouth it pisses me off!"

That left Haru and I since Shigure was in his office and Yuki left to talk a walk and get away from all the noise.

 **Narrator POV**

"Um..Hatsuharu Kun..." Haruka began timidly.

"Haru."

"Huh?"

"Call me Haru," he smiled and she nodded.

"Haru...Remember the other day when you asked to see my drawings. I'm sorry for crying like thats its just that those drawings bring up memories that is hard for me to think about."

Haruka stared down at her hands that she placed on her lap and Haru reached over and grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up. I know what you mean," he smiled and she even managed to give a small one. There was a knock on the door and since everyone was busy Haruka offered to get it and without looking she bumped into the man that delivered a package and with a poof of smoke she flew out the door up to the roof before anyone got that chance to see her. When she saw he was gone she waited on the roof without knowing this is where Kyo went.

Kyo climbed the ladder to find the bird perched where he usually sat.

"What the hell?"

Haruka tried her best to keep quiet so they wouldn't know she was a zodiac. Everyone rushed out of the house to see what was causing the commotion and their eyes widened.

"Kyo what are you doing to that bird? And what species of the bird is that?" Shigure asked gazing at the bird taking in its beauty. She knew she had to get back soon or she would eventually transform back and become naked. She sighed and decide to ask, "Um..Do you have any spare clothes or can you bring me mine?" They all gasped and Tohru ran inside to retrieve her clothes.

"Haruka?!"

She nodded but her eyes were fixated on Haru to see his reaction he was...Was he beaming? Why?

Tohru climbed the ladder and handed her the clothes. When she changed back she changed into her clothes with practiced ease. When they were all back inside Yuki had returned from his walk.

"Care to explain why you transform into a bird?" Shigure asked politely.

"Yeah what the hell is up with that?!" Kyo exclaimed and Yuki punched him for being rude towards Haruka.

 **Haruka POV**

"Its a long story... But I transform into the Phoenix when I am hugged by the opposite sex or under stress. The end."

"The Phoenix...Isn't the phoenix removed from the Zodiac like the cat?" Tohru asked innocently.

I just nodded hoping they wouldn't connect the dots that I was a Sohma.

"Cool," Haru nodded approvingly which made me smile for some reason.

When it was time to go Haru invited me back to his house back at the Sohma Estate. I walked by and thankfully Akito didn't spot me. When we got inside Haru's mom brought tea and like he said she was wearing cakes of makeup.

"There you go. Such a pretty girl. I'm glad to see you've gotten over-"

"Mom stop. Don't bring that up," he looked down his bangs covering his eyes and his mom left.

"Sorry about that Haruka," he looked up at me emotionless this time.

"Aah its okay." I pulled out my sketchbook that I had also carried with me, "Do you mind if I sketch you? Its my first time drawing since...something."

He nodded and striked a provacative pose that made me giggle. I haven't laughed since Makoto. I forgot what it felt like. I began to draw the outline of his head. I drew out everything to the last and tiniest detail that you would miss if you weren't observant enough. I showed him the finish product and he smiled.

"This is really good! Where'd you learn to draw?"

"My Ojiichan taught me and I've been drawing since I was five," I smiled once again which made his grin grow even wider and his stare intensified.

 **Narrator POV**

"Do you like me?" His question caught Haruka off guard and she dropped all her drawing materials to the floor and he helped her gather them all up and she put them away in her pocket.

"Y-Yes," Haruka thought he meant as a friend.

"No I mean do you like me?" he asked his eyes filled with longing just as much as Haruka's were.

"I can't," she shook her head and scooped up her sketchbook preparing to leave but he stopped her.

"I can tell you like me...Why won't you admit it? Are you seeing someone else?" This brought on fresh tears and she turned her head away from him but he grabbed her chin so she had to face him.

"Please?"

"I think you're just delirious because you lost your oh so precious girlfriend," Haruka seethed and Haru thought he was going to become Black Haru but oddly enough he remained White Haru. That won't last much longer though.

"Yesterday I went to go see her again. I can tell in her eyes that she doesn't want me anymore. I've moved on because I'm tired of going through rejection over and over. How did you even know about her anyway?"

"Thats not important! Whats important is that I'm not going out with you," she was on the verge of crying again when Haru reached out and pulled her into a kiss. She first tried to break away but after a few more tries she finally relaxed and kissed him back.

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder**

Haruka finally manged to pull away and they both gasped trying to catch their breath.

"What? What did you do that for?" Haruka panted.

"Because I like you. What is so wrong with that?" Haru asked looking into her eyes.

"I'm gonna leave now," and before he could stop her she grabbed her things and took off. When she got back to her house she collapsed on the couch. Her grandparents were staying over at a friend's house for three days and they had told her to have Shigure, Ayame, or Hatori watch Haruka. Shedecided against it and let out a sight. But apparently her grandparents know her well, too well because they already made arrangements for Shigure to bring her to his house for the next few days till they got back.

 **Haruka POV**

When I arrived I was lead up to Tohru's room and after she helped me settle in she made sure I had been fed and as soon as her head hit her pillow she was out like a light. I on the other lit a candle I had brought with me and pulled out my journal to begin venting. I always vent through poetry or through a song.

Gray Eyes

 _Those Gray eyes never fail to hypnotize me_

 _I'm captured and bound to you by your love I feel no gravity._

 _Black and white hair is what I love about you._

 _You're different, kind, and smart too._

 _I know this sounds lame but this is what you do, you sweep me off my feet and make me fall for you._

 _I know that I'm stupid, I can never compare_

 _Even though that may be the case I'm still walking on air._

 _I know this is crazy, I know what he will do._

 _But this just doesn't seem to stop me from pursuing you. He can kill, rape, lie, and steal._

 _Who cares what he thinks? I love you more than I can say. I have never felt more in love, more alive, more real..._

I decided to blow out the candle and shut my journal. I tried to sleep but Haru was on my mind all night. All that had caused was for me to think about him even more and fantasize about him. Part of my condition is to imagine unrealistic things but I can't help but wonder if one day Akito will allow me to marry Hatsuharu Sohma. Relenting I gave up on sleep and walked downstairs and made tea. I checked the clock on the wall to see it was 2am. I moved the tea off the eye and turned the burner off. As I poured my tea a voice broke the silence, "Can I have a cup?"

Scaring me half to death I jumped but somehow managed to balance the tea cup in my hand before it hit the floor.

"Haru?! How did you get in here?"

"I'm staying here for the night. Yuki found me wandering around the woods and invited me in to stay for the night. Better question is why you're here. Not that I don't like it," he smirked.

You mean you got lost. I snorted at the thought.

"I have to stay here until my grandparents get back." I glanced over at the couch and saw a bed set up. Well a blanket and to pillows where Haru was now in a sitting position on. He patted the spot next to him and I reluctantly joined him. I moved the blanket and he swept it across my legs making sure it covered both of us. I was mentally thanking Haru for the blanket. Nice and cozy and warm. He rested his head on his hand and gazed at me.

"Will you tell me why you deny your love for me?"

"You're never going to let it go are you?" I asked sighing rubbing my temples. He shook his head and I began to explain everything from Makoto to now leaving out the part I was a Sohma of course. After I finished he reached for my hand and smiled up at me.

"I'd die any day for you Haruka. And don't worry about Akito he wouldn't dare touch me, after all I'm one of his treasured Junnishi," Haru smiled moving a strand of hair out of her eyes with the other hand. I thought about his for a few moments and leaned in Haru happily complied and we kissed. This being the beginning, the opening ceremony, the start of our relationship. They spent the rest of the time talking until the sun began to rise. Haruka allowed herself to be selfish for once and begin a new relationship. A fresh new start.

OOO

Rin collapsed against a wall breathing heavily. She stumbled across the forest and broke down crying. While Tohru was hanging up laundry she glanced over and saw a black horse laying down sprawled out on the grass. The horse glared at Tohru angrily.

"Rin!" Yuki called. They knelt down in front of the horse. "Rin is Sohma Isuzu, you can see that she is the horse. But what are you doing here Rin?"

"Are you sick again? Should we call Hatori-San?" Yuki asked and Rin's eyes flashed as she swung her leg aiming to kick Tohru when Yuki moved it away at the last split second, "Rin, don't try and kick someone while you're in your horse form."

"Don't...Tell anyone," Rin transformed and she was naked.

" **I'm sorry! Hurry and put this over yourself!** " Tohru yelled getting frantic.

"Don't strain yourself. You're sick again aren't you?" Yuki asked as Rin struggled to stand. "Did you come here to meet someone?" Rin grabbed him by the shirtfront.

"Shut up! What I do and where I go is none of your business. Do you understand? If you tell anyone about meeting me here...If you do..I'll kill you!" She threatened her eyes filled with agony, regret, and anger.

"Kill me? You know that you could never kill me."

"You act like you can do whatever you want because you're Akito's little boy toy. Don't you dare tell anybody!" Rin turned and ran off.

She found herself standing on the beach staring angrily out eyes cast on the water. "Wait! That means..Damn it! Damn fucking troublesome bitch!" She drove her foot into the sand pissed off at Tohru and herself.

OOO

Just as the sun was beginning to rise, Haruka still captured in Haru's embrace her back to him, his arms wrapped around her, his chin resting on her head. She decided to ask still wondering if she was caught in another one of her fantasies. "Haru...Do you really love me? You're over...her?"

He pondered for a few moments before mustering enough strength to speak, "I love you...more than anyone without hesitation, you're the one I care for the most. I will continue to cherish you even if you push me away," he kissed her forehead and fell asleep holding Haruka and even though she didn't say this out loud she wondered if she would suffer the same fate as Rin or Makoto. This is different. Akito almost killed Rin last time because she loved Haru. What would happen to the Phoenix. The Outsider. The Mental Patient?

* * *

 **Chapter Five: The Darkest Hour is Just Before The Dawn**

Oh Yeah and it will switch back and forth between Narrator POV and Haruka POV without me having to type that...You'll know.

After about an hour she decided to get up and take a shower. She stepped in the shower adjusting the temperature until scalding hot water began to pour out of the shower head. She didn't know why she was so attracted to heat. Maybe because it was the Phoenix inside of her. At any rate she still didn't know. When she got out she draped her body with the towel and secured it, then she wrapped a towel loosely around her hair but not loose enough to fall off and walked into her bedroom unsuspecting. She was about to remove the towel when a voice froze her in place, "Don't take the towel off in front of me. I don't want my eyes to burn from seeing a disgusting creature!" It was someone I think looks familiar but at the same time not really.

"What are you doing in my room?" Haruka shrieked and he covered her mouth with his hand and brought her down to sit on her lap.

"Listen bitch if you scream your punishment will be an awful lot more worse than it is now," he growled. He took a knife out of his pocket and traced her neck with it not making the incision teasing her. He then made the first cut at her forehead dragging the knife down across her face. Blood began to flow and he just laughed. He then got out a rope and tied her down to the posts on her headboard and taped her mouth shut. He then fished out rubbing alcohol and waved it in front of her face. He ripped the tape off her mouth and just before she could scream, he shoved the bottle in her mouth and titled her head back causing her to guzzle it down unwillingly. After he saw her unconcsious he untied her and jumped out the window. She will never forget this...he chuckled to himself as he rushed off to Akito's house.

I don't really remember what happened after I got out of the shower after the tape had been removed from my mouth. I need to _see_ what is going on and to find out if Haru is alright. But my eyes wouldn't open, they wouldn't! Damn it! Did he blind me too. I reached for my face trying to see if I had a blindfold on. There wasn't. I heard a voice.

"Haruka," it was Hatori

"Hatori? Why can't I see you," first there was silence than she began to hear a sob coming from what she thought was the left side of the room. "Y-You're blind," her older sister cried out. What was her older sister doing there? Wasn't she away at University? She felt someone hug her, then she felt nothing at all. She felt the world slipping away as the morphin began to pull her back down under and into her drugged wonderland. A place where she could feel no pain.

When she was awake she sighed hating not being able to tell the difference. Now not only was she suffering from a Mental Disorder, she now had to put up with being blind. How was she to draw if she could not see? How was she to write if she could not feel? She lost so much in one day... Then she thought for a moment. Maybe she still could see those things. She called out, "Haru!" she heard footsteps and a door open.

"Haruka! Are you alright," she heard panting. Her other senses were now heightened after losing one of them.

"Yeah..Ayane this is going to sound like a weird question but just for a little while will you mind being my eyes for me? I mean to describe to me what things look like..."

She heard silence and then she found herself being embraced and leaned into it. "Sure nee-chan," she laughed amusingly and I smiled imagining that she was as well. I pulled away and moved my hands up and found I was touching his chin, I moved my hand trying to get another picture in my head of his facial features. (Fantasy) Once I got a good picture in my hand I asked Ayane for my sketchpad by my nightstand and a pencil. I felt the weight of my sketchpad in my hands and a pencil placed in the other and began to draw the best I could now being visually impaired. When I was done I asked, "How does it look?"

I could feel Haru was smiling and I could hear it in his voice, "You drew me huh?" (Fantasy)

"Oh..You drew Sohma-kun," Ayane cooed (Reality)

She left but promised she'd be back up with my dinner soon. I leaned back against what I guessed was the wall and sighed contently. Then a million questions swirled around in my head all at once. _Who was that guy? What did he want with me? Why did he blind me and nearly kill me? Did Akito send him? How will I attend school now? Do the other Sohma's know of my condition? What did they know about this?_ It scares me to think about how I'm now eternally sentenced to darkness and never being able to see the light again. I decided not to be idle and stood up. I got down until I was in a crawling position and began to try to find my way out of the room. I put my hands out in front of me tracing my hands up and down the walls until I reached up and found the door handle. I opened it slowly and felt I would look foolish crawling on the floor, that and if they don't know about me being blind I'd much rather keep it that way. I had no idea where I was until I heard Tohru's cheerful upbeat voice.

"Ah you woke up from your nap," her voice rang out. I instantly smelled noodles cooking. I heard a sound of wind outside but it was constant. I heard someone breathing hard and figured it must be Kyo fighting outside. Then there was the sound of pages turning, Yuki. I also heard light snoring which was Haru, the sound of scrawling on a paper must be Shigure. Hmm maybe this whole blind thing won't be so bad after all.

I followed the scent and ran my hand across the counter and I stood leaning against it, "Hey Tohru. Do you know what happened to me?"

"ARE YOU SICK?! I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW I GUESS I DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION ENOUGH-" She was going to go on and on so I stopped her. "No Tohru I'm not sick..I was just wondering If I had any cuts or scrapes..

"You don't have any..Why did you fall?"

"Never mind," I slowly walked out of the kitchen. How could she not see the scar on my face that was now throbbing painfully. I followed the sound of Haru's snoring and bent over trying to feel if I was in the right spot. I felt fabric and knew it was the blanket. I moved a few inches to the left until I could hear his snoring clearly and knelt down in what I hoped was in front of him. I extended my hand and tried to feel his face like I had done in my fantasy. I ran my hand across gently taking in every detail so I would keep the picture in my mind for it never fade. When the snoring ceased I froze. I felt something touching my face and figured Haru was caressing my face.

"Hey Haruka enjoying the view," he laughed obviously not knowing about this morning at all. He probably slept through the whole thing. Suddenly his words hit home and I felt my cheeks grow wet and realized I was crying. He instantly stopped laughing and the concern in his face made my heart break to pieces, "Baby whats wrong?" I shook my head and licked my lips tasting the salty tears that fell. "Haruka why won't you look at me? Did i say or do something to upset you?"

"N-No.." I decided to get up and find my way to my room but it may be a dead giveaway that I'm blind so I said, "I'm just really tired so my focus isn't that great..."

"Oh! Well do you want to lay down next to me?" I could hear the love in his voice. He actually did care for me more than I could ever hope for. I tried to be descreet and failed miserably. "You really are tired," I felt myself being lifted and I was on the catch being held by Haru. He stroked my hair and I shut my eyes tight, not that it matters...

When I woke up I decided to write poetry. I was feeling depressed and that always makes me feel better at myself. I explained asked Haru if he could get my journal and pencil for me and when he returned I asked him if he had eaten. Thankfully he said he hadn't and I told him to eat and he happily complied. So sweet. I picked up my pencil and I traced my finger across the spiral until I came across what I think to be the lines and began to write.

 _In the Dark_

 _I'm in the dark about everything_

 _Secrecy, all these whispered stories that I can no longer hear._

 _I don't know if you are there because you haven't told me._

 _All thats left is wasted space and a lost person._

 _I'm using a flashlight with no bulb, on a boat with no sail, in a lake with no water._

 _What is this? Why are these things missing? Why am I missing? Who am I?_

 _So many questions still left unanswered as we all spend eternity trying to find them._

 _In the end we will have just ran circles around the earth to no avail._

 _The colors I will no longer see, the sounds I will no longer hear, the things I won't taste._

 _In the end we have nothing but his grace. His grace is enough to last a lifetime._

 _All I need is love. Because with love you can see, hear, taste, feel, and smell._

 _Without it we're all searching in the dark not knowing where we're going. Never finding our way..._

I felt better writing that although I was blind I could still see it. I leaned back on the sofa and thought for a moment...

Are we all really in the dark and we are just now seeing the light and do we take things for granted? I guess thats so..

* * *

The next day I woke up and wound up in my bed. I decided to search through my dresser drawer feeling around for some sunglasses. Sucessfully finding them I slid them on to hide how cloudy my eyes must have looked. I found Tohru's closet and fashioned an umbrella into a cane and changed into my school uniform. I slung my bag over my left shoulder and headed downstairs counting the steps. When I got downstairs I instantly smelled Tohru's breakfast she was preparing. "Hey Haruka," Haru gave me a peck on the cheek,

"Hi Haru," I smiled and he asked why I was wearing sunglasses. "Because I have bags under my eyes?"

"Hmm." I could tell he was unconvinced but I walked on trying to be descreet about using the umbrella to find my way. "Don't you want breakfast?" Tohru asked. Finally Haruka grew annoyed that she had to depend on other people but she knew she couldn't hide it forever. She removed the sunglasses, swallowed her pride and admitted that she was blind.

"What?" They all chimed in unison.

"I can't see anything," she swallowed the lump that emerged in her throat. Shigure and Hatsuharu decided to escort Haruka to Hatori's and see what was going on. "You say you can't see anything...How many fingers am I holding up?" Hatori asked automatically in doctor mode.

"Uh..Three? No wait! All?" she guessed and Hatori sighed asking again. "No Haruka, how many fingers am I holding up?"

She began to get frustrated but suddenly she saw hatori looking at her and out of the corner of her eye Haru staring too.

"T-Two," I gasped as he nodded. "But I couldn't see before. I don't understand."

"Thats because it was only psychological Haruka. Now according to your medical records you've been diagnosed with Narcisstic Personality Disorder."

Haru's eyes widened, "What does that mean?"

"She will have a tendancy to fantasize of unrealistic goals, obsessing over appearance, doesn't critisicm too well, etc... What my guess is you blinded yourself."

"But I remember a man who worked for Akito come into my room and make me drink rubbing alcohol." That sounded crazy to her too.

"Can you draw him for me?" A/N: Hatori was fully aware of her drawing capabilities. When she finished he nodded knowing his theory was correct. "Do you recognize who you drew?" she shook her head and then he told he to take a good look. She held the pad her hands now shaking, "M-Makoto," she breathed out.

"Your ex-boyfriend right?" Haru asked still confused.

"Yeah..."

"So why did you see him do you think?" Hatori asked gruffly.

"I don't know...I miss him I guess."

"Is it maybe because you moved on and felt that you deserved to die and filled with guilt you subconsciously blinded yourself. Thinking losing your most valuable asset would somehow compensate for Makoto dying for you." Hatori's expression softened , "Did all this also happen because you found someone new? Think about it," Haruka and Haru left the Doctor smiling to himself. If he knew, did Akito? Haruka and Haru decided to skip school and head to Haru's house. They dropped their bags on the living room floor and went into the kitchen. He offered her a drink which she accepted. Haru got out two bottles of Ramune and she poured hers in a cup. When he had his back to her she got out her flax and dumped the alcohol contents into her drink. She took a sip and then guzzled the rest down.

"You're really thirty aren't you?' Haru smiled and Haruka drank directly from the flask this time.

Haruka POV (Drunk)

I drank out of a flask I don't remember having. Hee-hee Haru is changing colors. Why is he tilting?

Narrator POV (1 hour later)

Haru looked over at Haruka who had just passed out. When she finally came to he saw the sobriety reflected in her eyes and she held her head. "My head is pound-" she ran off to the bathroom and threw up. Haru was clueless as to why she got drunk. Then again she had been through hell for the past couple years. Haruka wiped her mouth with back of her hand, gargled with water, and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Hey Haru," she plopped down on the couch pulling her legs up to her small frame resting her head on her knees, her eyes glazed and he sat down pulling her into another world famous warm Haru embrace.

"Are you okay? I feel like thats all I've been asking for the past couple of days," Haru gave a small smile. "I don't know, I guess all this stress," she was still bewildered that she hadn't transformed yet.

"Hey..do you know what happened to my Grandparents because they have been gone for a week..." Haru looked away. "What?" I leaned in to catch what he mumbled, "Dead." I froze. Dead? How could they be dead? How was my sister taking it. As if he read my thoughts he answered, "Your sister is fine now. Are you?"

"Not really.." How did they die? "They were killed in a car accident..."

Haruka got up and walked down the hallway.

"Wait Haruka where are you going?"

"I don't know," and with that she left tears spilling over her cheeks.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: No longer**

Haruka walked through the streets not knowing where she would end up. Eyes blurred with tears and her memory fogged she didn't know where she had been. She sat down in the middle of nowhere and wept. So now she had no more parents, no mare grandparents, she had nobody. She was nobody. She felt as if the weight of the world had been placed atop her shoulders.

Haru found the beautiful- his beautiful Phoenix sitting in a graveyard crying whilst her fiery red hair seemed to be flaming. Then suprising him she had begun to sing the most melancholy of songs. She was like one of those sirens and sailors would be as if under a spell whenever a siren sang. He wanted to get closer to the sound so he walked over subconsciously. She was only vocalizing and yet it was so captivating.

When she stopped he snapped out of his trance and sat down next to her. Looking at the tombstone of Makoto. This is where she ended up huh?

OOO

Rin stumbled around in just a hospital gown and her now unevenly chopped locks that was Akito's doing. She collapsed on the sidewalk out of exhaustion. She was very weak and there was dried blood on her arm where she had yanked the IV out. She looked up to see the Black and White Haired love of hers walk into view without noticing Haruka right beside him.

Haru got down on his knees and placed his hand on Rin's head.

"Haru?"

"Sorry. I failed, I just can't find Haru's happiness." Rin covered her eyes with her hands and Haru finally spoke. "I'm sorry which means Rin's Journey ends here. Then...Welcome back. Since the journey has ended, if you don't return to my side...I will be lonely."

"Then I should be going back to Haru soon. Going back to Haru's side..It'll be good if I can go back. What a good dream," Tears fell down Rin's face as she smiled.

"Anyway this isn't a dream," Haru smiled to himself. "I spent so long looking for you. Everyone is worried about you your body is in such a state. And you can still make your way here. Haru lifted her up and put her over his shoulder. Haruka followed timidly behind them. They went straight to Kazuma's house and by the time Haru placed Rin on the bed she had already dozed off.

Haruka and Haru bowed to Kazuma and they both headed to Shigure's house to stay there until dinner time. Haru still hadn't managed to get Haruka to talk. But he had gotten her to snap out of the daze she was in and to absentmindedly follow her as she was now back in between Reality and a Dream. She had no idea what she was feeling since she had shut out any pain and was left feeling numb.

When they arrived Haruka sat in the room she had been staying and sat against the door. The pain came back all at once and she crumpled to the floor dissolving into tears. She didn't even know Haru was now holding her in his lap and she curled up into a ball. She was so used to his touch she hadn't realized he was there. She hated showing emotion to people and felt strange after being in his arms. Haruka hadn't felt the Phoenix leave its cage within her, no this was an entirely different feeling. An hour before dinner she left for Hatori's.

Haruka knocked on his office door until he told her to come in.

"Hatori," she bravely began. "Am I... Do I have my Narcisstic personality disorder anymore." Hatori looked her over before having her sit up on the doctor's table. He gave her a brief checkup before beginning the diagnostic process and it came back negative.

"But how? There really isn't a cure for it. I don't understand..." Hatori chuckled because he knew how she was cured.

"Because you've finally been accepted. You see people with this disorder may never be cured from it. It most likely has to deal with your abnormal cell structure due to the fact that you're part of the Zodiac."

A/N: Enough Doctor Mumbo Jumbo. Basically in Layman's terms she no longer has the disorder because of acceptance. This is now Phase 2 of the story when she's a normal teenager. Well as normal as you can be since she transforms into the Phoenix.

She hugged Hatori and ran back to Shigure's. Haru slid the door open and was about to leave when Haruka tackled him. He blinked a couple of times still in shcok. Haruka has never been the first to do something like this. Haruka explained to him what Hatori had told her and a smile spread across both of their faces.

 _So that was all it took._

 _To be wanted, to be loved, to be appreciated._

 _Now that being taken for granted is no more I can finally breathe._

 _We dance the eternal dance that symbolizes a new life._

 _No longer will I think twice, no longer will I dwell in the past, no longer will I not love._

 _No one can take this away from me._

 _No longer._

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: New Chances and New Circumstances**

Finally. After such a long wait the chains and bondages were all broken. Cast aside. She didn't have to deal with the disorder she had been diagnosed with any longer.

She finally had the Ox in her life again, she no longer had to worry about people's feelings towards her, and she made more friends than enemies along the way. Yup, life seemed perfect.

Haru decided to visit Rin while Haruka was asleep. Not that it was all that wrong to visit an old friend right? He knocked on the front door of Kazumas and a flustered Rin opened the door. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Hey horsey."

"Hey yourself." Rin stepped aside to allow him in after looking behind him making sure Haruka wasn't there.

"So what are you doing here?"

He shrugged, "I wanted to see if you were doing alright."

"I'm fine." She answered quickly. "Please can we be together Haru. I realize that I may not be able to keep you safe but I want you to take care of me." Rin looked up at him her eyes pleading with tears threatening to spill over.

"I can't." The first tear slid down her cheek and dropped on the wooden floor with a splash. "What do you see in her that you don't in me?" Rin whispered and Hatsuharu pulled her into his arms breathing in her scent that was all hers.

"You're both special in different ways. I've tried countless times to change your mind but I just couldn't. This is the most difficult decision I've ever had to make but I had to let go. You're beautiful, smart, and kind no matter how tough you may act. I hope you find someone worthy of your time. It's not because of your inability to protect me but more so my failure to protect you." Haru kissed the top of her head before he left leaving a crying horse behind the closed door.

Once Haru got home he walked upstairs and found Haruka to still be asleep. He picked up one of her shirts of the floor and found her journal of poems underneath. In a way he felt intrusive but at the same time as if it was meant for him. He sat in front of the bed the Phoenix laid upon and flipped open her journal.

 _Standby_

 _Constantly stopping._  
 _Not letting a word get in will you ever give me a chance to make my own decisions. Here I am making the same mistakes repeating the same failures. When will I ever learn. The older I get the worse I become. Can I really stand to do this anymore?_

 _J'adore_  
 _A kiss. A beating heart. A love._  
 _All these things are taken for granted. Treated as if everyone can easily receive these. Not all of us are perfect or deserving. A kiss is more than pressing lips together. It is joining souls and trying to find a way to continue, to go on but really we already know. Love is what combines both the kiss and the beating heart. Love feels like your hanging onto a cliff and could fall into the depths of the abyss at any waking moment. An adrenaline jump starter that can make your heart beat faster than ever before._

Haru continued reading all her poems. Some about Makoto, her parents, zodiac travesties, her disorder, and the last couple pages all about him. He closed the journal with a sigh and glanced up at the beautiful girl snoring softly. Haru kissed her cheek and continued to watch her until his own sleep claimed him along with her.


	10. Dirty Little Secrets Always Come Out

**I had to restrain myself from re-writing this. It would defeat the purpose if I did away with the cliches and the tropes. So...voila!**

* * *

 **"You guys are gonna think I'm crazy but this idea just came to me. Tohru is always depicted as the sweet, innocent, kind character she is in the original story. But I thought to myself what if she had a dark dirty secret. So here goes nothing. Let me know if it sucks or if I should continue. ^.^"**

 **-TohruKyoYuki**

 **Dirty Little Secrets Always Come Out**

"Uhh." Tohru groaned splashing cold water on her sleepy eyes. Thank goodness it was Summertime that meant a break from school and nearly getting mauled by Yuki's fangirls. That was not the only reason she looked forward to summer though. She looked forward to seeing him. Being with him. Breathing in the masculine scent that was all his own. A time they could sneak away without arousing suspicions. Her favorite time of year.

Tohru continued to go through the motions of getting ready for work when something caught her eye. Slowly walking over she picked up the photo strip from her chest of drawers. There they were. Smiling, making silly faces, kissing. That time in the photobooth where they let loose and were able to enjoy themselves without anyone else seeing. With a sad smile she placed it back down and finished changing.

Was what they were doing right? I mean he did get her into trouble on several occasions, sometimes he was quite forceful with her but other times very sweet. She wondered if she deserved this two sided relationship. Pushing the thought away she slid on her working gloves and headed downstairs with a bounce in her step. Tonight she would see him, that was all the motivation she needed.

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Secret Love**

"See you tomorrow!" Tohru waved at the ladies she worked with and waited at the lamp post for him to walk her home.

Right on cue he walked over with a small smile on his face, his hands in his pockets.

"Kyo."

"Tohru. Ready to go?" She nodded and bounced over to him, but before she could grab his hand he grabbed hers and pulled her along in a different direction than they usually took.

"Figured we could take the long way home. The longer I can be away from that damn rat the better. And because I want to be with you longer so don't get the wrong idea I don't like you or something!" Kyo quickly assured her and Tohru couldn't help but smile. They fought all the time much to her dismay, but she knew it was good for Kyo sometimes to get out his pent up frustrations.

They walked in comfortable silence for a few moments. Even though Tohru couldn't hug him they were still close just the same.

 _Should I ask her?_ Kyo thought to himself. Sighing he decided what the heck?

"Tohru...You think you might wanna go to the fair with me tomorrow?" He scratched the back of his head and looked at her wondering if he could take his invitation back. They've only been on one official date after all. He smiled a little seeing Tohru's face flush but she nodded.

"Y-Yes. That would be lovely Kyo." Kyo chuckled and they continued walking. She was the same as she was last year. It was their third year of highschool and he had feared Tohru would become different. She had recieved more attention from upperclassmen, she only became more beautiful with each passing day and he wanted to hold onto that. Nto just beautiful on the outside, but the inside as well. He was afraid she would reject him and move on to boys that could actually hug her and had a much better personality than he ever could. But she didn't. She stuck with him through it all. He almost slapped himself for thinking otherwise. How could he ever doubt his sweet Tohru?

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Chaotic**

The sun shone through the window nearly blinding me. Stupid Sun. After a five minute debate with myself on whether to get up or stay in the warm comfort of my bed, I finally decided to get a shower and change. Knowing I had a date with Tohru wasn't bad motivation either.

Shrugging on a black shirt and my green cargo pants I headed downstairs, the mouth watering smell of Tohru's cooking filling my nose.

 **Narrator POV**

"Hello Kyo." Tohru bowed with a slight twinge of pink on her cheeks.

"You don't have to bow y'know." Kyo muttered shaking his head and grabbing the bottle of milk reserved especially for him. Realizing it was empty his eyes shone with frustration.

"Crap! We're out of milk." Tohru frantically bowed a string of apologies following. "Sorry Kyo I didn't know we were out. I was planning to go to the grocery store after breakfast. I-"

"Don't worry about it. The mutt can take care of it." Tohru nodded but still had slight guilt displayed on her face about Shigure doing what she should have.

Yuki showed up next still half asleep as usual. Sitting down in his usual spot his eyes were slowly drifting closed. His head seemed to grow heavier and before he knew it he fell asleep, his head slamming down on the table. Tohru freaked out wondering if he was ok and Kyo rolled his eyes telling her she shouldn't worry about him. And he laughed 'hopefully he'll never wake up.'

"Highschool girls. Highschool girls all for me highschool girls. Oh hello my beautiful delicate flower." Shigure winked at Tohru fanning himself resulting in a blushing Tohru and an irritated Kyo.

"Shut up!"

'Now, now Kyo. That is no way to act in front of a lady. She should not be exposed to such things. Oh yes that reminds me, I was just about to call Aya." At this statement Yuki jerked himself awake. Yuki and Kyo glared at Shigure angrily.

"If you disrupt today with that annoying brother of mine I will make you eat that phone." Shigure nervously laughed before retreating to his study.

"So Miss Honda do you have any plans for today?" Yuki asked his eye still twitching. Tohru looked to Kyo and he shook his head no. That meant she needed to lie.

"Well I am going with Kyo to train. He said he would help me improve." Yuki's eyes widened.

"But Miss Honda I don't want you to end up hurt. Are you sure I shouldn't come along? I don't want the baka neko's foolish actions to hurt you."

"Shut up or I'll make you eat those words girly boy." Kyo rose preparing for the fight which Yuki gladly complied.

There was just no use with those two. But Tohru still believed in her heart that one day the two could be friends. The cat and the rat always fighting. The cat's desire burned throughout his body to beat the rat and once again be accepted. Everytime he saw the rat the flame within him ignited and thought he could beat him. But really in the end he couldn't. For the rat had the same amount of training but was the stronger of the two.

As predicted Kyo lost and angrily climbed up to the roof. He planned to just stay there until his date. But that idea quickly dissipated as he felt the house rumble underneath him. No! It wasn't-

Oh but it was. He saw the familiar brunette storming up the path of the house her eyes wide and crazed. She punched through the paper doors and Shigure cried from his study, "My poor house!"

"Where is he?" The girl asked and Tohru told her he was on the roof. No way in hell would she climb a roof.

"Kyo get your butt down here dangit!"

"No!" Kyo screeched and that was it. Now more frustrated the boar quickly scrambled up to the roof before he realized she was there. When he did it was too late and she charged at him.

"Kyo." The tone of her voice shifting significantly to a softer one. "You didn't write or call me...I missed you so much!" She pummeled Kyo and shook him until he couldn't take anymore.

"Kagura."

"Now I know why. Its because of that Tohru isn't it! Tohru you are now once again my rival! I won't let you have him!"

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Day at the Fair**

Kagura was yanked off of Kyo by Yuki? Why would that damn rat help him out? Yuki sighed shaking his head in annoyance. "I can't study with all of the noise. If you are going to beat him up take it outside." Yuki snarled turning to go back to his room before the dog stopped him.

"Yuki, I was planning on us all going to the fair this afternoon. Momiji Kisa, Hiro, Haru, and Aya were tagging along. I had hoped that Tohru and Kyo could join us as well. But by the looks of it you have something better to do than grant an old man's dying wish." Shigure pressed the back of his hand to his forehead.

"You're not dying sensei." Haru stood in the doorway and they noticed Kisa, Hiro, Momiji, and Hatori not too far behind.

"Cut the dramatics." Hatori's eye began to twitch and Shigure ran over to him.

"Why will you not come? Do you not love me anymore?" Shigure fanned himself pretending to look as if on the verge of tears and Hatori rolled his one good eye.

"I didn't to begin with. Kisa, Hiro; make sure you stay together. We can't afford for you to get lost. We already have enough people that get lost on a daily basis." Hatori said pointedly at Hatsuharu who in response folded his arms across his chest in a huff.

"So how about it?" Shigure pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

"I have to take care of Akito if you will excuse me." Hatori ducked out and Yuki agreed to go with a shrug. He could study later, he wouldn't mind spending the daywith Miss Honda.

"We're training today." Kyo muttered tired of this conversation already.

"Training her in what exactly?" Ayame seemed to have come out of nowhere, Yuki and Kyo immediately tensed.

"Aya!"

"Gure'!" They both ran into eachother's arms.

"I've missed you. How will I make it through another night without you?" Shigure cupped Ayame's cheek and they stared into eachother's eyes.

"You won't have to. I will hold you through the night."

"Aya!"

"Gure'" was the sultry response before they both gave a thumbs up. "Ok!"

"Can we just go?" Yuki balled his fists as he thought of ways to get rid of his brother. Might as well take care of the dog while he was at it.

"Well guess we should go. I wouldn't want to keep Kazuma-san waiting. Bye." Tohru and Kyo rushed out of the house while Momiji and Haru had to restrain the boar from going after Tohru.

Whew that was a close call. Tohru felt extremely guilty about lying to everyone but they feared Akito. If news got out about them being in a relationship, Akito would surely kill them both. Or torture them so much they would wish he would just end it. Kyo reached for Tohru's hand and gave it a reasuring squeeze.

"It'll be fine." And they figured maybe it would be. They were now sitting at the top of the ferris wheel overlooking the town. Tohru was smiling replaying the events of the day in her head.

Once Kyo and Tohru entered the park they were both in awe of it all. Kyo had never been to a fair before, he was always lonely and didn't really feel like spending the day around crying babies, loud drunk men, and girls he could transform around. Tohru's eyes flitted around until they landed on a nearby water gun game. You had to shoot water at the target the fastest and win a prize of your choosing.

After little coaxing, Tohru convinced Kyo to play. Kyo focused and was sure he had one but still ended up losing. Angrily he ripped the gun out its holster snapping it in two. "This game is rigged!"

"Its okay Kyo...We can do something else." Tohru placed and hand on his shoulder to calm the angry cat down.

Making their way to the nearby rollercoaster they both glanced up and saw how high it was. Tohru was afraid but so long as Kyo was there with her she would be fine. Kyo stomped over with Tohru following suit and sat down in the cart. After being secured Kyo sat back and folded his hands behind his head. 'This would be nothing.' he thought smugly to himself before it took off before he could think about it. It took them through corkscrews, loops, upside down, backwards.

The ride finally came to a halt and flung them back once more. Kyo couldn't help but hate himself for eating a big meal this morning. He had never been on a rollercoaster before so the thought hadn't even crossed his mind.

Stumbling off the ride Kyo threw up in a nearby trashcan. The ride had been exciting and left Tohru feeling exhilarated. All her fears were dashed once it got going and she got used to it. She worried about Kyo. She didn't even think to warn him about not eating before going to the fair. They walked over and saw the photos taken from a point in the ride. Tohrus' eyes were closed with a wide smile plastered on her face, Kyo on the other hand looked like a maniac. His hair was flying, his mouth was pulled back, and his crimson eyes grew to nearly impossible sizes.

Kyo swore under his breath that he was going to burn it. Tohru giggled at how cute he looked. She made a mental note to secure a copy for herself and add it to her growing scrapbook.

The two continued making their way around the park. Kyo had finally won a giant stuffed bunny which made her think of Momiji. He bought Tohru cotton candy, she got hennaed, and they took pictures in the photobooth. By the time the two reached the ferris wheel they were in high spirits. They watched their family down below. Even the usually emotionless Haru, uptight Yuki, and annoyed Hiro appeared to be having a good time.

"Pretentious stinking rat." Kyo muttered but nothing could really bring him down. Tohru sighed.

"Is he really that bad? I mean I know he's the rat and everything but..."

"I'm gonna beat that rat one day fair and square...Why do you care so much about him anyway?" Kyo glanced over and noticed Tohru's face darken.

"He's my brother."

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Brother Please**

"What?! How is that rat your brother? But...Huh?" Kyo's head was starting to spin with how many questions came to mind."

"He's always been my brother, I didn't know until a year ago...Apparently long ago my Father was seeing Yuki's Mother. It was before he met my Mom, and during that time she became pregnant. Yuki's Mother left him no longer wanting him around. That was when he met my Mom."

"Thats so confusing. Wait, so he's your half brother? Does he know?"

Tohru waved her hands frantically, "I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I don't think he would want to know."

Kyo smiled deviously, he could never be with Tohru. Well they could but that would be incest, which is frowned upon in most places. He wanted to gloat but was afraid of Tohru being upset with him.

"Ok then..."

The two left the ferris wheel and made their way to the beach to watch the firework show.

Tohru dug her heels into the white sand as water lapped over her bare feet. Her brunette locks were blowing in the wind, her eyes glowing with excitement as the fireworks crackled across the sky. Kyo thought she couldn't look more beautiful.

"Thank you." She turned to him with a goofy grin. He looked at her startled.

"For what? I didn't do nothin."

"The date..."Tohru trailed off blushing slightly.

Kyo grinned and pecked her on the cheek. "Don't worry about it..."

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Damage Control**

Tohru started on breakfast when a half asleep Yuki stepped into view.

"Good morning Yuki!" She smiled brightly and Yuki held up his hand in greeting before continuing the exhausting trek to the table.

While she was allowing the food to simmer, she couldn't help but look out the window and see where her boyfriend was practicing.

He was shirtless yet he still felt the sun beating down on him as he shadow boxed. His body glimmered with sweat trickling down his form.

* * *

 **Tohru POV**

Still weird to call him my boyfriend...The only other boyfriend I've had was Hikaru and only Uo and Hana know about him.

 **A/N: Not an Ouran Highschool reference lol**

He looks...Cute like that. No...Thats not the right word to describe Kyo. Thats what I call Yuki...

Charming? Gorgeous? Hot.

I can't believe I'm thinking this. Its wrong of me to think that of anyone. I shouldn't! Oh if Kyo knew what I was thinking right now...

I felt heat rise to my cheeks as the tea kettle hissed.

* * *

 **Narrator POV**

Tohru quickly finished breakfast all the while trying to block out any 'inane' thoughts of Kyo's appearance.

* * *

 **Kyo POV**

I couldn't believe I was thinking this. But I almost wish it would rain, its too damn hot to be training.

But I needed a distraction.

Ever since I began to date Tohru I had a little problem...That even I knew not to ask her to help me with.

I was a guy...I was hormonal...I was horny...

Gah! What the hell?

I don't deserve to feel this, I'm a monster.

A monster doesn't deserved to be cared for much less loved.

I could't help but throw faster punches at these thoughts.

It was doing nothing for me.

Finally I decided to leave and get away for a few hours, I needed time to cool off before I did something I'd regret.

* * *

Tohru finished placing the food on the table for the four of them to enjoy. She glanced around outside and called upstairs for him. No answer.

"Tohruuu! Are you looking for someone?" Shigure smirked and Yuki looked up to see Tohru staring down at them with wide eyes.

"I was just wondering where Kyo went off to. Its not like him to just leave without saying anything."

"Miss Honda don't worry about that stupid cat. He probably went up to the mountains to fight bears or something. Hopefully he won't return." Yuki muttered the last part under his breath but they caught it.

"The air is far too tense in here! I think it is time I lightened the mood! Guess who's staying here!" Shigure sang and Yuki narrowed his eyes.

"It better not be-"

"Well hello dear brother! Tohru, and ahh Gure'! It has been too long since we've last been together." Ayame called from the doorway.

"You were just here yesterday." Yuki growled.

"Oh but I just couldn't stay away, especially with you here dear brother. This will give us a chance to bond and grow together as we face the harsh world battling until we reach our end. An opportunity for you to look to your brother for all the wisdom he posseses."

"You come on too strong for his liking." Hatori said from behind him, lighting his cigarette.

"Why it here? How long is it staying here?" Yuki gritted out, a shadow slowly creeping up his face.

Ayame clasped his hands in front of his chest. "Oh Yuki your words are like arrows to my fragile heart. I don't think I would be able to stand it if you were to aim another of your biting words at me."

"I need to visit with Akito and he needs someone to watch him int he meantime. I will return in a week." Hatori left without another word and Yuki escaped to his room slamming the door shut.

Tohru left to her room as well and flopped on her bed, burying her face into her pillow.

* * *

Was it something I did? Kyo left without saying a word? Was he tired of me? Like Hikaru?...

I turned to face the wall and shut my eyes as a tear drop escaped and dropped onto my pillow.

Did he no longer want me?

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Burning Desires**

Shigure and Ayame were both sitting in his study. Night was slowly creeping up and he knew there wouldn't be much time, now was the time to put his plan into action.

"Oh _Gure'_ thats a brilliant idea! Oh how I love the idea of playing matchmaker." Ayame cheered.

Shigure rubbed his hands together excitedly, "I agree Aya, although I have had my suspicions they are already together. Now it is time to take it to the next level."

"You want Kyo to deflower Tohru!" Ayame screeched.

"Aya please keep it down. We don't want to reveal ourselves too early." The front door slammed open and Kyo stomped inside. Before he could reach the stairs Shigure tackled him,

"Ahh! Get off me ya raggedy mutt!" Kyo flailed in the hold Shigure had on him.

"Ah, ah, ah. We have something to discuss first." He winked at Ayame. That was his signal to go find Tohru.

* * *

Ayame rapped on the door before barging in. "Tohru! It is time that I impart my knowledge to you my dear!" He leaned over and noticed Tohru's tear-streaked face. She woke up realizing his presence she quickly rubbed her eyes.

"I'm fine. Nothings wrong heh heh." She slumped forward unable to keep up a cheery composure.

"Its amore isn't it? Ah my dear Tohru, I'm here to answer any questions you may have about lucky Kyo!" Ayame laughed and flipped his silver hair over his shoulder, placing his hands on his hips.

"Y-You know?" She stuttered her face turning forty shades of red, Ayame chuckled once again.

"Of course! What would you like to know?"

Tohru stared down at her hands on her lap and tried to decide what to ask. He did seem like a romantic, he was older, he was her brother...Maybe this could be a chance to find out more about these feelings.

"I have been...Looking at Kyo and... I like the way he looks...I like it a lot." She squeaked.

"It is normally to be sexually attracted to a man. Kyo is close enough to one I suppose. Have you thought about sex before?" And just when he thought her face couldn't become more red than it already is.

"N-N...Yes!" She cried covering her face with her hands. It was so embarrassing but at times when Kyo caught her spacing out, that was exactly what she had been thinking.

Ayame smirked deviously, "Perfect."

* * *

"Come, sit." Shigure gestured for Kyo to have a seat in his study.

Snorting he plopped down and looked away.

"I have one question for you."

"Yeah, what?" He grunted.

"How is it you've been able to keep your hands off Tohru for so long? I mean you must have a lot of self control."

"What are you talking about old pervert?!" Kyo yelled and Shigure giggled.

"Just as I thought. You want her...I'm wondering how long you will be able to keep this up."

"It- Tohru wouldn't want to do anything like that, not that its any of your business." Kyo's anger seeped out of him and he grew tired.

"I wouldn't say that. After all women even those that are as innocent as Tohru, have desires Kyo. I believe that she wants the same as you, she is just afraid to voice her wants." Kyo stood and turned away from him. "Yeah right." And with that he left and made his way upstairs. He entered his room and saw Tohru standing there staring out the window.

She turned around and noticing who it was she hastily stared at the ground, her face seemed to be flaming now. She gripped the hem of her nightshirt nervously.

"K-Kyo...Can I ask you something?"

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: End of an Era**

Kyo froze in his tracks, he clamped his hand over his mouth in awe of the sight before him.

Tohru was wearing a nightgown rather than her yellow pajama set. The nightgown was a deep scarlet lace that barely reached her knees, it was off the shoulder, and was low cut. Her hair was flowing past her shoulders in soft waves and the pink on her cheeks made her look even more mesmerizing than he ever imagined her. He realized Ayame must have been the one to make it, for it had his handiwork written all over it.

He finally forced himself to move towards her until they were merely inches apart. "Yeah?"

Tohru had to remind herself not to look away, the question was too important.

"..." For some reason she couldn't speak, as his crimson eyes burned into her sapphire. She looked down ashamedly.

Kyo thought back to the discussion he had with Shigure, he decided to bite the bullet and just ask her.

"Tohru...Are you asking to...Y'know...?" Kyo found himself flustered and was mentally cursing at how much he felt like a pansy. It was just a question, she was his girlfriend it shouldn't be so hard.

"Do you want to have sex?" Tohru gasped and looked up in surprise. Tohru was still for a few minutes and Kyo was afraid this was the wrong thing to ask. She was so innocent she probably didn't think things like that. That was what he thought until she nodded hurriedly.

"Y-Yes." She squeaked out and he looked at her as if trying to see if she was 100% sure about this.

He silently closed the gap as much as he could without transforming and captured her lips with his.

He pulled away and said, "Are you sure-"

Tohru cut him off with a kiss, now feeling a little more comfortable with the idea.

They both kissed hungrily, they both were experiencing a feeling they could not name.

Kyo carried Tohru to his bed without breaking the kiss, she wrapped her legs around his midsection as he deepened the kiss.

Finally the broke the kiss for air before he dove to her neck and placed kisses up and down. Tohru was surprised at the moan that escaped her lips. She couldn't believe this was actually happening.

Kyo smiled into her neck as he kissed and sucked what he discovered to be her sweet spot. She bit her lip to restrain the gasp threatening to escape.

He knew he should take things slow with Tohru, but his thoughts were screaming at him to just skip foreplay. The desire to be inside of her was clouding his thoughts with every moan she emitted.

As he began to lift up her nightgown the door slammed open and the two jumped back.

"Crap." Kyo hissed as he quickly recognized the figure standing in the doorway. He forgot Yuki's room was right next door.

Yuki stood in the doorway his eyes wide with shock. Tohru ran out and Yuki clenched his fists, his eyes narrowing at the cat.

"What are you doing to Miss Honda?" Yuki gritted out as he began to advance on Kyo, cracking his knuckles preparing for the fight that was about to ensue.

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: No Regrets**

"None of your business! Get out rat boy." Yuki smirked. Oh he was gonna enjoy this now.

"It seems to me you couldn't keep your grubby hands off of Miss Honda." Yuki's voice was dripping with venom as he decked Kyo. Kyo fell backwards into his nightstand knocking the lamp to the floor with a crash.

Kyo swiped the blood dripping from his lip with the back of his hand, and glared at Yuki. "The heck is it to you?" Kyo lunged after Yuki who quickly dodged and Kyo fell to the floor. Yuki saw the opportunity and twisted Kyo's arm behind his back. He wanted to hear the sweet sound of his bones cracking as he continued to painfully twist the cats arm but Tohru stepped in front of Yuki.

"Please, don't hurt him Yuki-kun." She fell to her knees holding her hands up in surrender. Yuki's eyes widened in surprise.

"But Miss Honda, wasn't the stupid cat bothering you?" She shook her head as tears continued to stream down her face.

"N-no. He wasn't hurting me, we...We are dating." Yuki stared at her openly gaping now. His eyes darted between her and the cat rubbing his shoulder in pain peering at him through angry slits.

Yuki stepped back. He had a crush on Tohru for a long time and always thought he stood a better chance with her than Kyo. Kyo didn't deserve her as much as he did. Everyone always liked Kyo for the person he was, not the facade Yuki displayed...He stole the one thing he truly cared about.

"But how can you love the _cat_?" Yuki couldn't stop himself from saying this, he wanted Kyo to be hurt by his words. To cower away at the truth, but he knew Kyo wasn't the type.

"Kyo isn't a monster!" Tohru said more forcefully. "I love him very much...Yuki..." With a sigh she pressed on. "I do like you, but in a different way. I love you as a brother...My brother."

Bewilderment now seemed to be etched into the Prince's cool features. He shook his head thinking she must have meant she cared for him like a brother.

"Brother?...I see."

"Yes, I found out last year." Yuki could hardly believe his ears, how could he be her brother?

"Wha-what?"

"You're speechless, thats a first." Kyo snorted before heading downstairs. Yuki absently sat down on the bed in shock and Tohru followed.

"I'm sorry Yuki-kun, I didn't want to tell you like this..." Yuki's throat felt cotton dry now, he couldn't think of anything to say. He fell in love with his sister.

"I think I need to lie down." Yuki paled, he was failing miserably at keeping a calm composure.

"Yuki-" before she could say anything more he passed out.

* * *

 **Chapter Ten: I Still Want You**

Yuki's eyes slowly fluttered open as he felt coolness over him. He cleared his vision further to realize Tohru was fanning him and noticed her eyebrows furrowed with worry. He wondered why she seemed so distraught until it came crashing down on him.

Yuki jerked forward and held his head in his hands. He couldn't believe he fainted, the Yuki Sohma passed out after discovering Tohru Honda was somehow his sister and dating his sworn archenemy. Could this miserable night get any better?

Tohru placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to get him to lie back down.

"I'm fine Miss Honda." Yuki gritted out more harshly than he intended. Sighing he relented and collapsed back onto the bed and stared off into the distance trying to process it all.

"How can…." He couldn't decide how to ask the burning question that was baffling him most, surprisingly she caught on.

"We share the same Father… Your Mom used to be with my Father…"Tohru felt it unnecessary to say any more, if he knew what his Mom did after she found out about him impregnating her….Well Tohru wouldn't want Yuki to think bad of his Mom she assumed was a lovely lady…she isn't.

"Oh." He couldn't think of anything more to say. He decided to put his feelings for Tohru aside at least for tonight. He could grieve in the morning and possibly the rest of his days…

Suddenly the thought finally hit him and he sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. "So Ayame…" Yuki snorted in disgust not wanting to taste the words that almost left his mouth. He felt bad for Tohru now; she shared relations with the flamboyant snake just as he did.

Tohru nodded and Yuki just shook his head. Honestly if it weren't him in this situation he would be in hysterics, the situation was humorous. Sadly that wasn't the case…

* * *

After Yuki finally fell asleep Tohru left quietly and made her way downstairs. Kyo was just coming out of the kitchen when he noticed her loss of footing, Tohru missed the last step and lurched forward, Kyo sprang into action and caught her in his arms. With an orange poof of smoke, a cat sat on a pile of clothes next to Tohru.

"I'm sorry Kyo. I really ruined tonight. I messed things up with you, with Yuki…" Tohru 's body racked with sobs she tried to restrain. Tohru didn't know why she was overcome with guilt, sadness…Grief… But she was angry with herself for feeling this bad and allegedly screwing things up.

A few minutes later Kyo transformed back and pulled Tohru to his chest. She gasped slightly as he rubbed circles into her back, his crimson eyes fixated on a spot on the floor.

"K-Ky-Kyo…Y-You-" Kyo pulled away and glanced down now knowing what she meant. He shrugged and pulled on his pants and boxers but his shirt was still missing in action.

Kyo rose from the floor, dusted himself off, and helped Tohru to her feet. They both returned to their own separate rooms.

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven: Last Fling (Before School Starts...)**

Tohru began patting rice into the form of a rice ball, singing softly to herself. She was in high spirits once again and was looking forward to seeing what the new day would bring.

Shigure left his study, stretching he cracked his back. "Ahh now all I have to do is await the arrival of Mii! In Three...Two...One." He sang just as the door slammed open. His deranged looking editor looked as if she were about to pull her hair out, her eyes were blood shut as if she hadn't slept in days.

"Shigure. Where is your manuscript? It was due a week ago!" Shigure shrugged nonchalantly and found his place at the table.

"Was it? Hmm, I suppose I should start on it soon huh?" Mii snarled and pulled her hair.

"YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED IT?!" Having enough she dragged a reluctant Shigure off to the study and slammed the door shut ensuring no escape. An oddly bemused Tohru wondered when he would stop torturing his editor, then again it was Shigure.

Tohru turned around and watched as an exhausted Yuki plopped down at the table followed by an irritated Kyo. As soon as Tohru and Kyo's eyes met they both quickly turned away. Tohru rushed off to turn the eyes on the stove off and shortly after she finished the last of breakfast her face an unmistakable crimson.

Kyo's face rivaled that of a tomato with how red in the face he was. Yuki just sighed and slumped forward wishing for the uncomfortable breakfast to be over already.

After finishing in silence Yuki mentioned he would be going to the school, since he was the president he had to make preparations for the first day of school tomorrow. This left Kyo and Tohru all to themselves.

Tohru couldn't hide the shaking in her legs, and she swiped her sweaty palms on the pleat of her skirt and gripped the hem as if it would calm her down.

"K-Kyo?" His head shot up and he peered at her anxiously.

She touched her two index fingers together nervously before placing two tickets on the table. Kyo glanced down curiously before realizing they were tickets for a play called "The Sound of Music." He quirked a brow and wondered what this was for.

"I found out that they were putting on a play of my favorite American movie...And I really wanted to go, but I wanted you to experience it with my Kyo." She gritted out trembling with every word. The fear of rejection was eating away at her the longer she awaited his answer.

Kyo appeared to be struggling. Part of it was the fact he felt on edge after his lucid dream last night, second was he wasn't into this kind of thing. Especially when it came to being around others. He wondered when he became whipped to the point where he will do nearly anything for Tohru. He supposed it came with the territory. He sighed and pushed his thoughts about it, and other things aside.

"Yeah, ok." Tohru felt like she would burst with happiness, she felt exhilarated at the thought of Kyo accompanying her to see her favorite musical of all time.

* * *

Later that night Kyo stood in front of his mirror glaring at his reflection. He had no idea what the proper attire would be so he decided on a black t-shirt (unbuttoned of course) that fit his muscular form well and black jeans. It was a special occasion since it would be his last date with Tohru for quite some time and he wanted to look good, for her.

Tohru was throwing clothes left and right trying to decide what to wear. She felt an increasing panic. Oh Mom, what am I gonna do? What if I pick something he doesn't like at all? She at least wished Hana and Uo were here to give her advice but she knew she couldn't tell them about her relationship. It was already bad enough the dog and snake knew.

She finally settled on a dress she forgot she had, Hana and Uo gave it to her for a birthday present and she felt too childish to wear it at the time. It was a black strapless dress with a sweetheart top, it fell just below her knees and flattered her figure well. She then pulled out the black stilettos she received as well and stood. She paced back and forth trying to break them in as much as time would allow. Finally she completed the look by curling her hair in soft waves, applying light pink lip gloss, hardly noticeable mascara, and a set of diamond earrings and necklace that her Mom gave her long ago.

Kyo waited patiently at the foot of the stairs and when she made her entrance his jaw dropped to the floor. Tohru looked even more beautiful than he ever thought she could. Up until recently he would only think to describe her as cute when it came down to her appearance but looking at her know she was outrageously gorgeous. It wasn't too revealing and held the innocence he knew Tohru possessed. She was stunning.

He cleared his throat and extended his hand which she took with that goofy smile of hers. A smile ghosted over his lips as they made their way to the theatre.

* * *

It was quite the task finding their seats in the dark but they were thankful to have found two in the center. Tohru was bouncing in her seat excitedly and Kyo smiled at this. She always got so excited about everything.

He placed his arm over the back of her seat and she snuggled to him as closely as possible without causing him to transform. Voices filled the room as the curtain rose and the actors dressed as Nuns came into view.

Kyo would never admit it but actually found himself immersed in the musical. He was going in with the initial thought of sleeping for two hours or so, but he actually enjoyed the story. Even the music. He watched the actors that played Captain Von Trapp and Maria gaze into each other's eyes as they broke out into a beautiful duet that brought tears to Tohru's eyes. He found himself imagining if that were Tohru and himself. He snorted at the thought of them serenading each other and rolled his eyes.

* * *

They left the theatre and both were in an extremely good mood.

"That was amazing! Thank you Kyo!" She exclaimed wishing so badly to hug him. He shrugged trying to play it off but really on the inside he was just as happy as she was if not more.

The two arrived back home around eleven pm, a note on the front of the door stated Yuki was staying over at Kakeru's house to tie up some loose ends before the start of school. Shigure on the other hand was visiting with Ayame for the night.

Kyo was about to leave when he felt a tug on his shirt. He whipped around and faced a flushed Tohru. She stood on her tiptoes and pecked him on the corner of his mouth. She felt ashamed that she missed but Kyo cupped her cheek and captured her lips in a long kiss. They only broke away because the needed oxygen.

"Can we..." She gulped and stared down at her feet blushing furiously. Kyo's eyes became the size of saucers realizing she wanted the same thing. His thoughts immmediately went back to what the mutt said to him once again. _I believe she wants the same as you, she is just afraid of voicing her wants._

He noticed it was perfect timing what with Shigure not being there to make some perverted comment, and Yuki beating the crap out of him.

He reached for her hand once more and pulled her into his bedroom and shut the door, he felt safer locking the door this time.

* * *

"That was..." Tohru breathed out.

"-I know." Kyo finished, he felt elated knowing this was certainly not a dream. This was real...

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve: From Me To You (Kimi Ni Todoke ;D)**

The dark of the night had slowly faded bringing in the light of the new day.

Kyo and Tohru were tangled up in the sheets as they slowly began to stir. The night before when they lost their virginity to the other, it was almost as if they gave a piece of their soul...It was beautiful.

Unfortunately Tohru felt sore from last night's events, she rolled over and stretched. Kyo mimicked her actions when the thought occurred to them both.

Why hadn't he transformed when they embraced? Was the curse truly broken? Sadly, figuring out what was wrong would have to wait until after school.

The cool air hit Tohru's skin causing her to realize they were both naked. Her face darkened while she scrambled to cover herself with Kyo's sheet. He raised an eyebrow at her actions, she still felt embarassed about it. Guess some things would never change...

Tohru bolted down the hallway, grabbed clothes from her room, and rushed into the shower before anyone else saw her. He thought to remind her no one was home but decided she would figure it out eventually.

He felt sticky and in need of a shower himself but he didn't believe she would be comfortable with the whole idea of showering together.

* * *

Fully dressed Tohru began breakfast preparations for two. By the time it was finished Kyo joined her at the table.

"Its going to be so exciting to see everyone at school again?" Tohru clasped her hands together beaming.

"Why? We saw them all summer." Kyo bit into his food roughly before Tohru said, "Ah but seeing them at school is a different experience."

Kyo snorted at this but didn't say anything more.

* * *

When they arrived at the school, a group of rabid fan girls were there to greet them. Kyo rolled his eyes disgustedly and glared left at them in hopes of them shrinking back...No such luck.

"Tohru Honda! It was already bad enough you're always around the prince, and now the school hottie too!" The one with brown ponytails barked at her.

Kyo stepped in front of Tohru and crossed his arms over his chest. "Leave her the hell alone. In this case I will have no issue hitting a girl if you even think about touching her." The girls audibly gasped before storming off.

"T-Thank You Kyo." Tohru murmured shyly and he shrugged before pulling her along to class. Tohru found herself smiling knowing that Kyo would always be there to protect her.

* * *

Tohru sighed exhausted, she just got off work and though she would never say anything- was quite worn out. The only thing she looked forward to was meeting up with her favorite orange-haired boy.

She waved over at him and rushed over before realizing he was not alone. A soft mew emitted from Kyo's companion, Tohru knelt down and the kitten jumped onto her lap. The kitten was the color of ivory with ruby red eyes.

"Aww what a cute little kitten! It has your eyes!" Tohru cooed as the kitten crawled up and nuzzled her neck. A small smile tugged at Kyo's lips and Tohru's face lit up with realization.

"Did you get a kitten for me...?" Kyo rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah well, its not that big a deal or anything. She followed me home from the library and I thought you'd like her." Tohru jumped up and flung her arms around Kyo's waist excitedly. She was especially thankful for him no longer transforming.

"I think I'll name her Masami." Masami purred at her newly given name. Tohru giggled imagining if Kyo purred.

"I was thinking we could conduct research on the whole curse thing so I stopped by the library after school." Kyo chuckled lightly at her expression.

Once they arrived they headed straight to the living room where Kyo had laid books out. Yuki came downstairs and watched as they searched through the books.

His curiosity got the better of him and he wandered over. "Miss Honda, if you need help with your homework I'd be happy too-" He lifted up the book and read the title. _Tale of the Zodiac._

"-Oblige...What is this?" Kyo glared at the rat but continued his search.

"We are trying to learn of the curse." Yuki quirked his brow.

Kyo thought hell would have frozen over before he ever inquired the rat's help. It must have happened because he explained when he and Tohru hugged he didn't transform.

Yuki sighed before dropping to his knees and aiding them, more for himself than the cat. He desired to know it could help him.

After another hour when they were about to give up hope Yuki found the answer. "This might be something... _Back in the olden days those of the zodiac transformed around outsiders. But a mystery to the original junushi, those that are embracing the one they love shall not transform. The curse is rendered ineffective once they found someone whom returns their feelings. The curse of the cat may be lifted once he and the one he loves express their love to one another physically..._ " He closed the book and the room grew still.

So that was why he did not transform.

Kyo and Tohru shared a knowing smile. Maybe they could actually be together...As one.

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen: Dooms Day**

Tohru whipped the sheet as the sun shone down, while she hung the laundry on the clothesline. She felt arms wrap around her waist and someone rest their chin on her shoulder.

"Hi Kyo!" He pulled away and she realized he was dressed for Martial Arts.

"I'm heading out to train with my master for the day..Make sure you don't zone out like a space cadet while I'm gone." He tussled her hair and before he could go any further she hugged him from behind.

"See you later...Kyo."

* * *

"Now keep them closed." Shigure sang, shortly after clamping both hands over Tohru's eyes. They walked a few more steps before he gave her permission to open them.

"Ta da!" He gestured to a gift wrapped box on the table. She nervously lifted the top of the gift and her face flushed instantly. Yuki glanced inside and knocked Shigure into the wall.

"Thats what you deserve for being a perverted mutt." Yuki growled before storming away. Tohru couldn't help but stare at the contents that came from a shop called 'Pleasure House for Adults.'

 **A/N: I want to know if you guys understand that reference :p**

She shut it as quickly as she opened it and rushed off to complete her chores outside.

Just as she opened the door she faced Akito.

He nodded over his shoulder so that she could follow him out, he lead her deep into the darkest regions of the mangled forest depths. They were so far into the forest it was nearly pitch black and she could barely see her hands right in front of her.

He shoved her into the tree trunk and grasped her neck in his icy, cold, hand. Her eyes widened as his own shrank and became black pools.

"I don't recall telling you to fuck the cat." Akito hissed out tightening the hold he had on her throat. He shoved his knee in between her legs and smirked when she didn't make an audible reaction.

"I thought a whore like you would enjoy that." He ran his hand along her thigh and chortled feeling the goosebumps rising on her skin. He finally released his grip and she coughed adjusting to the oxygen re-entering her lungs. That didn't allow for her to grow accustomed to his deathly touch. The feeling of his hands groping her anywhere he could get his hands on. He leaned forward and lapped his tongue over her neck and bit down roughly.

She shivered and he smiled deviously into her neck. "You don't love Kyo...Sex with anyone else would feel the same. Your body will react to anyone. Before thinking about being involved with the monster once again, remember who was the one whom sealed his fate." Akito smirked before disappearing back into the forest.

Tohru dropped down and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them rocking back and forth. She couldn't doubt nor deny her feelings for Kyo, Akito's statement was untrue...But he could do anything he liked to either of them, even if the curse was ineffective with her. He still had a hold over all of the zodiac.

After two hours Tohru looked up and now stared into complete darkness, it was most likely past midnight at this point. The others were more than likely worried for her...But she didn't know how to escape, everywhere she turned it appeared the same for she could not see.

So she sat there and waited for when it would finally be daytime once more and she could find her way out.

* * *

Yuki paced across the floor growing more and more annoyed with Shigure's dramatic act.

"Oh our dear flower! Lost out in the wilderness, possibly facing deadly creatures or predators lurking in the branches. Oh the thought of her being stripped of her innocence is too much to bear!" Just as Yuki was about to throttle the irritating dog, the door burst open and Ritsu, Ayame, Momiji, Haru, and Hatori all stood in the doorway.

Ritsu began one of his tirades "We apologize for barging in but-"

"We heard Tohru is missing! Is she alright? Is she?!" The energetic rabbit demanded, Haru grunted wanting an explanation as well.

"Oh my dearest Tohru, where could she be?" Ayame held a hand to his heart and Hatori rolled his eyes.

"I contacted the dojo, Kazuma tried to stop him but Kyo is out searching for her. Do you have the slightest idea as to where she might have gone?" Hatori inquired setting his coat on a nearby chair. Masami wrapped her tail around Yuki and looked up at him as if she knew Tohru was in danger.

"Sadly no. My bets were on Tohru and Kyo running off to elope, I was about to call Ayame and ask if he designed something for them to wear." Shigure shrugged and the rest sighed.

* * *

Kyo had left as soon as the words left Kazuma's mouth, he searched all over town before he began his trek through the woods. He was thankful for his ability to see at night, after three hours his ears picked up soft sobbing just ahead.

He knelt down in front of the girl and scooped her up carrying her bridal style. He decided to take her back to Kazuma's since his place was closer. By the time they arrived Kazuma was dead to the world, Kyo carried her upstairs to his old room and gently placed her onto his bed. He shut the door, covered her up with the blanket before curling up beside her. He held her to him all through the night as sleep claimed them.

He would be the first to know what the hell was going on in the morning...

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen: Stay Together**

Kyo continued tracing Tohru's jawline coaxing her out of her sleep.

He smiled slightly once she began to stir, and her eyes fluttered open.

Every part of her ached and she felt disgusting. Looking up into her boyfriend's eyes she couldn't help but feel she betrayed him...

Even though she hadn't meant to, her body had reacted to Akito's ministrations, she felt ashamed. The lack of control she had experienced was suffocating and made her realize she doesn't stand a chance against him.

What worried Tohru the most was the fact Kyo could be hurt. She knew in order to protect him, she couldn't date him.

"K-Kyo." She croaked and Kyo sat up so they were both eye level.

"...I'm sorry...But I don't think we should be together..." Kyo's eyes widened and then narrowed, he glared down at the floor, gritting his teeth.

"Fine." And without looking back he left for the roof, slamming the door shut. He wasn't going to ask what made her reach this decision. Maybe she grew sick of him, maybe she just now realized the beast he was...Sex was a mistake, it only made him grow more attached to her than he already was.

Kyo flopped down on the roof tiles and slid his eyes shut as the wind howled around him. He was not looking forward to facing Tohru anytime soon...

* * *

As soon as she knew he was out of ear shot, Tohru dropped to the floor and clamped her hand over her mouth as her body shook with tears. She cried until a numb feeling seeped in.

She would act happy in front of the others, but when she was alone she wouldn't have to fake a smile. She would stay away from Kyo in his best interest until she could devise a way to convince Akito to allow his family happiness.

Tohru thought Kyo would ask why, but he didn't. He just left... What hurt even more was the fact Hikaru had done the same to her many moons ago...

Left with no explanation, Tohru cried for days. Her mom had been there to comfort her, but now who was she to turn to?

Yuki would be fine with Kyo and Tohru being broken up, Shigure didn't seem serious enough...

Without thinking it through, Tohru stepped out into the hallway and dialed the number for Kagura's house.

Around the third ring an irritated voice crackled to life, "What?"

"I-Izu-Chan!" Tohru was relieved the horse didn't hang up once realizing it had been Tohru to call.

"Yeah what?'

Tohru gripped the phone and mustered up the courage to ask, "Could I come over...I need advice."

Rin's eyebrows furrowed at the unusual request, what could she possibly need help with? Rin could deal with the girl in small doses so she usually wouldn't have agreed, but the tone of Tohru's voice made her curious.

"Fine." Tohru smiled slightly before bidding her goodbye and setting off shortly after telling Shigure she was going to a friend's house.

* * *

Kyo continued to lie there and was beginning to calm his nerves when someone got close to his ear and said, "Boo."

He jumped and nearly rolled off the roof in surprise. He glared up at the Ox that thought it would be cute to sneak up on him like that.

"The hell do you want?" He folded his arms across his chest and Haru smirked.

"Well kitten you seemed upset about something, it was my mission to investigate." Came Haru's flat statement and Kyo's ears burned bright red.

"Don't call me that damn bovine! Why the fuck are you even here?" Haru sat down and Kyo begrudgingly followed suit. Normally Haru wouldn't ever be on a roof because he hated heights, but he sensed something was going on and wanted to help Tohru and Kyo.

"Because Tohru left the house..." Kyo stared at the cow in bewilderment.

"So?"

"...So, she's upset Kyo."

Kyo felt a pang of guilt, it was like a knife buried deep in his chest.

"You didn't dump her did you? I don't know who would be stupid enough to give up a girl like Tohru." The cat bristled at his statement.

"I didn't break up with her."

Haru nodded realizing what he meant.

"She is not the type of person to hurt anyone intentionally. Tohru most likely thought what she was doing was best." Haru stood and stretched.

"How do ya figure that?"

Haru shoved his hands into his pockets, "Because Rin did the same. My guess is that the reason Tohru was missing was because of Akito. Instead of sitting up here moping around like a wuss, go find out what happened to your girlfriend."

He left Kyo alone to his thoughts. After about an hour he smirked catching a glimpse of the cat hopping down from the roof, and running off in search of Tohru once again.

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen: There is No Greater Tragedy Than the Tale of Juliet and her Romeo**

Tohru was pacing back and forth on the stoop trying to prepare herself to do something that seemed so simple at first. Now however, she was extremely nervous. She took shallow breaths and stopped her pacing. Before she could knock an irritated Rin flung the door open.

"Your pacing was giving me a freakin headache, ever heard of knocking so someone could let you in?" Tohru bowed continuously, her face heating up in record time the shade of crimson.

"Sorry I guess I was distracted and I didn't mean to annoy you, if-"

"Ugh just come in before I regret it." Rin growled rubbing her temples already feeling exhausted.

Tohru followed Rin upstairs to her bedroom and her mouth dropped open in awe of the horse's room. Rin definetely made herself known in the otherwise generic cookie cutter house.

Her walls were black and covered in art she painted and drew in her spare time. There were scarlet velvet curtains shutting out any light that dared sneak in. The room smelled of her bold perfume that Haru loved. If she had animalistic senses she might have detected a hint of Haru's scent mixed in. The comforter of the bed was pulled back, sheets wrinkled, and a black book laid there. Rin sat down on the bed and Tohru did so as well.

"I'm not used to having many guests..." Rin began but her voice died off when she caught sight of the bread and jam. Her favorite food in the entire world. She felt the corners of her lips lift slightly at the thoughtfulness Tohru was exuding with.

The two ate in silence for awhile before Tohru nervously began. "I...Was d-dating Kyo-kun. I mean Kyo. And he-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. The damn cat was dating you? Hmm, I never thought he would end up with anyone." Rin snorted and shoved the rest of the bread into her mouth. Tohru was trembling, sadness crashing over her like a wave.

"I..I love him...I love Kyo!" She buried her face into her hands and Rin stared at her eyes wide in disbelief.

"...Then why are you upset? Did the prick break up with you?" Tohru shook her head frantically.

"I...Did." Rin heard the flustered girl squeak and Rin turned toward her with newfound interest.

"Wow...Why?"

Tohru sighed and leaned back on her hands. "...Akito-sama..." Rin's eyes darkened and her eyebrows furrowed, her fists clenched with rage. She reeked of anger, remorse, sadness...It felt as if the wounds were reopened before they actually had time to heal properly.

"I see."

"But I want to be with him! How did you handle being away from Hatsuharu-kun for so long? What should I do?" Tohru cried clasping her hands together her eyes gleaming with tears gradually spilling over her cheeks.

Rin sighed and quickly wiped her tears away, she hated seeing people cry.

"Kyo can handle and protect himself...If you want to be with him, be with him. Have you even told Kyo why you broke up with him?" She took Tohru's expression as a no.

Just then the door slammed open to reveal an out of breath Kyo, hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

"T-Tohru...We need to...Talk." He managed to gasp out between pants.

Rin rolled her eyes and left the room closing the door behind her.

Before the two exchanged any other words, Tohru hesitantly crossed the room and hugged him. "Yes...We do."

* * *

My heart leapt into my throat at the sight of Tohru. She began slowly making her way towards me and I jumped feeling something grab onto me.

I glanced down and realized she was hugging me. Pulling away I looked directly into her eyes, my mouth became cotton dry to the point I couldn't speak. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm acting like a nervous wimp! After what seemed like ages I managed to form a somewhat intelligent sentence.

"You broke up with me. Why?" Tohru looked on the verge of tears, I could feel the knife in my chest twist painfully. She tapped her two index fingers together, eyes darting around worriedly before staring up into my own.

"...I didn't want anything to happen to you Kyo..." I shook my head wondering if I heard her right.

"That doesn't make sense, who would-" Then it dawned on me...Akito. My heart rate quickened more so at the thought of the bastard doing something to Tohru.

"Did he do anything?...The day you were missing?" Tohru was silent for a few moments before slowly nodding reaffirming my suspicions. She launched into the explanation of what went down that day.

With every word my anger boiled inside of me, as if the flames of hell engulfed me from the inside out. I felt my eyes narrow and my face contorting with pure hatred, more than I could ever feel for the rat. It burned deeply.

"Stay here." I gritted out in an unfamiliar voice. It was entirely different from my own, it was vile and undaunting...I had never felt this angry before.

I ran out before Tohru could stop me. Adrenaline coursed through my veins carrying me faster than humanly possible. Now that the main house was in my sights there was no turning back.

I raced inside only to be stopped by a damn guard telling me the cat didn't belong on the premises. Ignoring his warning I tore through the estate searching for the cursed head.

I finally reached the double adjoining doors and barged in not caring enough to knock.

He sat by the window watching rain begin to fall from the sky, the canary perched on his index finger flew out into the oncoming storm.

"And to think, cats are usually weak and lethargic on a rainy day. You however decided it would be ok to come here uninvited...The weather must affect what you call a brain." Akito chuckled turning to face me with that sinister grin rivaling those children see in their nightmares.

"What the hell did you do to Tohru?" I snarled my anger not wavering in the slightest despite the irritating weather.

"Im afraid you have forgotten who you are speaking to. You of all... _Beasts_ , have no business speaking to me in such a way. You're nothing but a worthless monster...Why do you think your mother hung herself? Why else would you Father beat you? Why are you not part of the family? You don't belong, and as far as anyone is concerned neither does that Tohru girl."

All of his words hurt, they only reopened old wounds and they stung just as much as they first did. No matter what he said I didn't allow him to have the sick satisfaction of knowing he could get to me...Not this time.

Without thinking I advanced and snatched him off the ground by the collar of his kimono. I stared into his black, dead, dismissible eyes. No matter how haunting they appeared I held my ground.

"You can do whatever you want with me as long as you never touch Tohru again...Lock me up in the Cat's room, I don't care as long as she's safe." Akito smirked and chortled.

"Or I can lock you up and do as I wish with her. She tastes... exquisite, and the feel of her skin...Like silk. I'll enjoy her." That was the straw that broke the camel- er, cat's back.

Without hesitation I carelessly flung Akito across the room and he hit the wall and dropped to the floor. I crossed the room and kicked him in the ribs, he was sick and weak...

My foot hovered over his throat. It would be all too simple to kill him. Except I wouldn't. If I did, I would only be just as much as a monster as he is.

I backed away and started towards the door, a quiet voice stopped me. "Get out of my sight. I won't see you on these grounds any longer."

I gladly found my way out, not wanting to be in the main house any longer than I needed to. I assumed he would leave us alone for the time being...But I don't know how long that will last.

* * *

I bit my lip nervously awaiting Kyo to come back. He was gone for over two hours and I grew more worried with each passing minute.

Fortunately I had Rin and Kagura to keep me company in the meantime. We were all sitting on the floor of Rin's room drinking tea.

"Oh my Kyo! I hope he's alright!" Kagura cried and Rin simply rolled her eyes.

"You already know he's dating Tohru. Jeez." The boar crossed her arms in turned away in a huff.

"Have you two...Y'know..." I cocked my head curiously wondering what she meant. Izu sighed exasperatedly as if knowing I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Sex. Yes or no?"

Kagura and I both gasped at Izu-chan's direct question. I felt my face heat up with embarassment. I had never talked about this with anyone, not even Hana or Uo.

"Y-Yes." I squeaked hiding my face in my hands once again. Izu looked impressed, Kagura on the other hand looked as if she were about to blow a gasket.

She stomped out of the room angrily and Izu turned towards me. "She'll get over it...Maybe. Do you need any help with that or is Kyo training you." She snorted and my face became a deeper shade of red.

"I...Uh." She sighed once again and stretched. "Did you enjoy it?"

I stared down at the floor and gripped the tea cup ensuring I wouldn't drop it. Unable to say anything I nodded.

"Have you tried anything like...Ice cubes, bondage, cosplay? Y'know kinky sex."

I now knew why she fit perfectly with Haru. How straightforward the both were. I nearly fell forward at the question. Thankfully I didn't have to answer because Kyo fell through the door with Kagura latched onto his waist.

"Where have you been? You haven't done anything stupid have you? Since when did you think I gave you my blessing to date Tohru?!"

"It has nothing to do with you woman! Get off!" Kyo screeched trying to shake the girl off of him, all the while I tried to stop it before anyone got hurt...

By the time Kyo and I were on our way home the sky was a mixture of purple and orange, the backdrop for the setting sun.

We walked in silence until we reached Shigure's. The only words Kyo spoke were, "My room after dinner." And he left to go take a shower. I was about to begin on dinner when Momiji ran towards me.

"Tohruuu!" He embraced me and with a puff of yellow smoke, he was replaced with a bunny.

* * *

I heard a commotion coming from downstairs but decided to ignore it knowing it was for Tohru.

I turned the knobs and waited before stepping under the shower head to be be swept under a blanket of warm water.

My anger seeped out of me and down the drain along with the rest of the dirt and grime I had been covered in. I felt exhausted and wanted to do nothing more than curl up on the roof soaking up the last bit of sunlight before it was replaced with the moon.

Tohru and I needed to talk though and I didn't want to feel disgusting when I did so.

I towel dried my hair shortly after changing into black sweats and a plain black and grey shirt. My stomach growled harshly reminding me I needed food, or at least my regular fill of milk.

I stumbled into the kitchen tiredly and swiped the half empty bottle of milk sitting on the top shelf of the fridge. I gulped it down greedily until there was nothing left, it soothed me greatly and I was left desiring more.

I made my way into the dining room where Tohru, the mutt, the rat, Haru, Ayame, the irritating rabbit, Hatori, Ritsu, Kisa and Hiro sat.

I found my place across from the rat and next to Tohru with the thought of eating in peace. I was horribly mistaken.

"Glad to see you join us lucky Kyo!" Ayame giggled making the urge to punch him through the wall increase.

"Shut...Up." I gritted out my left eye beginning to twitch as I angrily shoveled food into my mouth as quickly as possible.

"Why the hell are we even here anyways?" Hiro growled resulting in Haru slapping him upside the head.

"Watch your language Hiro." Hatori berated and pressed the butt of his cigarette to his palm squashing the fire out.

"Um...Sissy, can I help you clean up after dinner?" Kisa shifted in her seat nervously before Tohru pulled her into a hug.

"Aw you're so cute! Of course you can."

"I was thinking we could all leave for the hot springs Friday after school. Who wants to come?" Momiji bounced in his chair.

Yuki, Haru, and Tohru agreed to go, Haru and Yuki said if they're going then I had to which didn't make any sense.

"Whatever."

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen: Harsh Reality**

By the time it was ten pm everyone else had cleared out and Kyo was now stomping upstairs to his room.

"The fucking snake! Damn mutt! Stupid Rabbit!" Kyo screeched in time with his stomps and he finally reached his room, slamming the door shut.

He collapsed onto the bed and glared up at the ceiling furiously. He couldn't put into words how thankful he was to be left in peace and quiet. His plans to torture them were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Growling he shot up and flung the door open.

"What?!" He looked down and his crimson orbs grew large at the sight of Tohru standing in his doorway. He had forgotten he told her to come up.

He stepped aside for her to enter and locked the door behind him not wanting the rat or dog to bother him.

Kyo flopped down on the bed and folded his arms behind his head tiredly.

Tohru was debating on whether to sit by him or continue standing there. Kyo appeared quite intimidating and she didn't know what to do. Reaching a compromise she sat on the floor in the middle of the room.

Kyo glanced down with a sigh and sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry if I bothered you. You seemed upset at dinner and I didn't want to annoy you-"

He held up a hand to stop her.

"It had nothin to do with you...Argh! Its just, things suck right now even more than usual...I'm just tired of it all. Sometimes...Never mind it'll sound stupid."

"No its ok, you can tell me. Please Kyo?" Tohru crossed her heart that she wouldn't tell anyone as if it were some highly guarded secret.

"...Sometimes I think about giving up. Everything they say about the cat is true...And you almost got hurt cause of me. I don't want to risk that happening again."

He leaned forward resting his chin on his hand and Tohru thought about what he said before it sunk in.

"We shouldn't be together...Right?" Kyo blew a breath and leaned back glaring at the ceiling once more.

"I think...We need to find a way for us to be together...Till then, we gotta act like we are friends and nothing more. I couldn't- if you got hurt-"

He rose from the floor to stare out the window and hide the devastated expression on his face. He had to be strong for her... Tohru pressed her face to her hands and cried.

After a few minutes she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace.

"Can we be together at night? We were together for a year without Akito-sama knowing. Please Kyo." She sobbed into his shirt soaking it with her tears.

He lied down on the bed and had Tohru follow, he held her until her sobs became quiet sniffs. Kyo stroked her hair continuing to soothe her and they both felt sleep calling them.

"Kyo...What do you want to do...After highschool I mean?" Tohru yawned and Kyo's eyes popped open. He couldn't tell her he was to end up in the Cat's room. She would most likely realize this eventually but he didn't want to talk about that right now.

"I guess I'd wanna run the Dojo with Sensei. What would you like to do?"

Tohru snuggled up to him and buried her face into his chest, feeling the tendrils of sleep already beginning to pull her down.

"...Culinary school..." Was the sleepy reply before he heard the steady breathing. He lied there like that for a long time before the corners of his lips turned upward ever so slightly.

* * *

The next day was Monday and so that meant school.

During breakfast Kyo and Tohru acted as if they were never together. Kyo was brash and complaining whereas Tohru catered to Shigure's incessant whining and a half asleep Yuki all the while attempting to prepare food for all of them.

At school Kyo avoided Tohru like the plaque. He hated to admit it but everytime he caught sight of Tohru it was a stab to the chest. It reminded him of the time Tohru had moved out to live with her grandpa, aunt, and cousins. He despised the mere thought of being without Tohru without realizing it himself.

Now he was painfully aware of her not being with him, making what was already a living hell even worse for him.

Kyo didn't know but it hurt the fact that he blatantly ignored her when she waved to him in the halls or tried to strike up conversation.

She missed talking to him and he had said they would be friends. Now she wasn't so sure he meant that.

By the time lunch rolled around, Tohru scanned the grassy lunch area for the familiar orange hair and crimson eyes. He was nowhere in sight.

Unable to handle it any longer she decided to head up to the roof where she assumed he would be like the first time. Surely enough he was there arms crossed behind his head watching the clouds drift across the otherwise light blue bright sky.

Once the brunette came into view he jumped instantly startled by her presence.

"What the hell? Tohru why are you up here?" That hurt.

"I uh- you...I tried saying hi to you but you didn't answer. I guess I wanted to know if you were ok." Tohru nervously stared down at her feet. She wanted him to hold her, tell her everything will be ok like he did the day of the fair. What happened to that Kyo?

"Not a good idea for us to talk at school. Haru or Momiji might get the wrong idea we're still dating and blab off to someone within the main house." Kyo explained irritably. He hated not being able to touch Tohru unless it was after dinner in the safety of his room. It sucked- no it beyond sucked. It was like they were back to square one.

"Oh. Well I will see you at home?" Tohru left before he could answer. Her eyes stung with tears but she swiped at them willing herself not to break down. _I'll just have to work harder!_

* * *

It had been the most awkward and silent dinner to ever take place at Shigure's. Tohru was spaced out, Yuki had his nose in a book having finished his portion already, Kyo was playing with his food and sighing every few seconds all the while Shigure's eyes darted between his housemates like he was watching a tennis match.

"My, my what is wrong with you all? You should be out causing mischeif, having fun. Why are you moping at the table? It is becoming far too much to bare!" Shigure fanned himself resulting in Yuki whacking him on the head with his book before heading upstairs closing the door to his room behind him.

"That hurt!" He yelled and the front door slammed open, it was his editor once again looking as if she were contemplating suicide.

"Shigure get your ass in your study and work on your manuscript! Or I will ensure you turn up missing!" She cackled snapping rope they hadn't noticed in her hands.

"Why must you be so cruel?" Shigure whimpered before being dragged along once again the door closing with a thud.

Tohru rose from the table to wash dishes and Kyo silently offered to help dry them. Once the two finished they wordlessly left to Kyo's room and lied next to one another just like last night in eachother's arms.

"Is it always going to be like this?" Tohru sniffled and Kyo placed a light kiss on her forehead.

"I don't know."

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen: Hot Springs Retreat**

Tohru shoved the last bit of clothes and her toothbrush into the stuffed suitcase. It wouldn't close so she ended up having to hop up and down on it and Kyo stepped in just in time to help her click the latches.

"You could have asked someone ya know?" The hotheaded boy sighed rubbing the back of his neck. Tohru stood in front of him and joined their hands together.

"Do you think...I could spend time with Kyo this weekend?" Kyo opened his mouth to protest before staring back into those large eyes of hers. He could feel himself caving, "Argh fine! But we gotta be careful." Tohru squealed and flung her arms around his neck, pulling him close.

They stood like this for a few moments before Yuki appeared in the doorway, arms folded.

"Miss Honda, you can load your luggage into the car now. Hatori arrived just moments ago." Tohru smiled and nodded reluctantly pulling away from Kyo and grabbing her suitcase.

Just as she ran out of the room Kyo's face turned red catching sight of a black lace bra, precariously hanging out of the suitcase.

"You can leave no-" Yuki closed the door before Kyo could finish his sentence and Yuki glared daggers.

"I hope you know what you are doing cat. As soon as Akito-"

"He already does, mind your own damn business. Sheesh." Yuki's eyes widened in dismay at the statement.

"Knowing that you're willing to put my sister- Miss Honda in danger. You really are a stupid cat...I hope you know what you're doing and what could happen if this continues." And with his final two cents, Yuki left shutting the door tightly behind him.

Kyo flopped back on to his bed and covered his eyes with his arm in irritation. "Don't you think I know that?"

* * *

Haru, Momiji, Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Hatori, and Shigure set off to the Hot Springs. The two adults weren't originally going but Hatori decided they needed at least one chaperon, little did he know those words came back to bite him and he became one of the adult supervisors for the trip.

Once they arrived they were greeted by Ritsu's weary old Mother. She swiped a strand of hair out of her face and smiled weakly.

"Welcome to the Hot Springs Young Masters and Young Madam. I made arrangements so you can all be settled in immediately."

"What if I don't wanna room with them?" Kyo argued stubbornly and the woman broke out into one of her episodes.

"I KNOW YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO ROOM YOU WITH THE YOUNG MADAM! THAT WOULD BE FAR TOO INDECENT, AND INCONVIENENT SINCE I HAVE ALREADY SET UP THE ROOMS. THAT BETTER NOT BE YOUR SUGGESTION!" Kyo held his hands out to stop the frantic lady.

"I'm sorry. But if you think I am going to change the room arrangements even for young masters, you are sadly mistaken. Let me show you to your quarters."

* * *

Much to Kyo's annoyance he was put with Momiji, Haru with Yuki, Hatori and Shigure, Tohru had a room to herself.

By six pm, they were all seated at the table watching the plates of food arrive. Tohru had first pick and stuck her fork into an arrangement of pork and eggs and smiled happily.

"This is so well prepared, nothing I make compares to this." Tohru happily helped herself and Momiji shook his head in disagreement.

"The food here is pretty good, but your food is much better Tohru." Haru grunted in agreement.

"Oh I don't know about that."

"We should play Ping-Pong!" Momiji cheered standing up in his seat.

Kyo sighed and pushed away from the table and stepped out into the cool of the night. Tohru exchanged worried glances with Momiji before excusing herself and following him.

Hatori dabbed the corners of his mouth with disdain of the words he was about to say. "I didn't want to say anything but Akito knows the two were together. From what I have been able to find, things are not looking well for either one of them."

Shigure pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. "Oh young love! Between two star crossed lovers, wedged apart by a family rule. How tragic!"

Yuki bonked the dog on the head before continuing to eat in silence.

* * *

Kyo leant over the railing as the wind whipped his orange hair around wildly. He gazed up at the moon with clenched fists and gritted teeth trying to keep his temper in check, Tohru walked up behind him and placed a hand over his.

"Kyo...?" He was still for so long Tohru was beginning to freak out. Suddenly he turned towards her, his red eyes filled with longing and desperation. Not being able to take it he grabbed her by the shoulders and pressed his lips to hers roughly. Neither of them broke apart until they needed air, unable to handle the burning sensation in their lungs much longer.

"Sorry...I'm sorry Tohru...I'm sorry..." Tohru took on a puzzled expression, she had no idea why he was apologizing over and over.

"...I'm selfish. I want you all to myself no matter what that bastard says." He sighed once more before glancing back up at the night sky.

"So...I'm letting you go." Tohru's eyes shone with tears, as she took a step forward he took one step back.

"K-Kyo-kun promised we could still be together...I won't let Akito-sama stop me this time. I love Kyo no matter what!" With each statement Tohru''s voice grew stronger and with each consonant she became more sure of herself. She closed the distance between the two of them before kissing Kyo softly on the lips.

She stopped to see his reaction, and much to her surprise he yanked her forward and sloppily pressed their lips together yet again but this time with more fire.

"What do you...Say...We...Go to bed...Early." Kyo gasped between kisses and lifted Tohru up carrying her bridal style, she nuzzled the crook of his neck silently before nodding.

And that night the two were together. No one else mattered in that moment. Not the housemates, not the people at school, not even Akito. It was just them. And that was all they needed.

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen: Does Light Overcome Darkness?**

The weekend passed in a blur. Kyo and Tohru spent the days as if attached at the hip, the two never wanting to part from one another.

The last night at the resort, Tohru had already drifted off to sleep but Kyo could not. He had this ever growing, crushing feeling that something terrible was about to happen. Maybe it was the disapproving glances from Hatori, or maybe flashbacks to his unannounced meeting with Akito...Either way his breathing became shallow and his heart rate quickened as thoughts raced throughout his mind of the lengths Akito might go to.

Tears welled up in his eyes, he attempted blinking them away. Tears clung to his eyelashes as he turned to look at the girl beside him. She seemed so comfortable with him, and assured he could protect her by any means necessary. He swallowed the lump in his throat, he couldn't stand the thought of losing the best thing that ever happened to him...His achiles heel.

Tohru snuggled up to him more and wrapped a leg around his hip trying to become as warm and as close to him as possible. Kyo sighed and rested his chin on the top of his girlfriend's head. What would become of them? And what had he started?

* * *

It was midweek and no word from the main house. Kyo had allowed his guard to slip for that reason. And just when he had Tohru had been summoned that evening Kyo and Tohru got home after he picked her up after work.

"What?! He can't fucking do that!" Kyo screeched, both Yuki and Shigure held him back as Hatori lead Tohru to the car.

"Unfortunately he can...Akito has control over all of us, we can't do anything about it." Yuki muttered defeatedly and Kyo snarled.

"How could you just give up on your sister like that? What the hell is wrong with you, you selfish rat! Thats why you never make any friends and you will always be alone." Yuki let go in shock and Kyo stomped up the stairs, and slammed the door shut causing the house to rattle.

Shigure patted Yuki on the shoulder before disappearing into his study, offering no words of consolation to either party. He knew what was to happen, and it was inevitable.

Yuki slumped to his knees and cast his gaze onto the ground unseeing, eyes wide. He trembled as the words the cat uttered echoed in his head. He knew Kyo was just directing his anger on someone other than himself but he couldn't help but feel the words he had spoken rang true. Yuki always wondered why the only way he had people like him was to build this facade. This wasn't the real Yuki, oh no. It was another person entirely. He really did not enjoy all the attention from everyone, he preferred to have a small group of real companions. Not those that only liked him for the person he pretended to be...

The only person he could be himself around was Tohru. But if she was gone...Who would he have then?

* * *

Black waves danced across my vision as fury swirled up inside, the anger I felt before was nothing compared to this. I knew I was ten times worse than black Haru and Kagura combined, I couldn't control myself...

Somehow I managed to knock the dresser into the window, a sick satisfaction filled me listening to the sweet sound of shattering glass. I started hurling things around the room trying to break things, this felt kinda good. I stepped back to observe my work but I was left feeling unsatisfied. I collapsed to the ground, a shard of glass scraped across my palm but I ignored it. Hot tears dripped to the floor, mixing with the blood seeping out from the wound in my hand.

I sighed slid my eyes shut willing the physical and emotional pain to subside...It wouldn't.

* * *

Tohru was directed to enter Akito's room and Hatori followed shutting the door behind them. They all kneeled before Akito awaiting her punishment.

"Tohru, did I or did I not warn you about the filthy, putrid cat?" She nodded slowly and a deep, low chuckle rumbled in his throat.

"Do you wish to remember the Sohmas?" Came the simple question. Tohru nodded frantically and the smile disappeared from his face.

"We will see if you still feel the same after I'm through with you. Oh, and Hatori? You shall not interfere."

Hatori clenched his fists on his lap before bowing his head.

"Very well." Aktio crossed over to Tohru and repeated his ministrations from their forest rendevoux. He yanked her shirt off her shoulders and bit down hard enough to break skin and draw blood. He lapped up the red substance with his tongue and smirked.

"Your taste displeases me." He gritted out before ripping her skirt off and chuckled listening to her whimper.

"Akito-sama...Please." Tohru cried and Akito pulled back.

"Do you wish to remember the Sohmas? Yes...Or no?"

Tohru shook but she managed to say in a soft voice, "...Y-Yes."

Akito removed the rest of her clothes and lifted her up, and wrapped her legs around his waist promptly after his own robe dropped to the floor.

He whispered one final thing in her ear, "When I'm done with you, you'll wish you said no." He said this just before he entered her.

* * *

Kyo woke up around 1am, his hand dripping with dark red blood pooling around him. The door creaked open and Shigure peeked inside, Yuki stood behind him.

He flipped the switch on and gasped dramatically at the sight.

"Kyoooo you wrecked my house-" Catching sight of the wounded cat his voice caught in the back of his throat. "Yuki do you know first aid? Run down the hall and get the gauze, bandages, needle, and thread for me will you?" Yuki nodded and darted off and Shigure kneeled in front of Kyo staring back at the dog through bleary eyes.

He picked up Kyo's hand and turned it over thoroughly examining it, he noticed another shard of glass that appeared lodged into his palm. Without warning he yanked out the piece of glass resulting in a deafening howl.

"Why don't you I don't know, tell me next time ya damn mutt!" Shigure sighed exasperatedly. At least Kyo sounded like himself.

"What have you done to yourself?" Before he had time to answer Yuki arrived and reached for Kyo's hand. Yuki directed Shigure to dip one of the towels into the bowl of water he brought. Shigure did as told and Yuki wiped all the blood off Kyo's hand before pulling epsom salt into the bowl. He submerged the wouned hand into the bowl all the while preparing the needle and thread.

After ten minutes Yuki lifted Kyo's hand out of the now red water and told Shigure to stuff another towel into the cat's mouth as a makeshift gag.

"Painkillers don't work quickly enough so this is going to hurt." Kyo rolled his eyes and nodded as if telling him to proceed. Yuki braced himself before beginning the stitching on his hand. Kyo groaned around the gag in his mouth but tried to keep it together long enough for him to finish. He wondered why Yuki was so willing to do this, and why he allowed it. But honestly right now he was too worn out to care.

Afterwards Yuki applied antisteptic and wrapped his hand in a thick bandage.

"Hatori said he is on the way." Shigure explained avoiding meeting either boys' gaze.

"What about Tohru?" Kyo demanded slamming his other fist into the ground.

"She is staying at her Grandfathers...As of today, Tohru doesn't remember anything that happened after her living in the tent."

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen: Numb**

In that single moment time stood still. No it couldn't be, Shigure was just fucking with him right? He was going to turn back around and laugh in his face for taking the dog so seriously...Although Kyo knew this wasn't so...That was wishful thinking.

* * *

I rose from the floor and left the room, left the house...I ignored everyone who made attempts to talk to me, I don't even remember the moon rising and the sun setting as I made my way around town. Once I arrived at her Grandpa's home I rapped on the door until...She opened the door.

Looking at her fueled my anger, she looked to be in more pain than a human should be able to take. Her hand was wrapped up in a bandage, her crutches went along with the cast her arm had been wrapped up with, she had dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept in days, her swollen right eye was a deep purple.

"Um, hello sir. Are you lost?" Tohru croaked. Those words hurt more than I thought they would. I had hoped Shigure had been lying and I wanted- needed to see her for myself. Everything Tohru and me had been through she forgot...

I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces, I never thought this to be possible...To nearly die of a broken heart. I choked on my sobs for disappearing into the night. I ran and ran, no matter how badly my lungs burned. I ran, even though I heard concerned voices calling after me. I ran, as if the Tohru I knew would chase after me...But she didn't. And with that realization I stopped and fell to the ground, when rain began pouring down on me I didn't complain...I hated everything, and I knew there was nothing I could do. Nothing to vent my frustration and devastation on...I felt empty. I lied there until I allowed sleep to claim me. And damn I hope I never wake up.

* * *

It was odd the boy ran off shortly after knocking. He looked so...Sad. I wanted to ask if he would come in but he left before I had the chance. I felt some sort of kinship with him even though I had never met him. Mom I must sound pretty crazy huh?

I had hoped to finish preparing for bed because of school in the morning when I felt my stomach churn. A wave of nausea hit me, I clamped a hand over my mouth and darted off to the bathroom. I doubled over and threw up. The burning sensation in my throat wasn't that great, I brushed my teeth and made a mental note to buy a new tooth brush.

Thankfully the nausea didn't come back, but as I buttoned up my night shirt I began to wonder what had caused it. The food my aunt made was delicious and not in the slightest undercooked. I didn't know what had caused it but I hoped it wouldn't return.

Sadly it did come back and after two weeks of it I decided to make a trip to the doctor. I was really scared at this point, my period was over a month late and I've been throwing up every morning. (When Tohru had her memory she believed it to just be irregular.)

"Honda, Tohru." The nurse called and I followed her down the narrow hallway to the OB-GYN patient room.

The doctor shook her hand and directed her to sit on the examination table.

"What seems to be the problem?" Dr Natsuya asked.

I didn't realize how mortifying it was to tell a Man about this...

"Well...I- uh...I have been throwing up every morning...And I, I haven't had my um..."

"Period." He supplied much to my relief.

"Yes, I haven't in awhile. For awhile..."

"Are you sexually active?" I quickly shook my head no. I didn't have a boyfriend and when I did...We never did...that. (A/N: She's referring to Hikaru)

"Ok well I'm going to check to be on the safe side. You were told to drink copious amounts of water for the examination. You did I hope." I nodded but was still confused as to why.

He led me to a separate room, the lights were dim and there was a large screen, a lot of monitors next to the examination table. He had me lie down and left my shirt up so that he could apply warm gel to my stomach. He moved the wand over my stomach and I glanced up at the screen. I squinted my eyes at the image...It...That couldn't be right.

"Theres the head...And-" he moved the wand to the left. "That sound you hear is the heartbeat." I froze hearing his words. I didn't know how this could be, I never did more than kiss Hikaru. I was so confused. I began to panic as several things came to mind. How was I going to finish highschool like I promised? How was I to care for a baby when I can't take care of myself.

"You're having a baby boy- Miss Honda are you feeling alright?" I paled and couldn't say anything. I fainted.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty: Forget Me**

Kyo lied down on the floor of his room as he watched the rain drops patter against the windowpane, it only fueled the imminent depression. His chest ached, his head was pounding, he felt like hurling he was so miserable.

The rapping on his door caused him to perk up slightly.

"Tohru?" He jumped up and flung the door open only to be disappointed with the sight of Haru. Kyo sighed and crawled into his bed, pulling the covers over his face.

"I didn't know I looked like your girlfriend." Haru deadpanned before sitting down on the end of the bed.

"Get...Out." Came the muffled order.

Haru cupped his ear, "What?"

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" Kyo screeched from under the covers. Haru's eyes widened slightly in surprise before he ripped the cover back and onto the floor.

Kyo shot up, he was too lethargic and tired to fight. Haru had the upper hand.

The cow leaned over Kyo and stared him dead in the eyes.

"What. Happened?"

Kyo glared angrily at his shivering bare legs before meeting the Cow's persistent gaze. Finally he flopped back down and searched the recesses of his mind for an explanation.

"My own girlfriend doesn't know who I am, and someone beat the shit out of her..." Haru's eyes shifted to a darker shade of grey. He rested his elbows on his knees as he processed this.

"So...Hatori?" Kyo nodded.

"And Akito must have...That fucking bastard!" Kyo shrugged defeatedly and anger boiled inside of Haru.

"Why don't you get back at the son of a bitch then? Or at least go find out what the hell happened? Look Kyo, we're friends and I don't want my friend to miss out on the most beautiful thing life can offer. Love, whether it be your first or last...Everything about it is beautiful, perfect imperfections. It looks to be beyond repair now, but don't give up...She wouldn't give up on you."

* * *

Tohru came to after thirty minutes and had awaken to the sight of a couple if nurses fanning her.

"My, my. Girl you cannot pass out out of nowhere, you gave the doctor quite a fright." One of the nurses clucked disapprovingly.

Tohru nodded in compliance not wanting to come off as rude. She began her trip home in silence, still recovering from shock.

On the walk home she ended up taking a wrong turn somewhere and wound up in the depths of a forest. It seemed like there was no civilization anywhere nearby until she stumbled upon a house.

Haru, Kyo, and Momiji all sat out on the porch. At the sound of her footsteps they glanced up.

Kyo's heart hammered in his chest as if it were trying to escape. For a fleeting moment he saw brief recognition flicker across her face, then gone in an instance. He wondered if he simply imagined the entire exchange, he was hallucinating a lot lately.

"Tohruuuu!" Momiji yelled excitedly and bounced over to Tohru.

"Wait damn rabbit!" Unfortunately Kyo was too late and Momiji latched onto Tohru's waist causing him to transform.

Tohru shook her head and coughed as she fanned the yellow colored smoke away. Once it cleared a bunny sat on her knees all the while Tohru was sprawled out onto the ground.

"AHHH y-you t-t-t-turned into a rabbit! But thats not- how is that possible?!" Tohru shot up in a panic.

Haru and Kyo exchanged a glance, the cow nodded to reassure him and Kyo walked over until he stood directly in front of his girlfriend.

He grabbed Momiji from her and handed him off to Haru, the two disappeared into the house leaving Tohru and Kyo alone.

"Um...I don't understand. I've...I've seen this happen in a dream I think." Tohru scratched her head and Kyo felt his chest flutter with hope.

"I wouldn't want to impose but could I sit down somewhere, I feel a little bit tired." She hated to complain especially to a stranger but she knew she needed to rest because she was pregnant. She wondered why the boy hadn't said anything yet.

Kyo ducked his head down and grabbed ahold of her hand and lead her into the house and to her old room and shut the door behind them.

He leaned against the door as he watched her take in her former room.

* * *

I didn't understand why he lead me up to a girl's room. His sister's maybe...?

Looking around I took in the cream colored walls and the queen size bed that took center stage in the room. I ran my hand along the comforter, something felt distantly familiar about it. The more I felt the material and looked it over, the more my head pounded.

I sat down on the bed, black swirl before my vision and the room was slowly tilting. I felt...Dizzy...

"Tohru!" Kyo shouted just before I blacked out.

* * *

Not once did I leave her side. Not once did I let go of her, I didn't dare look away for a second. As soon as Tohru passed out onto the bed I called for Haru who called for Shigure, and he contacted Hatori. I was desperate to know what the hell was going on.

Hatori asked me to leave so that he could fully examine her, but I told him he could do it with me sitting right here.

He checked her medical records for an explanation for her fainting spell and found she went to the doctor this afternoon...

Tohru...My Tohru was pregnant, and the results would forever change our relationship as we once knew it.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-One: My Father...**

Hatori stepped into the room and placed a hand on Kyo's shoulder.

"What exactly do you plan to do?...Tell Akito?" Kyo said softly over his shoulder.

Hatori cleared his throat and nodded.

"Yeah ya have to right? You've always been his Lackey…So why would now be any different?"

Hatori flinched at this statement and began to leave when Kyo stopped him.

"Why did she faint? Was it because I brought her here?"

"…Most likely yes…When one is overwhelmed with something that causes suppressed memories to come to surface…It can be too much for that person to handle all at once. It acts as if it is Mass Rehearsal in reverse…Too many things being retrieved at a time."

Kyo ran a thumb over Tohru's hand and he gripped the other tightly. "Is there any chance she will remember?"

"…I've never been around to see it happen but I would not allow myself to get my hopes up." Hatori closed the door behind him leaving Kyo and Tohru to themselves.

Kyo watched the rise and fall of Tohru's chest and swiped a tear out of the corner of his eye.

"So uh…I was thinking of some names for your son…I know the kid isn't mine but...If you let me I'd help you...And I wanted to know what you thought of Kaiko?...Of course I know you're not awake yet but…I feel you can understand. Damn I sound like a wuss. I just…In all the time that I've known you, you began changing me. I love you. Please wake up soon…Space cadet," Kyo lightly tapped her on the nose and nearly jumped in surprise seeing her eyes flutter open.

She blinked a few times to clear her blurry vision before reaching out to cup his cheek.

"K-Kyo-kun?"

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Two: Mistake**

Weeks had passed and Tohru still felt lost about some things, there were black areas where she had no recollection of anything but Kyo still stuck by her. Yuki, Saki, Arisa, Haru, and Momiji did everything they could to help her since she had done so much for all of them.

Word spread like wildfire about Tohru's pregnancy throughout the Sohma family. Eventually what most people assumed were rumors around school became reality once she had begun to show. It wasn't long before Akito was informed by Hatori of the news.

Akito stroked his chin in deep thought silently devising a plan. His face stretched into a grin once the plan formulated and he ordered one of his servants to draw a bath as he would be heading out shortly. He was going to have a little talk with the Cat and discuss the lovely news with him.

Around seven at night Tohru began preparing a meal for her housemates. She decided on Miso Soup and leek soup much to Kyo's disdain.

"Stupid cat you should learn to be appreciative and grateful Miss Honda is even making something for you." Yuki pinched the bridge of his nose and Kyo slammed his fist on the table rattling the plates.

"You are in no position to be giving me advice girly boy! You can't even call your sister by her name. She probably thinks you aren't glad she is your sister."

Yuki wanted to retort something back or use Kyo's face for target practice when he realized what he had said was true. Yuki slumped forward, his hands on his knees, fists clenched.

"I apologize…T-Tohru. I can admit I was disappointed in the past but because of my feelings for you. In no way do I resent knowing the truth now that I have begun to accept you are with who you wish and you will always be my sister. I apologize if you thought differently."

Tohru stopped in her tracks before crossing over and sitting in front of Yuki. She placed a hand on his shoulder beckoning him to look up at her.

"I believe you aren't upset anymore. I am glad to know you as a brother and I love you Yuki." She pulled him into a hug and was rewarded with the familiar poof and purple smoke that accompanied it. Tohru hugged Yuki to her chest in rat form and Kyo growled.

Shigure made his entrance and glanced between the hugging teens and the irritated neko. Shrugging he found his place at the table and the thought occurred to him.

"Hey Tohru…Did you ever inform Aya of the news? Does he know the lovely flower is his sister?"

Kyo cocked his head curiously and Tohru stared down at the ground nervously before setting Yuki beside her. She tapped her forefingers together before responding. "Uh…I didn't get..Around to it…Yet. Heheh." Even Kyo was shocked at this.

"I thought that damn mutt would've told Ayame. Hell I thought he'd be one of the first to know."

Shigure hid his smile behind the sleeve of his kimono.

"Well Aya and I have been to wrapped up in eachother to discuss such serious matters."

Yuki popped back and quickly changed before glaring directly at Shigue.

"Don't. Say. A. Word. If that…Brother of mine ever catches wind of this he will never leave Tohru alone." Shigure stared back into the angry purple eyes and the slightly amused and plotting red ones belonging to the neko, and then back to the bright anxious blue of Tohru's before deciding.

"Ok I will not say anything but he will find out eventually…He always does." Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Yuki rose from the floor to answer it.

"That better not be a surprise visit from that treacherous snake-" all words died on his lips as he stood before the man that had spent the majority of Yuki's childhood as a form of expressing his anger with no restraint.

"Hello Yuki, it has been far too long. I know you are disappointed but I am not here for you today. I am here for Kyo…I think we have some things to discuss."

* * *

 **Chapter 23: The Truth**

Akito lead Kyo down a narrow pathway just outside of the forest. Trees towered above, shadows of the crooked branches partially hid Akito's face. Kyo couldn't mistake the sly smile he now adorned.

"So I hear Tohru is pregnant." If it were anyone else it would seem congratulatory, but when it came to Akito there was imminent teasing in his voice. Kyo bowed his head and clenched his fists as an attempt to restrain himself. If he lashed out in response, something far worse could happen to Tohru. This is what willed him to keep his mouth shut.

Akito circled the neko looking him up and down, his face contorting into a mixture of anger and disgust at the lack of reaction from the cat.

"Its a shame that she will be giving birth to something from a monster." Kyo's eyebrows knitted together at this statement. What was Akito talking about?

"Oh Hatori didn't tell you? You're the father not me. He made a split decision on whether to tell you or not and new I would be pleased with this decision." Kyo's movements still and even though he was out in the open night air, it suddenly felt like all the oxygen escaped him. Kyo dropped to his haunches trying to regain his balance. _Hatori lied to him? Akito wasn't the father? He was?_

These questions swirled in his head like a cyclone, the realization resulted in a dull headache.

"You must be wondering why I would tell a _thing_ like you the truth. Its simple really, Tohru can't ever and will never know or I will assure you what I did to Tohru is nothing compared to what I could do." And with the malice laced words still hanging in the air, Akito made his exit leaving a confused, frustrated, and frightened cat in his wake.

* * *

Shigure's fingers seemed to move on their own as they dialed the comforting and familiar number he knew by heart. After two rings the voice he always enjoyed to hear, crackled to life.

"Gure' I was beginning to worry you wouldn't call it has been ages." Ayame stated sulkily and Shigure chuckled.

"Oh Aya I know I've been tied up with matters here. Akito is here talking to Kyo...But thats not what I wanted to talk about. I have some very important news."

He could practically feel Ayame beaming on the other line. "Ooh do tell and don't leave a single detail out."

* * *

Later that evening Tohru had headed upstairs to her bedroom and closed the door tightly behind her. She glanced around the room with a slight smile. She didn't know why but the room felt...Empty. Maybe it was her boyfriend's absence. She really missed the nights she spent with Kyo. Now that she had nearly regained her memory, she was painfully aware of the rift and empty spaces when Kyo wasn't there.

She buttoned up her nightshirt still deep in thought. Should she be bold enough and invite Kyo to stay with her? He had been avoiding her ever since he found out she was pregnant not too long ago. She clasped her hands together over her heart. Her stomach churned at the thought of Kyo feeling repulsed by her. She felt she couldn't blame him, after all he and Akito weren't exactly close.

Tohru sighed and climbed into bed after flicking the light switch.

Still, she yearned for Kyo to walk through the door and just pretend not of this happened. As if he heard her thoughts, there was a light rapping on the door.

"Tohru?...Are you awake?" Tohru sighed in relief realizing that her thoughts were ridiculous and Kyo wasn't the type to reject someone like that.

"Y-Yes." The door slid open and closed behind Kyo. He stepped into full view and sat on the end of the bed near Tohru's feet. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead before taking her hand in his.

"Tohru...Would you like to go somewhere with me for awhile?" Tohru openly gaped in surprise before asking about the place he had in mind.

"As far away from here as we can possibly get."

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Four: On The Run**

Tohru quickly shoved as many clothes as possible into a suitcase and glanced around the room for the picture of her mother. Her eyes finally landed on it, and she picked it up with a sad smile.

"Oh Mom, I hope you're not disappointed it me. I promise to find a way to finish highschool on time!...And I will do my best to take care of the baby. But...I feel scared. I love Kyo but what if Akito were to find us any moment. I feel like I'd spend the time looking over my shoulder afraid all the time. I guess I just have to trust Kyo, and everything will be alright. Its like my motto says, 'Never give up!'" Tohru pumped her fist determinedly as she rushed around continuing to pack up the rest of her belongings.

Kyo had been standing outside the door and had heard everything. And he hoped that nothing would go wrong, but he knew that was unlikely.

* * *

The two left the house barely making a sound. But then, Yuki usually wasn't up at this hour and Shigure was typically too wrapped up in reading his novels at this hour. Tohru's heart practically tore in two when their kitten Masami followed them out. She knelt down and stroked the white fur resulting in the familiar purr of the kitten when she scratched behind Masami's ears.

She turned to Kyo, hands clasped together she pleaded, "Oh Kyo, can't she come with us?" Kyo stuffed his hands in his pockets as an attempt to restrain himself from caving, but a few moments of drowning in those blue eyes of hers and Masami was being carried in Tohru's arms shortly after.

Haru was right. He was whipped.

* * *

The three arrived at a cheaper motel as to not draw to much attention, they even went under the fake last name Wasabi. (A/N: Reference to one of my stories for fun lol)

Masami curled up on the end of the king size bed, and Kyo headed into the bathroom for a shower. Tohru unpacked her pajamas as they only planned to stay for the night, and get a train ticket in the morning. She placed the picture of her mother on her nightstand. She knelt down and rest her chin on her arms by the picture.

"I've decided Mom...I want to be with Kyo and I'm ready as I'll ever be. I believe with all my heart we will return one day. And I feel happy." She smiled before climbing into the bed and her eyes blissfully slid close. She succumbed to the sleep she desperately craved.

Kyo stood under the running water of the shower head, he pressed his forehead to the cool tiles and shut his eyes in anguish. _What am I thinking? Akito will find us, and when he does...What about Tohru? What about the baby?_ He slammed his fist into the wall of the shower before stepping out and toweling off.

He had to try...For a better future. For the three of them.

* * *

At the break of dawn, the two left for the train station and caught it just in the nick of time. The train was on a one way trip to Quingdao China where he knew no one would think to look. Tohru rested her head on Kyo's shoulder and leaned into him, he put his arm around her and rested his head atop hers.

"It'll be ok." She nodded.

"I know it will Kyo...You can stil open the dojo and I can still go to cooking school. It will work out."

Kyo simply sighed and said nothing.

* * *

Arriving in Quingdao, the two planned to stay in a hotel until they could secure an apartment. Kyo spent the afternoon enrolling them both in a new highschool with plans for both to graduate early. Shortly afterwards the two ate dinner at a low-key burger joint, the only one in Quingdao.

The next morning Tohru noticed her belly slightly poked out, she blamed it on being bloated but in actuality she was beginning to show. She was still in the early stages and could hide it for a few months at school. But it wouldn't be long before everyone noticed.

Feeling suddenly insecure, Tohru untucked her shirt as an attempt to hide it. Kyo stepped out of the shower, towel drying his hair with a slight smile. His eyes trailed down to where Tohru had now wrapped her arms around her stomach.

"Are you okay? You sick or somethin?" She shook her head fiercely.

"I just uh- I...We should get going or we'll be late." Tohru scampered into the bathroom and Kyo shook his head. Chicks.

* * *

School went over quite well, they both went under their Wasabi aliases and thought they got off scotch free for the time being. How wrong they were. Waiting inside the hotel room was Akito himself. He had lied down on his side, his face towards the door. They didn't miss the malicious grin etched into his features, his hair fell over his darkened eyes.

"The monster actually thought he could escape his punishment. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Guess I'll have to lock you up sooner."

* * *

"What?!" Kyo screeched, fists clenched his eyes darted towards Tohru. Tears were freely falling from her eyes and splattering onto the carpet. She latched onto Kyo and turned towards Akito.

"...N-No. I won't let you..." She said barely above a whisper.

Akito cupped his ear and leaned forward, "What was that wench?"

"I can't...Let you take him Akito." She trembled but pressed forward. "I love Kyo! I can't let you." (Dramatic much)

Akito looked stunned, the dumbfounded expression slowly became condescending. Laughter burbled out of him to the point he held his ribs at the ugly girl's statement. She dared defy him, like her opinion meant anything to him? The laughter and smile disappeared as he called for someone.

Or two someones. Two men draped in black robes, one with a scar over his left eye, the other with a scar over his right stepped in and yanked Kyo away from Tohru.

"Kyo! Akito please!" She fell forward on her knees, quivering with tears and fear. But Akito gestured for them to take Kyo, and he was gone. Akito closed the door behind them and circled Tohru, a hungry expression on his face.

"You clearly haven't learned your place. I think I still need to train you." The memory came hurtling back ten-fold of what Akito did to her. That time...Him slamming into the wall and screwing her until she was numb from all the pain. No matter how many showers she took, nothing could erase how disgusting she felt after it. She bit her lip as tears streamed down her face once more. Akito smirked at the reaction.

"I see you remember. Still wasn't enough was it? I suppose I was too generous. You won't forget again."

He charged at her like a maniac and tackled her to the floor. She felt her breath escape as the wind was knocked out of her upon impact. Akito licked the shell of her ear before trailing down to her collarbone and lapping his tongue there as he once did. She shivered and shut her eyes not willing herself to look at him. She felt a sharp pain and gasped as red liquid trailed from beneath her skirt. Akito froze and glanced down, his face paling at the realization.

* * *

Kyo struggled against the men's grip to no avail. He then made the split minute decision to bash his head into the guy on his left, and kick the other in the groin. The two crumpled to the floor in pain and Kyo rushed back to the hotel room. He was too late. Akito was gone...But so was Tohru.

He ran down the hall and down the stairs leading to the hotel lobby. He hastily slammed his hand down on the bell to get the concierge's attention.

"Yes sir? Look if ya wonderin where the chocolate on ya pillow went, it wasn't me pal." He shook his head frantically and said.

"My girl. Brown hair, blue eyes, black hair guy. Argh! Have you seen the girl I came in with leave?" The woman at the front desk twirled her hair on her index finger, and had a facial expression on her face so stupid he wanted to slap it off her.

"Ummm. Yeah, I did. She like, left her to the hospital on one of those rolling bed thingies." His eyes widened and he darted off in the direction of the hospital nearby. Along the way he couldn't help but wonder how that lady ever got out of highschool, let alone getting hired.

* * *

Akito had disappeared at the first sight of blood, he flung the door open and rushed off. He ignored the threats to call the police on him, he hadn't thought about how loud they must have been. He ran off before they could ask any questions about him.

Finding himself in a town, he stopped to look around for any indication as to where the nearest train station was. He tripped over a manhole cover and sprawled onto the concrete of the road. A horn blared at him but when he glanced up it was a moment too late. The driver jumped out of the car and ran around the front. He knelt before the man lying on the ground and checked his pulse to find it was incredibly faint.

Words of praise tumbled from his lips as he was thankful the man hadn't died. He didn't have insurance to cover it.

* * *

Kyo rushed down the long hallways of the hospital in search of Tohru. Not having ID he had to find her quickly before anyone found him. He looked over each door until he found Honda in gold letters on a sign. The relief he felt had been short lived at the sight of his beloved lying on the hospital bed, she was asleep but it wasn't restful by the looks of it.

He walked over and reached for her hand. A tear slid out of his own eye inviting others to join it, as he knelt down and kissed her hand.

"Tohru? Tohru." She twitched slightly before her eyes opened slowly.

"Kyo." Her voice hoarse as she reached over to caress his cheek.

"Shhh."

She shook her head, tears falling down once more. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Kyo. I'm really sorry."

Kyo's eyebrows drew together in puzzlement. What was she sorry for? And how did she get hurt?

"Kyo...I-I lost the b-b-baby." Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. What?

* * *

A month passed by and Tohru had still felt depression from the miscarriage. The fact she would never even know what the baby would have looked like. She would never hold them, or teach them anything. She wouldn't be able to sing him a lullaby or teach him how to cook. Kyo and Tohru had lost their first son, before they even knew him.

Everyone caught wind of the news and visited her one by one.

Rin and Haru offered their condolences, Kagura and Momiji both hugged Tohru and cried, Hatori bowed respectfully, Ritsu apologized even though he had nothing to be sorry for, Kisa broke down, Hiro consoled her and even he felt a pang of sadness for Tohru, Shigure cracked a joke or two to lighten the mood but otherwise remained silent. Ayame and Yuki were the last to visit.

Yuki had informed Ayame of Tohru being their sister. His first reaction was excitement.

 _"Oh how wonderful! I always knew I saw some of myself in Tohru! Ahaha there was always something so special and different about that girl I just couldn't think of it. Now I have a sister to model all but my attire. Oh the things I could dress her up in, just like my very own doll!" Ayame swung his hair over his shoulder and Yuki rolled his eyes._

 _Ayame was hopeless._

That had been the day Kyo and Tohru left when Ayame had visited Yuki and Shigure. But now, with the tragedy a sad note hung in the air when Ayame and Yuki had stopped by to see Tohru.

The dead look in her eyes, all the light faded the first night of her loss. It was replaced with a look of utter remorse, bitterness and guilt. Kyo looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, that wasn't far off from the truth.

Kyo had left a few moments ago to go to the bathroom and grab a cup of coffee. Ayame stood by the door and Yuki stepped forward with a boquet of red roses. He placed them in the vase by her bedside. Yuki leaned over and kissed Tohru on the head, she flinched at his affection for her. She hadn't allowed anyone to touch her, at the most she allowed Kyo to hold her hand.

He placed something else on the nightstand before leaving, Tohru and Ayame alone. With tear filled eyes, Tohru looked over to see it had been the yellow bow-tie he had once bought her for white day. She turned away not wanting to stare at something she didn't deserve. She didn't deserve anything good. It was all her fault. It was her fault the baby died.

Ayame finally built up enough courage to sit on the hospital bed by Tohru. He head noticed something while he had been standing there silently. The blinds were drawn shut as if Tohru believed she didn't even deserve light, she had red nail marks on her arm as if she had been digging her nails into her skin, the former optimistic girl didn't dare crack a smile.

"...Tohru. I know I haven't really been a brother to you for long. But I have something to say." Tohru buried her head in her hands.

"Please go." She whispered but Ayame pulled her hands away and forced her to look him in the eyes.

"It wasn't your fault Tohru! It was Akito's! Can't you see this is what he wants? For you to spend the rest of your days tormented about something you had no hand in? I heard you lost your mother, you've managed to get through the loss of our father with a smile on your face. You made it through those times and why not now? I have no way to understand the pain you feel dear, but I do know you are a fighter like me. No matter how many times you get knocked down, you get back up." And with that statement, the unusually somber and serious Ayame made his exit.

* * *

 **Epilogue**

Tohru had been released from the hospital after a few more days. She still confined herself to her dark room for two weeks. She hardly ate or did her work for school during that time. She barely uttered a word towards anyone, especially Kyo. She couldn't even look him in the face. The next month she began to stop lying around and do her studies. Two months and a half, she kept her focus on housecleaning and cooking to distract from her loss. After the third month she opened the blinds in her room and allowed light in.

By the third month and half she started talking to Yuki, Shigure, Hana, Uo, and everyone that visited. Everyone except Kyo that is.

It wasn't until around graduation when Kyo sat upon the rooftop watching the sun begin to set. Akito had died a month before, he never recovered from the accident and had been in vegetative state since then. They finally pulled the plug and the remainder of the Sohma's were free of the curse. Kyo and Kureno hadn't needed to worry as they already had been.

Kyo had thought to speak to Tohru so many times but he was advised to leave her alone. Over and over again. He missed her. He hated what happened but he wanted his riceball back more than anything.

A ladder suddenly landed by the roof, footsteps slowly ascended them and Tohru nervously peeked up over the ladder. Gaining the nerve she crawled up to sit next to him.

"...Hi." She murmured.

"...Hi." Kyo responded tenaciously, wondering if he should say any more. But before he could, he was pulled into a nearly crushing hug but he didn't care. Tohru was hugging him. After months of silence, she finally hugged him again. Not being able to help himself he kissed her.

With their foreheads pressed together, the two looked at one another. Tohru whispered over his lips, "I still love you."

And in that moment, Kyo finally at peace responded. "I still love you. And I always will."

The End


	11. Havoc

**I haven't read this story in ages, so I don't entirely know what happens in it. But I do know that it wasn't one of my best. However, it is one that brings me a bit of nostalgia. I hope you guys enjoy a little snack while my new story is being finished.**

 **Love,**

 **StringInRepair**

* * *

 **The Sohmas all shared the same problem. This problem was a curse that caused them all to transform into animals of the Zodiac when under stress or hug the opposite sex. I know what you're thinking, this is like all other fanfics I've read before blah, blah, blah. No. This is about a girl and her best friend that encounter the Sohma clan but- with a secret of their own...**

 **TKY: I hope you guys like this story. I have no clue where this is going but I figured I wanted to do another- well you'll see.**

 **Kyo: Why are you starting another story when you haven't finished the others?**

 **TKY: Because I can and I will. Besides I'll finish them...Eventually.**

 **Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimers apply that I don't own Fruits Basket blah.**

* * *

 **Chapter One: Unreal**

Izumi flicked the switch on the lighter and lit the candles all throughout the house. All you could hear was the rain beating down on the roof. Nothing else since the power had just gone out. Izumi sat down next to her best friend Takumi who- as always was eating. Today he was eating tonkatsu (a pork cutlet) and his face stretched into a smile. He was obviously satisfied with his meal.

Izumi was only five feet tall, she had long black hair with light purple tips, purple eyes, and milky white skin. Her older friend on the other hand had short black hair with blue highlights, he was 6 feet tall, and but had azure colored eyes, he was also slender.

"Do you always have to eat?" Izumi rolled her eyes and picked up her own chopsticks to eat her sushi. "Uh- yeah." Takumi replied as if it were normal to eat that much all the time. Izumi knew why he ate so much she was just teasing him. That was part of his secret that will soon be revealed.

"What about you? Have you kept her in check?" Takumi asked pointing towards her silver necklace with a purple heart shaped gem hanging from it. This caused her to roll her eyes once again in annoyance. "Duh. I kind of have to." After they both finished eating Takumi went to his room to sleep and Izumi left to her room to meditate. They both were starting their first day as second years at Kaibara Highschool tomorrow. Takumi was excited and Izumi was stressed as this meant new Teachers, a new curriculum, and having to study her ass off once again.

The next morning

Izumi

Izumi changed into the School Uniform and her face twisted into a grimace. The skirt was so...Short. On their way to school Takumi had no problem making perverted jokes about that all the way there.

When they arrived they got the looks they were expecting. Their odd hair and striking eye colors were enough to make everyone point and stare. The Takumi with his care free, laid-back personality had no problem ignoring the stares but it only made Izumi nervous and she began fiddling with her fingers. Izumi's locker happened to be far away from Takumi's and her locker also happened to be jammed. She couldn't get it open.

"Need help?" Izumi turned to come face to face with a boy that had silver hair and eyes the color of hers. "Uh- um..Yeah if you don't mind?" After she gave him the combination she couldn't help but gape at him. He looked so familiar to her. Plus she had wondered why his hair and eyes were such a color.

"Here Miss- I'm sorry I don't believe I caught your name." She snapped out of her stupor and answered, "Sorry. You can call me Izumi. I don't care much for formalities."

"Okay. Izumi, are you new here?" Yuki ran his hand through his hair all sexy like and Izumi could have sworn she heard a group of girls swooning.

"Yeah, I just moved here actually." Yuki's face broke out into a smile and he extended his hand, "Would you like me to help you find your classes?" Izumi nodded and followed after him.

Takumi

He got his locked open on the first try and three girls walked up to him.

"Hey um are you like- new here?" The short haired brunette twirled her hair around her index finger and the others fluttered their eyelashes flirtatiously.

"Yeah." Takumi stuffed his hands in his pockets wondering why these random chicks were talking to him.

"Do you like, want us to show you to your class? Are you in Class D?" The blonde with glasses asked latching onto his arm. Takumi smiled and chuckled. "Sure just don't get too close alright?" They all nodded in unison and walked him to his class.

Izumi

When she arrived she saw that Takumi was sitting in a desk with a group of ditzes surrounding him. Izumi scanned the room for an empty seat and breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted one next to an oranged haired boy that was slouching and had this angry demeanor about him.

The Sensei walked into the classroom and set down his black over the shoulder bag.

"Class we have two new students. Miss Izumi and Mr Takumi please stand and introduce yourselves." Takumi had to pry their girls fingers off his arms before he stood.

"Yo, I'm Takumi and that over there is my best friend Izumi. We're new here, from another school blah blah blah." Takumi sat back down carelessly and Izumi on the other hand hesitantly sat back down. There was really nothing more to say, he had said it all.

Lunchtime

Izumi had hoped to sit with Takumi but he had plans with his fanclub so she searched the grassy area still unable to find somewhere to sit until she found Prince Yuki waving her over.

"Miss Izumi over here!" A/N: Her last name is Sohma but they don't know that yet.

Izumi sat down to be facing the same orange haired from earlier, the prince, a brunette, a short boy with blonde hair wearing a girls uniform, and a guy with black and white hair.

"Hey Yuki who is this? Is she gonna be my new friend?" the blonde boy popped another lollipop back into his mouth.

"Stop bothering people!" the orangehaired boy dove his fist into Momiji's head.

"Wahh Kyo's hitting me!" the boy cried. Kyo? Yuki? Those names I've heard so many times before. I remember watching Akito abuse Yuki whilst I stood on the sideliines helpless...useless. And I had always felt bad for Kyo- the rejected amongst all of us. None of the Sohmas aside from Hatori, Shigure, and Akito know of Takumi and I. But thats because of several reasons.

"Why are you here anyways? How come you aren't hanging around Takumi or whatever?" Kyo asked annoyedly.

"He is kind of- preoccupied at the moment." Izumi stared down at her hands. "Is that him?" Momiji pointed to where Takumi was walking towards them alone for once.

"Hey Zumi," he sat down next to Izumi and she groaned. "Did you- y'know?..." Izumi was asking if he transformed and he shook his head and she let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding.

"What up Sohmas?" Takumi nodded at them.

"You know the Sohmas? Thats so amazing." Tohru spoke up clasping her hands together.

"Um..."

 **What will she say? What zodiacs are they? Why are the kept a secret? Find out next chapter! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Easier Said Than Done**

"Um... He knows the Sohmas because his late cousin was a distant Sohma." Izumi waited to see if they believed her and she let out yet another sigh when they did.

"So who is this beauty here?" Takumi put his hand under Tohru's chin only for Yuki and Kyo to slap it away.

"I ask that you do not touch Miss Honda."

"Keep your damn paws off her!" Kyo chimed in and Takumi clucked his tongue.

"I don't believe you should talk about anyone elses 'paws' hmm?" Takumi smirked. "And what are you two supposed to be anyway? Her bodyguards?"

The hell was this guys problem? Touching Tohru and smirking about it thinking he's well- I don't know what.

The bell rang and they all got up but Haru gravitated towards Yuki grabbing onto his tie.

"Hello Haru." Izumi laughed to herself. The Ox was quite fond of the rat although it hasn't always been that way. That she knew.

When school was over Takumi went off with his fan club and Izumi had no plans. It was a Friday after all. But Yuki ended up graciously asking if she would like to join them since they were going to a restraunt today and the mall tomorrow. Izumi was timid at first but decided to go since she'd rather not go home since her Mom would be getting home from her little stay with Akito. Her Mom was the most evil thing on two legs, okay second to Akito.

Izumi went home to get ready since she'd be meeting Yuki, Kyo, Haru, Momiji, and Tohru at the restraunt.

Izumi changed into a black tank top, an amethyst floral sheer blouse, black skinny jeans, black ballet flats, a pearl necklace. She curled her long black hair cascading down her back in silky waves and clipped the raven shaped hair clip her Father gave her three years before he died. She of course had her Purple Heart shaped necklace that she never took off under any circumstance. It would be horrible what would happen if she did.

She decided to meditate some before leaving. It always helped her with staying calm which she needed. She opened the door to the Takumoto hibachi styled restraunt where she was supposed to have dinner with her cousins.

Momiji was practically standing in the booth waving her over. Izumi found the only available seat next to Kyo and Tohru's. After they ordered their food Kyo groaned.

"What's wrong Kyo?" Tohru's asked her eyes filled with concern. She hated to see anyone unhappy especially Kyo.

"Don't worry Miss Honda, he's just acting immature as usual." Yuki explained calmly while glaring at Kyo.

"Shut up girly boy! It's nothing Tohru." Kyo looked down his bangs covering his eyes. Izumi on the other hand looked at him in wonder. She knew that whenever Kyo said it was nothing it was usually the opposite. He didn't talk all throughout dinner and when it was time to part Kyo walked off into a poorly lit area and Izumi thanked them for inviting her. Yuki asked if she needed assistance getting home and she politely turned down the offer and walked in the direction Kyo had.

She searched the streets for the familiar orange hair and still couldn't find him. She ended up finding herself to be lost though. She decided to stop and rest for a little when two burly tattooed guys stalked up to her.

"Why lookee what we got hur, how much do ya think we could get fer this bitch?" He was obviously drunk and trying to take advantage of her. His friend walked around Izumi looking her up and down.

"I think she may be just what we need," he tilted her chin up and Izumi slapped him.

"Got me a feisty one right hur." The drunk's face stretched into a grin. And before anyone of them could lay another hand on her Kyo came almost as if out of nowhere and basically kicked their ass.

"You alright?" Izumi nodded and Kyo's worried face became one of anger. "What are you doing out here alone? Didn't that damn rat offer to take you home?"

"He did but I was worry about you Kyo-kun." Kyo shook his head, "You don't even know me. Why do you care? Nobody else does." Kyo stuffed his hands in his pockets and Izumi instictivley reached out and took his hand from his pocket and held his in both of hers.

"I do care Kyo-kun, you may not think I do but I do very much so. I just wish you'd understand that everyone else does too." Kyo looked at Izumi still wondering why she was being so kind to a monster like him and he was not usually one to show sadness to anybody. But this time was different, he felt like he knew Izumi on a personal level.

"...Thanks..." Izumi smiled. "Likewise, for saving me." Kyo nodded and they walked in the direction of Shigure's since much to Izumi's suprise and Relief Kyo asked if she'd like to stay for the night.

When they got inside Shigure came out with his glasses on and a pencil behind his ear as if he'd been writing something, but somehow Izumi doubted it.

"Well look who it is. The beautfiul and radiant as ever Izumi." Shigure laughed his perverted laugh and Kyo threatned to knock him on his ass if he didn't stop.

"How do you even know her anyway?" Kyo growled.

"She's uh- her Mother is an old friend of mine." Shigure and Izumi sweatdropped.

"Whatever." Kyo decided to go sleep on the roof tonight.

"So Izumi, long time no see." "Yeah..." Izumi looked down at her feet shyly.

"So how is you Mom these days?" Izumi glared through the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes, "You know damn well how I feel about her Sensei."

"Oh right, sorry Izumi. So does Kyo-"

"-No and he's not gonna know that I'm the raven in the zodiac." Shigure started heading back to his study, "Ahh well suit yourself. But- he will find out eventually you know." And with that he was back in his study and Izumi was left scared. What if the dogs right? What if Kyo did find out? How would he react?

 **Guess you'll find out soon enough ;) Oh and next Chapter will probably reveal what Takumi is. :)**

* * *

 **TohruKyoYuki: Time for the disclaimer.**

 **Kyo: Would you hurry up, I'm still on the roof and its cold out here.**

 **TKY: Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FRUITS BASKET sadly...On with the story.**

 **Tohru: Yay! I can't wait to find out what happens next!**

* * *

 **Chapter Three: The Boy Behind His Facade**

"Thanks for taking us out Takumi" three girls from his fan club squealed in unison.

"No problem, anything for you ladies."

"Goodnight Takumi!" Takumi nodded in acknowledgement

Takumi walked into his house and saw his mom was fast asleep. He gave her a quick peck on the head and trudged upstairs. Life for them had never been easy. In fact the only person that knew of his situation was Izumi since he never had really any friends. His zodiac form pretty much caused that.

He collapsed on his bed in exhaustion. He never told anyone not even Izumi how alone he felt inside. He hated how he was constantly being strung along like a dead lifeless puppet on a string. His life being nothing but a dark void waiting to swallow him up. Everyone seemed to be a lie, a mere illusion of they way he wanted things to be.

He decided to get some sleep hoping to clear his mind of all his troubles, essentially to numb the stabbing pain he felt whenever those mirages- people were around him.

"Izumi what are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Yuki walked out to see Izumi standing there at night looking like she had just seen a ghost.

"Yeah I'm fine, Kyo offered me to stay the night because my mom is not home and he didn't want me to be home alone."

Yuki folded his arms across his chest in though, "Hmm, I never took Kyo for the caring and considerate type."

This made something inside the usually peaceful Izumi snap.  
"Maybe if you weren't so busy fighting him and constantly putting him down you'd notice!" Then Izumi stomped upstairs before he could say another word. But above all, she hadn't bothered to ask where she was staying.

She continued to trek down the hallway and at the same moment, Kyo swooped in from the hall window. "Ahh! Kyo you scared me!"

"Sorry and you can call me Kyo ya know."Izumi's face flushed, she was almost as bad as Tohru.

"Oh I didn't mean to upset you Kyo ku- I mean Kyo. I just wasn't sure you wanted to be informal." Izumi bowed until Kyo stopped her and to her surprise he was laughing.

"Apology accepted, don't break yourself. I swear sometimes you act just like Tohru." Kyo lead her to his room.

"You can stay in my room for the night and I will take the couch for tonight." Kyo was about to leave when Izumi's voice stopped him.

"Thanks Kyo. You are so kind, never forget that or allow anyone to speak different." Kyo slid the door shut and stood in the hallway for a moment until the corners of his mouth turned upward slightly before heading downstairs.

Saturday (Trip to the Mall)

Izumi opened her eyes to see the sunlight streaming through the window. She hated light and loved the darkness, it was that way for anyone that inherited the Raven Spirit. She sat up still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She fingered her necklace. There was quite a bit of stories revolved around the necklace. If she didn't wear it, it would release her other spirit known as Black Raven. She was the evil disturbed counterpart that if unleashed she would basically wreak havoc destroying everything in its path.

There was a knock on the door and Shigure stepped in closing the door behind him. "I know its not really my business but I think you should tell him." Izumi huffed, "You're right. It is none of your business. Can you please leave so I can change Shigure." He sighed before leaving her to her solitude. She sat back down on the bed folding her legs so that she was in the lotus position and breathed deep. She left the room to ask Tohru if there were any clothes she could borrow. Since her figure was much like Rin's they would be quite loose but she could manage.

Takumi sat up straight in his bed in a cold sweat. He pressed his hands to his eyes. It was just a nightmare. He looked out the window to see the blinding sunlight. He on the other hand liked light quite a bit. His Zodiac form was a panda and really had black and white hair (Which explained the eating). He dyed the white part blue to keep distinctive from Haru. He couldn't believe he had that dream again. It was of Akito and his Father. They were in Akito's dark room and when his Father spoke out of turn Akito wielded a knife and right before he stabbed his Dad he would wake up. Everytime. For all he knew his Dad could be dead somewhere, he had left years ago and hadn't returned.

Takumi showered and changed deciding to head over to Shigure's where he knew Izumi was staying. He told his Mom he'd be back later and stuffed his hands in his pockets beginning the walk to Shigure's.

"Again thanks so much for the clothes Tohru-Chan." Tohru smiled, "No problem, oh and many apologies I can't go to the mall today since I have to work. But i wish you to have fun in my place." Izumi nodded in understanding and Tohru set off to do some chores before she had to leave. Izumi walked downstairs and saw a half asleep Yuki sitting at the table and a bored Kyo sitting across from him.

"Good Morning Yuki-kun and Kyo." Izumi sat in the traditional style as well. Kyo stifled a yawn and Yuki leaned over and his head rested on Izumi's shoulder. Thank goodness he wasn't embracing her or anything.

"Eh- heh heh." Izumi sighed. Someone knocked on the front door and Tohru decided to get it. "Oh hello-" Tohru began her stuttering and let in the unexpected visitor.

"Tamaki?"

 **This shall continue next chapter. You can tell what kind of mood I was in when I wrote the part in the beginning. But I hoped you liked anyways, let me know if its getting boring or if any part confused you. :)**

* * *

 **It may be short since I'm not feeling well.**  
 **Tohru: I wish you wellness.**  
 **Takumi: Yo.**  
 **Izumi: Disclaimer: She doesn't own fruits basket. There, can we get on with the story now?**

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Broken Hearts lead to Broken Souls**

"Takumi?" Takumi walked over and sat down.  
"Uh yeah?" Izumi closed her eyes and sighed, "What I meant was what are you doing here?" Takumi just shrugged and Izumi looked like she was about to clock him. If he was here she wouldn't be able to get any alone time with Kyo. Wait, did she just think that?

"I'm kinda bored at home since I don't have a date I figured why not come here?"

"And you knew where I was staying how?"

"Call it intuition. Where's Tohru?"

"What do you want with her?" Kyo asked through gritted teeth. Takumi on the other hand feigned innocence by fluttering his eyelashes attempting to appear angelic.

"Why nothing Kyo that you should be concerned with. Im not gonna hurt her if that's what you're insinuating. I just want to thank her for letting me in."

Kyo snorted at that. More like you're trying to get in her pants.

"Um Kyo why don't we get going?" Izumi asked worriedly as this could escalate quickly. This in turn caused his glare to intensify towards Takumi who looked like the cat got the canary. Smirking acting all high and mighty. He wanted to wipe that smirk right off that pretty boys face.

"Kyo, if you're worried about Tohru kun being here alone with Takumi- don't. She's going to work soon." This seemed to have the desired effect as Kyo's expression softened and they left for the mall. But still threw a threatening glare over his shoulder at Takumi who looked to be laughing silently.

He watched as Tohru frantically rushed around the house getting ready for work and just as she was about to leave Takumi. Stopped her at the door putting both hands on either side of her head.

"Ahh Takumi kun do you need anything before I go to work?" Tohrus face slowly turning bright red becoming flustered under his gaze.

"Uh yeah, you." His breath was hot on her face and Tohrus flushed face became one of puzzlement.

"Tohru I think you're pretty and I was hoping you'd like to go out with me." Takumi knew all about Tohru since he happened to be a Sohma after all. He remembered hearing hushed conversations throughout the zodiacs at the main estate about how special she was. Well damn it he was going to see for himself.

"Many apologies Takumi-san but I have work. I suppose afterward we-"

"Awesome! See ya babe." Takumi gave Tohru a peck on the cheek which caused the red on her face to darken and Takumi decided to head home.

While at the mall Izumi had bought outfits to last her since she would be staying till her mom came home which Izumi made up to avoid going back to that bitch. She still remembered every last painful red slash marks that decorated her arms, every bruise, black eye and how she would shed tears everyday leaving her dry and empty.

"Mommy please! I'll be a good girl I promise!" She clenched her head as she anticipated the blow to come. Her mom loved to see her beg not to just before she striked her. It was a way to let out all her frustrations about her widow status, how much work sucked, and took it all out on her only daughter. Everyday thinking up new ways to torture her.

"Izumi. Izumi? Hello?" Kyo was waving his hand in her face to snap her out of her stupor. She shook her head to clear the memories and forced a smile,"im fine I just zoned out. Sorry." He nodded in understanding.

They both left the mall and were walking home in comfortable silence. Izumi glanced up at Kyo to see him staring off into the distance. She decided the dog was right and this may be the best time to tell him.

 **Sorry to cut the story short but I'm sick. I hope you enjoyed and will hopefully update tomorrow. :)**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FRUITS BASKET**

 **TohruKyoYuki: The Chapter name in case you were wondering is lyrics from Monster by BIGBANG anyways on with the story.**

* * *

 **Chapter Five: I love you, Baby I'm not a Monster**

Izumi was still going back in forth with her decision trying to decide if it was wise to reveal herself to Kyo. Would he react like everyone else? Keeping their distance, constantly fearful if she could turn at any moment, act the way they often do towards Haru due to his dark side. She decided in the end to tell him and hope for the best.

"Kyo..." "Hmm?" Kyo gazed down at her with those captivating crimson eyes of his.

"I- I am part of the Zodiac." Kyo stopped in his tracks and gaped at her.

"...And I know you're the cat and well..I-er am the Raven of the Zodiac removed like the Panda and the Cat." Kyo seemed to be dazed which was new for the neko. Finally five agonizing moments later a smile formed on Kyo's face and Izumi's heart fluttered.

"I'm glad you entrusted me with your secret and all but why? Why tell me?" Kyo scratched his head in thought and it was Izumi's turn to smile.

"Because you're my friend dummy," she pretended to hit him on the head and he laughed. He knew Izumi was too pure at heart to actually hit him even if as a joke.

"I still don't get why you say these things Izumi. Is it out of pity?" Izumi instantly got serious and shook her head no, "No I really do like you Kyo and...You're not a monster." Kyo froze once again. She knew about his... _form?_ His disgusting, vile, putrid form that shamed him. The very one Akito spat at but Tohru somehow accepted?

A tear fell from his eye and Izumi did the only thing she could think of. She embraced him.

Takumi

He was standing in front of his mirror with shaving cream all over his face. He tended to use aftershave and the thing about it was he barely had stubble. He slipped into a black pleather jacket, black jeans, a black t-shirt that said Black Veil Brides, and black combat boots. He was kinda goth to a certain extent. He ruffled his hair giving him the sexy mussed up look and glanced at the clock deciding Tohru was probably home from work by now. When he walked in he saw his Mom standing at the counter crying. He rushed over to console her.

"Ma whats wrong?" She just shook her head and with a horse whisper she told him to go.

"What?"

"Go," she croaked more forcefully and Takumi reluctantly backed away until he was all the way out the door. He shoved his hands in his pockets trudging off to Tohru's house his spirits diminished although he didn't really have any to begin with.

He knocked on the door and the Onigirl opened the door with her usual goofy grin plastered on her face.

"Takumi! Oh come in, sorry to leave you out here so long."

"Tohru its only been a couple of minutes," Takumi sighed and plopped down on the couch. Tohru slowly walked over trying to read his face.

"Takumi are you okay?" Once Takumi glanced in Tohru's direction he began to shake with tears that wouldn't fall- _couldn't_ fall. He stopped showing emotions so long ago, real ones anyway. The feelings he displayed nowadays were typically artificial. This boy was so...broken. Tohru hugged him since she obviously no idea about the fact he was a panda. And with a poof of black smoke Tohru was hugging said Panda Bear.

Tohru pulled back and her hair seemed to stand on end and her eyes bugged out anime style. "AHHHHOOOEEAHHHHHHH!" She screamed and nearly fainted.

"Guess I have some explaining to do huh?" Takumi muttered glumly and leaned back. This was going to be a long night.

Izumi and Kyo continued to walk home and Kyo glanced over at Izumi once again except he saw that she was staring up at the now night sky. Kyo smiled to himself and before he could stop himself he reached for her hand and she looked over at Kyo and squeezed his hand.

"Kyo I have another confession to make...My mom is home but I uh don't wish to return. Could I please stay for a little while longer till I am able to get on my feet and find a place to stay.

Kyo shook his head and Izumi was crestfallen and Kyo's face slowly spread to a smile. "What I mean is no, you can stay. I'm pretty sure the mutt won't mind. You are family y'know." Izumi laughed, her laugh ringing like bells that Kyo wished he would hear more often. _Damn it I sound like a pansy. Besides the cat doesn't deserve to love. NOT THAT I LOVE HER OR ANYTHING...Right?_

"Oh we're here," Izumi beamed and broke their contact to rush in the house. Kyo was sad despite himself. He missed the lack of warmth he felt now and was replaced with cold bitterness.

"Where have you two been? I thought I was supposed to be joining Miss Izumi," Yuki folded his arms across his chest glaring at the cat that reacted like he usually did.

"MAYBE I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO COME YA DAMN RAT!" Kyo hissed back

"I'm so sorry Yuki-kun, Kyo had told me you had student council meetings," Izumi rubbed her temples trying to tame the raging beast inside of her. She had no idea why the Rat was pissing her off so much. It was almost as if she felt the same hate Kyo had felt that was radiating off his body.

"On a Saturday? Really Kyo? I figured you would do a whole lot better than that. You really do live up to your name baka neko." Yuki retorted darkly and Izumi stepped in front of Kyo.

"Leave him the hell alone Yuki!" Izumi yelled her face briefly shadowed and unreadable before returning back to normal to see a gaping rat and an impressed cat.

"Hey guys," Takumi walked in still in his zodiac form with Tohru following after him smiling. Yuki's mouth dropped to the floor, not Kyo since he knew.

"Kyo, Yuki-Kun! Takumi and Izumi are Sohmas! Can you believe it?!" Izumi stood there arms crossed across her chest shaking her head. "What did you do Takumi?" she tapped her foot waiting for an explanation.

 **Did ya like? I hope so. I was stuck on ideas for this chapter but I think I know where I'm going with involving the story line. Why do you think Izumi felt the same burning hate towards Yuki as Kyo? Was it loyalty or something else? What about whats going on with Takumi? What do you think really happened to his Dad and his Mom. Let me know in a review! Thanks! Bye :)**

* * *

 **Sorry for the long wait but now I can finally get into the story a little more. The chappie title is lyrics from Lecrae song Lucky Ones :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Cheating Besting Hearts and These Eyes Full of Lust**

Takumi just stood there staring blankly at her before shrugging. Tohru hugged him again.

"Sorry Takumi but you're just so cute!" She nuzzled his arm and he pretended to be offended, "Am I not cute as a human?" And Tohru pulled away waving her hands frantically as to assure him that wasn't true.

Izumi sighed, "Stop teasing Tohru and y'know you shouldn't have been so careless as to even be able to transform in the first place. Honestly."

"Kay Mom, now are you finished or do you have more to say?" Izumi rolled her eyes and decided to leave to get sleep for the night.

Shigure came out of his study and looking between Kyo, Tohru, Yuki, and Takumi who finally changed back causing Tohru to spin around shielding her eyes.

"Hello Takumi." Shigure giggled as if this was an everyday occurrence. He left for the kitchen his kimono dragging behind him. After Takumi got dressed Yuki and Kyo left to sleep and Tohru and Takumi decided to go out after all.

Takumi took her to the arcade because she said she hadn't been there since her 7th birthday. Tohru had changed into a blue jean skirt a deep scarlet red bandeau top, platform sandals, and her hair was down. Tohru's eyes flitted around the room taking in all the games.

"Takumi kun! Look at all the pretty lights on that one! It looks amazing!" Tohru's enthusiasm made Takumi smile. She had just made his hellish day better.

They both played skii ball and Takumi let Tohru win, they both raced on a virtual motorcycle, and played pinball before going over to DanceDance Revolution.

He shook his head trying to appear cool although he felt somewhat embarrassed.

"Tohru I can't dance." Suddenly she started laughing and his ears burned red suddenly feeling anger bubbling inside of him until Tohru explained, "You don't have to know how to dance silly! You just follow the arrows on the screen." He calmed after that and managed a small smile before following her onto the machine.

Kyo knocked on his bedroom door and heard a small voice telling him to come in. He slid the door open hesitantly and closed it behind him. Izumi sat up her hair  
disheveled looking like she had been asleep which made Kyo guilty for waking her over a stupid nightmare.

"What's wrong Kyo." Izumi was suddenly overcome with a sadness that ran so deep a tear slid down her cheek. Kyo noticed, "Are you okay?"

"...N-no...I'm not quite sure." Izumi held her head feeling a stabbing pain behind her eyes and she got memory that wasn't hers.

"Kyo I love you. Did you wear your bracelet today?" A woman moved his sleeve and saw the familiar bead bracket and breathed a sigh of relief. It was very short but it was enough for her to feel the pain, restless, fearful, and the complete utter despair he had felt that day many moons ago. Izumi pulled Kyo into an embrace assuring him things were alright at the same time he was wondering what the hell she was talking about before thinking it might have something to do with his late night visit.

Shigure was on the phone in his office with his longtime high school friend Hatori, "so she's going to be staying with us as well and Takumi? Oh but you know how Izumi feels about Kyo, so how will she feel when that woman shows up do you think? Hmm yes this could be perfect for my next story! I can see it now 'The drama continues to unfold as the two girls claw their way to their man, the object of their affections whilst he can't decide which one would push him over the edge with pleasure and-" Hatori slammed the phone down as perverted images filled his head.

Shigure chuckled to himself. This would be fun.

After Takumi and Tohru left the arcade it was chilly so Takumi offered his jacket all the meanwhile Tohru had explained he needed it more than she did and this went on for five minutes before she finally took the jacket.

Takumi smiled looking up to the sky seeing the snow beginning to fall in flurries for next week was the first week of December. He reached for Tohrus hand figured she would love that like every girl he had been with and Tohru turned 40 shades of red before they intertwined their fingers.

"So Takumi kun-"

"Call me Takumi."

"-Takumi what are your plans for Christmas? Getting anyone something special?" Tohru stared ahead trying to hide the darker shades of red slowly creeping onto her face. Takumi pursed his lips together as if in deep thought before responding. "I plan to get someone or two something real nice but I'm not really doing anything but laying around the house unless I work that night." He drummed his fingers on his left pants leg and Tohru smiled the embarrassment disappearing from her cheeks, "I hope they enjoy what you get them."

Takumi gave Tohru a longing side glance seeing she was spacing out as usual or as Kyo liked to put it, a space cadet. "I hope they do too."

Kyo and Izumi ended up falling asleep and Kyo's nightmare was a thing of the past. But they way they had fallen asleep was cute with Izumi resting her head on Kyo's chest and him with one arm wrapped around her waist. They hadn't done anything but anyone who walked in on their current situation would have thought different. That person just so happened to be Yuki.

"What do you think you're doing to Miss Sohma?" Yuki asked still appalled and Kyo and Izumi's eyes snapped open. And they looked over each other and immediately got off each other. Izumi ran out of the room and Kyo shot up angrily glaring at the rat. "What do you think you're doing barging in rat boy?!"

Yuki leaned in the doorway, "I came to let you know you have a visitor but thats just fine by me if she beats you within an inch of your life. Saves me the trouble." Kyo followed Yuki downstairs yelling threats and obscenities at him until he came across a brunette with green eyes and a green top.

"Hello Kyo my darling!" She exclaimed spinning around.

"Ahh Kagura!" Kyo ran to get away but unfortunatley the boar was a little too quick for the cat.

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter and it took me a couple of days to update due to school and what not. I'm so freakin happy we have two weeks left before winter break! Anyways next chapter will Kagura tear Kyo apart? Or will she spare him for once? Find out next chapter :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Heart of Stone**

Kyo tried to escape but Shigure without looking up latched onto the back of Kyo's shirt before he could go anywhere.

"Damn mutt." Kyo hissed under his breath and when Kagura looked up her eyes were shining with tears that had yet to fall.

"Kyo, you didn't write me or call me. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

Kagura began to pummel him and Izumi wanted to intervene without knowing what exactly to do. Her dominant side was a pacifist but seeing Kyo being thrown around like that made her seethe as she tried to maintain control as the beast was rattling the internal cage trying to break free. Why was this this riling her up so much? Sure he was her friend but to make both sides pissed was a whole new level. She and Kyo were just friends right?

After that necklace or not nothing would have been able to stop the inevitable when she blacked out. **"My, my, my look what the cat dragged in. A mangy nasty boar, what a disgusting, worthless, piece of filth."** Izumi- Black Raven hissed in a voice much different than her own yanking Kagura away from Kyo and he took the opportunity to crawl away but he didn't leave the room. He had never seen Izumi like this.

"Le-Let me go! Who are you?" Kagura clawed at the hand that was beginning to cut off her airway as Izumi's grip on Kagura's throat tightened immensely.

"Uh, Izumi you need to let her go before you actually kill her." Shigure laughed weakly and Izumi's vast, vacant eyes flashed in Shigure's direction. Shigure shrank back and retreated to his study.

Coward Kyo thought to himself and as he saw Kagura gasping trying to find someway to get oxygen back into her lungs, he decided no matter how obnoxious she is she didn't deserve to die prematurely.

"Izumi thats enough." Izumi's enraged eyes looked into Kyo's and she could see that even he was scared so she allowed her dominant side to take over and dropped Kagura. She didn't want another murder on her hands because of Black Raven's doing.

"I-I'm so sorry Kyo, Kagura. I don't know what came over me."

Kagura in between breaths whispered angrily, "Yeah right. And how can you sy something like that after nearly killing me. You're just like that dumb cow." Kagura wobbily stood up and headed to the kitchen angrily.

Izumi stared down at her hands. No Kyo you aren't a monster...I am.

Takumi lied down in his bed mat and replayed the events in his head. After their date last night he had done something that neither one expected. They both stood at Shigure's doorstep the moon shone bright illuminating Tohru giving her a glow that made Takumi slowly smile.

"I had a wonderful time and you were such a good dancer Takumi-Kun." Tohru bounced on her heels and Takumi placed a finger to her lips.

"No -kun remember Tohru." She nodded and bid him goodnight and was about to open the door when suprising them both, Takumi whirled her back around and planted a soft chaste kiss on her lips before sprinting off into the night. He hadn't stayed long enough to see her touch her lips still feeling his on hers. She smiled and for the first time she didn't blush for she was not embarassed that something felt right.

A smile played on Takumi's lips still recalling what happened in the wee hours of the morning until there was a knock on the door.

"Ma come in." But instead Hatori stepped inside and Takumi sat up running his hand through his messy hair. "Yo what are you doing here Hatori? I thought you were taking care of the son of a bitch."

Hatori scowled at Takumi, "You know you shouldn't be refering to him like that. I know how you feel about him, we all do. After what happened to your sister-"

Takumi stood up so that he was eye to eye with Hatori, "Don't ever bring that up again. What gives you the right?" Hatori's scowl became a grimace. He was already in a bitter mood and wasn't in the mood to deal with this smartass rebellious teen this early in the morning.

"You are to stay with Shigure Akito's orders. No questions asked. Pack your things and be out of here by nightfall."

"What?" Takumi yelled. "He can't do that! Who-"

"No questions asked." Hatori cut in sharply and left Takumi while he tried to regain his composure. How could Akito ask him to leave his mom behind all because no one loved Akito had nothing to do with him. He ran downstairs and saw there were several men in jackets with gloves walking around like it was a crime scene. Wait! it is a crime scene! He rushed over and saw his Mom hanging from a noose. She had commited suicide. Takumi dropped down as if in a trance and began until his cries became desperate moans of agony that he couldn't stop from escaping him. He had saw she had been upset about something a day ago but what about he hadn't known. Now he had a pretty good idea. She must have come in contact with her allegely dead husband when really he must have always been around.

He made a mistake leaving her when she needed him most. She told him to go and he shouldn't have. This was all his fault, or at least thats what he had begun to think. He had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even known that the Japanese CSI was in his house along with the F.B.I.

He decided not to pack anything and instead left his hair still ruffled, puffy red eyes, and he was still in the clothes from his date last night with Tohru since he had been too lazy to change. He was heading towards Shigure's then he decided to change course. He couldn't face anyone right now. It was just...too much. He couldn't help but keep thinking. _Why? Why hadn't he been there? Why had he gone out with Tohru? Why was he still alive and his mom was dead?_

He slunk down in the middle of the woods next to a tree. It was probably only eight in the morning and he couldn't think of what to do next. He decided to get up and go to the nearest liquor store. It was still closed since it didn't open until nine and so he picked the lock on the back door of the store until he managed to get it open. Still walking completely out of it he opened the fridge that had packs of beer took a couple. He ran through the woods once again not caring where he was going and collapsed out of breath in a spot deep in the forest. Popping the tab he guzzled the beer down in one sitting.

"Just great. I'm just like my usually drunk off his ass dad." Takumi slurred starting on the next can wiping his mouth with his jacket sleeve. He kept drinking until he couldn't hold anymore and threw up until he finally lost conciousness.

Izumi paced the living room back and forth after Hatori had just dropped by with the news. And after Hatori left Momiji, Haru, Kisa and Hiro stopped by to show their support. Takumi was practically like an older brother to Hiro.

"Can ya stop that its making me dizzy." Kyo asked trying to lighten the mood and put Izumi at ease. She just sighed and her legs buckled underneath her.

"Where the hell is he? He was supposed to come straight here. He must not be thinking clearly, I need to go find him."

 **Hope you guys like this chapter and turns out I decided this chapter wasn't going to have fluff. The story will just later on. Thanks again for the 9 reviews and 329 views I hope to update tomorrow. :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: Invevitable**

Izumi tried to stand back up and found she couldn't no matter how hard or how many times she tried. It all became frustrating quickly. A wave of depression washed over her and she began to cry.

"Izumi are you alright?" Momiji asked with downcast eyes and she brought her knees to her chest shaking her head.

"Just like him." She kept repeating the mantra over and over while everyone was wondering what she was doing. What Izumi's grandfather had told her long ago all came back at once. He had told her about the raven which he knew all about due to the fact his sister was the former Raven. The one who is cursed by the raven not only can be extremely dangerous but also feels what other people do. Known as the most Sympathetic of all the zodiac.

Izumi wiped her tears away causing more to fall in their place.

"I- he's very depressed and needs guidance. I must go see him alone." And before anyone could stop her she finally managed to stand and rushed out of the house off into the dark woods.

"We shouldn't have let her go with all the perverts running amuck." Shigure closed his eyes and shook his head. "What does it matter? Theres already one living here." Yuki muttered although he was worried himself about Izumi's well being.

"For once I agree with that damn rat, its past 8 pm." Kyo sat down staring down at the floor his bangs covering his eyes.

Izumi ran through the dark, tangled, woods thinking to herself how they all must be worrying about her too. _I don't give a fuck about what happens to me as long as he's safe._

She called his name until her voice became hoarse and she squinted her eyes to assure herself it wasn't a mirage. There he was lying down covered in sweat and the intoxicating alcohol mixture of aromas that made her nauseous herself.

She knelt down and tried to shake him awake. No response. She tried everything to wake him from slapping him to tickling him. In the end she dragged him to the nearest pond which was no small feat for a girl her size. She threw him in and he woke up sputtering with water.

"The hell Izumi?" He growled shaking the water out of his hair but that alone made him nearly puke or pass out, or both. He was so hungover.

"Saving your drunk ass." It was now time for her to be anger rather than concerned for the moment.

Takumi trudged out of the pond with all the strength he could muster and sat down in the grass, leaned forward, and rested his head on elbows on his knees. "I'm sober now." He stated with and edge to his voice clearly showed he hated that he was. At least when he was drunk he had a break from the pain. The world was upside down and things didn't seem so bad from where he stood. He couldn't feel a thing while he was wasted. Entering the land of sobriety is what he despised most.

Izumi sat down next to Takumi a dark aura surrounding him and she glanced down at the arm he had made several cuts during the time of his grieving and if he had cut any deeper he would be dead. That was probably what he wanted.

Izumi's glare disappeared and she pulled him into the tightest hug she could give trying to calm him down. He pulled back and she was confused until he leaned over to throw up until he was dry heaving since he hadn't really eaten anything since yesterday there was nothing left to get rid of.

Izumi finally got him to calm down and he was still grief stricken so it took him awhile but he said loud enough for her to hear, "Thanks..." Izumi smiled, "No problem."

They both went back to Takumi's house to pack his things. But since Takumi fel he couldn't go in Izumi grabbed all his belongings and they left for Shigure's.

When they arrived it was 11pm and everyone was still there along with...Takumi's sister?

"Mio." Takumi dropped his bag and ran to her and hugged her tight no longer caring who saw him cry. He felt something though, the reason she was holding him at a distance. A baby bump.

A/N: Takumi's sister is also part of the zodiac as the legendary white dove.

"Hey Takumi." Mio gave a sad smile. A/N: Yes I got the name from K-ON!

That is all for this chapter. This week has been dragging on, I seriously felt like I was slowly dying inside. Sorry this chapter is short but I hope to update with a chapter that will end on a happier note tomorrow. Byes :)

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: Starting Anew**

Everyone else just looked back and forth at eachother and Izumi, no longer being able to withstand the awkward silence asks, "How far along are you?" she then regrets it thinking this sounds insensitive but Mio responds, "...Three Months..." Takumi closed his eyes and sighed resting his head on his younger sisters shoulder. He remembers the promise he had made to her so long ago.

 _"Mio you can't catch me." Young Takumi taunted as Mio chased him throughout their Mother's flower garden. Mio tried her best to catch up but her older brother was too fast and she ended up tripping over a sprawled out branch and stumbling to the ground scraping her knee._

 _Takumi was laughing and still running as fast as he could and when he looked back he saw Mio wasn't there. He ran back in her direction and saw he crying. He rushed over and held her to him until she stopped crying and took her into the house to bandage her knee since their Mom taught him first aid._

 _He kissed her on the cheek and hugged her once again. "Imouto, I promise no matter what. I promise to protect you oh and to keep you away from boys that try to ask you out." Mio laughed and stroked her 9 year old brother's cheek. "I know you will." They both smiled._

Takumi shook his head in disgust and anger at himself. He wasn't able to keep either one of his promises. His sister became pregnant because he had been careless to say the wrong thing to Akito. Akito striked back harder and sent a 15 year old Sohma that wasn't a zodiac and yet doesn't transform around any of the zodiacs. So in the end Mio ended up being 15 and pregnant. A/N: She's only a couple months younger than Takumi.

Takumi sat down on the couch putting his head down on his intertwined hands, his elbows resting in his lap. Mio walked over and sat down next to him. She lifted his chin to look at her.

"Takumi. This is not your fault. Dad running away, me getting raped, Mom's death. None of it is your doing so stop being so hard on yourself."

"But my promise-" Mio quickly shook her head and cut in, "You made that promise to me years ago and whether you believe it or not you kept it. You stayed by my side always. You comforted me even now when you needed the comfort most. You always help out around the house, take initiative, and responsibility which is more than enough protection for me. I feel so spoiled." She shook her head and pulled him down in a tight and hug and he gasped out, "Mio. Can't. Breathe." She quickly let him go and Tohru came out of the kitchen to inform everyone that dinner was ready. Everyone went inside except Takumi so Tohru decided to find out what was wrong.

"Takumi-"

"How do you deal with it?" Takumi interuppted desperate for answers. Tohru sat down where Mio had been. "What do you mean? With my Mom?" Takumi slowly nodded and Tohru's smile was replaced with a frown which Takumi had felt slightly guilty about.

She took a deep breath and began, "I don't think I told you what happened on the day of her death but... Every morning before my Mom leaves I usally say 'Bye Mom, be safe.' Well, one night I had been up late at night studying and ended up oversleeping the next morning. I hadn't been able to say to her 'Be safe' like I typically do. When I was in class and found about the accident I was deeply saddened and I felt even worse when I thought how it was my fault. I hadn't told her to stay safe and so it was my fault she died that day." Tohru cried silently and wiped her tears away.

Takumi shook his head in amazement, "It wasn't your fault that she died that day. There was no way that you would have known. Besides even if you had said that she might have still reached the same fate." Tohru smiled as he finally got the concept and she caressed his cheek, "And it is not your fault either Takumi." They stared into eachothers saddened eyes and Takumi slowly smiled for the first time that day. Takumi leaned in and kissed Tohru on the lips. She smiled against his lips and kissed back. He slowly moved his tongue to come in contact with her lips to ask for entrance and she happily and nervously complied. She had never kissed like this before. His tongue met hers causing her to involuntarily groan and they both began a battle for dominance until, "SO TAKUMI IS GOING TO BE THE ONE TO DE-VIRGINIZE TOHRU! I SEE!" Shigure laughed pervertedly and Tohru broke the kiss embarassed.

"Thanks Shigure." Takumi growled as Tohru ran out of the room upstairs to her own to escape as the heat continued to rise to her cheeks. Tohru is so innocent.

The rest of the Sohmas all left the kitchen after finishing up the dinner Tohru had prepared and Kyo left for the roof. Curious Izumi pursued him and climbed the ladder on the side of the house. There he was. The orange haired neko was staring at the moon and Izumi settled down next to him wrapping the jacket she was wearing around her and huddling next to him.

"Kyo, you okay?" He looked over at her for so long she began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. Still no response. She waved her hand in front of his face and she noticed him getting closer. The hell was he doing? He wasn't going to- oh yes he is! He kissed her. This is so corny like an old movie. A kiss under the moon that illuminates them sitting upon a rooftop. Izumi's immediate reaction was to push him away but he wouldn't let her. She felt odd kissing him since it seemed so out out of character. Kyo pulled back his eyes still closed and he whispered softly, "I'm sorry." He kept saying it over and over until she covered his mouth with her own lips this time. The kiss took Kyo aback. Why was she kissing a creature like him? He didn't even deserve to kiss someone as beautiful as her.

Izumi pulled away and she shook her head in bewilderment. "You just don't get it do you Kyo?...Look if anyone is a monster around here it is me."

"Stop trying to make me feel better," he turned away and Izumi moved so that she faced him. "This is the truth. You know of my other form the Black Raven. Kyo I don't think you've ever killed anyone. But you know what, I- she has."

A/N: Is this getting confusing? Let me know and I will make it clearer.

"We're like to seperate people such as Yin and Yang. Both polar opposites, but one without the other is imbalanced." Kyo lied back on the roof trying to take in all this information and Izumi lied down next to him.

"Kyo...I like you. A lot. There are people that care about you, you just need to look further." Kyo gave a small grin whereas Izumi on the other hand displayed a big smile.

"...So...How does this...Dating- thing work exactly?" Izumi laughed and she took Kyo's hand intertwining hers with his. "I dunno, guess we'll learn together."

 **Okay so the chapter ended different than I had planned but as long as it works. Whatever. Thank you to all my reviewers especially Sparklefaith :). See you guys next chapter. Bye :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Ten: At Death's Door**

Kyo swung his legs and jumped off the roof landing as cats do, on his feet. He extended his arms to catch Izumi but when she jumped into his arms she ended up pulling him down with her.

"Oof." Kyo coughed a little unprepared for the impact. Izumi started laughing and climbed to her feet pulling Kyo up to his. It was already morning since they had fallen asleep on the roof and when the walked inside everyone started laughing even Tohru giggled.

"Do we amuse you?" Izumi put her hands on her hips and Shigure and a newly arrived Ayame walked over to the two and burst out laughing once again. "Yes!" Shigure gasped trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard. Kyo grabbed Shigure by the front of his Kimono and stared yelling, "What the hell are you laughing about you damn mutt?!"

Shigure clicked his tongue, "My, my, my. Kyonichi if you keep that attitude up then I won't tell you uke." This only served to piss Kyo off even more. "What did you just call me?" Shigure knew to stop this time. "We were just laughing at a little picture. Thats all. Heh heh." Shigure sweatdropped and Kyo let go of Shigure causing him to hit the floor with a thud.

Kyo and Izumi walked over to where everyone was laughing and they all stopped when they saw the two approaching. Izumi glanced over Haru's shoulder and her face paled. It was a picture of Izumi and Kyo lying out on the roof but his arm was wrapped around her waist protectively and Izumi had a hint of a smile on her face. They looked very..."You look cute Izumi-San" Tohru clapped her hands together delightfully.

Izumi's blood boiled and she asked through clenched teeth, "Who took it?" Shigure was cowering in the corner so she knew it must have been him. "Sensei!"

"Heh. Heh, heh." Shigure shot up and ran out of the house and Izumi pursued him. They ran through the woods and she managed to lose the dog.

"Damn." Izumi kicked a nearby tree and hopper around holding her foot hissing with regret. She limped through the woods as it seemed to grow darker and darker as she became more entangled within. She sat down to rest and a voice called from behind her.

"My Raven."

 **Sorry its so short but I have an online exam to take. Please let me know what you think. Bye! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven**

Before she had time to react a blurred thing- person rushed by her.

What was that? Izumi's nose was filled with a familiar aroma of someone she knew. A scent she could not easily forget. One person it could belong to...Akito.

"Wha- what are you doing here?" Izumi backed herself into a tree. She hadn't felt this vulnerable since she had still lived with her Mother. Come to think of it, she really didn't remember her Father all that well. She had a glimpse of his black hair and his pale skin.

"I can go and come as I please. You Izumi have no say in the matter." Akito's face stretched into a sly smile. He walked in front of her and yanked her forward by the collar of her shirt.

"How has your mother been lately. My, my, my. It must have been years since I last saw that little wench. I just don't understand how she could produce something as monstrous and as vile as you. Must be like Mother like Daughter."

For some reason this brought tears to her eyes. She had been so used to parents of victims that were her doing yelling the same obscenities at her. And yet, his words seemed to sting most.

"P-please stop." Izumi whimpered which seemed to be just hilarious to Akito.

"I thought Ravens were supposed to be majestic and beautiful creatures," he dropped her to the ground and stooped down to ensure he was eye level with her.

"- I know about you and the cat." And with that he walked away. The only thing worse than Akito's wrath...Was him being calm. She just lied there crying, breathing shaky breaths.

She heard the branches rustle and she sat up quivering in fear that Akito hadn't really left. But to her relief it was Kyo. He rushed over and knelt in front of her.

"You alright?" He caressed her cheek and she pressed her cheek to his hand taking in the comforting scent that was all his own.

"How long have you been here?" Her voice broken, shaking with every word.

"From when he said I know about you and the cat." Her eyes filled with tears until they spilled over and he pulled her into an embrace. She began to cry into his chest soaking his black shirt with her tears. They just sat there in almost unbearable silence as the misery surrounding them almost overcame them in its entirety making it grow more difficult to breathe. After awhile Izumi finally stopped crying and she pulled back rubbing her now red eyes. She found herself laughing. How ironic. She had felt alone all her life and even now when she was surrounded by all these people she still felt like no one was there.

"I don't give a crap what that bastard says. I can see whoever I want. Since when have I cared what he had to say anyways?" Kyo muttered angrily and Izumi glanced over at him out of the corner of her eye. Looking back down at her feet she whispered, "Around the same time I did."

Kyo and Izumi decided to stop by the town square to hopefully create a more pleasant atmosphere. Plus it was December and Izumi wanted to go window shopping. They walked around the town looking at all the elaborate Christmas light displays they had set up. Kyo almost laughed at the blowup Santa Clause that somehow was missing an eye. Thats one way to scare children.

They continued their venture around the town until the came across a jewlery shop. Izumi didn't have to beg too much in order for him to follow her inside the "Girly" store. The black haired sales clerk that looked to be about their age came up to them smiling. "Ah, are you two here for an engagement gift?"

"WHA-? HELL NO!" Kyo shook his head turning away blushing madly and Izumi blushed for a different reason. That didn't sound _that_ bad did it?

"Oh. My mistake. What are you here for then?" She asked still smiling just as brightly as ever and Izumi mumbled that they were just looking. Izumi paced around the store and her eyes fell on a shimmery music box that played Tchiavosky's "Pas De Deux" with a ballerina twirling in the middle while in Pirouette position. Izumi jumped up and down clapping her hands together.

"Whats the big deal?" Kyo scratched the back of his head wondering why this meant so much to her. She turned to him her eyes gleaming with excitement that he never saw before. She looked just like a little girl on Christmas morning.

"I've always wanted one since I was little. Mom wouldn't let me." Her voice now held a sad note to it. She reached for the price tag and nearly fell forward. "300 yen! Theres no way I can afford that." She folded her arms disappointed and trudged out of the store. Kyo stared at the music box curiously before walking out of the store behind her.

When they got home they saw everyone but the usual residents and Mio had already left. Even Shigure was back and honestly Izumi had forgotten why she was so mad at him in the first place. But something was wrong. Instead of an upbeat Tohru there was a downtrodden one in her place. Rather than a smart-ass Yuki or even a perverted Shigure, they were both distraught about something. Mio had covered her face with her hands.

"Who died?" Izumi laughed at her attempt at a joke and Shigure turned to her. "Well first Hatori-nii called here. Oh and how I wish Ayame had. Its been a long couple nights without him and-"

"Shigure." Yuki scolded and Shigure bowed his head, his smile disappearing as he remembered what he was starting to say before. "Oh and Akito requests Izumi's presence at the main house." Akito doesn't really request anything. He only makes orders. This caused Izumi to hyperventilate and crouch down holding her head, shutting her eyes. "I can't go. I can't. I can't." She kept repeating over and over until Shigure's voice stopped her.

"If its any consolation I will be in the room with you." And this made Izumi feel even worse. She wished Kyo could have been with her but he was forbidden from the Main House. Takumi walked into the house and collapsed on the couch.

"I was looking for you everywhere ya know." Takumi said pointedly to Izumi. This nearly made Izumi burst into tears. She was dreading going to the main house. She felt as if something eerie was looming over her. As if something really terrible was to happen. Shigure handed Izumi her coat and they walked out in uncomfortable silence. Izumi looked back at the house that was getting smaller and smaller as they moved further away. When they finally arrived at the main house after the agonizing silence that hung in the air, they walked through the dimly lit halls. Everywhere she looked she saw shadows.

They knocked on the door and Hatori lead them inside. Akito ordered Shigure to refrain from speaking and no matter what was to take place not to move a muscle. Izumi sat down putting her legs underneath her and she bowed her head.

"You know how I feel about my zodiacs. And I don't condone any relationships within my Zodiac. With actions come consequences." Akito got up and walked around Izumi watching her carefully daring her to deny anything. Suddenly Izumi felt a sharp pain her back. She gasped as she came to realize that Akito had stabbed her. She hunched forward and he managed to stab her in the stomach and she coughed up blood. Shigure cringed from where he sat and Akito kicked Izumi over. She was trying to stay calm while being in excrutiating pain. After that everything went black.

Everywhere Izumi looked she saw heavy darkness that was threatening to swallow her whole. She heard a soft voice. "Izumi." She looked around trying to find the voice and it called out again this time louder. "Izumi." She focused on finding the voice and walked into a wall that was hard to see in the dark. The voice called to her once again sounding darker. She recognized it as the Black Raven within her.

"What do you want with me?" Izumi whispered and the voice chuckled.

"Nothing in particular. So what did you get us into this time?" Black Raven asked boredly and Izumi shuddered feeling cold all of a sudden.

"I-I'm not sure." And the last thing she heard before coming out of her coma was, "LIAR!"

The monitor beeped and Kyo breathed a sigh of relief. He saw Izumi begin to stir and figured she would be okay.

"Izumi! You're okay!" He smiled and reached for her hand kissing it all over. Izumi looked at him strangely and wondered why this random person was kissing her hand. Who the hell was he?

"Um...Who are you?" Kyo stopped and looked at her his pupils shrinking and then growing bigger. "Wha- You don't...Remember...Me?" Kyo asked in bewilderment.

When Kyo left the hospital he walked throughout town his hands shoved into his pockets blocking out the world. The only sound he heard was the blood rushing in his ears until he walked into the jewlery shop. He pointed to the jewlery box and the sales clerk from the day before handed him the box after gift wrapping him. He rushed off to the hospital hoping that maybe this would help her feel at least a little better.

Akito was lying on the floor facing the window. He held out his hand so that the bird that flew into his window could perch there.

"So...It is done?"

The voice behind him sounded, "Yes Akito-sama." Akito chuckled.

"You erased my daughters memory. Good then."

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve: A Second Chance at Living**

Takumi walked back and forth across the waiting room floor, Mio was nervously playing with her white hair, Tohru on the other hand was trying to cheer everyone up by stating all the positives to their situation which was driving the two nuts.

"How freakin long does it take for an operation?" Takumi flopped down in his chair impatiently tapping his fingers on the hand rest. Mio held his hand and squeezed it gently and Tohru rubbed his back.

Kyo walked in through the automatic doors and staggered over to where everyone was sitting and sat down his mind still muddled and unfocused. He just sat there silently clutching the music box to his chest. The events of the past couple days played in his head.

 _"Wahh Kyo's hitting me!" the boy cried. Kyo? Yuki? Those names I've heard so many times before. I remember watching Akito abuse Yuki whilst I stood on the sideliines helpless...useless. And I had always felt bad for Kyo- the rejected amongst all of us. None of the Sohmas aside from Hatori, Shigure, and Akito know of Takumi and I. But thats because of several reasons._

 _"Why are you here anyways? How come you aren't hanging around Takumi or whatever?" Kyo asked annoyedly._

 _"He is kind of- preoccupied at the moment." Izumi stared down at her hands._

 _"You alright?" Izumi nodded and Kyo's worried face became one of anger. "What are you doing out here alone? Didn't that damn rat offer to take you home?"_

 _"He did but I was worry about you Kyo-kun." Kyo shook his head, "You don't even know me. Why do you care? Nobody else does." Kyo stuffed his hands in his pockets and Izumi instictivley reached out and took his hand from his pocket and held his in both of hers._

 _"I do care Kyo-kun, you may not think I do but I do very much so. I just wish you'd understand that everyone else does too." Kyo looked at Izumi still wondering why she was being so kind to a monster like him and he was not usually one to show sadness to anybody. But this time was different, he felt like he knew Izumi on a personal level._

 _"...Thanks..." Izumi smiled. "Likewise, for saving me." Kyo nodded and they walked in the direction of Shigure's since much to Izumi's suprise and Relief Kyo asked if she'd like to stay for the night._

 _She continued to trek down the hallway and at the same moment, Kyo swooped in from the hall window. "Ahh! Kyo you scared me!"_

 _"Sorry and you can call me Kyo ya know."Izumi's face flushed, she was almost as bad as Tohru._

 _"Oh I didn't mean to upset you Kyo ku- I mean Kyo. I just wasn't sure you wanted to be informal." Izumi bowed until Kyo stopped her and to her surprise he was laughing._

 _"Apology accepted, don't break yourself. I swear sometimes you act just like Tohru." Kyo lead her to his room._

 _"You can stay in my room for the night and I will take the couch for tonight." Kyo was about to leave when Izumi's voice stopped him._

 _"Thanks Kyo. You are so kind, never forget that or allow anyone to speak different." Kyo slid the door shut and stood in the hallway for a moment until the corners of his mouth turned upward slightly before heading downstairs._

 _"Kyo..." "Hmm?" Kyo gazed down at her with those captivating crimson eyes of his._

 _"I- I am part of the Zodiac." Kyo stopped in his tracks and gaped at her._

 _"...And I know you're the cat and well..I-er am the Raven of the Zodiac removed like the Panda and the Cat." Kyo seemed to be dazed which was new for the neko. Finally five agonizing moments later a smile formed on Kyo's face and Izumi's heart fluttered._

 _"I'm glad you entrusted me with your secret and all but why? Why tell me?" Kyo scratched his head in thought and it was Izumi's turn to smile._

 _"Because you're my friend dummy," she pretended to hit him on the head and he laughed. He knew Izumi was too pure at heart to actually hit him even if as a joke._

 _"I still don't get why you say these things Izumi. Is it out of pity?" Izumi instantly got serious and shook her head no, "No I really do like you Kyo and...You're not a monster."_

 _"Kyo, you okay?" He looked over at her for so long she began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. Still no response. She waved her hand in front of his face and she noticed him getting closer. The hell was he doing? He wasn't going to- oh yes he is! He kissed her._

 _She felt odd kissing him since it seemed so out out of character. Kyo pulled back his eyes still closed and he whispered softly, "I'm sorry." He kept saying it over and over until she covered his mouth with her own lips this time. The kiss took Kyo aback. Why was she kissing a creature like him? He didn't even deserve to kiss someone as beautiful as her._

 _Izumi pulled away and she shook her head in bewilderment. "You just don't get it do you Kyo?...Look if anyone is a monster around here it is me."_

 _"Stop trying to make me feel better," he turned away and Izumi moved so that she faced him. "This is the truth. You know of my other form the Black Raven. Kyo I don't think you've ever killed anyone. But you know what, I- she has."_

 _"We're like to seperate people such as Yin and Yang. Both polar opposites, but one without the other is imbalanced." Kyo lied back on the roof trying to take in all this information and Izumi lied down next to him._

 _"Kyo...I like you. A lot. There are people that care about you, you just need to look further." Kyo gave a small grin whereas Izumi on the other hand displayed a big smile._

 _"...So...How does this...Dating- thing work exactly?" Izumi laughed and she took Kyo's hand intertwining hers with his. "I dunno, guess we'll learn together."_

 _"- I know about you and the cat."_

 _"I don't give a crap what that bastard says. I can see whoever I want. Since when have I cared what he had to say anyways?" Kyo muttered angrily and Izumi glanced over at him out of the corner of her eye. Looking back down at her feet she whispered, "Around the same time I did."_

 _The black haired sales clerk that looked to be about their age came up to them smiling. "Ah, are you two here for an engagement gift?"_

 _"WHA-? HELL NO!" Kyo shook his head turning away blushing madly._

 _Izumi paced around the store and her eyes fell on a shimmery music box that played Tchiavosky's "Pas De Deux" with a ballerina twirling in the middle while in Pirouette position. Izumi jumped up and down clapping her hands together._

 _"Whats the big deal?" Kyo scratched the back of his head wondering why this meant so much to her. She turned to him her eyes gleaming with excitement that he never saw before. She looked just like a little girl on Christmas morning._

 _"I've always wanted one since I was little. Mom wouldn't let me." Her voice now held a sad note to it. She reached for the price tag and nearly fell forward. "300 yen! Theres no way I can afford that." She folded her arms disappointed and trudged out of the store. Kyo stared at the music box curiously before walking out of the store behind her._

 _"Oh and Akito requests Izumi's presence at the main house." Akito doesn't really request anything. He only makes orders._

 _The monitor beeped and Kyo breathed a sigh of relief. He saw Izumi begin to stir and figured she would be okay._

 _"Izumi! You're okay!" He smiled and reached for her hand kissing it all over. Izumi looked at him strangely and wondered why this random person was kissing her hand. Who the hell was he?_

 _"Um...Who are you?" Kyo stopped and looked at her his pupils shrinking and then growing bigger. "Wha- You don't...Remember...Me?" Kyo asked in bewilderment._

 _When Kyo left the hospital he walked throughout town his hands shoved into his pockets blocking out the world. The only sound he heard was the blood rushing in his ears until he walked into the jewlery shop. He pointed to the jewlery box and the sales clerk from the day before handed him the box after gift wrapping him. He rushed off to the hospital hoping that maybe this would help her feel at least a little better._

Kyo felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the room. He could hardly stand it what with all the memories swarming his head. They hadn't even been together that long and already he had been robbed of the best thing thats ever happened to him. After taking a few moments to collect himself he walked down the long winding hallway until he reached room 407 where she was staying. He slowly pushed on the door handle and the door opened with a light creak. He stepped in shutting the door behind him and Izumi looked up from a dark book she had been reading that Hanajima had dropped off for her.

"Hey." She smiled and this gave Kyo a sliver of hope that maybe Izumi was still in there. But he couldn't find his voice just yet. He crossed over and sat down on her bed and stared at her. He noted that her eyebrows furrowed in confusion proving she still didn't have the slightest idea who she was. He stared into her eyes wondering what to do.

"Hey um...I know I don't know you all that well but you've visited quite often...I don't know- maybe you could tell me some things you know about me?" Izumi fiddled with her fingers nervously and Kyo nodded solemnly. But Kyo figured he should leave the tragic parts out of her life which included him.

"Well you're Izumi Sohma and you're 15 years old turning 16 in I think three months or so. You have a best friend named Takumi Sohma and-"

"-Wait. This Takumi...Does he happen to have black hair, pale skin?" When Kyo nodded Izumi smiled widely. She finally remembered a small piece. Kyo sighed though because he knew it would take awhile to reconstruct her memory. Even still there will always be gaps and bits and pieces missing.

Haru and Momiji walked in both in different dispositions than they usually had. But Haru still had a blank stare whereas Momiji had of course a lollipop jutting out of his mouth.

"Hatsuharu, Momiji!" Tohru cheered greatful to see more familiar faces. Hatsuharu acknowledged her with a small nod and Momiji bounded over to Tohru with sad amber eyes.

"Is she alright Tohru? Huh? Is she?" Tohru was unsure so she held his hand and said she hoped so.

Meanwhile back at Shigure's

Normally Yuki would go to the hospital to support Tohru since she would be freaking out. But for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do so. Shigure on the other hand had witnessed everything from start to finish that had happened to Izumi. Thats why he wasn't going to go. They both sat in silence sipping tea awkwardly until they heard a rumble and the boar crashed through Shigure's paper doors.

"Why is everyone out to break my house?" Shigure mock cried before heading into his study shutting the door behind him.

Kagura ended up landing on Yuki knocking him back with full force and his now empty tea cup hit the floor with a crash. Kagura straddled him pinning his wrists to the floor and started demanding, "WHERE IS MY KYO?! I HEARD HE GOT HIS MEMORY ERASED IS THAT TRUE?! ANSWER ME YOU DAMN RAT!" Yuki's face twisted into a grimace and he answered through clenched teeth, "Unfortunately the stupid cat is unscathed. Its Izumi thats- wait what? Memory erased?! What are you talking about?"

Kagura rolled off of Yuki in relief completely ignoring his question. "Oh. Thats fine then. That bitch deserves it after what she did to me."

Yuki grabbed ahold of her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Tell me everything you heard."

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen: The Lies We Tell**

Izumi POV

Kyo told me several stories about my life that he knew. He was to help with my amnesia.

I lowered my gaze and notice a music box on Kyo's lap. My music box. I felt myself smile as I realized this and Kyo blinked back wondering what I was so happy about. I pointed to the gift of mine he was holding and his face lit up.

"Yup I got it since yesterday...Well you told me you wanted it so here." Kyo thrust it into my arms blushing he turned away and I took it gleefully. Placing it on my lap I began to wind it up until the dramatic classical peace began to play. It was soothing as well. Reflecting the lows and highs of my life. I was so excited about the gift that I kissed Kyo. He jumped back and I felt different. Almost as if this had happened before. But why would I kiss him? Its not like I'm his significant other. I mean, Kyo didn't tell me...?

Narrator POV

Kyo cocked his head curiously wondering the next course of action. Before he had the chance he was interuppted by Takumi, Mio, Tohru, Haru, and Momiji barging in.

"They told us we could see you." Takumi stuffed his hands in his pockets and was relieved to see Izumi was alive and well. Definetley not as bad as he had pictured. Izumi's face reflected brief puzzlement before she recalled that he was Takumi.

"Oh. Hello. Ta-Ku-Mi." Izumi spoke carefully and Takumi raised an eyebrow.

Kyo mouthed she doesn't know. "What?" Takumi cupped his ear and Kyo rolled his eyes whispering, "She doesn't remember." "What?! I can't hear you!" Takumi yelled leaning forward. "Speak a little louder will ya?" Kyo growled, "I SAID SHE LOST HER FRIGGIN MEMORY YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Kyo hadn't meant to say all that but he had felt so much stress and anger piling higher and higher threatining to crush him.

"I need to get some air." And with that Kyo left to try and recollect his thoughts. Plus it was getting a little too crowded in there.

Back at Shigure's

Kagura rolled off of Yuki in relief completely ignoring his question. "Oh. Thats fine then. That bitch deserves it after what she did to me."

Yuki grabbed ahold of her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Tell me everything you heard." Kagura stared back confused as to why he cared about her rival.

"I think she got her memory erased...So?" Yuki froze. How bad was that cat taking it? It must have been rough on him...Not to say that he cared or anything but he knew what it was like to get someone you were friends with to lose their memory. Like when he was younger and played tag with his friends and ended up transforming requiring Hatori to erase their memories.

"How did she lose it exactly?" Yuki sat back on his haunches and Kagura sighed already tired of the conversation.

"How else do you think? Hatori erased her memory shortly after Akito stabbed her." Kagura scoffed.

 **Okay thats all since I don't wanna get caught and have my grounding longer. Since I'm on Winter Break I should be able to have more time for updates though. In case I can't update on Tuesday, Merry Christmas. Happy Hanakuh. Happy Kwanza. Peace ;)**

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen: Well Kept Secrets**

Everyone being around her like this all at once was quite overwhelming. So of course relief washed over her when visiting hours were over. Izumi looked out the window as the sky was decorated with the twinkling lights known as stars drawing inspiration for many. Little doth she know that Kyo was wandering the streets below still wondering how to handle the situation.

Kyo POV

How stupid was I to get in a relationship with her? Another zodiac no less. I wish I had pursued Tohru, maybe things would be different...wait the hell am I saying? Izumi is beautiful, kind, protective, brave, strong... She's perfect even though she thinks different. Guess we are both alike in that way. I just wish I could be there for her. Make sure she never has to suffer the pain I have. I guess what I really want is to know more about her and learn to cherish her no matter how pansy that sounds.

Narrator POV

And with sheer determination Kyo was determined to get Izumi her memory back. Time to talk to the doctor. Question is how since he's banned from the main house?

Kagura decided to stay for dinner and Shigure allowed her to since he was afraid shed break his house if he didn't. Meanwhile Yuki sat at the desk in his room thinking about how this could happen to Izumi. He didn't know why he cared so much. Sure she was family but it was almost as if he felt something for her. This incident had hurt him more than anything else. He was going to devise a plan to fix it.

Takumi and Tohru were walking home hand in hand. Takumi was so happy to see that she no longer blushed. Tohru on the other hand was quite apprehensive about what she was going to ask.

"Takumi?"

"Hmm?" He asked dreamily and Tohru instantly felt guilty.

"Will you be attending your Mother's funeral tomorrow morning?" Takumi's grip immediately tightened as he fought back tears. He nodded half-heartedly feeling like such a wimp for crying all the time. Tohru hugged him figuring he needed it and sadly he transformed. But they didn't break the hug, not for a second.

Kyo called the main house and after two rings a gruff voice answered. "Hello."

"Hatori." Kyo growled and Hatori rolled his good eye. Great. He was having a decent evening and now Kyo was gonna talk his ear off about his little highschool "Sweetheart" like he wanted to hear that. Do people seem to forget what happened to Kana?

"What the hell gives you the right to just take someones memory like that? Oh so just because Akito didn't allow you to have a love life, you think the rest of us shouldn't?! Thats a load of bull shit Hatori. You really are as cold as freakin snow!"

"Are you finished now?" Hatori asked boredly. "There is a memory reverse process in which I can retrieve your friend's memory. But it won't be easy..."

 **Hope you guys liked. Sorry for the short chapter and the big gap of time since my last update. Bye :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen: Memory Reversal and Exams**

So. Theres a way to retrieve her memory. But this kinda thing has never been done before...Has it? Kyo hung up the phone and he slowly grinned. Finally.

Back at the Hospital

There was a knock at the door and in stepped Izumi's regular nurse.

"Ahh how are you feeling today Miss?" The Nurse set down the tray of grotesque hospital food. Or at least it was to her anyways.

"Better. Thanks." Izumi sighed and the Nurse stopped. "Whats the matter?"

"...When will I be able to leave here?" Izumi looked out the window at the dark sky. The only light being the moon which Izumi had found herself fascinated with lately.

"Doctor Natsuya said you are stable enough to be released tomorrow." Izumi nodded her head in thanks and the nurse left the room after flicking the light switch.

The next morning

Yuki trudged down the stairs half asleep as usual and stumbled nearly falling on his face. That would have been a sight to see. It was much to early for Shigure's pervetedness, Kyo's aggrivating persistance, and even Tohru's cheeriness. It was a Monday morning which also meant school.

Tohru finished setting the table and bid Yuki a short good morning before rushing upstairs to get changed into the uniform she wore everyday. Kyo was complaining about the leeks Tohru had served and Shigure was pretending to cry as Mi-chan tried to get Shigure to finish his manuscript. Yup, just another boring day. Until...

The door opened and Izumi slowly walked inside taking in her surroundings. It felt familiar. But also had a dreamlike quality to it almost as if impossible to reach. Unattainable.

Izumi was immensely nervous being around these strange people that claimed to know her. She could hardly take the fact they were staring at her as if examining their next test subject. So to say she was a little freaked was an understatement.

"Miss Izumi. Shouldn't you ought to be in the hospital recovering?" Yuki asked still shell shocked that she was standing here before him.

Izumi clasped her hands together in front of her and she softly spoke, "I re-recovered enough to be released.

"Oh my." Shigure whisked his paper fan out of the sleeve of his kimono. "Well do you remember anything here in particular. Izumi glanced around before sighing frustratedly shaking her head no.

"Oh."

Takumi decided to leave the tense atmosphere and took a walk Mio following behind him.

"I'll help you get settled." Tohru smiled and Izumi nodded shyly as she lead her upstairs.

After freshening up Izumi sat in her bed in Kyo's room staring out the overcast sky and Kyo knocked on the door.

"There's someone here to see you." He stepped aside to reveal Hatori and Hatori knelt in front of Izumi.

"Kyo told me you couldn't remember much is that correct?" Hatori knew the answer for obvious reasons but this was standard follow up procedure. Izumi sadly nodded and then Hatori asked another question.

"Would you want to remember?" Izumi's face brightened "Could you really, but how?" She started bouncing up and down until Hatori grabbed her shoulders causing her to halt.

"That's not important. Do you?"

She nodded once again now beaming and Hatori placed his hands over her eyes and when he was finished he asked if she knew who he was. She strained trying to remember but she just couldn't.

Shigure got up and Kyo clenched his fists? "Sorry I failed Kyo."

"Failed? You didn't try hard enough." Kyo got to the point where he was practically begging him to try again but he left and Kyo broke down. He was so pissed off and depressed it was too much. To get his anger out he challenged Yuki to a fight. Yuki said he didn't feel like it which only served to piss him of even more and he landed an uppercut on Yuki and the fight was on.

But, later on that night when everyone had gone to bed Izumi was tossing and turning. She finally resorted to climbing out of bed and get a cup of water from the bathroom as her head was now pounding. It felt like someone did a number on her head. When she finally looked up from where she had been leaning over the counter and stared into her reflection, she saw her evil counterpart staring back at her.

"It's been a long time hasn't it?" The black Raven chuckled darkly as she stared at her nails.

"W-Who are you exactly?" Izumi was starting to hyperventilate and it only made matters worse when Black Raven retorted, "You know who I am. Would you like your memory back?"

Izumi nodded finally getting her breathing under control until black raven dropped the bomb. "I need you to murder Mio. Till then I will give you your memory back but know this. You have exactly one week to do the deed before I kill you myself."

"But I-" "Clocks ticking bitch." And with a flash of white light Izumi was staring back at her normal reflection. There was no way she would be able to get sleep now. How could she kill Mio? And why?

 **Hope You Enjoyed and Happy New Year! Bye :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen: Ultimatum**

Izumi's legs buckled underneath her and she pressed her hands to her eyes. How could she ever killed Mio? Not only was he her best friend's sister but Mio was also one of her closest friend that was a girl. She'd rather not have her memory if it meant killing her. What problems did Black Raven have with Mio any way. This was the ultimate ultimatum.

Kyo walked up the stairs, towel slung over his shoulder planning to take a shower and he saw the bathroom door was cracked. He knocked and heard no answer. Peering inside he saw Izumi crying and he slammed the door open kneeling down beside her.

"Izumi whats wrong? What happened?" Izumi shook her head and Kyo lifted her up and carried her back to his room and shut the door with his foot. Kyo placed her down on the bed and he sat down next to her.

"Kyo I'm so sorry. Please just kill me! I don't want to kill anyone else." Kyo cocked his head and hit his ear as if to unhear the nonsense he just heard.

"I'm sorry did you just say you want me to kill you?" Izumi nodded and then Kyo thought for a moment. "What the hell brought this on and you remember my name is Kyo?" Izumi nodded and sighed. She sat up against the wall wrapping her arms around her knees.

"After Hatori did the memory reversal thingy the Black Raven spoke to me. She told me if I wanted to keep my memory I would have to kill Mio." Kyo took a few moments trying to take in all this information and he pulled his girlfriend into a warm embrace.

"So what will you do?" He stroked her hair and she told him her final answer, "Isn't it obvious? I'm giving up my memory. This will be good for you Kyo, you will be able to be with someone that brings you great happiness instead of grief. I see the way you still look at Tohru. Don't worry everything will be alright."

 **Alright so let me know what you think and I hope to update again today. I have to take a couple of exams online so hopefully after I can update with chapter seventeen. It leaves you with a cliffhanger in the meantime. Bye :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen: Unjustified**

Kyo pulled away checking for any signs that she was joking. She seemed dead serious about this. Kyo felt selfish but can you blame him? When something good finally falls in his lap he has to give it up because Akito had a hissy fit. It was so damn wrong that now she has the opportunity to have it back but for a horrible price. It was too late, she already decided what she would do.

Kyo left the room to clear his head but Izumi on the other hand was on the verge of collapse. If she just so happened to not tell Kyo is she doesn't kill Mio she dies. So Izumi decided what she was going to do. Izumi was going to spend her last week helping everyone she could. She wouldn't dare tell anyone how she will end up. She just couldn't bring herself to do that.

Mio was tapping her fingers on her lap sitting in the obstetrician office waiting room. Takumi was right there with her as Mio requested him to be with her for the ultrasound in place of the father of her baby. Takumi smiled wryly, he still felt he should be held accountable for all this.

"Mio Sohma." The nurse practitioner called glancing down at her clipboard. Takumi and Mio walked in together.

At home Tohru was chopping up carrots for the stew she was serving for dinner tonight when Izumi walked in and leaned in the doorway. Tohru looked up after she scraped the carrots off the cutting board and smile brightly.

"Izumi I didn't expect to see you." Izumi walked over and forced a smile. "So Tohru about you and Takumi-"

This made Tohru drop the colander she had just pulled out of the cabinet in shock.

"Y-You remember? That's amazing I'm so happy!" Tohru clapped her hands together.

"Uh Tohru," Izumi pointed to where the water was boiling over in the pot and she turned the heat down.

"So about you two, how are things?" Tohru managed a small smile. "Fine." When Tohru saw Izumi's distraught expression she began to wave her hands frantically, "Not to say he's a bad person but...I don't know." She turned back to her cooking and for the first time in history Tohru sighed.

Tohru finished the stew before continuing.  
"He's so kind and there's so much more to him than people would see at first but-"

"-He's not Kyo?" Izumi cut in and Tohru looked up in surprise.

"Don't act so shocked I know for a fact you like each other. It's woman intuition y'know." Tohru just nodded still wondering if she had really been that obvious.

"But what about you and Kyo?" Izumi frowned at this but she pressed on, "Trust me, I'm not gonna be able to stick around to even know. Just ask him out and I'll handle Takumi." Tohru smiled once again and thanked Izumi before running off in search of Kyo to avoid disappointing Izumi. She was a woman on a mission.

Mio and Takumi walked through the door smiling like they had just won the lottery.

"I take it the appointment went well." Izumi laughed lightly and Mai nodded. Handing her the black and white printout of the ultrasound Izumi saw not one, not two, but three babies.

"Um..." Mio nodded once again. "Yup, I'm having triplets."

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen: Fools Fall in Love**

"Triplets? Are you sure you can take on that many?" Mio nodded with determination and Takumi shook his head at his sister.

"You've really grown into a woman Mio.." Takumi seemed to finally notice that she was no longer his baby sister. She was matured at the age of fifteen. She still needed protecting from time to time just as anyone does. But she is learning sooner than others how to face the cold,hard, reality of adulthood.

Mio pulled him into a tight hug and he smiled as a tear slid out of his eye. She could handle the responsibility.

Izumi hated to break up this touching, heartwarming moment but she had to explain to Takumi that Kyo and Tohru were no longer theirs. Not to mention she was going to help him find someone new before her time came.

"Takumi I need to tell you something-" but she was interrupted by the painful sounds emitting from Mio. Takumi looked at her worriedly. She was clutching her stomached as the cries became excruciating to even listen to.

"Mio what's wrong?!" Mio shook her head tears spilling over her cheeks.

"It...Hurts Takumi!" Takumi and Izumi didn't waste anytime and thankfully he had his license. They both rushed her off to the hospital.

A couple of hours later the doctor stepped out into the waiting room.

"Where is the father of the child?"

"He's not in the picture, how is she?" The doctor motioned for the two to follow and every other Sohma was in the waiting room (Along with Tohru but the exception of Rin, Kureno, and Akito).

The three entered her room and found she was hooked up to an I'v and saw her pulse being monitored. It was steady. Izumi and Takumi relaxed at this but the doctor had yet to tell them her condition.

"Well-" Takumi growled impatiently. Doctor Kaoru responded, "I'm sorry but I'm afraid one of the three babies died by miscarriage. I'm sorry." The doctor patted their backs as if to express his condolences before leaving the room.

"Oh my-" Izumi gasped out overwhelmed rendering her speechless. Takumi just blinked wondering if this was just a nightmare. No this wasn't real, it couldn't be. Why would this happen? How? Takumi looked at Mio's grief stricken pained expression as she began to stir..

Mio glanced around the room at everyone's expressions and she began to panic. Just how bad was it?

"Oh Mio. You lost one of your babies." Mio shook her head as if to hear better.

"I'm sorry what? Please tell me you're joking." But they were really anything but. After that, Mio had sunk into a deep depression. How would she be able to explain this to the other two children. She didn't understand, the doctor had said they were healthy. But somehow the doctor did look different, he looked like ...Akito-Sama?! Maybe it wasn't her fault after all, but somehow that didn't help lift the heavy weight from her chest.

It was three days into the week when Izumi stopped by to see a tearstained Mio staring out the open window.

"You have to eat Mio, how else are the babies to get their nutrients from their Mother?" Mio looked up at that. Mother? Ha! She didn't know how to refer to herself as the mother of anyone or anything. It sounded to unrealistic to her ears. Mio began to shake with tears and Izumi pulled her into an embrace trying to comfort her anyway she could. But funny thing is, she didn't know how to do that.

Takumi sat at the dinner table with Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, and Shigure. It was very awkward silence that filled the room.

"Tohru smiled at Kyo and he smiled back just as warmly and Takumi raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Then Kyo pressed his lips to Tohrus, Takumi jumped up and snatched Kyo by the collar of his shirt.

"What do you think you're doing?" Takumi narrowed his eyes at him.

"Wasn't it obvious? I'm kissing my girlfriend. Izumi said she'd explain the situation." Izumi looked up in shock before recalling the conversation from a couple of days ago. Things had been so hectic lately that it had slipped her mind.

"Oh that." She tapped her chin in thought and Takumi glared at Izumi.

"Yeah up Tohru and Kyo like eachother." Izumi stated nonchalantly with a shrug.

"You seem awfully calm about this- placid even." Takumi narrowed his eyes in suspicion. She really had no desire to explain but she clinked her glass as if to propose a toast.

"Can I have your attention. By sunrise tomorrow, I am to die. Before you protest let me just say it was my choice and it was a pleasure to know all of you." She declared from where she stood on the chair.

"You're not planning to commit suicide or anything are you miss Izumi?" Yuki stared up at her with wide eyes.

"No." Kyo cut in. "It's complicated but she's dying so Mio won't have to. Although if you ask me, if she wasn't pregnant I would choose the latter."

"That's horrible Kyo!" Tohru cried.

Kyo saw how serious Tohru was before reconsidering his words. "I mean I just don't want either of them to go."

"Just kill me instead. You deserve to live, after the kind of mother I am so far you deserve it." Mio stepped in the room wiping her tears away.

"Mio no." Izumi shook her head. "I think...The reason she wants me to kill you is because you were raped by her love."

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen: This is my Deathbed**

 _I can smell the death from the sheets, covering me. I can't believe this is the end...This is my deathbed...I lie here alone. If I close my eyes tonight...I know I'll be home._

I can still hear her laugh sometimes...Everytime I think of her smile, I feel a flutter of hope...Hope that I would see that smile again once more, or hear her laugh just one final time...

I never thought it would end like this. She never knew it but I loved her more than anything. That time when she comforted me when my mother killed herself she was there, every step of the way...

She left a world of broken hearts behind. Does she know that? Does she know Mio named her daughter after Izumi? Does she know that Kyo along with Tohru and myself cry at night?

Does she realize how important she was? But I do suppose I am grateful to her as well. After all she saved my sister when I could not. But damn it hurts everytime I think about it.

The sick look in Akito's eyes as they lowered her casket into the ground. Why did it end like this? Why was Mio's daughter born as the raven? When will this cycle end?

I wonder...

I will wait for you Izumi, my love. I will visit you everday with candles and your favorite flowers. I will learn to live a life worthy of you watching. I will make you proud...

...I love you, always and forever...Izumi.

~Takumi Sohma

* * *

 **I decided you guys needed a proper ending. Thank you to all those that reviewed and I hope you enjoy the rest of my stories.**

 **~TohruKyoYuki**


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